by Dani Hoots
“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he said, his thumb stroking my hand. “I would never hurt you, okay? This doesn’t change anything, I would be a killer either way. How does this make me any different than the gang leader you knew?”
He had a point, he still killed the people he would have killed as a gang leader. It actually explained a lot, sleeping during the day, how smart and quick witted he was, why he couldn’t take too much seriously. All the pieces were beginning to make sense. “It doesn’t.”
He placed his hand in mine. “Now that’s what I wanted to hear. Why don’t you get ready for supper. I brought a special treat.” I stared at him, a little wide-eyed. He sighed. “No, it’s not a body.”
“I knew that, just wanted to make sure.”
“Good,” he said. I started to get up. “Oh, and Anne?”
I turned back to him to find his face dark.
“A deal is a deal, you promised to serve me until I decide otherwise. With this information, I can’t ever let you go. No one knows the truth except the four of us that are in this house. If you tell anyone, I will kill you and if you try to run, I will kill you. Do we have an understanding?”
I nodded slowly. He smiled, back to his cheery self. He was always good at that, which made him even the more frightening. “Good, now go get ready for supper.”
I thought before that there was no turning back. It wasn’t until that moment did I truly understand what no turning back was.
A couple of days went by and the four of us stayed in the house together. I didn’t say much, still not quite sure as to how I should react to all of this. I gathered I should be afraid or scared for my life, but it actually felt good to me. It was interesting, it was an adventure. Nothing was as it seemed anymore and I wanted to learn more. Maybe that was why I didn’t talk much, because I knew the way I responded wasn’t normal, or maybe I was still processing everything and how exactly I fit in to the equation. I just knew I had nothing to worry about being around Brian. No one could hurt me, other than Brian of course. But even then, I had received more pain growing up than Brian ever had given me thus far. I regretted ever thinking that.
I started to feel more comfortable around Brian. I started to see him as a friend, as someone who actually cared about me. And, I hoped, he saw me the same way…
It wasn’t until late one night when I awoke to the sound of a violin playing. I followed the music down the stairs and into the parlor. I was surprised to find Brian playing the wonderful music. I didn’t think he was someone who would be good at music. I watched and listened. He was playing Mary, Young and Fair. His back was to me and he didn’t know I was standing there. I smiled as I listened, knowing he thought he was only playing for himself. Some of the most wonderful music is often played alone.
Quietly, I took a seat at the piano and followed the music as he played. As I started, he paused and turned to me. He just smiled and started playing again as I played along. The song was beautiful, definitely one of my favorites. It had an up beat melody to it but you could also hear the love that the composer had for the girl. It was all too sweet.
At the end of the song, Brian took the violin away from his chin. “You play the piano?”
“Ever since I was little, yes. My parents would leave me at the neighbors and she would teach me. No one ever knew in my family, but when I was older I would sneak over and get lessons. Luckily I never did get caught.”
Brian laughed at my rebellion towards my family. “That’s brilliant. What other songs do you know?”
“Anything you have sheet music for I can play. I just happened to know the song you were playing by heart.”
He opened up a chest and pulled out some sheet music. “Do you mind? I haven’t had someone play this piano in a very long time.”
I looked at the sheet. Home Sweet Home. I started playing it without asking as to why he wanted that song. He sat down next to me and listened, his eyes following the sheet music. After I finished, he would say again. This went on for at least thirty minutes, him never getting tired of the song.
“Alright, that’s enough,” he grabbed my hand and helped me off the bench. He kissed my hand. “You played like an angel. Go get some sleep.”
I went back up the stairs to bed and heard him start playing his violin once more. That was the moment I realized he wasn’t the monster he thought himself to be.
They kept me at the house, as Brian and Joshua moved back and forth between Boston and the country home. I wondered if I would ever be allowed back into the city or if he was just testing to see if I would run away. Walter didn’t watch me as closely as he did before, which I was thankful for. I got to stroll through the woods on my own, although I did swear I felt I was being watched sometimes but I never did see anyone.
Then one night, a storm came to pass, trapping all of us in the house. Rain poured, wind howled, and the sky flashed light. Hours passed as I watched the storm from the parlor. Brian looked anxious, more anxious than normal. I had no idea what was going on with him as I watched sweat pour off his skin. He paced around the room, running his hands through his hair. Joshua and Walter were both silent as Walter went about his daily chores and Joshua sat across from me.
“What’s wrong?” I finally asked.
“Nothing,” he snapped and stopped pacing. He pointed at the piano. “Play some music.”
For the most part, Brian had always kept his calm around me. He never got mad at me but also talked to me with kindheartedness. Tonight was different, tonight there was something very wrong.
As I played, he began to pace again. He muttered under his breath as he wiped away the sweat. I tried not to stare at him as I played. I felt bad and had no idea what I could do for him. So I did as he said and played the piano.
The wind howled even louder and the power suddenly went out, darkness flooding everything around us. Lightning flashed around the house and the silhouette Brian created sent shivers down my spine. Quickly, I got some candles and lit them in the parlor. I went back to playing, to soothe the beast. Walter and Joshua didn’t say a word as I continued to play while Brian continued to pace around the parlor.
