Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader

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Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader Page 23

by Bathroom Readers' Institute


  Thanks to a rousing score and stirring lyrics from Rodgers and Hammerstein, the stage version became a classic. After the creation of a film version starring Julie Andrews, Maria became one of the most familiar stepmothers around. But this tale was based on a true story. Maria actually existed and did become stepmother to the von Trapp children. But how closely does the musical resemble the facts?

  WHEN FRUSTRATED, MARIA WAS KNOWN TO SING

  False. (Did you really think this could be true?) Maria von Trapp, as she freely admitted, did not burst into song when hardship arose. She may have been as lively and impulsive as her movie character, but she also struggled with a scarred past. Her mother died when she was two, her father left her with an elderly cousin in Vienna for most of her childhood, and after her father’s death she went to live with an abusive male relative. Despite her hardships, Maria was a strong woman who overcame much to support her beloved new family.

  WHILE GROWING UP,

  MARIA ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A NUN

  False. In the musical, we’re led to believe that as a child, Maria was drawn to the church by the nuns’ singing as they worked in the garden. In reality, Maria was actually raised to be a socialist and atheist. She became interested in Catholicism while she attended college. The story goes that she had ducked into a church hoping to hear a Bach concert but instead she heard and was moved by a sermon from a priest who sparked a new devotion in Maria. She would later join the convent.

  MARIA WAS GOVERNESS TO

  ALL THE VON TRAPP CHILDREN

  False. Maria only had to look after one of the baron’s daughters who had rheumatic fever, and only for ten months, since the child was too ill to attend school. Still determined to be a nun, Maria was conflicted when she found herself falling in love—with the von Trapp children. Maria had grown up a lonely child, shuttled between different family members and had invented an imaginary family for herself, the Paultraxls, to keep herself company. Perhaps this von Trapp children reminded her of her imaginary playmates from childhood?

  THE VON TRAPP FAMILY SINGERS

  WAS A REAL SINGING ACT

  True. When Baron von Trapp’s fortune was wiped out in the 1930s, Maria convinced him that there was no shame in singing for money. Maria organized her family into a choir and hustled the von Trapp Family Singers off on a well-paying tour. Maria’s management solved more than financial problems. Baron von Trapp detested the Nazis, and a booking in America provided a chance for them to leave when Hitler took over Austria. After the von Trapps reached America, they continued to sing for their supper. They eventually settled down in Stowe, Vermont, and opened up the Trapp Family Lodge, which is still run by the von Trapp family today.

  “Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.” —Lin Yutang

  Where in the World Is Mom?

  Vital stats about moms around the world.

  Around the world, the five countries with the lowest birthrates (births per thousand of population) were:

  Bulgaria

  8.02

  Latvia

  8.55

  Germany

  8.60

  Czech Republic

  9.01

  Italy

  9.18

  Around the world, the five countries with the highest birthrates were all developing nations:

  Niger

  49.54

  Mali

  47.79

  Chad

  47.06

  Uganda

  46.57

  Somalia

  46.42

  Source: 2003 CIA World Factbook

  WHERE IN THE WORLD IS

  THE BEST PLACE TO BE A MOM?

  You might be surprised! One essential of a good place for mothering is the likelihood of having a healthy baby.

  In 2003, the ten countries with the lowest infant mortality rates per thousand live births were:

  Japan

  3.30

  Sweden

  3.42

  Iceland

  3.50

  Singapore

  3.57

  Finland

  3.73

  Netherlands

  4.26

  Germany

  4.23

  Andorra

  4.06

  Norway

  3.87

  Netherlands

  4.26

  The six countries with highest life expectancy for moms (and dads) in 2002 were:

  Andorra

  83.5

  Macau

  81.87

  San Marino

  81.4

  Japan

  80.9

  Singapore

  80.4

  Australia

  80.1

  Source: 2003 CIA World Factbook

  In 2002 Save the Children Foundation published the Mother’s Index comparing the well-being of mothers and children in 105 countries. Top-ranking countries have the best health care, nutrition, and education and lowest rates of infant mortality and deaths from childbirth. The three top-ranked countries were:

  1. Switzerland

  2. Canada

  3. Norway

  Puzzled Moms and Kids

  Let’s see how closely you were reading . . . Can you find seven other celebrated moms and their equally famous offspring from fact and fiction. Happy puzzling!

  Across

  1Follows relentlessly

  5Moroccans and Libyans, e.g.

  10Wedding helper

  15Corrida cries

  19Heaps

  20Mt. Everest locale

  21“Lovergirl” singer ___ Marie

  22Ward of “Once and Again”

  23Run without moving

  24Melanie Griffith’s mother

  26Vichyssoise veggie

  27This matter is settled

  29Become one

  30NASA concern

  32Just dumb

  33“Maybe” musical

  34Note after fa

  35Enters

  37“Deutschland ___ Alles”

  38Really lets have it

  43High degree

  44Bart, Lisa, and Maggie’s mother

  48Hard to find

  49 ___ end (finished)

  51Building wings

  52Marine eagle

  5352-Across’s grabber

  54Misty who played Marilyn in “Goodbye, Norma Jean”

  55Seed cover

  56“Battle Cry” author Leon

  57Some cigars

  58Victoria’s Secret specialty

  60Approximation words

  61Put a new handle on

  62Isabella Rossellini’s mother

  66Taiwan capital

  70“Saving Private Ryan” event

  71Find work

  76Charlotte ___, V.I.

