by Mary Smith
I follow her to the kitchen and am shocked to see Hamilton, Janan, Coach Long, his girlfriend, Macy, and…Liam. “Hello,” I say as they all stare at me and the only ones who acknowledge me are Coach and Hamilton. Nova goes over to Macy, who is holding Klara.
“I’ll be right back,” she tells them and again I follow her to my daughter’s room. “She’s teething and not feeling well.” She easily places Klara in my arms. “She did eat, but she needs a bath, diaper change, and rocked to sleep.”
“I’m not sure I can bathe her.” I bounce Klara a bit.
“If you want to care for her all the time or during your visitation time, then you need to learn.”
Now, she’s cross with me.
“Okay.” I nod.
“Everything you need is in the bathroom.” She nods over my shoulder and then rushes away.
Klara whimpers a bit and I softly shush her and bounce her. “We can do this,” I say to her and go toward the bathroom. “Okay, I know I can’t put you in the shower or too deep of water.” I begin to talk through this. I kiss Klara’s forehead. “When all else fails, we Google.”
I grab my phone and browse several sites to find instructions on how to bathe a baby. I read the words aloud to Klara and begin making my way around the tub. I triple check the temperature and it seems warm but not hot.
“We got the first step done.” I reassure her, although I think the reassurance is more for myself. “You have to undress now.”
Klara gives me a look as if I should already know she can’t do this on her own.
“I’m going to help.” I kneel down closer to the floor. “Wow there are a lot of snaps and shit. I shouldn’t say shit. Please don’t let shit be your first word.”
My daughter coos and babbles as I finally declothe her and put her in her bath safety seat. “See this is simple.”
Keeping one hand on her back, I check my phone again to see the next step. I read how to cup my hand to wet her skin. “I’ve got this.” I look around for the soap and see it’s within arm’s reach. I gently massage her baby skin and rinse her off. I feel as if I’ve climbed Mount Everest in one try.
“Now your hair. Hmm…” I have to figure out this part because I don’t want to blind her with shampoo. “How do I rinse it?” I mull over a couple of ideas. I rule out putting her under the faucet. I know this much. I need a container of sorts. There’s nothing I can use.
“Oh my God. Shit,” I yell and quickly lift Klara from the dirty water. She shit in the water, and it’s disgusting. As I hold her close, she farts and then running nastiness gushes all over me, her, my clothes, and the bathroom.
“Shit.” I holler again and scare Klara, who begins to wail with big tears rolling down her face. “No, söt flicka, don’t cry.” I try to calm her, but the smell is killing me. My daughter could put Alden to shame and he can clear the entire locker room. As she passes gas again more shit comes squirting out. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
A gasp comes from behind, making me turn to see Nova’s mouth wide open taking in the horrendous scene in front of me. She covers her mouth, and I see she’s trying to hide the laughter that’s bubbling up.
“Nova, help,” I ask–almost begging–as Klara wails.
She’s trying her best to keep a straight face but can’t as she grabs a towel and takes Klara from me. She opens the tub drain and then hands me another towel.
“There’s no saving these clothes.” I grumble.
“Just stand there.” She orders me with a smile on her face. “Let me clean her up first.”
With ease, she quickly moves and cleans up Klara, puts on fresh clothes, and sits her in the crib. She comes back and tells me not to move. She cleans the tub and pulls all the items out of it, putting them in a mesh bag and carrying them away.
“Hang on and don’t move.” She commands again and rushes out of the room. I can see Klara is fine in her crib cooing away. Nova comes back and sets clothes on the sink. “You can shower here. I’ll clean up when you finish.”
I stare at the gray sweatpants and shirt. “Those are mine.” I acknowledge, somewhat in shock. “I left those at your apartment when we were dating.”
“Yes, I remember.” She mumbles and looks away from me. “You can put your clothes on the floor. I’ll throw them away along with the bath mat. I’ll wait until you’re done to clean.” She rushes out, shutting the door behind her.
