by Vivian Lux
But now, as we zoomed through the night, bouncing along the bottom of New York State in Cal's pickup, I started to have second thoughts. Harper had put it out in no uncertain terms exactly why she was heading back to New York City. The career, the one she'd always been wanting, was finally coming true. Of course we had to let her leave, wasn’t that what being there for her was all about? Wasn't this all about her to begin with?
As I looked out the window, into the inky black darkness of the Southern Tier, I felt my fist closing, my fingernails digging half moons into the side of my palm. "We said this is about her, didn't we?" I suddenly burst out.
Cal sort of jumped, like I'd caught him thinking. I looked over at him to see that his shoulders were nearly to his ears. "What?" I asked.
"Yeah. I guess we did, didn't we?" Cal said slowly.
"No," I said, heading him off at the pass. "I'm not talking about that. Because yeah, fuck that dude, I'm not into you that way.
"Thank fuck for that," Cal said, grinning. "You're not my type."
I rolled my eyes. "I was going to ask though, isn't this sort of about us too, in a way?"
"What do you mean? Are you coming on to me, man? I'm flattered and all..."
"Oh shut up for a second and let me finish," I complained. "I’m trying to figure shit out too here." Cal opened his mouth like he was about to give me even more shit, but mercifully fell silent and started listening as I tried like hell to form my thoughts into words. "What I'm saying is we started something here right? You and me and her. It's a two-way street... though I guess in this case it's more like a three-way street... but still, we said it's about her. But it's not only what she wants, it's what we want too, isn't it?" I was actually honestly asking this question. "Isn't it?"
"And what the fuck do we want?" Cal asked.
I spread my hands helplessly. "Her?"
Cal tapped his fingers on the steering wheel a second as he processed this, and then cleared his throat. "You mean, for like a girlfriend or something?"
I nodded. "Don't pretend you're not thinking the same thing," I told him.
"But like, we...share her or something?"
"We share bath towels right now, right?" I felt the need to point out.
Cal made a grossed-out sound. "Yeah and you never pick yours off the bathroom floor."
"Well I promise if we have to share Harper, I'll treat her a little better than a bath towel," I replied snottily.
"And I'll treat her better than you," Cal replied, equally snottily.
I looked at him. "So is this why we're driving down to New York City? To see if she'll be like... our long-distance girlfriend or some shit?"
"Or some shit," Cal repeated. "I don't know. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about her and I know you can't either, so we gotta go see her."
I nodded into the darkness. "Yeah," I said softly. "We gotta go see her."
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Harper
I was never one of those "thank God it's Friday" people. Mostly because I spent my weekends catching up on work that had piled up during the week. But more than that, I liked my job, so it didn't really make me excited that I was getting a break from it.
Except today.
Fuck today. Thank God it was fucking Friday because otherwise I might actually die.
The conference room was overheated, that was the first problem. The air had that strange, nostril-tingling overheated electrical smell and the air was heavy with static electricity. I looked over at Cecily and noticed that three errant hairs had escaped from her perfectly arranged bob, standing upright to dance crazily above her head. I made a mental note not to let her touch me until she shocked someone else. Then I smiled as I remembered how Everett used to scuff his feet across the carpet and force me to touch his finger. One time we did it in the dark and both jumped when we saw the blue spark flash. It hurt, but I'd been convinced I gained super powers at that moment, and went outside to try to jump off the roof, ready to fly. Cal had convinced me to at least aim my flight towards the snowdrift that had gathered on the leeward side of the house, so I'd flung myself over that way and ended up landing directly on top of Grayson as he was trying to sled down the hill.
I shook my head and sat up straighter, realizing that the room had gone suddenly silent. Feeling like a kid caught not paying attention in class, I straightened up and smiled, catching Cecily's glare out of the corner of my eye.
"Yes, I think that would work just fine for us," Cecily said smoothly. I nodded along with her, wondering what I had just agreed to.
Everyone around me started talking again, and I blinked rapidly, trying to focus. Did they want me to talk too? Was I supposed to be contributing right now? Why did I not know what was happening...at all?
Maybe it was the strangeness of the situation. That's what I told myself anyway, sitting here in the middle of the TV executive board room, listening to them hammer out the details of how to bring my work to life on the screen. Yeah, that was surreal. Maybe that was why their voices kept fading in and out, why everything suddenly started spiraling around and around. I felt so damn dizzy.
There was a sharp crack against my ankles. I looked up to see Cecily, smiling brightly and nodding, prompting me. "Could you repeat that?" I said.
The gray bearded executive leaned forward and repeated his question, but once again I had no idea what he said. In fact, it didn't even sound like English. The dizziness increased and I pressed my palms against the table. "Excuse me," I said, standing up swiftly. If I didn't make it to the bathroom right now, I was going to vomit across this glass top table.
I rushed out into the hallway and took a wild guess as to which way the restroom was. I ran almost blindly, praying to whatever God of fashion there was that I wouldn't twist my ankle on my stiletto heel and send myself sprawling across the floor.
Although lying down actually sounded like a pretty good option right now.
