by Trish Loye
Fear struck her mute.
The guard prodded her and she took a small step. She was out of time. Derrick’s team wasn’t here. Her heart raced and she panted as if she sprinted straight for a cliff’s edge. Nothing could save her now. She was going to go over.
Another push. Another step.
No. She tried to think logically. The team was coming. She avoided looking at the hatch. Derrick wouldn’t let her down or leave her.
Maybe she should leave him.
Everything stopped with that thought. Her hearing, her breathing, her heart. Derrick was in this because he’d come to help her. If she tried to stall too much, the soldiers might decide to search the boat. They’d find Derrick. If the soldiers captured them both, they’d never let either of them go, and they might kill Derrick outright. She bit her lip. She couldn’t let that happen to him.
She wouldn’t.
Another step.
The Koreans would take her off the fishing boat before Derrick knew what was happening. He’d be stuck, but safe, and he’d escape when his team came.
Another step.
Regret for the path she’d chosen and a life not lived coursed through her, and even though a part of her wanted to look at Derrick, she refused to do it. He’d know as soon as he saw her eyes what she now planned. But he had to get out of there. There was no hope for her, but there was for him. He had to survive to take care of Rose.
Rose.
She almost doubled over with the pain of that thought, as if a bullet ripped through her heart. What would her daughter think? She blinked fiercely.
Keep it together, Cassie.
She couldn’t think about the consequences now. The only way out of this was for her to leave with the Koreans. Otherwise Derrick would die too. And that she couldn’t allow. She just wished she’d had more time.
She glanced at the black water separating the two boats. Maybe they should have taken their chances swimming. The thought of the water no longer scared her. A numbness seeped into her from the skin to her core. Her thoughts were no longer frantic and her movements became sluggish. Any moment now her heart would slow. She was dying from the outside in.
“Faster,” the soldier ordered.
She exhaled, long and slow. It was an executioner’s walk ahead of her to the Zodiac. Once she made it to the naval ship, she would be tortured and then executed.
She took another step.
Where the fuck did she think she was going? Derrick cursed silently, watching Cassie walk slowly toward the edge of the boat, closer to the Zodiac and the other soldiers. She was supposed to stall for time. Not leave with the soldiers. And she sure as hell wasn’t supposed to leave him behind. What the hell was she thinking?
Then it hit him.
She was trying to save him.
He cursed again. His woman was trying to save him. And she was his. His to protect, his to save, and his to love. He’d convince her of that when they were safe. For now, he lifted his rifle to aim. His team’s ETA was one minute. It would be tight but he’d been in worse situations and his team wouldn’t let him down.
But he’d never been in a situation where the woman he loved could be caught in the crossfire. It made the escape precarious. And the only way out was more than dangerous. She was going to fight him, might even hate what he planned to do, but at least she’d be alive.
He pushed all thought aside. He needed to have the analytical calm he was known for now. He sighted down his rifle, targeted the soldier walking beside Cassie and planned his next shots. The next two closest soldiers to Cassie and then he’d move.
Just a moment more. He needed her just a bit closer to the edge. She took a step and hesitated. One more, Cassie, he thought. Please God, don’t do anything else.
She took the step and now stood right beside the railing of the boat.
He pulled the trigger. Before the first man had dropped, he’d killed the second and then the third with head shots. In his peripheral, he noticed Cassie turn toward him as he shot up the ladder. Three soldiers left on deck plus one on the Zodiac. He shot one more as he lunged across the deck. The others lifted their rifles.
Too late.
He dove at Cassie, grabbed her around the waist and plunged them both overboard into the black depths of the ocean.
21
Icy water closed over her head. Shock held her immobile for the seconds it took for her to sink farther under. What was happening?
She tried to swim to the surface, but something—no, someone—held her back.
Panic sizzled through her, frying her thoughts, and she opened her mouth. Water filled it, choking her. She thrashed against the arms holding her. Holding her too tight, binding her. She couldn’t move, couldn’t swim, couldn’t breathe.
She was drowning.
Derrick!
But it had been Derrick who’d dragged her under. Derrick, who was trying to drown her. Did he think drowning was better than being tortured? He held her and pulled her farther under. Her lungs screamed for air. She couldn’t see anything but a few twinkling lights above them. She kicked but couldn’t get Derrick to release her. Her heart pounded in her ears, each beat harder and slower than the previous.
She was fading.
Why was he doing this?
The hull of the fishing boat scraped her arm and she reached out for it, dragging her fingers along the wood but finding no purchase. Derrick pulled her under it. The strength seeped out of her limbs and a lassitude crept in. The pressure in her lungs dwindled.
She was dying.
She hadn’t wanted Derrick to die with her. It had been why she’d chosen to leave him behind, so he could live, but apparently he wanted to die together. She couldn’t seem to summon any anger over that, or any feeling at all except a simple curiosity. Too much had happened over the last few days. She no longer fought but just held on to Derrick in this upside-down cold blackness surrounding them.
Lights appeared in the distance. Dim lights. Were they above or below?