I strip, shower, and step over the piles of shit and mess. I slip into my clean clothes and notice they smell like Nova. She always smells sweet, like a cupcake. When I come out Nova is rocking Klara to sleep. I give her a small smile and go back into the bathroom and clean up the disaster a four month old created. Nova tells me where her trash bags are and to put them in the outside trash can. When I come back to check on Klara, she’s fast asleep. Nova is gently laying her into the crib.
“May we still talk?” I softly ask. Nova nods and we head to the living room. “I guess I ran everyone off. I didn’t mean to ruin family night.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. They were leaving when you came.”
“Was Liam leaving as well?” I gibe at her.
“Don’t, Teo. Let’s not go there.” She shakes her head. “You wanted to talk. I’m hoping it’s not about Liam.”
“Is there something going on? Have you had sex?”
Nova’s cheeks turn bright red and she drops her head. “He kissed me once. You saw it. Nothing else has happened.” She lifts her head and looks directly at me. “None of this is your business. If this is what you wanted to talk about, then we’re finished.”
“I’m sorry.” I hold up my hands. “I wanted to talk about Klara and a custody agreement. I was given the suggestion of an arbitrator, and it seems like a good idea, but I think we can do it on our own. At least, I’m hoping you’re not like the other back-stabbing females I know. Well, you sort of are because you lied to me.”
“Teo.” She sighs and shakes her head.
“Look,” I state firmly. “Let’s work this out together.”
Nova crosses her arms and leans back. “I’m tired. I’m certain you’ve had a long day as well. We can talk about this another time.” She stands and goes toward the door.
“Tomorrow then?” I push a bit.
“I’ll text you.” She opens the door.
I study her for a beat. The sweet Nova I loved is now back to the guarded, nervous, scared girl who used to hide behind Hamilton. “Okay.”
Chapter Seven
Nova
I TYPE UP the last memo for Uncle Oliver and give it to Franceen. My feet are killing me because all I’ve done today is run and run. I know this is part of my job, but I need to get some comfortable shoes. I realize it’s late in the afternoon and I’ve pumped twice. How did I find the time? I have no freaking clue.
“Looks like someone might be hungry.” Liam comes up behind me as I’m standing at the copy machine.
The smile is clear on my lips when I turn around and face him. “I’m too busy to eat.”
“What? You let me know who your boss is and I’ll kick his ass.”
I laugh and gather up my copies. There’s something about Liam. I’m not sure what it is, but I enjoy his company. When he came over last night to join my family for dinner, I felt like a million dollars as he beamed over me. It’s nice to have someone care for me. It’s been a long time. Is Liam older? Yes, but what does it matter? I’ve never been a judgmental person and age doesn’t matter.
“Come on. Take ten minutes and have a sandwich with me.” He takes my hand in his.
I smirk. “Fine but not a minute more.”
I let him lead me back to my office and setting on my desk is a ham and cheese sandwich, a small bag of chips and a large bottle of water. It’s right off the food cart, but it’s sweet.
“Thank you.” I kiss his cheek. Normally, I’m not one to make the first move–or any move for that manner–but I did.
“You’re most welcome.”
>
I sit behind my desk and he hops up on it and watches over me. He tells me about working on the quarterly reports and heading down to Nashua in the morning. Uncle Oliver isn’t making the trip, therefore I don’t have to go. At least, not yet. The season starts next week. I’m not sure I’m ready for the travel schedule. I eat everything he brought me and enjoyed every bite. After a few quick “see you laters” Liam goes back to his office, and I go back to work.
As I’m reading through some emails, a question hits me. Am I in a relationship? I only have the time I had with Teo to compare it to. Of course, it ended in disaster.
Me: Either of you have anything going on tonight?
Macy: I’m off work at six.
Janan: I’m free.
Me: I am in need of a girl’s night with you both and a four month old.
Janan: I’m in.
Macy: Tell me what time and I’ll be there.
I love my family.
JANAN IS ON the floor playing with Klara as Macy and I sit on the couch sipping hot tea. I had made us dinner. I love cooking and creating new dishes for everyone to enjoy. The problem is I’m too busy to cook anymore. However, tonight I made sure I did. Klara had assisted me, by sitting in her high chair, drooling all over herself.
