by Laura Avery
“I don’t even want you?” He sounded serious. “Emery, I already have you.” His fingers were under my chin, pulling my eyes into his again. His gaze was suffocating, so captivating that every time it pierced mine I felt like I was looking at him for the first time. “You’re mine,” he whispered. “I’m not going to fight anyone for you. It won’t even be a fight because no one is going to take what belongs to me, I’ll fucking destroy them first.”
I wanted to say something but I felt paralyzed by his beauty and dominance, the same way I always did. It was more intense this time, though; something about the way he was looking at me was different. He could always see right through me, this time I felt like he was really looking through me, really trying to grasp every inch of how my mind worked.
It left me feeling more naked and vulnerable than ever.
“What do you want from me?” I whispered. “Because I’m tired of guessing, I’m tired of this constant game in my head. It’s so confusing.” I risked pushing my hands up and down his arms, tracing his defined muscles.
He closed his eyes, wincing as if he was in pain. “What do I want from you? Are you that fucking blind, Emery?” He pushed away from me and sighed heavily. “You ruined my brother’s fucking life. I want to make you pay and rip your fucking clothes off at the same time.” He ran his hands up and down his face roughly. “You think it’s confusing for you, you should try living a day in my fucking head.”
I studied his posture, trying to figure out what to say to that. I wish I could make him understand what happened that night, wished I could explain it to him but I knew he wouldn’t believe me, there was no way he would take my word over Liam’s. He might be confused as to what he was feeling for me, if he was feeling anything at all, but I was still the girl he had tormented for the last six years and Liam was still his blood.
Speaking up about what happened that night would only throw his wall back up completely. Anytime I brought it up Jackson was so overcome with rage he became even more terrifying than normal.
“Yeah, well….” I shrugged. “How do you think I feel?”
He raised his eyebrows at me.
“I’m supposed to hate you!” I shook my head, my thoughts overwhelming me so much that I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I was tired of always holding it in, exhausted of only contemplating these things within my own mind. “And, instead, I can’t stay away from you! And not because you’re making me, Jackson, because I… because I can’t help it! Or control it!” I gestured toward him rapidly. “You’re like embedded in me or something! It’s not healthy! Or normal!”
Jackson closed the distance between us, pushing me harder into the wall and pinning my hands above my hand as he laced his fingers through mine. His lips were on mine like water on an open flame, trying desperately to calm the burn that was taking over but failing miserably. He tasted me hungrily; as if he hadn’t eaten anything in months and I was the last meal he was ever going to receive.
I pushed my tongue into his mouth, missing his taste even though I had just had it hours before. The effect Jackson Lucas had on me was addicting and consuming. Every taste, every touch, every word had me flying closer and closer to the edge of darkness. And once I made my way fully into the blackness of Jackson’s world, I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to make my way out of it, no matter how hard I clawed and fought for it. More importantly, I wasn’t sure I would even want to.
Jackson pulled his lips from mine and moaned into my shoulder when his phone started going off. “Fuck,” he grumbled, pulling it out of his pocket and glancing at the screen. He frowned, his expression changing from one of need to one of anger and annoyance. He pulled away from me. “I have to take this. I want you to go back to your dorm and wait for me, okay? I’ll be there in a little bit.”
I nodded, trying to catch my breath from our heavy make-out session as I made my way around his large body and toward my dorm. The truth was that I needed the break, being around Jackson put me in a haze under normal circumstance, combined with the kissing and it was a challenge just walking, let alone forming a logical thought.
“Straight home, Emery.” Jackson’s voice had an edge.
I kept walking.
“Hey,” he called out to me again, waiting for me to turn around. “You need to stop this now. Now isn’t the time for you to get all bold and try to change things between us, Emery. I give orders and you take them, that’s the way this thing works and if you try to shake things up, I can’t be held responsible for the things I might do. Do you understand me?” He silenced the still ringing phone in his hand without breaking eye contact with me.
Tears sprung up behind my eyes. “Sure, Jackson, wouldn’t dream of it,” I told him sarcastically, failing to hide the waterworks that were dripping down my cheeks. I usually tried to stop myself from crying in front of him but the deeper I got into things with him, the harder it got for me to keep it together. Jackson was showing me parts of himself I wasn’t sure he had ever shown anyone before and even though it was only slight glimpses here and there, it was enough to get my hopes up.
“Fuck,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Do you always have to be so fucking emotional, Emery? If you would stop to think for one second before you overreact you’d realize the only girl I’ve been fucking flirting with since I got here has been you.” He took a few steps closer to me. “And the one time, the one time, I had another one anywhere near me it was to get a fucking rise out of you. So, stop thinking the worst case scenario and think about what’s actually happening right in front of you. It would make both of our lives a lot easier.”
I wiped at the side of my face. “Jackson…”
But he was already dialing whoever had just called him, turning his back on me. “Right back to your room, Emery.” His phone was too his ear again, all business. "I mean it."
