by AnDerecco
JACOB
OK cool. I will read it when we come from visiting the minister.
KARELL
You are doing that today?
JACOB
Yes.
KARELL
OK well go back to sleep. Herb and I will be down this evening.
JACOB
Ok we will see you then.
LVIII
Dennis and Jacob drove to St. James Episcopal Church where Bishop William Blake presides. His secretary directed them to him office and he greeted them with warm handshakes. He instructed them to have a seat.
BISHOP BLAKE
It is nice to meet you. Kathy told me that you would be coming by. So I hear that you two a getting married.
DENNIS
Yes sir we are.
BISHOP BLAKE
Go ahead have a seat.
JACOB
Thank you.
BISHOP BLAKE
Congratulations. When we decide to marry someone we first need to settle on whom a higher power wants us to marry. The details can get a bit complicated, but it sure is worth thinking through. You will, after all, be married all your living days! This decision settles who you will need to love or listen to. After deciding who one would marry, one then needs to get ready for marriage. This does not so much concern your wedding ceremony but your hearts. God has hopes that you will use this time to work out those major problems in your lives so that you will not bring pain and frustration into your marriage. We need to build our marriage as the Architect of marriage has designed. We need to spend regular time with Him to see what steps we need to take next. We need to build into our lives the necessary disciplines to implement His plans.
Now marriage is team work. Both partners are not only to enjoy getting married but also being married! Many know this but get frustrated by wrong perspectives on how marriage should work out. I will show you how. You also need to plan ahead. You can be so busy with present matters that you give little thought of the ideal or projected home that you want to build. Present pressures and desires can lure you into the wrong pathway. Keeping the final picture before you greatly helps you make the necessary decisions now to reach those plans.
JACOB
You made some very interesting points. So do you think that you can perform the ceremony on Friday?
BISHOP BLAKE
I like to do a pre marriage questionnaire before we go any further. Is that ok?
JACOB
That’s fine.
Bishop Blake pulled a form out some form from his desk. He reached into his shirt pocket and grabbed a Jack Row Architect Fountain Pen that was Sterling Silver with Black Diamonds.
BISHOP BLAKE
Now why are we getting married?
DENNIS
One, I met someone that I knew I didn’t want to live without. Two, I am ready. Three, marriage is a blessing.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think your relationship will change after we are married?
JACOB
I think that it will some. We both know that everyday will not be peaches and cream. There will be things about each other that we thought we knew. I give it the first five years to “completely” learning him. To get all the bugs out. (laughing) But if some things don’t change I don’t think that you are growing.
BISHOP BLAKE
How often do you drink?
DENNIS
Socially.
JACOB
If it is in the house he drinks. He is not an alcoholic. I, on the other hand, drink socially.
DENNIS
I am glad that we are in a church.
BISHOP BLAKE
Have you ever hit each other or anyone?
DENNIS and JACOB
No.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?
DENNIS and JACOB
Yes.
JACOB
But if temptation arises pray about it and then talk with him about it. I don’t want lust to control me.
BISHOP BLAKE
Was your family an affectionate one?
DENNIS and JACOB
Yes.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think you will have problems with your family during the holidays?
DENNIS
No. We have started our own traditions.
BISHOP BLAKE
What is your love language?
JACOB
Words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think you listen to one another well?
DENNIS
I think that I do. Jacob likes to talk more. I talk sometimes but I am more of a listener.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think it is important to know one another's physical and mental health histories?
JACOB
Yes!
BISHOP BLAKE
Will you clean the toilet?
DENNIS
I am the house cleaner.
JACOB
I wash the clothes and dishes. We both mow but he is the flower planter.
DENNIS (leaning over to Jacob)
That sounds like you are saying something else.
JACOB
Get your mind out of the gutter.
BISHOP BLAKE
How do you want to spend our days off?
JACOB
It varies. Reading, relaxing, sight-seeing, cleaning around the house.
BISHOP BLAKE
What are your expectations about how you will spend our free time?
JACOB
We both like to travel. But I would rather plan the trip ahead. He is more spontaneous.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you believe that you should be doing everything together?
DENNIS and JACOB
No.
BISHOP BLAKE
Can you each pursue each own interests?
DENNIS and JACOB
Yes.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you need time alone?
JACOB
Yes!
BISHOP BLAKE
How would you feel if one of you wants a night out with your friends every now and then?
DENNIS
That would be ok. You need some time apart.
JACOB
As long as you have trust and respect each other. That would be alright.
