“Since I won’t be mucking stalls, guess I’ll romp with Linus.”
“I highly recommend it. Dancing around with a foal is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.” He folded up the wheelchair and tucked it under his arm. “I’ll come back in a while to check on you.”
“Okay.”
“See you soon.” Touching the brim of his hat in a typical cowboy farewell, he turned and left. She watched him make the long walk back to the barn lugging that wheelchair. She’d been so busy thinking about having sex with him that she’d temporarily forgotten what this morning’s activity had been about.
Or more accurately, who it had been about. As Brant had said, Josh was the reason behind everything they were doing, yet he wasn’t a participant in any of it. She was determined to change that. He simply had to come out with her tomorrow.
Turning around, she located Lucy and Linus. The foal was nursing while Lucy tore at the tender new grass with her strong teeth. Sunlight played over Lucy’s golden coat and Linus’s soft peach-colored fuzz. They were heartbreakingly beautiful. She pulled out her phone and took picture after picture.
She was still snapping away when Linus finished nursing and turned to look at her. Switching to video, she began talking to both him and Lucy. Mother and son started toward her and she kept filming until their noses were right in front of the screen. She couldn’t stop laughing.
She backed away to see if they’d follow. They did. Clicking off the phone, she turned around and began to jog. When she glanced over her shoulder, she saw that Lucy was no longer interested and had gone back to grazing but Linus bounced along behind her. When she swerved he swerved, cavorting and kicking up his heels.
She turned the phone to video again while she jogged slowly backward. He followed, his scrawny tail waving. “We’re dancing, Linus!” With a playful snort he bucked and raced past her, his slender legs flashing in the sun.
As she turned and kept filming his race around the pasture, her throat tightened. She loved playing with this sweet baby horse. Josh would love it, too. But before he could truly enjoy the experience, he had to get on his feet.
* * *
THE REST OF the day went quickly and Aria had no more time alone with Brant. When he returned to the pasture, he had Whitney and Ty with him. They’d finished installing the new showerheads and had decided to reward themselves by visiting Linus, the ranch’s new superstar.
After taking the mare and foal to the barn, they all walked to the bathhouse to admire the new showerheads. Then they checked on the cleaning job Lexi and Cade were doing. Aria got a kick out of watching the foster brothers tease each other even if it did mean she and Brant had constant chaperones.
The number of chaperones increased by two when Rosie and Herb came home loaded with groceries. Everyone gathered for a late lunch and Rosie grabbed the opportunity to get everyone’s advice on cabin assignments.
As Aria participated in the lively discussion, she pictured sixteen teenagers on the premises. Josh really should get out here before they arrived and she was the one who had to convince him.
She helped clean up the dishes and then Brant walked her out to the van.
“I can go fetch the wheelchair if you want,” he said. “Maybe you could get a partial refund. I don’t think we have a problem with any of the horses, including Linus.”
“No, we just have a problem with my brother.” She paused at the driver’s door and turned to him. “But could you stow the wheelchair in the barn for now? I plan to have Josh’s wheelchair mounted on the van when I drive out tomorrow morning.”
He shoved his hat to the back of his head and gazed at her without saying anything, but his expressive eyes said it all. He didn’t want her putting pressure on Josh.
“It’ll be fine.” She slid her hands up his chest and savored the firm muscles beneath his shirt. “I took more pictures and a video for him while I was out with Linus today.”
“Okay.” He slipped an arm around her waist and drew her in for a very sweet kiss.
The gentleness of it moved her. It wasn’t a kiss of lust, but one of caring. That made it very precious, indeed.
Easing back slowly, he gave her a warm smile of encouragement.
Her heart stalled. She would miss the sex when he was gone, but kisses and smiles like these didn’t come along every day. He’d begun to care for her, but he’d cared about that puppy he’d rescued, too. Then he’d given it away.
