Finnian had ushered me back over to Glen when the crannog started to empty and Raibert, assuming that Glen and I were a couple, quickly left. Glen had been drunker than he thought and so Finnian had to help us find our way back to the inn whilst we loudly complained that everything looked the same.
“He probably hopes that he never sees us again then,” I groaned, unable to hide my disappointment.
“He actually said he would meet us for food at midday, if you feel up to it,” Glen said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Seems like you made a good impression.”
“Wheesht.” I complained, unable to stop myself from blushing.
That afternoon, once I was sure that I wasn’t about to die, we made it out of the inn and met with Finnian in the crannog again. This time we managed to make it across the wooden path, which looked just as unstable as it had the day before, without too much hesitation. The meal contained fish again, but luckily this one had a much milder taste and so we managed to eat it without the drink to wash it down.
Finnian looked just as handsome as he had the night before and I couldn’t help but stare at him as we had our meal. He didn’t laugh at me or tease me for getting drunk, and I was glad to notice that I felt comfortable being around him even whilst sober. He had a good sense of humour and thankfully didn’t seem like a very serious man.
Thinking of him as a man and not a boy made me wonder what age he was, so when Glen nipped out to relieve himself I decided to find out more about him.
“How old are you? I didn’t ask last night.”
“I was twenty-two during the winter there, how old are you? I’m guessing not an old man like me,” he answered with a warm smile.
“Only eighteen, quite an achievement I think, with me being a changeling,” I said with a humourless laugh.
“You should be proud of yourself. Or proud of whatever it is your ma keeps feeding you that keeps your heart beating.”
“That’ll be the stew,” Glen said as he returned and caught the tail end of our conversation “Famous for her soup Ailis is, it’s worth travelling south for.”
“Maybe I will visit your village once you return.”
“I look forward to it,” I said with a smile which turned into a glare when I noticed Glen raising his eyebrows suggestively, loving every moment.
Luckily Finnian didn’t seem to notice as I attempted to kill Glen with my eyes.
“If you haven’t yet found transport up to the northern village then I would be happy to take you both across in my boat, it’ll cost you a few coins though,” Finnian said with a wink.
“That would be great,” I said, after a glance at Glen to wordlessly confirm our choice.
Finnian looked embarrassed for a moment, “It’s just a small boat. Not as big as some of the others you’ve seen tied up on the shore. She’s still fast though.”
“Oh, that’s alright, size doesn’t matter does it Morven?” Glen said with a smirk which quickly faded when I kicked him hard under the table.
We decided that we would spend one last day in the village before heading out across the loch as we needed to ensure that we had enough supplies for our journey north.
We’d have a chance to buy things in village on the northern shore of Loch Fai, but Finnian often mentioned that the market here in the south was the best so we felt it was only polite to spend some more coins.
I was glad that Finnian was taking us across the loch as being with him helped to distract me from the homesickness I so often felt. Glen said that he thought Finnian was looking to make me his wife and the thought made me burst out laughing.
I couldn’t imagine living up here beside the loch, eating fish that I hated all year round. The idea of staying in his company was a pleasant one, but I knew that as a changeling I wouldn’t live long enough to be a good wife for anyone.
I wasn’t even sure why I was thinking about marriage whilst in the middle of a life changing journey north. We were heading into the fairy kingdoms to demand answers, not looking for husbands. I decided not to think any more of marrying tall, muscular, tattooed men until the journey was over. Although I still allowed myself to appreciate his company and the rather impressive sight of him.
It would have been a waste not to.
10 YEARS AGO
T he weather took a turn for the worst causing Aelwen to invite King Ferchar, his family, and all of their travelling companions to stay in the castle until it cleared. As Norbroch was prone to long spells of heavy snow and raging storms, there was no way of knowing when they would leave us.
As hard as I tried, I could not find it in myself to be angry about that. To my dismay, I was finding it increasingly difficult to hide the smile on my face whenever I spotted the tall curly haired human heading in my direction.
Since our first meeting, that evening in the hallway, I saw Lachlann almost every day. Our daily routines meant that we were often in the same areas of the castle at the same time. I was not sure if I should curse or thank the Others for that.
The days passed and the weather continued to worsen, Lachlann and I spoke often and I found myself getting to know him. He had no immediate family, having been raised with a small group of human boys in Culhuinn. All of whom unfortunately now worked on various tasks for the King. Lachlann did not seem too fond of his king and I did not blame him, I could not imagine being raised to work for such a rude and arrogant man. Then again, I could hardly imagine myself working for anyone.
I had many acquaintances around the castle and across Norbroch, but never had I felt anything close to affection or love for any of them. Never the giddy feelings I experienced whenever I saw Lachlann.
When we were younger Aelwen was prone to falling for boys, and the occasional girl, after knowing them for only a few weeks and I refused to believe that I was doing the same. It was ridiculous.
