by Jade Winters
“She’s good, thanks,” Hannah replied without looking up.
Alisa wanted to scream. What was going on? Less than twenty four hours ago they were sharing a very intimate moment together and now they were sharing pleasantries like a couple of old maids.
“Did she say anything about you disappearing on your birthday?”
It was fine if Hannah was going to act like nothing had happened but she was not going to erase one of the most important nights of her life.
“Yes.” Hannah set aside her papers. “She had planned a day of events which I didn’t know about.”
“That’s a shame. I feel guilty now.”
The look on Hannah’s face was one of faint amusement. “Don’t be. I really enjoyed it.”
A devilish look came into her eyes. “You mean some of it.”
Hannah smiled. “Most of it.”
“What part didn’t you enjoy?” Alisa asked as her eyes roamed over her body. “Are we meant to just carry on as if nothing happened?”
“No,” Hannah replied letting out a sigh. “But we have to realise why it happened. We were both drunk and our emotions were running high.”
“Hannah, I’m sorry if this is not what you want to hear but being drunk had nothing to do with it. If you want to hide behind that excuse fine but I know what I felt and I believe you felt it too.”
“So what if I did? That doesn’t change the fact that it would be wrong to take things any further.”
Alisa leaned forward, her expression intense. “Wrong for who?”
Hannah cast a disapproving look at her. “I’m surprised you even have to ask that.”
“I know you mean Naomi, but Hannah, she’s dead.”
“I think I’m aware of that.”
“Are you saying that you do feel something for me but it feels wrong because Naomi would disapprove?”
“Something like that.”
Alisa slapped her hand down on the seat with an impatient gesture. “Oh, Hannah, can’t you se—”
The door flew open and Meredith walked in, slipping her bag from her shoulder before flopping down on the seat next to Hannah.
“I’ve been walking up and down this train like a yo-yo looking for a familiar face for ages . . . oops, sorry, have I interrupted something?” she asked looking from one to the other.
“No, just talking about old times it can keep . . . for now,” Alisa said as she leaned back against her chair and closed her eyes with an air of resignation.
***
The train’s speed reduced before pulling up beside a crowded platform. Eagar faces of adults and children waited until the trains occupants departed before rushing on board to be seated first. The three women were met outside the station by a waiting car Meredith had arranged to take them to a country manor hotel a few miles away from the town centre.
Oak House Manor was surrounded by beautifully manicured gardens and animal shaped hedges. A large pond with a dazzling waterfall spraying from the mouth of a smooth stone dolphin came into view as they rounded a bend and pulled up outside the entrance.
Stepping out of the car onto the gravelled surface, they walked up a short concrete pathway that led to a reception area. The female staff, dressed smartly in black skirts and white shirts with black waistcoats buttoned tightly over them, welcomed them all in a warm and friendly manner.
Once signed in, Hannah excused herself and went straight to her room, declining the soft drink the staff had on standby for arriving guests. As well as wanting to look at last minute details on the script she needed a little more time to herself before facing Alisa again.
She dumped her case on the floor and set straight to work, spreading her papers out on the satin covered king-size bed. If she lost herself in her work it would mean she had less time to think.
When her belly began to rumble and demand her attention she ordered room service of steak Diane with dauphine potatoes, fresh vegetables and a bottle of white wine to wash it down with. She couldn’t risk going down to the dining room and bumping into Alisa. Her mind may have been on work but her heart was telling a story of its own. Why had it been Alisa that had awakened her senses? Of all the people in the world. She felt afraid of her and the possibility of all that she offered. Could she fall in love again with a woman who she thought betrayed her?
Her phone bleeped. Looking down at the screen she saw it was a message from Leah, warning her not to get too close to Alisa. It’s a little too late now, she thought as she switched her phone off. Rising from the table with a glass of white wine in her hand, she went into the bathroom and ran a bath. Ten minutes later she lay submerged under a layer of bubbles. If only she could ask Naomi what she should do. Would she be amused by the twist of fate that had led her to fall for her best friend? She would like to think wherever she was she was looking down at her smiling and telling her to stop over thinking and just go with the flow. The Naomi she knew wouldn’t have a problem with it, so why was she so intent on creating one herself?