Derrick pulled her toward them. The lights moved straight to them, still below the surface. She no longer resisted. The shapes became larger.
Too large for fish.
It was only when they were surrounded that she recognized the shapes.
Scuba divers. Derrick’s team.
Each one held onto what looked like a torpedo with a propeller that pulled them through the water. She didn’t even feel surprised as she floated in the darkness. Lack of oxygen had made everything surreal.
Two divers broke away and came toward them with oxygen tanks. Derrick grabbed one and with the light from the other divers, she could see him motion for her to exhale. She frowned and did, the remaining bubbles of air floating up. He pushed the regulator into her mouth, before pressing the purge button. Within seconds, she breathed.
Breathed.
The air tasted stale but it shocked her system and she drew heavy, gasping breaths off the regulator.
She breathed.
Her emotions still felt dampened and numb. The cold water was affecting her. Even with air, she wouldn’t survive long. They wouldn’t survive long, but she didn’t worry. These elite soldiers wouldn’t let them succumb to hypothermia. Their ship had to be nearby.
Derrick took the next regulator offered. He strapped the tank on his back while another diver did the same to her. A diver motioned for her to take hold of his propeller tank. Derrick snagged her around the waist and pulled her close while he gripped the machine. The diver waved acknowledgment, before swimming to another teammate to double up with.
Derrick showed her hand grips, but continued to hug her close while the propeller pulled them through the dark, cold water and to safety.
Derrick breathed too fast and too hard through his regulator. He’d snagged a mask from Dante that let him clearly see his team around them as he steered the DPV. Water rushed by, draining their heat. Thankfully, it wasn’t far to international waters, where they could surface safely. Diver p
ropulsion vehicles were an excellent way to infil a combat team into enemy territory, but they did nothing to keep them warm.
Fuck, this had been one of the most excruciating water exfils he’d ever done. He couldn’t wait for it to be over. The minute under the Korean fishing boat in the cold water, clutching a struggling Cass, had been one of the longest in his life. He’d counted on his team being in place and the moments it had taken them to come had been agonizing. He’d hated that he couldn’t tell Cassie not to breathe in, to just hold on, that help was coming. And when she’d stopped fighting him, he’d almost given in and swam for the surface.
His heart started pounding just thinking about it and he hugged her closer. He understood her running out of air and going limp in his arms underwater—that wasn’t her giving up, that was her body reaching its limits. But she had given up on the fishing boat. Anger swam to the surface inside him. She’d been going with the Koreans when he’d dragged her off the ship.
He shifted her in his arms. What the fuck had she been thinking?
It wasn’t long before his team slowed and made for the surface. When they reached it, he spit out his regulator and dragged in a long breath of fresh air. Beside him, Cassie did the same thing.
His team pulled themselves and their DPVs onto the Zodiac. Two of them turned and pulled Cassie from his arms and into the small boat. The boat began to move even as he pulled himself in. The wind ripped at them, pulling away any heat he had left. Marc threw a blanket at him and then carefully wrapped another one around Cassie’s shoulders. She looked like a wet kitten, wide-eyed and shivering in the dark.
But thank you, Jesus, she was alive.
He was so fucking grateful she was alive. He pulled her close, wrapping his blanket around both of them. He didn’t give a damn about the small smiles he saw on his team. He didn’t give a shit who saw him caring for this woman. She was his.
He couldn’t speak at the moment, his chest too tight with an odd mixture of anger and relief. Lights of an aircraft carrier appeared in the distance.
“ETA two mikes, Hawk,” Dante said.
He acknowledged with a nod before he murmured to Cass, “Are you okay?” His voice came out a growled demand and she stiffened. Damn. He’d let his anger slip. Where was his control?
“Are we safe?” she asked.
He wasn’t sure how to answer that. DPRK had a long reach and the ruling leader didn’t take kindly to anyone criticizing the country. The North Koreans would find out Cassie was alive and when that happened, she would be in danger again.
But Cassie held herself too taut and brittle in his arms, a fragile ice layer shielding her, but he could see the cracks. Now wasn’t the time to confront her about the continued threat or about how she’d given herself up. He’d wait until they were alone.
“Yes,” he said, keeping his emotions in check. “We’re in international waters. Those lights are our ship.”
Her breath caught and she ducked her face down. She convulsed once and his arm tightened around her as she fought hard not to cry. She straightened and lifted her chin, blinking hard. His heart ached for what she’d been through.
He didn’t blame her for not wanting to cry in front of the others, but he knew an emotional reckoning was coming. This was something he’d seen in soldiers and civilians alike. They would hold the stress at bay while going through a traumatic experience, but as soon as they were safe, they broke down, releasing everything that had built up. Personally, he planned a meeting with a punching bag and then a sparring session with Dante, one of the best close combat fighters in the unit. This mission had left him too much on edge.
On board the ship, medics hurried forward to meet them, quickly separating him from Cassie and hustling her off to the infirmary to check her out. He resisted when they tried to herd him. He’d grab some food and a shower while the medics looked over Cassie, but once she was done, it would be time for them to talk. And maybe she could explain what the hell she’d been thinking on the fishing boat.
