by Trish Loye
Even if he had to die to do it.
She looked at the hard angles of his face and his dark eyes, soft with emotions she couldn’t name. He would die for her.
But she wouldn’t let him. She ducked her chin and squeezed him tight. They were going to get out of this alive. Together. Derrick’s arms felt so good wrapped around her. She never wanted to move.
“Did the distraction work?” she asked quietly, not quite willing to give up Derrick’s warmth.
“Mostly. Unfortunately, the rest of the team ended up on the far side of the road and a company of soldiers are between us and them. They won’t make the RV tomorrow morning.”
“What are we going to do?”
“We’re going to keep going in the same direction. The team will keep leading the soldiers away. We’ll meet closer to the coast.”
So she and Derrick would be on their own together. Her heart skipped and stumbled. It didn’t matter, she scolded herself. They were in a life-and-death situation. The man probably did this every weekend for fun. She would not go moony-eyed over him just because he’d come for her.
She stepped back, forced a carefree smile and jerked a thumb toward the sprawled soldier. “We need to leave before Sleeping Beauty wakes up.”
Derrick didn’t even spare the man a glance, but gave her a half-smile, his eyes serious. “Let’s move then.”
Derrick took the lead and she kept up as best she could. The nap had helped, but it wasn’t long before fatigue dragged at her. Her breathing made her ribs ache and with the growing pain, her thoughts turned dark and morose. Flashes of her torture sapped her strength. She knew they had to be quiet as they walked but suffering in silence would only get her so far.
“Tell me about your life,” she whispered.
Derrick glanced back at her. She could see him critically assessing her. He must have decided that speaking was worth the risk because he answered her. “Not much to tell.” He kept his voice equally as quiet. “I work and I work some more.”
“How’s your mother?” His father had died when he’d been young and she knew his uncle, who’d been Derrick’s surrogate father, had died some years ago.
“Mom moved to Victoria awhile back. Better weather than Ottawa.” He shrugged. “She’s happy there.”
Something in his tone made her frown. “You’re still not close?”
“She’s still a pacifist. We just agree to not discuss what I do when we’re together.”
Her heart broke a little bit. How could his mother not be proud of having a hero for a son?
Derrick would be so proud of Rose. Now was as good a time as any to make sure he knew about his daughter. She straightened her shoulders. “I have something to tell you.”
He looked back at her and gave a half-smile. “It’s okay. I met Rose.”
She gasped. “You met her? How?” She started thinking hard. “Rose took the photo to you, instead of sending it, didn’t she?”
“I think she wanted to make sure I got it.” He smiled.
“And she wanted to meet you,” Cassie muttered, unsure about how she felt at the moment. She had wanted Derrick to meet Rose, but she’d wanted to be there.
“You should be very proud,” he said. “She’s intelligent, brave, and amazing.”
She couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed on her face. “She is.”
“Will you tell me about her?”
She liked that there was no condemnation in his tone. No why-didn’t-you-tell-me-about-her. As if he knew she needed something to talk about, something from home that would give her a reason to keep going.
“Rose is a stubborn, smart, and entirely too independent teenager,” she said. Traits she got from her father, she wanted to say, but didn’t. She didn’t want to remind Derrick of what he’d missed. Not because he didn’t deserve to be reminded, but because she didn’t want to create strife between them right now. There would be time enough for anger if they got home. No. She needed to believe. When they got home.
“Sounds like her mother,” Derrick said softly. She could hear amusement in his voice.
She snorted and let the matter drop. When they got home, she’d let the two of them meet…and butt heads. “She loves computers, video games, and swimming. I can barely swim the length of a pool but she’s like a fish and is on the school team.”
Derrick made a small pleased sound. And Cassie knew if she asked, he’d tell her that he swam like a fish as well. She hid her smile.
They walked and talked quietly about their lives for most of the afternoon. If her body hadn’t ached so much, she’d think they were on a hike.
“Are we out of danger?” she’d asked when they stopped to rest at one point. Well, she’d rested; Derrick had ranged ahead and then back to her.
“No,” he said bluntly. “We’ve been lucky so far, but the Koreans are gathering their forces just south of us and keeping pace. We’ll need to head farther into the mountains to get around them.”
That meant steeper terrain. Her body wanted to protest, but she shushed it. “Lead on.”
16
Derrick kept a steady pace, one that was hard for Cassie to maintain in her present condition, but they couldn’t risk going any slower. He knew she had to be hurting because she’d willingly let him take her small pack and strap it to his. It didn’t add much weight to his load, but anything to lighten hers would make them faster.
She needed medical attention soon. He still had to remind her to drink. But dehydration and too little food and sleep were the least of her worries. He suspected she had bruised ribs from the way she winced when her breathing got labored. But she didn’t complain, just plowed ahead, running on fumes alone. He just hoped they made it to the exfil location sooner rather than later, before her exhausted body gave out. But even if she didn’t, he’d carry her out.