BISHOP BLAKE
How will you make sure that you have quality time together?
JACOB
Date night. We will make sure that nothing interferes with that set date.
BISHOP BLAKE
How much time will you spend with your in-laws?
DENNIS
We will visit. Birthdays, church events, phone calls, texts.
BISHOP BLAKE
Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
DENNIS
Both. That we need to work on.
BISHOP BLAKE
Should you have a joint checking account or separate accounts or both?
JACOB
Both.
BISHOP BLAKE
Why?
JACOB
I feel that we should have a house account for vacations, repairs around the house, and things like that. Separate accounts for when I want to buy him a gift I don’t want him to get the statement and be like “Oh that’s how much that cost?”
BISHOP BLAKE
Who is going to be responsible for making sure that bills are paid on time?
JACOB
I am. I like to write them out in a monthly tablet. But we both will pay certain household bills.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury?
DENNIS
Both.
BISHOP BLAKE
What are your future plans for purchasing a home?
JACOB
We have a house together
now.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you both know where your important financial documents are located?
JACOB
Yes.
BISHOP BLAKE
Dennis what about you? What if something happens?
DENNIS
I will work on that.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you want to have children?
JACOB
I have a daughter.
BISHOP BLAKE
And you Dennis?
DENNIS
No. His daughter is mine.
BISHOP BLAKE
Does religion play an important part in your lives?
DENNIS and JACOB
Yes.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think faith and spirituality are important in a marriage?
JACOB
Most definitely.
BISHOP BLAKE
Should we talk about sex?
JACOB
OK.
BISHOP BLAKE
Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes?
DENNIS
I prefer for us to talk about that privately.
JACOB
I can openly talk to him about what I like but he is so conservative. He acts as though it is something that you don’t talk about.
BISHOP BLAKE
What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?
JACOB
Try new things. No ménage trois or anything like that but different places of the house. More than two times a month. At least twice a week.
DENNIS (turning to Jacob and grabbing his hand)
Can we talk about THAT later?
BISHOP BLAKE
How will you make decisions together?
JACOB
Compromise. I know what he likes and he knows what I like. If we encounter something that either one of us don’t like then we will talk about it.
BISHOP BLAKE
Are you both willing to face into difficult areas or do you try to avoid conflict?
JACOB
Face it head on. No point in avoiding it because it can grow into something dangerous.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you think you have problems in your relationship that we need to deal with before your wedding?
Turning and looking at each other.
JACOB
Um. No. None that I can think of.
BISHOP BLAKE
Do you handle conflict well?
DENNIS
Yes.
BISHOP BLAKE
Can you both forgive?
DENNIS and JACOB
Yes.
BISHOP BLAKE
Are you both willing to work on your communication skills and to share intimately with each other?
JACOB
I have no problem communicating. I would like for him to share more. But I won’t force him to if he doesn’t want to.
DENNIS
I have a question for you.
BISHOP BLAKE
Go ahead.
DENNIS
How do you feel officiating a same sex marriage?
BISHOP BLAKE
I have no problem with it. Some ministers do. If you were to read Romans 1:26-27 one of the second most used scriptures by people who are trying to prove that God disproves of all homosexuality. But if you will read the entire chapter of Romans chapter one you will get a little more insight. Paul is speaking about some very specific people here. And it’s not the same gender loving committed monogamous person. He is speaking about a people who were making idols and images out of materials that were suppose to “look like human beings and birds and animals and reptiles.” Were there men throughout Rome in that time that were leaving or stepping outside of their sexual orientation? Definitely! As Paul was describing these idol worshippers in this passage, you see EXACTLY who he was referring to.
Many gays and lesbians do the exact same thing on a daily basis when they have sex with the opposite gender in order to be accepted by society or religion. Regardless who is doing it, Paul condemns this act of stepping outside of or turning away from one’s “inborn sexuality” for ANY reason.
Is it wrong for a straight man to have sex with a woman? No, if they are married. Is it wrong for a straight man to have sex with another man? Yes, according to this scripture if he were born straight.
Is it wrong for a gay man to have sex with another man? No, if they are married. Is it wrong for a gay man to have sex with a woman? Yes, if he was born gay.
Is it wrong for a straight woman to have sex with a woman? Yes, if she were born straight. Is it wrong for a straight woman to have sex with a man? No, if they are married.
Is it wrong for a lesbian to have sex with a woman? No, if they are married. Is it wrong for a lesbian to have sex with a man? Yes, if she were born lesbian.
