by T. W. Brown
That was where Thomas stopped again. He looked around at us. We could all guess the rest of the story more or less. I saw no reason to have him continue. The tears streaking his face were more than enough.
“We need to get moving,” I said, startling a few of the group with my sudden command.
I got my bearings and decided that we would be best served to head due east. That would provide us with the most cover. It would also get us out from in front of that mile wide sea of zombies headed our way.
I gave us some time to sort of spread out, nudging Thomas and indicating with my eyes that he should fall back with me a bit. Once I was certain that nobody was in hearing distance, I stopped him with a tug at his sleeve.
“I ain’t gonna lie,” I said quickly, wanting to get this over, “if this was the Old World…I would probably never talk to you again. However, I also think that maybe you are honestly sorry for what you did. I ain’t gonna hold it against you, but if I see you step out of line so much as once, we are through. You got me?”
Thomas nodded and I turned to catch up with Darla and James. I had no explanation for why I felt sorry for the guy. He had a sad story, but so did everybody else. A small voice in my head piped up to remind me of the acts that I’d just committed. Maybe I needed somebody like Thomas to make me feel better about myself.
***
“I see at least a dozen,” Darla whispered, her voice still sounding meaty from that hole in her cheek. It sort of reminded me what people had sounded like after a dentist appointment when their mouth was still messed up from the numbing shots.
We’d made our way around that massive herd and taken refuge in a large two-story yellow house that sat in a small ridge at the end of a cul-de-sac. From the roof, I had a clear view back the way that we’d come and could see out to the rolling fields that unscrolled their green carpets all the way to the distant foothills of the Blue Mountains.
I could not actually see the reservoir where we had set off that explosion—and by “we” I meant James—but I could see the brush prairie just beyond it to the south. It was black with the milling swarm of undead. For the briefest of seconds, I wondered who I had just put in the path of that creeping throng of death.
My mind snapped back to Darla. The “dozen” that she was referring to were probably stragglers from that massive herd, either that, or they might even belong to that large (but still much smaller) group that we’d seen pouring from the university grounds. Of course they could just be their own little herd seed. Over time they would pick up more of their kind and maybe grow to the size of that awesome crowd that we’d diverted. With all of the sudden noise that had been created by our multiple attacks around La Grande, we could have drawn them out from anywhere.
I looked around my group and saw the fatigue etched on their faces. The fight and everything that followed had taken its toll on all of us. We were spent, and I knew that nobody wanted to be called upon.
“Everybody stay put,” I said as I moved to the edge of the roof.
Getting down on my stomach, I let my legs slide over and reached with the tip of my boot until I found the rail of the balcony. A moment later I was walking out the front door and angling towards the general direction of where we had seen the zombies.
“Hold up!” I heard a loud whisper-yell from behind me.
Turning, I saw Darla and Thomas jogging my way. When they caught up, I gave them both a grateful nod and moved to the end of a tall fence that would allow me to peek out at where I would expect to find the small cluster of walking dead. Ducking low and easing my head out to take a look, I was greeted by a low moan from the mouth of a zombie that had been standing as still as a statue on the other side of the fence!
“Fuck!” I yelled as I stumbled back.
A set of withered and dead fingers gripped the edge of the fence and the zombie came around in a twisted parody of peek-a-boo. It took two steps for me and stopped. It was only then that I realized that this particular zombie was a child.
The child had been no older than twelve. She had worn glasses. The reason that I knew such a trivial fact was from the jagged piece of lens that still jutted from the empty and withered left eye socket. It had been deeply embedded and was so covered in rot and filth that I doubted it would even be possible to remove at this point; not that I had any intentions of doing such a thing.
Thomas stepped forward and raised his machete. Darla grabbed his hand and yanked him back. The zombie turned its head slightly as if to regard the pair. I couldn’t swear that this particular zombie had been with the group of child zombies that I’d seen earlier, but I could not swear she hadn’t either.
Thomas tried to jerk away and the zombie girl turned her head just a bit more to fix him with her single-eyed gaze. She made a hissing sound that made my skin pebble up and every hair stand on end.
“What the f…” Darla started, going silent when the gaze shifted to her.
“…fuck,” I finished.
The girl turned to face me again. Her head tweaked one direction and then the other, reminding me of a bird. To say that I was creeped out would be the understatement of a lifetime. A rustling came from the other side of the fence and another zombie stepped into view.
“No…” I breathed. “That can’t be possible.”
Another little girl emerged to take her place beside the first one. Her black hair was matted and falling out in a few patches. The skin was almost entirely gray and almost appeared to be a bit waterlogged.
Darla’s hand twitched, and I could tell that she was really struggling with the urge to draw her weapon. I shot her a hard look and shook my head. Another…and then another child stepped into view. I recognized the one girl from before and was now certain that this was the same group we’d encountered earlier. Still…that did not explain—
“Emily,” I breathed.