Suddenly Brian slammed his fist down on the table. “When will this storm be over with?!”
“From the looks of it, not for a good while, sir,” Walter answered as he entered with a tray of refreshments.
He grabbed one of the drinks and threw it against the wall. The drink stained the wall and floor where it had splashed down to. I jumped, startled, and stopped playing for a moment. Brian’s eyes shined yellow and he breathed heavily. His fangs were extended and I could tell he was trying to calm himself down but nothing was working. I think it was at that moment I understood what was wrong with him.
“Did I tell you you could stop playing?” his voice was low, almost like that of some predator.
I spun back around and started playing again. But instead of playing from the sheet of music, I listened to the storm outside and tried to match the rhythm of nature. I let my heart guide me. The tempo was gentle, but strong and demanding a listener’s attention. I had never been one to make up songs as I went but with the tension growing in the house, I knew I had to do something.
Brian didn’t move but just stared at me with his glowing yellow eyes, the candle light reflecting back in an eerie monster-like way. I glanced back once or twice, but dared not to meet his gaze. I didn’t know what to do other than to play.
An hour passed before Brian said anything.
“That’s enough.”
I stopped and turned to him. Sweat still poured down his face, his clothes soaked.
“Are you alright?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, I’m not.”
I glanced at Joshua. He still didn’t say anything but he looked more concerned as the night progressed.
“You’re hungry, aren’t you? For...” I hesitated. “Blood.”
“Bingo,” Brian coughed. “I can’t get anywhere in this storm
. I was supposed to go out yesterday but yesterday was bad too. The road’s flooded,” he coughed again and looked at me with his predator-like eyes. I held my breath, not even able to move as he looked at me. “I’m going to my room. Walter, please lock it until the road is clear.”
“Yes, sir.”
Walter followed Brian up the stairs, leaving Joshua and I alone. I hated being alone with Joshua. It didn’t seem that he ever had anything nice to say to me and always saw me as some kind of threat to Brian.
Joshua leaned forward and nodded towards the stairs. “You should go up there and give him your blood.”
I was right. Never had anything good to say. “Excuse me?” I asked.
“He saved your life, took you in when no one else would,” he began. I narrowed my eyes at him. “You owe him. Not to mention you are his servant, the girl he keeps around for only God knows why.”
“You think that I would just go up there and give him my blood?” I said. He was asking me to give my life up to Brian just because he hadn’t gotten any blood for a few days.
“Yes. You wouldn’t be the first girl to. You saw the way he was looking at you, he needs blood.”
“Why don’t you go up there and give him your blood then?” I shot back.
“Because he craves your blood. Why do you think he went up stairs? He couldn’t handle the temptation anymore. He desires you and you just flaunt yourself in front of him. He has given you so much, so much you don’t deserve. He won’t kill you, he just needs to stop suffering. Don’t you want him to stop suffering?”
I glared at him for a few moments. Brian had given me a lot, even when he didn’t have to. But what Joshua was saying was scary. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to be in pain anymore.
But neither did I want Brian to be in pain.
Slowly I stood up, still glaring at Joshua, and headed up the stairs. The stair way was dark, only a few candles that Walter had light brought any light to the area. As I got to Brian’s bedroom, Walter was still next to the door.
“What are you doing, dear?” he asked.
“I can solve this simply, I owe it to him.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “He can’t control himself like this, I’ve seen what happens before. You would be risking your life.”
I thought about listening to his request of not going in, but the thought of Brian in pain and how he had risked his own life to save me, I couldn’t just walk away. “Then I better be quick before he gets worse.”
Walter nodded, a look of concern still on his face, and unlocked the door.
“I will be fine,” I tried to ease his worry. “I trust Brian won’t hurt me.”
It was dark inside, only one candle in all the room lit. Shadows flickered around the room and I could barely make out any of the furniture in his room. All of a sudden, Brian was standing in front of me. I jumped back, mostly from surprise and the fact he looked more horrible than he did downstairs.
“What are you doing in here?” he demanded.
“I thought I would give you my blood, help you through this storm.”
“No.”
“You saved my life, it is the least I can do.”
He shook his head. “I said no.”
I didn’t move, whether it was because of fear or I really wanted to be there I wasn’t sure. “I’m not leaving here until you take my blood.”
He shoved me against the wall, his fangs exposed and inches from my face. He took a slow breath, the air tingling against my skin. I felt my heart racing in my chest. I had never seen him so dangerous, so beast-like. This was dangerous, I realized, but after everything Brian had done for me, I couldn’t just let him suffer.
“What about now?” his breath was hot and made me shiver, but I wouldn’t budge. My breaths were fast and my mind was racing, worrying about what could happen.
“You aren’t going to scare me away if that’s what you think,” I whispered.
He leaned in closer, his yellow eyes inches from my own eyes. “I don’t scare you?”
I took a deep breath. “No.”
He just laughed. “But I will. Trust me, if I don’t kill you, you will fear me.”