“Hey.” He cupped her cheek. “If that was the worst kiss in the world, just tell me and I’ll give you a better one.”
“Just the opposite. It was the best kiss in the world.”
He shook his head. “Nope. That’s impossible.”
“I’m the one rating it and I say it’s the best.”
“And I’m here to tell you that the best kiss in the world hasn’t been delivered to your sweet lips...yet.”
“Oh? And when should I expect it?”
“No telling. I get more inspired every time. At some point I may peak, but I’m not there yet. When I finally say ‘I can’t do any better than that,’ you’ll have experienced the best kiss in the world. But not until then.”
Of course he’d made her smile. He was talented that way. “Thanks for clearing it up for me. Sounds as if we have an interesting evening ahead of us.”
“I can guaran-damn-tee it. But don’t bring pie.”
“I won’t. Wouldn’t want to be redundant.”
“You couldn’t be if you tried.” He gave her a different kiss, a brisk, time-to-get-going kiss. Then he released her and helped her in. “Matilda, get her home safe.”
She leaned out the window. “See you tonight.”
“You bet. Now go before I have to kiss you again.”
“Right.” She put the van in Reverse.
Brant occupied her thoughts during the drive home, but when she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex, her stomach rolled. If Josh wouldn’t agree to go tomorrow...but he would. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Keeping that thought uppermost in her mind, she knocked on his door with the code tap they’d worked out when they were kids. He opened it and pushed his wheelchair out of the way so she could come in. He looked as disheveled as he had the day before, but at least he hadn’t argued with her about interrupting whatever he’d been doing.
He hadn’t been playing video games. Instead he’d been watching television coverage of a riding event, one he would have competed in if he hadn’t fallen. He picked up the remote from his lap and clicked off the TV.
She walked immediately over to his couch and sat. After experiencing a wheelchair today, she understood the psychological impact of looking up at people who remained standing. Not pleasant. She gestured toward the screen. “Why torture yourself?”
He shrugged. “Everybody needs a fantasy life.”
“Josh, I want you to have a real life.”
“Sorry, sis. That’s not the hand I was dealt.” His matter-of-fact tone was more chilling than if he’d become angry.
“I danced with Linus today.”
For a brief moment curiosity flickered in his brown eyes. Then it disappeared. “Now you’re making stuff up just to mess with me.”
“No, I’m not. Let me show you the video.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Damn it, Josh! You can look at eventing on TV but you can’t look at a two-day-old colt running in a field?”
“Oh, what the hell. You’re going to keep bugging me until I see your precious Linus so we might as well get this over with.”
She ignored the sarcasm in his voice and pulled up the video on her phone. Leaving the couch, she crouched next to him and held it so they could both see. Yesterday she might have stood and leaned over him, but her perspective had changed.
“That’s the first section, when I got them both to come over to me and they put their noses practically on the screen. Is that funny or what? Look at his cute blaze. I wonder if
he inherited that from his dad.”
Josh didn’t comment.
Determined to get a reaction, she clicked to the next video. “Here’s the part I meant about dancing with him. I got him to chase me and then I turned around and we sort of...danced together.” The video was jerky and her breathing and laughter were really loud, but Linus was adorable.
She became absorbed in the video. “He’s bonding with me already and he needs to bond with you. If you come out to the ranch with me tomorrow, things will be fairly quiet. Then you can come again on Tuesday, before the kids get there.”
The video stopped and still Josh hadn’t said anything.
“Look, I know you’re reluctant.” She took the phone and returned to the couch. “But I can drive the van right up to the barn door. We’ll get you into the wheelchair and then you can roll right down to—”
“Who’s we?”
“Me and Brant, the guy who’s starting the foal. He’s doing a terrific job. Linus is already comfortable with people.”
“Would he be comfortable with a wheelchair?”
“Yes, he would!” She sensed victory. “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but I rented one today and sat in it while Brant pushed me into the stall. Linus is fine with it. And I can tell you, I learned a lot about what it’s like to be in a wheelchair.”