The face was almost unrecognizable…almost. But I was more or less certain of the identity of this particular zombie. My mind raced with so many thoughts. How was this possible? Of all the zombies, of all the possible places that I could have ended up at this particular moment.
“Do you know this zombie?” Darla said with as much incredulity in her voice as I felt in the pit of my stomach.
“I did. She was part of our group when we still lived up in the cabin.”
Emily-zombie tilted her head to one side and then the other. For just a moment, I could swear that something flashed in her eyes that could have been recognition. Then, she made a mewling noise and turned. The others that had joined her turned and followed.
I was still sitting on the ground in utter disbelief when I heard a clanging noise that sounded like a rock on a piece of sheet metal. I got to my feet and scurried back to the edge of the fence and risked another peek.
“No freaking way,” I gasped.
At the end of the block, I watched as Emily raised the brick in her hand and brought it down hard on a stop sign that had been bent down to about a foot off the ground. At least two dozen zombie children had fallen in with her. But that was not what had my attention.
They poured out from just to my left. The dozen or so zombies that I’d spied were only the leading edge! I watched as a steady stream of undead continued to flow past less than two blocks away. It looked like I just found the herd from the university. Yes, they were much smaller than that other group, but they still had numbers that made it next to impossible for me and my group to contend with.
I watched in disbelief as Emily-zombie and her small group moved off almost directly east. They must have been moving exactly parallel to us for who knows how long.
“Wait,” Darla whispered, “is that group of zombie children leading that other group away from us?”
As unlikely and improbable as it seemed, that was exactly what was happening. We remained still, fearing that even breathing too loud might bring a curious zombie our way to investigate; and where one came, you could count on many more following.
We must have stayed put watching that hellish parade for almost an hour before the final stragglers limped past and eventually disappeared from sight. I stood up and turned to Thomas and Darla. They both had questioning looks, but I had no answers. I know what I’d seen. Of course I would share it with Dr. Zahn, but something made me feel deep in my gut that I would never see Emily again.
***
The compound came into view. It seemed awfully quiet for a place that had just, for all intents and purposes, conquered a city. La Grande was now wiped clean of all the little factions that had held out. So why did I feel like garbage?
My crew had done what we set out to do. We had mopped up our target, leaving nobody alive in our wake. The business of securing the entirety of this town could now begin.
I had to wonder, is this what our forefathers felt when they swept the Native Americans aside? Sure, Graham and his council were using the idea that this place was being re-settled by the citizens of La Grande. But I was from Portland; would I be a lesser citizen once the dust settled? We now had far more than we knew what to do with when it came to territory. I had no idea how they intended to keep it secure. I also did not know how they would police it to make sure that no new roving bands moved in. Would we have to make another sweep in a few weeks…months?
I pulled up a few hundred yards away from the barricades and towers that marked the current border of the Island City settlement. My team pulled up with me and gathered around. I was not much on speeches, but I had a few things that I felt I needed to say. After all, these people had followed me on this mission. They might not ever tell anybody what they saw or what we did, but they would know in their hearts and carry the scars on their souls for the rest of their lives. We would share this forever no matter what happened once we walked through those gates.
“I want to thank each of you,” I started. “And I hope that none of us will ever again have to face the choices we faced today. I have no clue what Graham and the others will say or do when we arrive. They may ask each of us to never speak of what happened out there. Hell…they may not care, but judging by what I’ve seen in just the short amount of time that I have been here, it just feels like too many of the old ways still exist. Secret missions, killing folks because they don’t fall in line with some master plan.
“But we will always know…and maybe some of us are okay with things.” I looked up, realizing that my head had slowly dropped while I spoke. I needed to look them in the eyes when I said this next part. “We killed innocent people…children.” That word soured on my tongue and threatened to make me physically ill. “We can convince ourselves that it was us or them. We can try to justify it by saying that if we had not struck, then it would be our loved ones, the children of Island City that perished. Maybe that is true…or maybe that is what we will force ourselves to believe so that we can sleep at night.
“Personally, I believe that there had to be another way. I’m not saying that we should have just rolled over and let somebody else come storming into our homes, but right now, the other side of the town of La Grande might as well be another country. How long will it take for us to actually secure it? Are we going to build a fence around the entire city? Is that even possible? Sure, there are a few hundred people here…maybe even a thousand. And with all the possibilities of bringing on wind turbines and having some sort of power restored, this place will become a Mecca for other survivors.
“Somebody is going to have to decide who you let in and who you exclude…and you know that is going to happen. Is this how you want to start over? When will the gates close to outsiders? Is this why we went out today and killed total strangers?” I paused, not sure where I was going with this or what I was trying to say. Finally, I shrugged and gave a motion for us to move forward and approach the main gate.