  77Become a member of

  78Disk on the ice

  79Poor, as excuses go

  80Copier, briefly

  81French denials

  82Of the hipbone: Prefix

  83Hose hole

  84Exile isle

  85Gwyneth Paltrow’s mother

  89Bambi’s aunt

  90Arranges again, as food or hair

  92Little dent

  93Comedian-actor-writer Steve

  95Continent north of Afr.

  96Common Bible word for “strike”

  98Philosopher of dialectics

  99Put under

  103Classic toothpaste

  104They go back on their word

  107“___ bien!”

  108Liza and Lorna’s mother

  111Mideast money

  112Is under the weather

  113In flames

  114Davis of “Evening Shade”

  115Toaster waffle

  116Corn or Bible follower

  117Bear and Berra

  118Put one over on

  119Gorilla

  Down

  1Oration station

  2Word often seen with “shoppe”

  3Kate Hudson’
s mother

  4Beer-garden sights

  5Disappearing rooftop fixture

  6Roi’s spouse

  7Date with a Dr.

  8Religious sect: Abbr.

  9Goal of many dieters

  10Baby berths?

  11Grassy plant

  12“___ goes nothing!”

  13Chemical suffix

  14Former name of Myanmar’s capital

  15Capital on a fjord

  16Snidely Whiplash look

  17Part of G.E.

  18Japanese rice wine

  25___ Bendel (trendy Fifth Avenue store)

  28“Look, ___ dancing!”

  31Winter woe

  33Hersey’s “___ for Adano”

  34It’s about a foot

  35Tree knot

  3610th-century German king

  37More like Lena the Hyena

  38ID’s for the IRS

  39Orient Express, e.g.

  40Actress Hayek

  41Woolf’s “___ of One’s Own”

  42Keyed up

  45Fit again

  46Liverpool’s river

  47Previous arrest, in police lingo

  50Photog’s orig.

  53Poll revelation

  55Golfer Palmer, to fans

  56“___ Cowboy”: Travolta film

  57Short-sheeting, e.g.

  59Letters for Old MacDonald

  60On the strange side

  63“___ care who knows it!”

  64Craft activity

  65Home of the Georgia State Fair

  66Circus star with a whip

  67What a miss is as good as, proverbially

  68Metrical feet

  69Cheerleader’s skirt feature

  72Capp and Capone

  73Jamie Lee Curtis’s mother

  74Muscat resident

  75Started

  77Delights

  78Woodworker’s tool

  81N.Y. Met, e.g.

  82Longest dog sled race

  85Raucous bird on the feeder

  86City near Minneapolis

  87Corrected

  88Go ballistic

  91Up to now

  94Be sorry about

  96“Heidi” author

  97Wizards of yore

  98Skater Sonja

  99Rough guess

  100Buffalo’s lake

  101Farmer’s place, in a nursery rhyme

  102Mgr.’s helper

  103Beatnik’s “Gotcha!”

  104Wood file

  105Prego competitor

  106Plug away

  109Vehicle for ET?

  110Shaq’s alma mater

  Answers on page 303.

  Calling Dr. Mom

  Down through the centuries mothers have been healers too.

  Throughout time, mothers have always been called upon to “make it all better,” especially when their families are under the weather. If you want to stock up your medicine cabinet with a few old-school remedies, here are a few that Dr. Mom would recommend.

  Berries—Since pioneer days, mothers have touted cranberry juice as a way to prevent urinary problems. Turns out cranberries and blueberries contain condensed tannins. These little gems, called proanthocyanidins, prevent the infection-causing E. coli bacteria from attaching to cells in the urinary tract. You might say that they keep the bacteria swept off your insides—a bit of cleaning would appeal to a tidy mom.

  Cabbage Juice—Imperial Roman mothers knew of an indigestion remedy that is still appreciated today—cabbage juice! The value of cabbage juice was upheld when a group of researchers from Stanford University School of Medicine found that 13 people with ulcers who drank 1 liter (about 1 quart) of raw cabbage juice every day healed six times faster than those who were cabbage teetotalers.

  Chicken Soup—So many Jewish mothers used chicken soup as a restorative for a cold that it became known as Jewish penicillin. According to researchers at the University of Nebraska, the garlic used in the soup has anti-inflammatory powers. In addition, the broth’s heat stimulates the flow of mucus and the soup’s liquid replaces lost fluids.