The next morning as the sun peered through a break in the cloud, Hannah made her way down to breakfast on the terrace. She felt refreshed after a surprisingly good night’s sleep. She spotted Alisa at one of the many tables with Meredith and the rest of the crew members. Noticing her, Meredith raised her hand and beckoned her over.
Alisa said nothing as Hannah took a seat, instead she chewed on a piece of toast and kept her gaze out onto the vast garden in front of her.
“We missed you last night,” Meredith said as she poured her a cup of tea.
“I had a bit of a headache.”
She could feel Alisa’s gaze fall on her as she reached over for a bowl of sugar.
“Steve has gone on ahead to set things up.”
“That’s good.”
“Ah, there’s Elizabeth,” Meredith said as Alisa’s on screen partner came through the door.
“I’ll see you on set,” Alisa said, standing and giving way for Elizabeth to sit at her seat.
Hannah stood up and followed her into the hall. “Alisa.”
She turned slowly to face her. “Yes?”
“Is there any chance that we can get together for dinner tonight?”
“I don’t know where everyone is going yet.”
“I was talking about just the two of us.”
“We can always have room service.”
“No,” Hannah said a little too quickly causing Alisa to raise her eyebrows. “Sorry, no if you don’t mind, I’d like to go somewhere neutral.”
“Okay, no problem, maybe we can go for a walk.”
“That would be great.”
“Okay a walk it is then. I need to go and get my bag. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay.”
Hannah let out a heavy sigh as Alisa disappeared behind the closing doors of the lift.
There, that wasn’t so hard was it? she asked herself. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that she was not going to be alone in a room with Alisa. She wasn’t ready to go that far yet.
***
“Steve, if we could just get an over head shot that would be great,” Hannah said as the two women lay on the bed waiting to begin.
“No problem,” Steve replied, grabbing a ladder and attaching his camera to an overhead wire.
“That’s perfect, Alisa. If you could just look more this way to the camera, I want to get the full effect of your state of mind when Elizabeth tells you she doesn’t think you love her anymore.”
Hannah watched the scene unfold in awe of Alisa as she followed her instructions with ease. She really did put her heart and soul into her work. She had never seen an actress look so genuinely upset—she could almost believe it was real as the camera closed in on her sorrowful face. There was a pain in her eyes that made Hannah wonder what she was thinking about. As the scene drew to a close with both women hugging and making a decision to work harder on their relationship, Hannah rose from her seat. “That’s it guys,” she called. The small crew
broke out in a round of applause.
That was the easy part, now what she faced was going to be harder—Alisa.
***
It was early evening when Hannah and Alisa finally sat down alongside each other on a metal framed bench overlooking the river Avon. People, young and old, walked along the path, some laughing and joking, whilst others strolled in quiet solitude. A weeping willow tree sat nearby, drooping its branches just beneath the shimmering waters.
“So,” Alisa said, turning to Hannah, eyeing her intently and getting straight to the point. “What’s the solution to our little problem?”
“I honestly don’t know,” she said, noticing the spark of hope in Alisa’s eyes quickly distinguishing.
“You know we can’t just carry on playing cat and mouse don’t you.”
“I know. Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.” Alisa waited for Hannah to continue, holding her gaze solidly.
Hannah glanced around gingerly before asking in a low voice, “Don’t you find this a bit incestuous?”
Alisa frowned. “The last time I checked I was an only child unless. . .”
“Don’t make light of this, Alisa, you know what I’m talking about.”
With some exasperation she said. “What do you want me to say, Hannah? Yes, I feel guilty being attracted to my best friend’s girlfriend. Will that make the situation any easier for you because if will I’ll say it, but it won’t be true.”