“Have you talked to Liam? Maybe he thinks this is just casual and you’re over thinking it.” Janan makes strange faces at Klara, causing her to giggle.
“I’ve not talked to him. I mean, we’ve had a great couple of nights together,” I tell them.
“I liked him last night. He’s engaging, smart, and he’s great with Klara.” Macy adds in. “Taden likes him. Plus, if Oliver didn’t want this to happen, it wouldn’t be.”
“She does have a point.” Janan smirks. “As much as I like Liam and I think you two are a cute pair, I want to talk more about Teo.”
I groan.
“Are you going with the lawyer Uncle Oliver suggested?”
“I am. I called and set up an appointment for tomorrow.” I sigh. “I know Teo wants to do this just the two of us, but we need something on paper.”
We’re all quiet for a moment as the reality sets in for us all. Klara is mine and she’s a Long, but she’s Teo’s and an Elgin too, and part Swedish. She deserves to know her father and where he came from. My father never wanted me and after Mom died I really only had Uncle Tad and Janan. I want Klara to have the world and everything I can give her.
“It’ll all work out, Nova. Just give it time.” Macy smiles.
I like Macy and she’s a good fit for Uncle Tad. They seem to be perfect for each other. I’m glad Uncle Tad found happiness because Sharon was never nice to him.
“I’ll talk to the lawyer and see what he has to say. Teo is good with Klara and I know he loves her. He’s good.” I repeat the last part again, but it’s true.
“I don’t think any of us doubt Teo and his ability to be a father.” Macy takes my hand. “Talking to a professional isn’t a dreadful idea. It’s best for everyone.”
I nod. I’m glad Macy reaffirmed talking to a lawyer. My hands shook when I called this afternoon and spoke to the secretary. I’m already a wreck for the appointment, but I need to do it for Klara.
She’s my everything.
I STARE AT my phone–blankly–trying to figure out how to reply to Teo’s texts. I just don’t know what to reply.
Teo: You said you would text me yesterday.
Teo: I knew you would try to keep Klara from me.
Teo: Are you too damn busy with your boyfriend for me to see my daughter?
I know I said I would text him, but I got sidetracked. I don’t bring it up to the attorney because I know Teo is mad at me. It’s my fault because I should have texted him. The attorney and I had a long talk and he seems to be a shark. He’s ready to cut Teo in half. Every other weekend, one week in the summer, and a pile of child support is his plan. I don’t want this for Klara, or Teo.
Me: I’m sorry I didn’t text you yesterday. I take full blame. It wasn’t meant to hurt you. I was with Macy and Janan. They came over and had dinner with me. I would like to talk to you. Calmly. I’m heading to the office now. If you want to meet me there.
He doesn’t respond, but I know he’ll show up. He’s mad at me, and I know he is going to be for a while. I call Emma to check on Klara. My update is simple...she’s napping. I love my little girl. She’s very predictable.
When I step off the elevator and turn toward my office, there sits Teo. Yep, he’s beyond pissed. “Let’s talk in here.” He stands and follows me into the office. I close the door in hopes it keeps his voice down.
“N, I’m pissed.” He crosses his arms and glares at me. “You were at a lawyer’s office? I thought we would work this out between us.”
I’m overwhelmed. “Oh...I...well...um…” No words are coming to my mind to say. I take a deep breath. “You were right. We can do this on our own. I didn’t like what the lawyer said. I believe and know you are an amazing man and father. Klara needs her dad and not just every other weekend.”
It’s Teo’s turn to stammer. “Okay then,” he says perplexed. I think he wasn’t prepared for me to give in so easily.
“I promise to text you when I say. I promise we can work out a valid and happy agreement for Klara. I give you my word.” I hold out my hand to shake on it.
He stares at it as if I’m going to shock him with electricity or harm him in some matter. “I’m coming over tonight to see my daughter.”