I turned around and left, pulling my jacket tighter across my body. As soon as I was away from Jackson, my body immediately started to run cold. I was searching the quad for Morgan and Pierce, hoping she would want to come back to the dorm with me. I didn’t usually vent to Morgan about my Jackson issues because I knew how she felt about him but right about now I could use my best friend’s straightforward, anything goes attitude. If I could count on anyone to help me figure out what the hell was going on with me, it was Morgan.
Unfortunately, she had disappeared somewhere with Pierce.
I pulled out my phone about to text her when a message from an unknown number popped up on my screen. I glanced at the crowd of students around me, feeling eerie, but it didn’t seem like anyone was watching me or paying more attention to me than normal.
I bit down on my lip and swiped the message open.
Unknown number: Room 402, C building. 5 minutes.
My grip tightened on my phone in confusion. Why did someone want me to meet them in the Science and Technology building in 5 minutes? I knew immediately it had to be from the same person who sent me the box with Pierce’s adoption file in it. From the guy who had been standing in my doorway days before, looking at me like he had never felt so sorry for someone in his entire like. And who knew, maybe he hadn’t.
Unknown number: If you don’t want clue number two I can give it to someone who does…
I looked around again and groaned. This was ridiculous. I already had Jackson and Pierce breathing down my neck every five seconds and the whole Liam thing hanging over my head, I didn’t need someone else playing games with me. I didn’t care about whatever mystery boy had to tell me, it didn’t matter, I didn’t want to know.
I turned in the direction of my dorm, determined to get back to my room and forget the mystery text. Only… I had been driving myself crazy ever since Pierce’s adoption papers had shown up in front of my door. Constantly searching the Internet, trying to figure out what it all meant, only to come up empty-handed. Jackson was a closed book and if I didn’t follow these clues, even if I hated the way they made me feel, I might never know why Jackson was the
way he was.
The Lucas boys were a mystery and each clue got me that much closer to figuring out the entire puzzle. How could I pass up a piece of information about them? I knew it was wrong, keeping the information from Jackson, but I couldn’t tell him. Not until I figured out what it all meant.
So, against my better judgment, I turned around.
Heading right toward the Science and Technology building.
Here goes nothing.
Chapter Four
“Don’t keep me waiting.”
EMERY
Two years ago*
The party was barely in full swing and Morgan was already a drunken mess. “Morgan!” I hissed as I pushed my hands under her arms and struggled to hold her up. “You promised you weren’t going to drink!” I glanced around the full kitchen anxiously, looking for any signs of the Lucas brothers. I knew coming here had been a mistake.
“No, I said I wasn’t going to drink very much,” she pointed out, stumbling forward and pushing my body into the row of beers on the counter behind us. “I can’t help it if I’m a lightweight.”
“Something you failed to mention before,” I mumbled as an open can of beer tipped over and started to flow freely down my back. I groaned and leaped away from the sticky liquid. Lovely. “I knew I shouldn’t have come.”
Morgan grabbed a fresh beer and snapped open the cap. “Relax, Emery, Jackson and his asshole brothers think they’re way too cool to come to some lame high school party.” She wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me closer to her swaying body. “Besides, you’re 18 now! We have to celebrate! You’re legal now… you can do so many things you couldn’t do before.”
I tried not to laugh. It definitely didn’t feel like that.
“Oh, what’s she doing here?” Morgan sounded confused and my heart leaped into my chest as I followed her gaze, preparing myself for the worst but I sighed in relief when the word she replayed in my mind. Not he, she. She wasn’t talking about Jackson, Emery. Calm the fuck down.
My eyes landed on the girl in the corner. Her dark blonde hair hung in loose strands down her back, covering her green eyes from the curious looks people were shooting her way. They were no doubt all wondering the same thing as Morgan, why would Charlotte Abraham be at a senior party when she had graduated two years ago?
Seeing her sent off alarm bells in my head.
Charlotte had been the only person at school who the Lucas brothers seemed more fascinated by than me. When she had graduated out, the pressure put on me by Jackson and Pierce had intensified, almost as if they needed a new toy to play with. Most of Charlottes suffering had been at the hands of the oldest Lucas brother, though. Charlotte had been Liam’s own version of fun. The things he did to Charlotte made the way Jackson treated me look like child’s play.
So, what the hell was she doing here now?
After all this time…
“He’s here,” I said firmly, pressing my hands into Morgan’s shoulder.
Morgan frowned. “What? No, he’s not.”
I looked at Charlotte again. “If she’s here, the Lucas brothers are, too.” I looked around again, planning my escape. “I need to get out of here. We need to leave. Where are your keys?”
My best friend rolled her eyes. “We aren’t leaving.”
“Morgan,” I snapped. “It’s the end of senior year, their last chance to make my life miserable, if they catch me here there’s no telling what they might do.” I wasn’t sure the idea of me going to college hundreds of miles away and out of Jackson’s sight was that appealing to him. Who knew what he would do once he was backed into a corner?
Morgan handed her beer over to me. “Look, if he shows up…”
But her words trailed off as a small shiver drifted into the bottom of my back and made its way over my entire body. I sighed and turned around. “It’s too late, he’s already here.” Like always, the crowd in the kitchen thinned out and voices fell as everyone turned to look at the Lucas brothers.