The sun still filtered through the overhead canopy, but it was close to setting. He needed to find shelter soon. He debated whether to leave Cassie behind and range ahead. His protective instincts didn’t want to leave her, but she’d managed well enough when he’d taken care of the soldiers near the ravine. He hadn’t realized one had slipped past him until he’d seen Cassie with the body. He hadn’t had the heart to tell her that she’d crushed the man’s skull when she’d bashed him with a rock in the temple.
Cassie trudged behind him, her head down, her raspy breathing rattling around them. He couldn’t leave her now. She was tough, but close to dropping. She didn’t have the situational awareness to be alone right now. Anyone could sneak up on her. He needed to find shelter for the night so she could rest. They walked on a steady incline, following a narrow valley that ran west toward the coast. They’d eventually have to hike over a mountain to avoid the enemy troops amassing below them, but for now they seemed safe enough.
They’d have to hike higher if they wanted shelter. This range was filled with cracks and tiny ravines they could use to hide out.
He stopped and let Cassie catch up to him. He lifted the tube of the hydration bladder he now carried to her lips. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” She took a small sip, shuddered and spit out the tube.
He grimaced. She was as far from fine as he’d ever seen her. But he had to trust she knew herself. “We’re going to head higher and find shelter for the night.”
“Should we stop for so long?”
“We won’t stop for the whole night, but you need rest.” She opened her mouth to speak and he beat her to it. “We both need rest. You ready?”
She nodded. Exhaustion weighed on her shoulders like a heavy ruck. He knew the feeling. He needed to take her mind off it. “Tell me about your work,” he said. “You’re a reporter for Global News, right?”
She nodded.
So he asked her about interesting stories she’d done to keep her talking and focused on something other than her pain. But even so, her steps slowed, her breathing grew heavy, and she held one arm around her body as if trying to keep her ribs
from moving. He scanned the mountainside. There looked to be a promising crevice ahead. He dropped back beside Cassie and slipped an arm around her, careful of the spot she’d been favoring.
“Not much farther, Little Wolf.”
She made a dismissive sound. “I can’t believe you remember that nickname.”
He couldn’t tell whether she was pleased or not. “It’s how I’ll always think of you. Small, fierce…and beautiful.”
This time her huff had a happy note underlaying it, he was sure of it. “Almost there,” he murmured.
Within minutes, they’d come to a thickly wooded area surrounding a part of the mountainside that jutted almost straight up. It was the craggy face that interested him. He set Cassie against a tree and prowled the area. It had a mostly clear view directly below them, but still offered cover from the sides. He found the fissure in the rock face that he’d seen from afar. It was narrow but large enough that both of them could rest inside. It was open to the sky, so it wouldn’t be an ideal shelter, but he could defend it and they could rest safely.
He dropped the rucksacks inside and cleared out a few dead branches, before digging out a thermal blanket and his med kit. He went back for Cassie and found her slumped against the tree. Her eyes were open but barely. She didn’t protest when he lifted her in his arms, just sighed and turned her head toward him. His chest seemed to swell with the need to protect this woman. He wanted to claim her as his, but he knew that even if he got her home safely that she wasn’t his. But, somehow, in the last few days, he’d decided he wanted her to be.
He set Cassie gently down on the blanket, wishing it was his bed back home. He placed her pack under her head as a pillow and wrapped the blanket around her as much as he could. “Rest,” he said. “I’ll get some food for you.” She sighed and her eyes closed. He brushed a few of her curls back from her face before he lifted his hand away.
He dug through his ruck to get an LRP freeze-dried meal pack and his jet boil in the bottom. Most times he just added water to the foil packets and slurped them down, but it was still light out and he didn’t worry about anyone seeing the tiny stove that could boil water in under two minutes. Cassie needed calories quick, and the warmth would do her good. Within a couple of minutes, he had a steaming packet of beef stroganoff and noodles. He nudged her awake and helped her sit up.
Her hands shook when she reached for the packet. He held it steady while she drank and chewed.
“Sorry,” he said. “No spoon. You’ll have to use your fingers.”
“That’s okay,” she said. “This is heaven. Why does this taste so good?”
“Because your body’s starving.”
Her hands steadied and her eyes cleared, so he released the pouch and began to pack away the gear.
“What about you?” she asked. “Aren’t you eating?”
He smiled at her. “I’m good with an energy bar.”
She grimaced. “You’re saving the meals for me, aren’t you?”
He didn’t answer, because he was, but she didn’t need to know that.
“I need you strong,” she said. “You shouldn’t starve yourself for me.”
He cinched up his ruck and placed it behind him to use as a back rest before settling into a sitting position that allowed him to see downslope and still be comfortable. He laid his rifle across his lap. “A body can go thirty days without food. And I’ve been eating regularly on this op. I won’t fail you.”
She shuffled closer to him. “I know you won’t fail me. The fact that you came for me at all tells me that. But I don’t want you to put me first.” She gave a little shrug.
What was this woman thinking? “Of course I’ll put you first and of course I came for you. Do you honestly think I’d leave you in that shithole when I have the ability to get you out?”
“No,” she whispered.
“You don’t sound like you believe that.” He lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. “I won’t leave you behind, no matter what. I will always come for you and bring you home.”