Because this wasn’t over and he needed to know she wouldn’t give up again.
Cassie stood still while the medic finished checking her over. Her body ached more now than it had in the previous days. The stress of everything was catching up with her. That had to be why she’d fallen apart in Derrick’s arms earlier. Just the thought brought too many emotions welling up from a dark place deep inside her.
No. She had too many things to do. She couldn’t break yet.
“Where’s my phone?” she asked the medic.
He brought her soggy daypack over. It had been the only thing that had survived their trip. “Colonel Blackwell thought you might want this. Though I think any phone in there is toast.”
She sighed. “I have to call my daughter.”
“I’ll get you a sat phone.” He left her for a few minutes and she used the time to take inventory of her pack. The sat phone was indeed dead. The camera wouldn’t turn on either, but the memory card would be intact.
She had the pictures she needed for her story. For a moment, Jin-sun’s face appeared in her mind and of the last picture she’d taken, of him lying dead at her feet. She would do Jin-sun and the rest of the prisoners justice and write the best damn article she could when she got home.
The medic came back in, carrying a sleek, small phone. “What’s the number?”
She told him and he handed it to her after tapping it in.
“Hello?” Rose answered.
“Sweetie?” Her voice hitched.
“Mom?”
She swallowed hard at the quiver in her daughter’s voice and took a deep breath. She was going to end up scaring Rose if she started bawling. “It’s me, Rose. I’m okay. I’m safe.”
“Derrick said he’d get you home safe,” she said. “I was so scared, Mom.”
“I’m sorry, Rose. I’m safe now.”
“When will you be home?”
She looked at the medic. “When will I be home?”
“You’ll have to debrief, but they’ll fly you to Germany tomorrow and then home. Two days. Three tops.”
She spoke into the phone. “Three days at most. I’m on my way, honey. I love you. Tell your grandmother I’m okay and that I’ll be home soon.”
After a few more minutes of reassurance on both their parts, she reluctantly hung up with her daughter.
Exhaustion dragged at her as a medic showed her to a small private room on board the massive ship. It had its own bathroom and shower, for which she was grateful. It didn’t matter how tired she was—she just wanted to be clean.
The room wasn’t large but it had enough luxury for her: a soft bed, a small desk, and a locker to store her clothes and pack. And of course, the shower.
She turned the water on hot and stripped out of the borrowed Navy sweats. She pushed away memories the sounds of water splashing brought her and stepped into the luxury she’d never take for granted again. The heat soothed her aching muscles, while washing her hair and body helped strip away the realness of the nightmare she’d lived. But her heart pounded each time water splashed into her mouth when she forgot to close it. She shut off the water as soon as she was clean, unable to fully appreciate the water streaming over her. How long would the memories haunt her?
She dried, dressed, and had barely sat on the bed when someone rapped on the door. She pulled it open to see Derrick. He’d already showered and had his wet hair brushed back. He wore a long-sleeved black t-shirt, black combat pants, and boots. He looked fresh, dark, and dangerous.
“We need to talk,” he growled.
Her senses went on alert. “Okay.”
“What the fuck were you thinking?”
Her mouth dropped open. “What are you talking about?”
He stepped into the room, crowding it with his overwhelming presence. “You basically threw yourself at the enemy without fighting.”
She gasped. She had fought hard to survive the whole time. “That’s not true.”
“At
the end, you were letting them walk you off the boat,” he yelled. “If I hadn’t started shooting, they would have captured you. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I was saving your life.”
“Saving me?” He laughed harshly. “How?”
“You arrogant ass,” she hissed. “They were going to find you. I was trying to get the soldiers away from you.”
He stepped closer, backing her up against the wall, his face a thundercloud. “I am a fucking soldier. My job is to protect civilians and that means you, not the other way around.”
She shoved at him, but he didn’t move, just trapped her hands with his. She yanked but he didn’t let go.
“No,” he said. “You’re going to listen to me. This is what I do. I protect people. All you had to do was trust me and follow orders.”
“Fuck you and your orders.” She screamed her frustration at him. All the emotions of the past days bubbled up, a simmering sludge of fear and fury.
He leaned against her, trapping her with his hard body. He pulled her arms up and over her head. Each breath rubbed her chest against his.
“Promise me you’ll trust me,” he said, his voice ragged and growing softer. “Promise me you’ll let me protect you.”
“I can’t,” she said, just as soft. Her skin grew hot. “You might not be there.” It broke something in her to say those words. She’d come to rely on him, but he would leave her again. Like he had before.
“And I promise you I will be. I’ll always be there for you.”
She wanted to believe so badly. Her heart urged her to, even if only for tonight. She tilted her head so their lips could touch, encouraging him without words.
With a groan, his mouth came down on hers. The kiss electrified her, sending currents of pleasure through her. She shivered with need as he nibbled and sucked at her lips. A moan welled out of her.
He pulled back slightly. “It’s too soon. I don’t want to hurt you.” But his hands told a different story, one keeping her arms trapped above her head, while the other caressed down her side.