Romans make this very clear. It is very important to pay attention to HOW God created us, so we know how we are to operate sexually. If we try to operate outside of what God has created us to be, then we always go wrong. God made you WHO you are. Be proud of who God made YOU.
Some people will refer to 1st Corinthian 6:9 and 1st Timothy 1:10 in saying that all homosexual relationships are condemned by scripture. If that were true, then by all means, every homosexual should repent of their homosexuality and try to be straight. As much as many main stream pastors and well meaning Christians would like that, we need to see exactly what the Apostle Paul was referring to here in these verses.
In both of these scriptures, the word that the translators translated as either “men who have sex with men” or “those practicing homosexuality” is the same word in the Greek. It is the word “arsenokoites”. This word is only used twice in the bible (in these two passages). It is a rare term, which some people have had a hard time translating, but it is really very simple.
It’s made up of two words. The first is “arseno”, which simply means male/man. The second is “koites” which is the plural form of “koita” which means bed of sexual intercourse. So, if a person has sex on a bed of sexual intercourse with a person, a person who has MANY BEDS of sexual intercourse is having MANY sexual partners. In today’s vernacular, this would be someone who is promiscuous.
An arsenokoites could be straight or gay. There are many straight promiscuous men, as well as gay promiscuous men. The sin is the promiscuity as described here. The important thing is not whether you are gay or straight, but how you use, or don’t use your sexuality. The bible is clear that we are to not have sex outside of the confines of life-long covenant.
As you can see, if you look it up for yourself, “arsenokoitus” (which is used in these two scriptures) are simply promiscuous people who have sex outside the confines of marriage/covenant. Mystery solved.
DENNIS
Well alright then. I see that you have really researched this.
BISHOP BLAKE
In my line of work you have to read and dissect it.
JACOB
I truly understand. We will be practicing on Thursday night. The ceremony will be Saturday at 2:30.
Bishop Blake stood and gave Jacob and Dennis hugs and well wishes. He told them that he would see them Thursday night.
LIX
Aretha and Monique were walking along the beach sipping a smoothie. She looked over at Monique and smiled.
MONIQUE
Why are you smiling at me?
ARETHA
Just happy to see that you have grown into a great young lady.
MONIQUE
With you help of course.
ARETHA
Of course. How do you feel now that we know Ellis is alive?
MONIQUE
At first I was really upset with him, Pops, you…everyone.
ARETHA
Why me?
MONQIUE
Because I felt like you all knew and didn’t tell me.
ARETHA
Baby when I found out I was shocked. I remember when it happene
d.
MONIQUE
But you had a funeral and everything.
ARETHA
No, we had a graveside service. There never was a casket. Which I thought was strange. Your Pops was in the hospital recovering from his surgery and Ellis’ sister took over everything.
MONIQUE
So you all sat around an open hole in the ground.
ARETHA
No. His body was flown back to Arizona to be buried beside his mother. She had a headstone place there in Alabama in remembrance of him because that is where he and Jacob lived.
MONIQUE
Things that make you go….hummmmmmm!
ARETHA
Right. But I knew she was crazy when I first met her.
MONIQUE
Stop it!
ARETHA
I am serious. Sitting there all prim and proper. She wore white when everyone else was TOLD to make sure to wear black.
MONIQUE
I never met her.
ARETHA
You ain’t missed anything.
Aretha and Monique continued to talk. Aretha looked down at her watch and notice that it was almost time for the wedding rehearsal.
MONIQUE
Is Tony coming to the wedding?
ARETHA
I am not sure he said that he had to finish some work before leaving New Orleans.
LX
At the venue Dennis and Herb stood in the front beside Bishop Blake. Jacob and Karell were standing the in back waiting to walk down the aisle.
JACOB (yelling to the front)
Can I be honest about something before we start?
KARELL
Chile you can’t back out now. I paid for my tux.
JACOB
Boy hush.
KATHY (rushing to the back)
Is something wrong?
JACOB
I really don’t want to walk down an aisle. I would rather walk in from the side when Ellis and Herb walks in.
KATHY
OK that is fine. But what if they walk in first, from the side there and then you walk in with Karell. (Turning to Karell) Karell, right?
KARELL (smiling and pinching Jacob in the back. Jacob was trying to ignore the pain)
That’s correct.
KATHY
What do you think about that?
JACOB
That’s better. But this walking down the aisle is not for me.
Kathy walks back to the front with her clipboard.
KATHY
OK everyone, we have made a little change. Instead of Jacob walking in from the back he will enter from this side. So come on up you two.