She gave him a little nod and what looked like relief flitted through her gaze. This strong woman had been on her own too long. Even if she hated him for leaving her nine years ago, he had to make her realize she could depend on him for help. “Now finish eating.”
“Anything you say, Colonel,” she said with a cheeky grin. She didn’t shuffle back to her spot, but settled right beside him, leaning against his shoulder.
And he liked it too much.
When she set aside the empty foil pouch with a sigh, he grinned, pretty sure no one had ever liked the LRP ration as much as she had.
“Now that you’ve eaten, I need to check you out.”
“Check me out?” She yawned and dragged a hand through her hair. “Because I look so awesome right now?”
He could see where Rose got her sarcasm. “Medically, smartass.”
Her eyes got wary. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not,” he said without inflection and in his best doctor-who-had-seen-everything voice. “Now take off your shirt so I can see your ribs. We might have to bind them.” He dug into his ruck for his med kit to give her an illusion of privacy while she peeled off her shirt. His heart thudded hard at the thought of her removing clothing for him.
Don’t be an ass, Blackwell, he berated himself. She’d been through too much to be leered at by him. With that, he faced her. She knelt before him in her bra and pants with her head down. Black, blue, and purple decorated her abdomen and sides like brutal abstract art. Welts covered the lower portions of her arms. Rage filled him and his hands clenched on the med kit.
Stay calm. He didn’t want to freak her out. “That looks nasty.” His voice came out too raspy and hard.
She flinched.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s okay, Cassie. You’ll get through this. I’ll help you.” He moved closer, but slowly, as if he approached a cornered animal.
Her body relaxed and she nodded.
“Tell me where it hurts.”
The lopsided smile she gave him broke his heart. “Everywhere.”
“Let’s start with the ribs.” He felt along them, all thoughts of seduction gone as she hissed and whimpered.
“Sorry, Little Wolf,” he murmured. “Not much longer.” When he was done, he sat back on his heels. “I think your ribs are bruised, but not broken. That’s a good thing,” he said when she grimaced. “It means we don’t have to worry about punctured lungs, though the bruises will still hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.”
She reached for her shirt and winced.
He snagged it from her. “Let me help.”
He got her to lift her arms and he carefully slid them into the sleeves, keeping his gaze on her face. Now that he wasn’t acting the medic, he still wanted to maintain a professional distance. Though it was hard. Helping her with her shirt brought him in close proximity to her as he pulled it over her head. He tried not to touch her skin, skin he wanted to run his hands over, not just to comfort, but to seduce.
He cursed himself silently for acting like a savage. She needed his protection, not his advances. He clenched his jaw and ignored her pretty little breasts so close to him and tugged her shirt down. He was a damn professional and he would act like it.
But he couldn’t stop his breath from expelling when he’d finished and sank back on his heels. He felt as though he’d just surfaced after a long, underwater dive. His heart thudded too hard in his chest and he took gulps of air to replace what he’d lost.
She stiffened. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you help me again.”
He blinked. “What are you talking about?”
“You were holding your breath.” She inched back on her knees. “I know I smell—”
He couldn’t help it. He laughed. Her scowl only made it worse. He muffled the next laugh because of where they were, but a lightness spread through him. The sense of relief made him want to laugh more. She really was okay.
And she was piss
ed. At him. She dug in her pack and pulled out a fleece, wincing as she tugged it on but not asking for help.
He smothered his humor and came close to help her pull it over her head. He spoke while her head was covered by the sweater. “I was holding my breath because being so close to you and not touching you the way I want is...unbearable.”
Her head popped out of the sweater and she stared at him. He took it as a good sign that she was listening at least. He took over pulling her sweater down while he considered his words.
“You affect me,” he said. “You always have.”
She scowled. “I affect you?” Her tone said, Is that the best you’ve got?
Oh, he had better, but now wasn’t the time or place. So he kept it short. “I want to touch you, to hold you, to make love to you.” He took a cleansing breath. “But we’re in enemy territory, and I’m not some teenage boy who can’t control himself.”
A half-smile crossed her face. “So you hold your breath?”
He wanted to roll his eyes. He hadn’t even known he’d been doing that and now he had a feeling she wouldn’t let him forget it. Was he giving her too much power by letting her know how much he craved her touch? But this was Cassie and he found he didn’t care. “I want you.”
Her eyes widened. “But—”
“But we’re in danger right now. This isn’t the place to have this conversation.”
Her mouth dropped open.
He grinned. “I kinda like seeing you speechless. It’s one for the books.”
“But…”
He traced the soft skin of her cheek, careful of her bruises. “We’ll talk when we’re safe. Among other things.” From her reaction, he had hope that she might want to pursue something when they got home. It lightened something in him and also made him more determined to get her there unharmed.
He sat back against the rock face, rifle again in his lap. She surprised him by snuggling up against him again, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I feel safe now.”
“Get some rest,” he said gently.
She closed her eyes. He kept a vigilant watch through the long hours that followed. Her trust in him a precious ember that kept him warm in the cold night.