A week after the King’s arrival, Aelwen brought up the human whilst we were having a family lunch together. I should have expected that Aelwen would notice my fondness for him. She always seemed to be able to guess every emotion I felt. If I was not already all too aware of her gift, I would think she could somehow read my mind.
“I notice you’ve been talking to that man a lot,” she commented, completely out of the blue whilst we ate a thick stew that the cook had brought for us.
“What man?” I asked, feigning ignorance whilst wrestling my spoon back from her youngest daughter Princess Aoife, who was now two years old.
Her eldest daughter, Princess Elspie, who was three years old, had given up on lunch and was instead drawing shapes on the table with the gravy.
“Oh, I don’t know, just a certain tall, handsome, curly haired human from Culhuinn,” Aelwen answered with a sly grin.
“Handsome, is he?” teased her husband Laird Ronan, whose family resided in a small castle east of the Verch forest.
“We have only spoken a few times,” I focused on my reclaimed spoon and not Aelwen and Ronan’s amused expressions.
“It is good to see you making friends Euna. You are always cooped up alone here in the castle,” Aelwen continued, her expression turning sombre as she spoke.
“I enjoy life here in the castle,” I hurried to assure her “and Lachlann is not my friend.”
“I’m sure he could be. Wouldn’t that be nice?” she encouraged.
“It would be inappropriate for me to become friends with one of King Ferchar’s servants,” I said feeling exasperated, that very thought had been reoccurring in my mind for days.
“There is nothing stopping you. Although, meeting without the King noticing would be the wisest choice,” Aelwen hurried to reassure me.
“I doubt he would notice, not if your friend Lachlann continues to complete his work,” Ronan added.
“I am... unsure how to make him my friend,” I admitted, the admission sounding far too much like a complaint for my liking.
Aelwen laughed, “For a start you don’t make anyone do anything. He has to want friendship
.”
“I cannot just walk up to him and ask him to be my friend, can I?”
“Ask him to join you for a drink perhaps, as if you are simply two strangers, rather than a Queen and a servant,” Ronan suggested, the two of them looking far too excited about their plan.
“That may work...”
PRESENT DAY
The castle was eerily quiet without Aelwen and her family roaming its halls, despite most of the servants and guards still being present. Unlike my sister, I never found myself forming a close bond with them and so I could not start up conversations now.
To alleviate my boredom a few days after they left, I donned a heavy navy cloak and headed out of the castle. My wandering took me to the Verch forest, a small forest which lay near the foot of the mountains. I remembered learning as a child that this was one of the smallest forests in the whole land and that shocked me. The trees were so huge and so old that I struggled to imagine a larger forest.
A vast forest sprawls across the land from Culhuinn down into the human kingdoms. Aelwen once visited and said that the forest was alive with magic. Despite knowing this, I was perfectly content with our little forest, with its usually snow covered evergreen trees and the little red berries that grew throughout the year.
Occasionally I would spot a will o’the wisp floating amongst the branches and made a point of not following them. It was well known that those tiny little fairies followed the commands of the Otherworld. They could spy to their hearts content, but I would not be taking anything to do with them.
The thought of travelling anywhere filled me with dread but I loved to be outside amongst the animals and magic. The wind blowing my hair and cloak behind me brought with it all sorts of curious sounds and smells. None of which you could experience from within the stone walls of the castle.
As a child, I had often dreamt of leaving the castle and my lessons behind to become an explorer. I would imagine myself going off on an adventure across the land with nothing but a little bag of food and my horse. A ridiculous notion, but still, I often wondered if I would have been happier had my life had taken that course.
10 YEARS AGO
I asked Lachlann to join me for a drink the next time I met him, near the servant’s chambers. I certainly had not been waiting there to see if I would meet him. His freckled, finely wrinkled face burst into a huge smile the moment I asked and he readily agreed to meet me. His smile was infectious and I could not help but share his happiness. That was until I realised I was horrifically unprepared.
What was I expected to wear? Were there any formalities I was unaware of? As soon as Lachlann went back to work I hurried as quickly as possible, without breaking my composure, to Aelwen’s chambers in search of her advice. I ended up with my arms full of the wriggling squirming baby Prince Elath, but it was a small price to pay for her insight.
Her first piece of rather unhelpful advice was to wear something I was comfortable in, which helped me in no way. What if I had been comfortable being naked as a newly born baby? Comfortable could mean anything. Thankfully she picked out a simple, navy dress for me.
Her next piece of advice was to not wear anything too regal, which would make Lachlann uncomfortable, but also nothing too below my station so as not to rouse suspicion.
Her final piece of advice was to simply be myself. Another ridiculous suggestion, how could I be anything other than myself?
That evening, I met with Lachlann in a rarely used room on the opposite side of the castle to where King Ferchar and his company where staying. Ronan had suggested it as the room was unlikely to be disturbed and none of the King’s staff would be at that side of the castle to see us. My personal guard Tormod grinned when I told him of my evening’s plans and seemed more than pleased to be on guard outside the door to ensure no one entered.