“Whatever you decide…” I heard a voice beside me and turned to see Thomas. “I just want you to know that I will have your back. You are the first person who hasn’t looked at me like I was garbage.”
I nodded and came to a stop when the person on watch in the tower called down for us to do so. We identified ourselves and were admitted. Our entire team was escorted to the medical center and given a checkup to ensure there were no bites or scratches. I didn’t pay attention much, and more than once the person checking me had to repeat themselves.
At last it was done, and we were issued clean clothes after being assured that all of our field gear would be cleaned and returned to us at our residences. It was as if a part of me had disconnected. Somehow, I found myself standing alone in the parking lot of the Walmart. I looked around, noticing the black stain on the asphalt, but the entry doors had been replaced.
Standing in the middle of the big, black smear of charred pavement, an idea began to form in my head. The harder I tried to force it away, the firmer it seemed to become.
I started walking back to the house. I passed people on the street and in their yards, but I took no notice. Each step closer to home was one step closer to having to make a choice. The thing was, each step closer only helped to firm my resolve to the point that, before I’d even gone halfway home, there was no choice. My mind was made up. It was not going to be easy, but I felt in my heart that it was the right thing for me.
The last half of my walk home was spent trying to figure out how I would break the news. I was certain that it would meet with resistance, but I would not be pushed to change my mind. I practiced my opening statement at least fifty times by the time the house came into view.
“Billy!” Katrina burst from the house.
I watched everybody else filing out behind her to gather on the porch. For some reason, Gable Matczak and Sylvia Peretti were there. Also, some man that I’d never seen before was standing in the midst of everybody. I could tell that he was military right away. I mean, a lot of people can slap on the fatigues, but a real soldier or Marine has that certain quality.
The looks plastered on everybody’s faces told me that something was up. Of course, I thought. Why would this be easy? Well, it didn’t matter. My mind was made up and it was final. I would let them blabber on about whatever new drama had unfolded, because, after all, that was the norm. Every day was some new form of drama to get folks all worked up. I was going through the list in my head of what it might be when Katrina reached me.
“We know why Jake and the others launched that attack,” Katrina blurted.
15
Vignettes LIII
Emily-zombie led her group into the mass of large ones that were trudging past. They were all headed in the same direction—towards that newest and most massive sound. It had been just moments ago, and the draw had just been too great to resist at first. As a whole, she and the others had reflexively turned towards that immense sound.
She and the others had walked along with the large ones for a while until the spark renewed its vigor and caused her to stop. Fortunately, they had all clustered close since leaving behind what had basically been their home for so long. It had been an urge within each of them; that desire to stick together coming as a clear signal in each of the zombie children.
It took time and effort to maintain that closeness as Emily-zombie and the other zombie children waded through the large ones that continued on their mindless quest towards a sound they had forgotten almost the instant after it sounded. Some of the large ones actually turned and fell in behind Emily-zombie and her group.
That was of no concern and so it was ignored. Then she saw it, several of those sources of warmth. She watched as a few of them detached from their group and then vanished from sight. Still, it had been clear as to the direction they were headed.
Having to actually resort to physically grabbing hold of some of the other zombie children with her hands, Emily-zombie finally got them all to come to a halt. The last one she had managed to stop right at the edge of a fence. She could actually see flashes of the warmth through the cracks in the fence, and so she knew that they were close.
Ther
e was no place to hide except for a nearby shrub that had grown well past the bush stage as it had almost become a small tree. It was into that thick foliage that Emily-zombie retreated.
She heard noises from close by and did her best not to allow that diminished but still present instinct to send her towards that source. She was doing okay until one of those sources came around to her side of the fence.
There was a commotion, and Emily-zombie saw the one zombie child that she had just managed to bring to a halt start to stumble in pursuit of that source. Moving after it, she was able to snag the almost non-existent remains of a pair of pants and stop the child. However, that now put her within an arm’s reach of the very thing that she had sought to avoid.
“What the f…” one of the sources of warmth started making noise, going silent when the zombie child broke free of Emily-zombie’s grasp and turned its attention back towards the two sources of warmth.
“…fuck,” another voice finished.
Emily-zombie turned to face the second sound. Her head tweaked one direction and then the other. A rustling came from nearby, and another zombie stepped past her towards the living, warmth-filled creatures.
“No…” the larger of the two sources of warmth managed. “That can’t be possible.”
That was said as Emily-zombie moved and emerged to take her place beside the one that had managed to get free from her.
The smaller of the two sources’ hand twitched, sending a spark of the danger warning through Emily-zombie. Another…and then another child stepped into view.
“Emily,” the larger of the sources made a sound.
There was something about this source that sent images flashing in Emily-zombie’s remnant of a brain. This source was…familiar. It was somehow tied to the little girl…the man…and the others. Emily-zombie tilted her head to one side and then the other as she puzzled with the images flashing from the suddenly very active spark.