Jackson’s gray eyes found mine right away and I felt my knees tremble.
Fuck.
Hatred and annoyance came across his features. He looked me up and down slowly, his knuckles clutching up at his sides as he took in the people around me, making sure that no one was too close. No one could ever be too close. He glanced at Liam and his older brother shook his head in disapproval before he disappeared to the other side of the party.
And, of course, at that very moment, some sloppy junior decided to slide up next to me and shoot me a sly smirk. He was clearly drunk and unaware of what he was doing. Anyone in their right mind knew talking to me in front of Jackson was social suicide. And that was only if they walked away from the scene unharmed, most people had learned from example.
I pushed away from him, trying to help him out.
The kid took it the wrong way and shot me a nasty look. “Wow, you don’t have to be so stuck up about it, I was just saying hi.” His eyes narrowed and he pushed off the counter so that he was standing in front of me. “You think you’re too good for me or something? Is that it?”
My body shook nervously.
I needed to get out of there.
The kid took in my quivering body and frowned. “Jesus, what’s wrong with you?” His blue eyes were filled with confusion and clouded over with a drunken gloss. “Do you have, like, a tick or something?” He moved his hand onto my shoulder, trying to steady me. “Hey, just relax.”
Jackson came out of nowhere, yanking him off of me and throwing the kid’s body against the table in the back of us. He landed with a heavy thud, stumbling to his feet and his eyes grew wide when he saw it was Jackson who had put his hands on him.
Jackson lunged forward again, taking him by the shirt and pulling him against his chest. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t rip your fucking throat out right here in front of everyone.”
The kid was the one shaking now. “Jackson, please…”
“Please, what?” He shook him harder.
A kid jumped up next to him, yanking on Jackson’s sleeve lightly. “Jackson, please man, he’s clearly fucked up on something.” The kid’s friend sounded desperate, pleading to save his friend the beating that was sure to come at the hands of Jackson.
“And how the fuck is that my problem?” Jackson spat from the side of his lips.
The kid in his hands shook his head. “Jackson, I forgot for a second, that’s all. I’m sorry…” He turned his head to Pierce who was leaning on the kitchen counter looking bored. “Pierce, please, man, you gotta tell him. Tell him I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Pierce glanced at me like the whole situation was my fault before turning back to his brother. “I’m really not in the mood to be covered in blood this early in the night, Jackson.” He sighed and then shrugged. “Let him go, he’s harmless. A dope but harmless.”
I saw Jackson’s shoulders relax slightly before he released him from his grip. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood. Get him the fuck out of my sight. If I see him again tonight it’s not going to end so fucking innocently.”
The kids scurried away and Jackson turned his anger toward me.
Morgan was in front of me within seconds. “Can you guys go anywhere without starting a fucking fight?” she taunted. “You do know one day you’re going to find someone who isn’t scared of you, right?”
Jackson ignored her, his eyes locked on mine. “Pierce.”
Pierce groaned but moved across the space anyway, taking Morgan into his arms and pulling her off after him. I started to protest but Pierce shot me a skeptical look. “Relax, I don’t need to take advantage of drunk girls to get my fucking cock wet, I have plenty of options.” His hold tightened on Morgan as she started to squirm. “And if I did, trust me when I tell you she would be the last one I’d be trying to get with.”
“Fuck you!” Morgan sneered as she disappeared into his arms.
Jackson grabbed the beer out of my hand and tossed it against the side
of the counter, sending the remaining liquid splashing all over the side of the sink. “You’re drinking now, huh?” He pushed his body into mine, holding my trembling knees between his muscular legs.
“I was just holding it,” I whispered.
His jaw tensed. “Don’t lie to me, little lamb.”
“I’m not.”
“You reek of alcohol.”
“It spilled on me.”
Jackson boxed my body in, wrapping his arms around my stomach and yanking me against his groin. “You shouldn’t be here, Emery.” He pushed my wrist behind my back, locking it there.
“Why not?” I tensed under his touch and tried to ignore the heat that was forming between my legs. I was used to him touching me by now but never like this. Something about it felt more intimidating, more disturbing.
“Because that guy almost had his way with you,” he growled. “You can’t protect yourself.” His grip tightened on me. “If I hadn’t of been here that guy probably would have ended up sticking his pencil sized dick inside of you and then I would have had to fucking kill him.”
I shuttered. “I wouldn’t have let him…”
“You’re drunk,” he puffed out, exasperated with me. “He would have taken advantage of you.” His eyes traced mine seriously. “And then I would have ended up in jail for murder.”
“You wouldn’t have killed him,” I whispered. “You don’t even like me.”
“That’s not the point.” He ran his finger up and down my bottom lip. “The point is that no one’s allowed to touch you except for me, my little lamb.” He leaned into me, his skin practically touching mine. “I don’t want you here, drinking and doing God knows what with these fucking douchebags. Not when I can’t keep an eye on you.”
“Don’t you mean when you can’t torture me?”
He shrugged. “Same difference.”
My body was shaking so hard that I thought I might explode.