Whilst I waited for Lachlann to arrive I lit the fireplace, not that the room was particularly cold, but I knew that humans felt the cold more keenly than us fairies.
I shuffled and reshuffled the two bottles of whisky on the table, I could hardly tell the difference between the varieties but Aelwen insisted that different Lairds produced slightly different variations. I then found myself anxiously organising bannocks into a pattern on the plate before quickly stopping myself.
Ridiculous that one meeting with a human man had me acting like an infatuated young girl.
I took my seat at the table and vowed not to move or do anything ridiculous until he arrived, which had better be soon. Unless he had simply lied about wanting to meet. That thought made my stomach churn uncomfortably and so I forced it from my mind.
My wait did not last much longer and Tormod was soon opening the door to let Lachlann in. His hair was ruffled from his day’s work and his cheeks red from exertion, as if he had run all the way here.
“I apologise my Queen. My work took longer than anticipated although I hurried here as fast as I could,” he said, taking the empty a seat across from me.
“Euna.” I blurted out abruptly, which made him smile. “You may call me Euna when we are together, no need to be quite so formal.” I explained.
If I had been a human my face would surely have been burning red with embarrassment.
“Well then Euna, how about I pour you a drink, any preference?” he gestured towards my well-arranged bottles.
“Oh no, I can hardly tell the difference between them,” I admitted, which made him laugh heartily.
“We can start with this one then,” he grinned, choosing the fullest bottle of the pair.
I found that, despite my awkwardness and new habit of blurting out single words in response to his questions, Lachlann was very easy to talk to. He seemed to be genuinely interested in what I had to say and happy to be in my company. I often noticed that whilst acquaintances within the castle listened to me speak, I could see in their eyes that their minds were wandering.
Lachlann was different. I was the recipient of his full attention.
“I love spending time outside, especially in the Verch Forest near the castle,” I explained to him as we tried the second type of whisky, his cheeks were now flushed red from the drink and his curls wilder as he kept running his hands through them.
“I would love to visit Verch, maybe you could take me?” he looked so eager I could not say no.
“Well, it is nothing like the large forests you are used to in Culhuinn. You may not find it very interesting,” I explained, suddenly worried that I had made it sound too impressive.
“We servants have little free time back in Culhuinn and so I’ve never really had much of a chance to explore. I would really like to see a place you love, if you would share it with me.”
“Being Queen does not leave much time for enjoying things, but I would enjoy showing you the forest, so long as the King remains unaware.”
“Luckily, I am not one of his personal servants. I’m sure I could easily spare time for you Euna,” he said with a smile that I returned.
“Perhaps that should be our next meeting then?” I asked hesitantly.
“That sounds perfect.” Lachlann replied as he stood, taking my hand as if I for some reason needed help getting out of my chair.
Human hands were much warmer than a fairy’s hands I noticed.
We started towards the door, Lachlann never letting go of my hand. He paused and turned to smile almost shyly at me. His smile was radiant, like the sun breaking through the clouds after a storm, sparkling on the snow.
“I really enjoyed spending time with you this evening Euna.”
“As did I. We really should do this again,” I smiled, reaching out and attempting to flatten his dishevelled curls.
He stepped closer and I felt a little twinge of nerves when I realised how close we were. His expression was happy but questioning as he moved closer still. I found myself frozen, unable to respond or do anything a normal person would do when they found themselves pressed up against a handsome young man such as Lachlann. I cursed the Others for m
aking me so awkward around him.
Gently, Lachlann leaned his forehead against mine and I was quite sure that my heart was about to burst right out of my chest and ruin this perfect moment.
He seemed to be waiting, silently asking for permission to move closer, and so I nodded against him. He smiled and gently pressed his lips against mine. He attempted to move back when I did not respond and so I quickly placed my hands on his shoulders to pull him back. This gave him courage and his hands slowly found their way down to my hips. Our kiss was brief, but we were both smiling when he pulled away.
“Goodnight Euna.” he placed one last kiss on my cheek, slipping out of the door before I had a chance to regain my senses and reply.
Not long after, Tormod opened the door, presumably to check in case I had been murdered without him noticing. I had not moved from the spot I was standing in.
“Will you be returning to your chambers tonight my Queen?” he asked with a grin on his face.
“Yes, let us go back. Thank you Tormod.”
“I am glad you had a good night,” he said, surprising me as we reached my chambers.
I was going to correct him until I realised that this truly was one of the first evenings I remembered enjoying for a long time.
PRESENT DAY
Despite my thick cloak, I was chilled to the bone by the time I managed to pull myself out of my memories of our first kiss. I was exhausted and cold when I returned to the castle and was planning to head back to my rooms for a warm bath when Tormod spoke up, halting me.
“Perhaps my Queen it would be wise to have a meal before you retire?” he questioned, the sympathetic look on his face made me feel oddly guilty and so I agreed, requested that some hot soup be brought to my rooms.
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