“So you realize that on a place like Thunder Mountain, which I’ve researched online, by the way, that I’d be confined to the barn. No rolling around the property for this boy.”
“That’s the other really cool thing, Josh. Herb Padgett wants you to consult with him on making Thunder Mountain wheelchair accessible for future students and visitors. He plans to put in some asphalt paths and ramps, but he would love to have your advice before he does that.”
He gazed at her, his expression unreadable. “You’ve been busy.”
“Because I want you to get acquainted with this foal. And I want you to ultimately get out of that chair. Making the ranch wheelchair accessible would be fabulous but you won’t really need any of it. I’m betting you’ll be walking around the place before summer’s end. So what do you say? Want to come with me tomorrow?”
“No.”
She drew in a sharp breath as if she’d been slapped. “Why not?”
“Have you noticed how many times you’ve said ‘I want’?”
“I haven’t noticed but—”
“This isn’t about what you want, Aria. It’s about what I want. And don’t want. What I don’t want is some burly cowboy lifting me from the van into a wheelchair so I can roll myself down the length of the effing barn to see a foal I’ll never be able to dance with! Can you get that? Please? And leave me the hell alone?”
“I can’t leave you alone because you’ve given up! You’ve accepted your fate as you call it, and you won’t fight anymore. Don’t do this to yourself, Josh.”
He took a deep breath. “I can do whatever I choose, Aria. This is my life, not yours. As I mentioned before, I never asked you to breed Lucy so that I’d have something to distract me.”
“But if you’d just come out to the ranch and look at him, you’d—”
“I’d be even more aware of my limitations. I need you to stop, Aria. Just stop.”
“I won’t.” She left the couch and headed for the door. “You could be out of that chair if you wanted to be. I love you and I refuse to stand by while you flush your life down the—”
“It’s not up to you, sis.”
Despair clawed at her, but she fought it with everything she had. “You’re not giving up, Josh. I won’t let you!” And she stormed out the door. No brother of hers would languish in a wheelchair when he was perfectly capable of getting out of it.
17
ALTHOUGH BRANT CRAVED Aria’s company, having his brothers around was a good second best. The opportunity to become better acquainted with the women in their lives was a bonus. Damon and his redheaded fiancée had returned from their weekend visit with Phil’s dad and stepmother and they showed up just in time for dinner.
Without missing a beat, Rosie directed Ty and Brant to convert the pool table in the rec room into a dining table. In minutes plates and utensils had been transferred and two additional places were set for Damon and Phil. Everyone gathered for the meal and discussion began immediately about plans for making the ranch wheelchair accessible.
“But I’ve realized it can’t be done over the Fourth,” Herb said. “Our chief builders will be on their honeymoon.”
“We will.” Damon reached over and took Phil’s hand. “But we can work something out before or after, right, sweetheart?”
“Absolutely. It’s a terrific idea. Since this has come up, I take it Josh has been out here with his wheelchair.”
“Not yet,” Herb said.
“Is that because he’s worried about the logistics? Damon and I could rig up something temporary, at least a ramp so he can navigate in and out of the barn.”
“I don’t think that’s the issue,” Rosie said. “According to Aria, he’s not interested in coming out to see Linus at all.”
“Oh, dear.” Phil looked upset. “Aria was so excited. She thought for sure he would be, too.”
“She’s still planning to drive him out here tomorrow,” Brant said. “Let’s hope she does. Even if there’s no ramp, I can help him in and out of the barn.”
“Paul Bunyan to the rescue,” Cade said with a chuckle.
Damon laughed. “I know, right? But Phil and I could build a ramp if you guys want one.”
“Let’s wait and see what happens,” Herb said. “I’d like Josh to give us advice on the layout of the walkways and the ramps, but first we have to see if he’ll show up. Let’s not build anything or do anything until we know one way or the other.”