I pushed my way into the bathroom. It was spotless, all white subway tile and gleaming chrome. I felt like I had landed in some alien mothership, and with how everything was swirling around in an unreal haze, I may as well have.
Quick as it came, the dizzy spell passed. I leaned forward and rested my head against the cool tile, taking deep breaths.
The door slammed open and I twisted slightly to see Cecily standing there, her smile a menacing grimace.
"Here you are," she said evenly, dangerously. "I was wondering when you planned to stop blowing it in there."
I pushed back from the wall. "I'm sorry, I didn't feel well there for a moment."
"You're supposed to be working on convincing them of your wholesome brand," Cecily said, reaching for some paper towels and running them under the tap. She pressed the damp cloths into my hand. "Pull yourself together," she ordered me. "You're acting like a fucking weirdo. Are you on drugs?"
I straightened up. "Of course I'm not on drugs," I laughed.
"Then snap out of it," she hissed.
I nodded, dutifully dabbing the paper towel under my eyes, careful not to mess my makeup any further. Then I slid it down to press against my mouth and all at once, a thought came unbidden.
The memory of New Year's night and being on my knees with two cocks in my hand.
The laughter bubbled up in my chest and suddenly burst out of my mouth. Cecily watched, horrified, as I dissolved into helpless laughter, slumping against the tile again. I pressed the heel of my hand against my forehead. "I have to go," I said. "I'm sorry, but I have to go right now." I knew her face was contorted into a mask of shocked rage, but I barely even registered it as I pushed my way out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Callum
"Relax dude, you're going to give yourself an aneurysm."
I pounded my hand against the horn and the blaring sound set my jangling nerves on edge. "Fucking hell, move!" I seethed.
Gray was watching me closely. I didn't need to look at him to feel the tension in the air. Afte
r driving for six hours through the night, the early morning sky was just starting to lighten and we were at a dead stop on the West Side Highway.
"There are too many goddamned people in this city," I said for what had to be the millionth time.
Gray sucked air against his teeth and shifted. I leaned forward and then back again, hunching my shoulders up to my ears. "This drive should have taken five hours," I ranted. "We should have been at her place an hour ago. We should be parked already and up in her apartment or penthouse or loft or...whatever she has..."
"Apartment," Gray interjected quietly.
"Whatever!" I exploded. "The GPS said five hours when we left. Now it's been, what?" I tapped the clock in the dash. "Going on seven? Seven hours? We haven't even left the fucking state! Fucking move!" I laid on the horn again.
"Yo," Gray said, still quiet as anything. I'd never heard him so quiet. The dude was the loudest fucker on the planet, always slamming doors and stomping around like a one-man herd of elephants. But this whole ride he'd been eerily quiet. And at the moment, as I inched forward a fraction of a centimeter closer to the taillights of the truck spewing diesel into my face, it was really starting to piss me the fuck off.
"What?" I exploded. "What are you being so fucking stoic and quiet about over there? This sucks!"
"Yeah," he sighed. "Sure does."
"So why aren't you upset?"
He pressed his lips together like he was about to say something and then caught it at the last minute. "We're gonna see Harper," he finally said in a rush of breath.
I closed my fist and then opened it again. He was right of course. He was fucking right, we were going to see Harper and I should be excited and happy, just like he was. He loved her, it was written all over his face, that dopey half-smile, that unfocused gaze.
He loved her.
And I did too.
And that was...cool?
Whatever this thing was that the three of us had stumbled on, it was enough to put a dopey smile on my face too, traffic be damned. The idea that we were going to see her again, surprise her, in her element, well, it just made me happy.
I slumped back against my seat. Gray shot me a knowing look. "Yeah, did you forget or something?"
I let off the brake and we rolled forward a whole five feet. "Nah. I mean, maybe I lost sight of it for a sec."
"You're not good at thinking about the future."
"That's pretty rich coming from the guy who's renting a room in my house for beer money."
"Dude, don't be an asshole."
"Sorry," I sighed.
"Seriously, why the fuck are you being so prickly? And don't tell me it's because of traffic because this is like the first traffic jam your yokel ass has ever been in. It should be a novelty." I rolled my eyes heavenward, but he caught me and pointed. "And don't tell me it's because you're tired because you never fucking sleep. You're like a vampire or something, always shuffling around at night and waking me the fuck up."
"I got shit to do."
"At three in the morning?"
I looked down at my hands. "That's when it's quietest so I can think."
"Yeah well, us normal people are sleeping then."
"And snoring like a fucking warthog," I reminded him.
He grinned. "Harper doesn't seem to mind."
I looked forward. "So we're doing this, Gray? Is she like...do you want her as your girlfriend?"
"Damn straight I do. Even if it has to be long distance, I don't give a fuck. I don't have a job. I'll make that shit work."
I nodded. "Yeah fine, but like, at the same time, she's...my girlfriend?"
"Think you'd better ask her that."
"Fuck you, I'm serious. You're cool with...sharing?"
"This is kind of like locking the barn door after the horse bolted about two weeks ago, Cal."
I rolled my eyes again. The traffic was easing inexplicably and I felt my heart unclench as the speedometer crept up to five, then ten, then a whole twenty-five miles an hour. "Yeah, we shared her that way. But I mean other ways."