“Everything’s always so easy for you isn’t it?”
Alisa reached out and clutched her hand. “Hannah, I know you’re struggling with this whole thing. I think I’d be disturbed if you weren’t. But you need to understand I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not asking you for a meaningless one night stand.”
Hastily, Hannah drew her hand away. “I just don’t think I can. . .”
Alisa leaned back, resting her arm on the side of the bench. “Is that really true or is it because you just simply don’t want to?”
Hannah rested her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands. “Of course I do. I just don’t want to lead you on and then not be able to deliver at the end of it.”
“Hannah, I don’t care how long it takes. If there’s a slight chance, that’s good enough for me.”
She gave her a sideward glance and raised her eye brows. “Really, how long for?”
“As long as it takes.”
“And what about Skye?”
Alisa looked at her quizzically. “What about her?”
Hannah sighed. She couldn’t help but doubt nothing was going on between Alisa and Skye. Was Alisa lying to her again? She didn’t know but regardless of the situation she couldn’t hide her feelings.
“Where does she figure in this web?” she asked tightly.
Alisa replied with amiable casualness. “Nowhere as far as I’m concerned.”
“Does she know that?”
“I should hope so. You’re under no pressure or obligation to do anything you don’t want, Han.”
She stole a quick glance at her and smiled. “I know.”
“Good.”
“This is just all so unexpected—I feel so conflicted,” Hannah said, bending down to pick up a stone which she threw into the water. Whenever her feelings for Alisa revealed themselves, guilt quickly followed.
“I don’t want to bring you any distress. You know that don’t you.”
Hannah looked down for a moment, fidgeting with the button on her sleeve. “I know, it’s not your fault it’s just me over thinking as usual.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to forget Naomi. She played a massive part in your life, mine too. I don’t want to replace her.”
“I know.”
Alisa’s voice dropped almost to a whisper. “I’ve missed you so much, Hannah.”
Hannah studied her for a moment before finally admitting her feelings. “Me too.”
Hannah’s phone rang, distracting her momentarily. “Sorry, it might be my mum.” She fished her mobile out of her pocket and looked at it before laying it by the side of her.
“It’s okay, it’s just Leah.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”Alisa said, her voice heavy with sarcasm.
“You really don’t like her do you?”
“Nope,” she replied, averting her gaze.
“Can I ask why?”
Her mouth tightened slightly. “Let’s just say I have my reasons.”
“And you don’t want to share them with me?” Hannah probed.
“No, what’s the point. She’s just not my sort of person,” she said, her eyes following a family of swans as they sailed by with their offspring in tow.
“And who is?”
Alisa reached up and turned Hannah’s face towards her. Her eyes focused on her intensely. “You.”
“Don’t look at me like that. You’re making me feel as if you’re undressing me with your eyes,” Hannah said, her face turning crimson.
Alisa’s eyes brimmed with tenderness and passion. “Maybe that’s because I wish I was.”
“Is this how you charm all the ladies?”
Alisa’s eyebrows arched mischievously. “No, Hannah, only you.”
She gave a strained laugh. “You can’t expect me to believe that.”
Without warning Alisa brought her hand to Hannah’s cheek causing her pulse to race in response to her touch.
“Believe it or not I’ve changed a lot since Naomi’s death. It put a lot of things into perspective for me,” Alisa said.
“And was one of those things me?”
She nodded. “You could say that.”
Hannah took a deep breath, trying to steady the shakiness in her voice. “I don’t know whether to feel flattered or not.”
“Just say you feel pleased.”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.” Feeling the need to change the subject Hannah continued, “So are you looking forward to starting your new film?”
Alisa withdrew her hand and slouched back against the bench. “Not really.”
“Why not?”
“Do you need to ask?”
“Alisa, I don’t know how things are going to turn out but I know that I need to take it slowly. I don’t want to do something I may end up regretting.”
“That’s fine with me.”