“I sure hope he does come out, and soon,” Phil said. “Aria’s crazy about that brother of hers. This must be breaking her heart.”
Rosie sighed. “It probably is.”
“Sometimes you have to give a person time to come around, though,” Herb said. “I’m willing to do that.”
Until this very moment Brant had agreed completely with that sentiment. He’d told Aria as much this afternoon. But Phil’s comment stuck with him. This was breaking Aria’s heart. The longer he thought about it the less willing he was to give Josh time to come around. But he needed to consider his options.
Meanwhile the conversation had shifted to Damon and Phil’s wedding at the end of the month and he promised to be there. He wasn’t about to miss it.
But he’d be finished training Linus in a couple of weeks. Ending the training theoretically meant ending the affair with Aria, and yet she’d probably be at the wedding. Treating her like a casual friend would be difficult, not to mention insensitive. He’d still want her and he’d bet she would still want him.
Continuing their affair for one short weekend didn’t seem right, either. In the past he’d successfully avoided this kind of awkward situation by staying away from any woman connected to Thunder Mountain. He’d conveniently forgotten about that strategy with Aria, probably because his brain cells had been stewing in lust.
Oh, who was he kidding? The relationship had gone way beyond lust and the wedding wasn’t the problem. Aria wasn’t fitting into the neat little compartment he’d designated for his short-term relationships.
She was supposed to be temporary, like the other women he’d had in his life, but when he looked into her violet eyes, she didn’t feel temporary. Thinking back, he had to admit she never had.
Although she didn’t want a committed relationship any more than he did, they’d shared some extraordinary moments in the short time they’d been together. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so bonded with a woman. Ty had seen it right away. Cade and Lexi had, too.
So now what? He’d noticed Aria looking at him in a way that could mean she was rethinking her independent stance. To be honest, so was he. His cherished pattern didn’t look quite so wonderful anymore.
With new eyes he saw the depth of understanding between Rosie and Herb. Part of him longed for that, and it wasn’t even the part assigned to make Aria really happy tonight. His heart had become involved. Those emotions were raw and new, but he recognized what was happening. He was falling in love.
He even knew why. Besides being beautiful and sexy, she was strong, strong enough to go the distance. He’d convinced himself that unconditional love didn’t exist, but the evidence was all around that it did—Herb and Rosie, Damon and Phil, Cade and Lexi. Aria’s refusal to give up on her brother told him she was made of the same stuff. She kept her promises.
Thinking about his future had never been a priority, but it was now. He wanted Aria to be a part of it. She might reject the idea because of her personal plans, but he’d have to put it out there, and soon.
He’d always imagined that making a commitment was all about him and his decisions, but it wasn’t. If he needed and wanted her in his life and she preferred to concentrate on her plans instead...he didn’t want to contemplate the pain involved. He had to risk it, though. There was no going back.
Hanging out with loving couples only emphasized his new direction. Damon and Phil exchanged secret smiles and Ty kept his arm draped over the back of Whitney’s chair. Lexi and Cade teased each other unmercifully, as always, which was how they showed their love. Herb and Rosie’s connection was subtle and always present—his hand lightly brushing her shoulder, her warm glance when he refilled her coffee mug.
Brant had never felt like the odd man out in a group like this, but he did tonight. He joked around with everyone because that was what everyone expected of him. But through the toasts, the stories and the laughter, he missed Aria.
After dessert, which was chocolate cake instead of cherry pie, thank God, Rosie insisted that everyone else could clean up the dishes while he took Damon and Phil down to the barn for a peek at Linus.
“You two go on out to the porch,” Phil said. “I’ll be right with you.”
Brant had noticed that she’d turned down a glass of wine at dinner and that she’d made a trip to the bathroom halfway through the meal. Once they were out the front door, he glanced at Damon. “Is she—?”
Cowboy All Night (Thunder Mountain Brotherhood, Book 5) Page 17