"Like...how?"
"Haven't you ever had a fucking girlfriend before, you shallow fuck?"
Out of the corner of my eye I could see him pursing his lips in thought. "What was Annie Watkins?"
"She was a stalker who was obsessed with you in junior year of high school who you slept with for some stupid reason."
"Availability," Gray sighed. "Okay what about Helen?"
"You're talking about Helen Coyman? Our biology teacher? You slept with her?"
"I told you I did."
"I thought you were lying because we were all obsessed with her sweaters and how she never wore a bra."
I could practically hear him grinning. "She knew a lot about biology, and she was a hell of a teacher, that's all I'll say."
"Gross dude."
"Well she was a girlfriend...sort of..."
"What did you do besides fucking?"
"She, um...tutored me."
"I don't think Harper is interested in tutoring you."
"Huh. Okay well Mr. Relationship-Pro. What the fuck are you trying to get at here?"
I took a deep breath as the GPS chimed in with our turn. We were only a half mile from Harper's. We needed to get this shit sorted before we showed up at her door looking like a couple of idiots. "Like, dating. Going out to dinner and shit. Do we...all go? Take turns? How about if one of us is alone with her? What happens then?"
Gray was silent for far longer than I expected. When he finally took a deep breath, I had literally no idea what was about to fall out of his mouth...
Especially not what he actually ended up saying.
"I think you're trying to control something that's not in your control, Cal," Gray said slowly. "You tend to do that, dude. You want everything spelled out for you from the get-go. You're a control freak and that's fine and usually I just let you do your thing, but I'm sorry man. I gotta put a damper on this. You're asking me to define terms about Harper...without Harper being here."
I felt my stomach slide downward and twist into a knot. "Well shit, when you put it that way, I sound like an asshole."
"You are an asshole. But you're a smart asshole too, you'll figure it out. We all will. Hey, there's a spot, right there!"
He wasn't kidding. A Jetta was miraculously just sliding out of a legal place to park on the street just as we turned down Harper's tiny, too narrow block.
"I'm shit at parallel parking," I confessed.
"I haven't done it since my driver's test," Gray said, nodding.
"And I'm driving a huge fuck-you pick-up."
"This'll be interesting. Should I just close my eyes and duck?"
I shrugged. "Might be smart." I threw it into reverse, narrowly escaped clipping the bumper of the car in front of me, rolled right up onto the curb and the plopped back down with a bone-rattling thud when I straightened out the wheel.
Gray was looking a little sea sick. "Good job," he muttered.
"Yeah." I leaned over and looked up at Harper's neat little building. "I have a feeling that was the easy part."
Chapter Thirty
Grayson
I swung my legs down to the curb, wincing at the pins and needles that ran along my legs. Taking a deep breath, I looked over to where Cal was stretching by the hood of the truck.
We'd just hammered some shit out, yeah. But that didn't stop me from breaking out into a run.
"You fucking..." he swore as I blew past him, racing him to be the first at her front door. "Idiot! You don't even know which one is her place!"
I slowed to a halt. He was right. "Dammit," I exhaled, leaning over. "And I suppose you're not going to show me?"
Cal grinned his control freak grin and waved his phone in my face. I snatched at it, but he yanked it away. "Ha!" he yelled, dancing backward. "What are you gonna do now?"
"Kick your ass?" I promised, ducking for the dive tackle.
"Hey!" a voice came from above. Cal and I both
looked around for a second like God himself was speaking from the heavens, but it turned out to be an Indian guy on the fifth floor of the building in front of us. "Keep it down!"
"Aren't they used to people fighting on the streets in New York?" I wondered as Cal called up his apologies. "It's loud as fuck, here."
And it was. At this hour in Reckless Falls, the only noise would be the cawing of crows and maybe the sound of the wind through the bare trees. Here the sheer volume felt like an assault on my senses. "How the heck does Harper get any sleep?" I wondered aloud.
"She's probably sleeping right now," Cal added. "It's Saturday morning. She might have been out last night."
I definitely did not like the twinge of jealousy I felt at that. "You think she went out with someone else?"
Cal's lips twisted into a snarl and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. "You wanna go find out?" he asked turning towards one of the low brick buildings.
"Yeah, and kick his ass," I muttered, following him. He walked up the concrete steps and then paused for a second before opening the first door into some kind of atrium. He pulled on the second door that led into the lobby of the building and then stopped.
"Well that makes sense," he chuckled.
"What's that?"
"It's locked," he said. "So random guys like us can't come wandering into people's houses.
I looked around and noticed a bank of names on the wall. "Here's the call buttons," I told him, then stopped. "Do we just...buzz her?"
"I guess, yeah."
"What do we say?"
"Are you starting to freak out on me?"
I was, but I definitely didn't want to admit it. "It's just, she's not expecting us."
"It'll be a fun surprise."
"What if she doesn't want to see us?"
Cal's face darkened. "Then we'll make it worth her while."
I sucked in a deep breath. "Fuck yeah,” I said, and turned to press the button.
I heard a muted beep and then the speaker came on with a hiss. "What the hell?" came a tinny voice.