A thrill of anticipation coursed through Hannah’s body as she glanced at her watch. Attempting to remain composed she straightened her shoulders and turned to her. “Good. Shall we go back to the hotel, I’ve got to go over the script for tomorrow,” she said, standing. She was sad that they were returning to London the next day as she would have liked to spend a few days with Alisa just reconnecting and trying to rebuild the shaky foundation they both stood on.
One day at a time, she reminded herself again. She wished for once in her life that she could just throw caution to the wind and follow her heart without her mind constantly interfering.
Chapter 31
Alisa hadn’t seen Hannah before she left as she had headed back to London on the 6:00AM train. She had to attend a meeting with Larry at 9.00AM whilst Alisa and the rest of the crew left a couple of hours later. The talk she’d had with Hannah had proved to be fruitful and she was one hundred percent certain things were on the right track now. All she had to do was keep her mouth from behaving like a runaway train.
After dropping her case off at home she made her way to the set. As she neared the building, she could see Skye leaning up against the wall and she didn’t look happy.
Crew members were in the courtyard hollering at each other. She nodded her head at a few familiar faces.
“What’s up with you?” Alisa said, stopping in front of Skye and noticing the hostility in her eyes.
“I came by on Sunday and your boat was gone.”
“I didn’t know I was under house arrest?” she replied, heavy with sarcasm.
Skye spoke with a possessive desperation in her voice. “Where did you go?”
“Out with Bobby, not that it’s any of your business,” she said omitting Hannah’s name.
“Didn’t you think to invite me?”
“Not really. We didn’t have any plans to do anything. Why are you being like this?”
“I’d have thought you’d have invited me, Bobby being my agent as well.”
“He’s not just my agent, he’s a good friend to me.” Alisa didn’t like the way this conversation was going.
Skye cast her eyes downwards. “I thought we were friends.”
“Skye, what’s brought all this on? I thought we knew where we stood with each other.”
“So did I but you keep giving me mixed signals.”
Alisa closed her eyes and leaned back. “Skye, it’s called acting. We’re following a script, it’s not real.”
She looked at her with suspicion. “So you don’t feel anything for me?”
“Of course I do . . . as a friend.”
“I’ve got friends. I don’t need any more thanks!” Skye retorted tartly, before abruptly turning and disappearing into the building.
Just great. Alisa let out a long audible breath.
***
It felt as if a swarm of butterflies were on the loose in her stomach as Hannah made her way to work. She slammed her foot on the break as a shiny new Mercedes cut in front of her. She refrained from hooting her horn as she was too happy to be drawn into conflict with anyone. The meeting with Larry had been a successful one. He was more than pleased with her progress.
Everything seemed to be falling into place as if like magic. She was over the moon that Alisa seemed to feel the same way about her. Now things could progress, albeit slowly. She was still trying to come to terms with having her feelings out in the open and the nagging doubt that she was somehow being unfaithful to Naomi.
Arriving at the set she walked with a spring in her step. As she stepped from the lift, Meredith ran up to join her.
“Morning, Hannah.”
“Hey Meredith. How’re things?” she said brightly.
Meredith beamed a sunny smile. “Good. This was dropped this off this morning.”
Hannah took a long black jewellery box from her outstretched hand and flipped it open.
“Very impressive,” she said, eyeing the white gold diamond bracelet which lay against the velvet material. She turned it on its back and smiled at the inscription, you complete me. This was going to be one of the most touching parts of the film when Alisa’s character gives the bracelet to her lover, letting her know how special she is. Why didn’t the character just leave if she was so in love? Not for the first time, she wished Naomi had spoken to her about the script. She would have loved to have known her thinking behind the character. That was the thing she hated about scripts, they were straight forward and to the point without much talk about what was going on in the characters minds. Normally, she would talk in length with the writer about all aspects of their work before moving forward. This time, she had to step into Naomi’s psyche and try and bring her words to life.