“I couldn’t fear you Brian, not after everything you have done for me.”
Brian was silent for a moment, battling the urge to drink my blood. “I don’t want to kill you.”
“Then don’t.”
It was taking everything for him to hold back, I could tell by the way he shook and how his eyes shifted back and forth. “You don’t know how strong this hunger is, I don’t know if I will be able to stop.”
I placed my finger on his lips before he could refuse. “Then I will stop you, okay?”
Brian’s eyes drifted to my hand that was in front of his face. Slowly he wrapped his fingers around my arm and pulled my wrist to his mouth. I could feel his tongue against my skin, which was a weird sensation, to have a man lick you. Then the piercing pain of his fangs entering my skin came. I held back the scream, I held back the tears. Pain was second nature to me, but this was entirely different. This was sharp pain, like a knife. Not blunt like I am used to. Not only that, this pain was brought on by someone who cared, someone who didn’t necessarily want me to hurt. And that single thing was keeping me from breaking down.
I could feel the blood seep out of my skin as he drank it, his tongue slurping up each and every drop. I was glad it was dark, I did not want to see what was happening.
Brian let go of my wrist, still taking deep breaths, his eyes still looking like that of a predator.
“Brian, was that enough?” I asked.
He didn’t say a word as he brought his face close to mine.
“Brian?” I whispered.
He grabbed the back of my neck, squeezing and not letting go. I couldn’t move my head. He leaned in and slowly bit into my neck. I screamed this time, knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to stop him.
“Brian! Snap out of it!” I tried to push him away but he didn’t budge. With each second passing, my body started to feel even weaker. Flashbacks from all the beatings I had, all the times pain was brought down on me. I shook, cried, screamed. Nothing was stopping him. If he had cared for me, he would have stopped. Maybe I was just another girl to him, one he could just use. Nothing made sense anymore and the pain was overwhelming. Everything was spinning around me. I closed my eyes.
“Brian, please...”
Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Without reason, Brian stopped, drawing his fangs out of my throat. He touched his cheek where one of my tears had dropped on to him. He looked at his hand then at me. I didn’t say a word but knew I had a look of fear. He still had one hand holding me in place and I didn’t know if he was going to bite me again.
He let go of me and stepped back from me. “Anne, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he reached for me but I flinched, prepared for more pain, pain that would keep coming no matter where I ran. He drew his hand away from me and shook his head. “I can’t begin to repay you for this. I’m sorry.”
Brian hurried to the door. “Walter, let me out of here! I need to get Anne bandages now!”
The door opened quickly and Brian left. I slid down the wall and collapsed on the ground. My body didn’t feel as if it could move again. It was weak and I didn’t have the strength. Whether it was from the loss of blood or from my mind snapping and the memories of everything flooding back, I wasn’t sure.
Walter came in and helped me to my bedroom. He laid me in my bed and began to wrap up my injuries. I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes dry, no more tears being able to escape any more.
“Are you alright, Miss Anne?” Walter asked as he washed away the blood.
I shook my head. “No.”
He grabbed my hand and stroked it gently. “Brian told me about your past. You came from an abusive family, is that right?”
I nodded.
“He lost control, didn’t he? And hurt you. It felt like you lost all trust in him, that if someone whom y
ou thought cared about you could hurt you, what is stopping the rest of the world from hurting you.”
I glanced over at Walter. He was right, that was how I felt. The emotions were swirling inside my mind, frustration, confusion, but more importantly anger at myself for trusting him to not be different. I hated feeling it, knowing that it wasn’t his fault, that he wasn’t even human, not anymore.
“Anne, you have to understand that he didn’t want to hurt you. That was why he locked himself in there, because he couldn’t stand being in the same room as you. No one should have suffered as you did, but you also have to understand he can’t control the hunger, especially when it is someone he truly cares for. It’s why he can never get close to someone, why he hasn’t been close to someone for so long. You are the first he has ever went to extremes to stop himself from, at least that I know of. Remember, he has been around for a while.”
I pondered on the words Walter had said as he finished cleaning up the wound. Did he truly care about me? That was why he tried to stay away from me. None of it made sense, and I just wanted to sleep and not think about it anymore.
Walter finished cleaning and left me for the night. I requested he leave the candle next to the door burning. I didn’t want to be alone in the dark any longer.
The storm cleared the next day and Brian and Joshua headed back to the city. Walter wanted to know if I wanted to talk to Brian before I left and I told him no. I knew it wasn’t Brian’s intention to hurt me but I was afraid that if I saw him in such short amount of time after what happened, all the emotions would come flooding back. I shouldn’t have thought I was strong enough to handle it, I shouldn’t have lied to myself.
After I had gathered enough strength, I was able to leave my room and go down the stairs. There wasn’t much to do but to work on the song I had created for Brian during the storm. It was a way I could calm myself down and forget all that happened and to remember that he was the one who brought me out of the darkness. That he had saved me from my misery that was living at home and I was thankful for that. I came to realize that it wasn’t Brian’s fault he had been turned into a monster. He fought it as hard as he could.