  Garlic—Garlic was another remedy in a Chinese mother’s pharmacy. To cure a bout of bronchitis, mom might make a tea of steeped garlic and honey. Thousands of years later (in 2001 to be exact), a U.S. trial showed that 72 volunteers who took a daily capsule containing allicin, the main active ingredient in garlic, were one third as likely to develop a cold as the 72 who took a placebo. If they did succumb, they recovered more quickly. Put another feather in the cap of Chinese mothers, grandmothers, and their remedies

  Ginger—Ancient Ayurvedic remedies that have existed for thousands of years in India are making a popular comeback. But for many families where mothers and grandmother use traditional remedies—the ancient wisdom was never gone in the first place. Ma and grandma would often urge the chewing of ginger after a meal to ease indigestion. Ginger tea and honey were also given for a cough. Modern research has found ginger to have antinausea properties that aid digestion. And it is a powerful antioxidant with strong anti-inflammatory effects.

  Green Tea—“Better to be deprived of food for three days, then tea for one,” says an ancient Chinese proverb. For over four thousand years, with the simple act of brewing green tea for their families, Chinese mothers could combat everything from headaches to fatigue to tooth decay. But did they know they were pouring a miracle drug into the family tea cups? Scientific research hails green tea for reducing the risk of cancer, arthritis, heart disease, and immune function problems.

  Potatoes—Thousands of years ago the ancient Incan civilization in Peru cultivated the potato. Incan mothers used potatoes as a tool for healing. Raw slices might be placed on an aching joint to help it heal. What was likely more useful was the Incan realization that cooked potatoes were a soothing bland food that helped prevent indigestion.

  Tree Bark—If a child fell ill in ancient Egypt, chances were that her mom would give her a bit of willow bark to chew on. What for? Turns out that willow bark has many of the same chemicals as our modern day aspirin. Native American moms also knew the value of tree bark. Chewing on a willow twig eased pain and lowered fever, while the gummy bark of the slippery elm tree could treat coughs and sore throats by coating and soothing irritated mucus membranes. Today, there are cough drops that are still made with slippery elm as an ingredient.

  Aztec mothers also used cinnamon bark to fight illness. This bark contains oil called cinnamaldehyde that fights nausea and reduces fever. If a virus had the family under the weather, an Aztec mother could make them an atole of masa harina (corn flour) flavored with a cinnamon stick to add both spice and healing power.

  They Loved Lucille

  The on-screen and off-screen lives of TV’s funniest mom.

  In January 1953, a record 44 million people turned on their TV sets to watch I Love Lucy, America’s most popular TV sitcom. On that evening, the main character, ditzy housewife Lucy Ricardo, became a mom; her husband, bandleader Ricky Ricardo, rushed to the hospital to see his newborn son, Ricky, known thereafter as “Little Ricky.”

  DOUBLE WHAMMY

  While that memorable episode was airing for the first time, actress Lucille Ball, who played Lucy Ricardo, and her husband Desi Arnaz, who played Ricky Ricardo, were actually in the hospital admiring their newborn second child, their own son, Desi, Jr. Life and art often blurred on episodes of I Love Lucy, but never more so than the day where their real son, Desi, Jr., and their fictional son, Little Ricky, were born.

  Lucy’s fans were enthralled by the double whammy. Congratulations and good wishes poured in from all over the world. But Lucy’s TV life and real life didn’t completely mesh. Lucy Ricardo was always an ideal (if wacky) mom, adored by her TV kids, but the real-life Lucille went home to serious challenges that mothers face, the kind that even the best screenwriters can’t easily solve.

  LUCY, I’M HOME!

  Just like her irrepressible TV character, Lucille Ball had the show-biz bug. Coming t
o Hollywood in 1933 to audition for a bit part, she stayed on and eventually moved up to feature roles in small films. She starred in so many small films that she was known as the “Queen of the Bs.”

  In 1940, at age 28, the Queen of the Bs met a handsome Cuban bandleader named Desi Arnaz at RKO studios on the set of the movie Too Many Girls (foreshadowing, anyone?). There was instant chemistry between the two; he didn’t even seem to mind that she was wearing a fake black eye for a scene in her current film. All he could see was Lucille. Within six weeks, the two were married.

  Despite their strong attraction, Desi and Lucille weren’t a heavenly match. Lucille was driven and hardworking, but remained insecure, a trait only exacerbated by Desi’s problems with drinking and womanizing. The couple immediately began a long cycle of wrangling and reconciling. Friends gave the marriage six months.

  LUCILLE IS PREGNANT, LUCY IS “EXPECTING”

  By 1951 Lucille and Desi had been together for over a decade. Together they created Desilu Studios to produce the TV show I Love Lucy. The steady TV work would enable them to settle down on their chicken farm in Chatsworth, California, and get busy raising a family.

  Neither Desi nor Lucille bargained on having both projects collide, but when it rains it pours. Less than two months after the birth of their first child, a baby girl named Lucie, filming began on the first season of I Love Lucy. Lucille’s antics as the starstruck Lucy Ricardo earned her legions of fans; by the end of the first season, I Love Lucy was a hit. But when Lucy found out that she was pregnant for a second time, the CBS execs got prepartum depression. This was the era when TV married couples slept in separate twin beds. Pregnancy meant that the couple had crossed the big divide between those beds. Viewers might be shocked and offended.

 

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