He brushes past me and out the office door without a glance back.
At least he didn’t yell.
I FINISH TYPING up the minutes of Uncle Oliver’s meeting for the day and email them to him. I have Klara right next to me in her high chair, banging her toys.
“Are you typing too?” I ask her. She grins at me and I see it. “Sweet monkey, is that a little tooth I see?” I gently pull her lip down and see the tiny white peeking from her pink gums. “You’re getting big already. It worries me because it means soon you’ll be walking, talking and you’ll probably talk like Janan, which scares me.” I smooth her bangs back. “Looking up to Janan is great because she’s an amazing role model, but please don’t cuss like her. You’ll hear it enough from Uncle Taden on the ice.”
Klara babbles, and I’m going to take it as an affirmation of her understanding my words.
“Okay, sweet monkey, I believe it’s time for you to get ready for bed.” As I pick her up, I hear a knock on the door. “I’m certain it’s your dad and there might be some yelling, but it’s only because your mother screwed up. Again. Also, I’m certain telling you these things shouldn’t cause you to go into an early therapy.”
Klara burps in my face.
“No one ever talks about this fun stuff on the blogs.” I scoff and open the door. Teo’s blue eyes are staring back at me.
“See I told you.” I bounce Klara. “Hi, Teo.”
“Hi.” He nods and I step to the side to let him in.
“I fed her and bathed her. You can play with her a bit and put her to bed.” I hand her off to him. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
I want Klara to bond with Teo. Actually, she already is. She loves her daddy. Many girls have fathers in their lives. I didn’t have one and I always felt the void. I love Uncle Tad, and I’m forever in his debt since he took me in. God knows where I’d be without him and Janan. I clean up the kitchen, pick up the toys in the living room, start a load of laundry and go check on Klara and Teo. I sneak around the corner and peek in. Teo is speaking to Klara in Swedish. I don’t understand a single word of it, but it’s hypnotic to listen to him. He used to say things to me, and it would make my heart flutter, and my stomach flip–I loved it.
“Jag älskar dig, söt flicka.” He kisses her forehead and I tiptoe away from them to keep their moment alive. I don’t want to interrupt them.
I sit on the couch and think about Teo. He’s right. I shouldn’t have forgotten about texting him. I should have talked to him before consu
lting a lawyer. I need to focus on Klara and the custody agreement between us. I grab a pen and paper. I hurriedly write down the outline of the agreement. It’s important for us both.
“I think she snores.” Teo snickers as he comes into the living room.
“She’s getting a cold. It’s part of the teething process. At least, according to the doctor.” I pick up the notepad. “May we talk for a moment?”
He looks skeptical.
“Please, Teo.”
The reluctant expression is clear, but after a few seconds he sits down. “What’s up?”
“You were right. I should not have forgotten to text you. I should not have gone to the lawyer after you suggested for us to work it out. I’m truly sorry, Teo. I hope you can give me a second chance here.”
Teo leans over, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing his hands together. “I don’t give second chances. The last time I even thought about it, it was for you, and it blew up in my face. Don’t be offended if I’m not jumping up and down to say yes.”
The tears burn my eyes because I hurt him, and it hurts me to know this. “I never wanted to keep her a secret. I should have talked to you last year.”
“Well, you didn’t and then you went on to lie–to my face–about Klara.”
“I’m sorry.” I repeat and the tears begin to roll down my cheeks.
“Damn.” He mumbles. “I hate it when you cry.”
I wipe my cheeks. “I guess we’re finished then.”
He takes a deep breath and looks at me. “No, we’re not. Shit, N.” He rubs his face and then leans back. “Let’s talk, but if you fuck me over, I swear on my life I’ll take your ass to court so fast you won’t know what hit you. I’m finished with hockey and you know this. I don’t care about Oliver’s influences or whatever. This is my daughter and her life and I want to be a part of it. I thought, for a split second, I thought you and I could be civil, but I don’t fucking care anymore. I care and love her. The end. Period.”
Teo’s pale blue eyes are hard and his tone is serious.
