by Lory Wendy
Julian shakes his head and sits up next to me on the bed, also leaning back against the headboard. “No, it makes you sound like you were blessed.”
I snort because he’s full of it. I was spoiled. Blaire and I both were. Though she always worked, even in high school and even when she was getting herself in trouble. I’d always been content to live off whatever allowance my parents gave me. “Which is why when I decided to get a job no one would hire me. I hadn’t graduated yet, and had zero job experience.”
“They won’t hire you unless you have experience, but no one wanted to give you the experience you needed.” He nods.
“Exactly!”
With a small chuckle, he pulls my hand in his. “That’s the way it goes for most of us. Go on.”
I sigh and close my eyes, hoping it’ll make the rest of what I need to say tumble out without much thought.
My growling stomach, however, decides it’s time for an interlude.
“Holy shit.” Julian laughs.
I smack his shoulder. “I haven’t eaten all day.” Or much in the last few days, actually. Nothing like the stress of wondering where your one-night stand, who you’re already head over heels for, is hiding to suppress your appetite.
“Come on.” He pulls us both from the bed.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m going to make you something to eat while you keep talking.”
He slides on his boxer briefs while I grab a T-shirt from my closet and head into the kitchen. What Julian ends up “making” for me to eat, is leftover takeout he heats up in the microwave. I eat every bit of it, even offering him some which he turns down before we make our way back to my room. This time, I still sit up against the headboard, but instead of sitting with me, Julian lies on his side with his head on my lap.
“Finish your story.” He pinches my thigh.
“I mean, that’s really it. You asked me how I started working at Imperial and that’s how. I didn’t have experience to work anywhere else but as a waitress. And Blaire got me the job.” Every word of what I’m saying is actually the truth. However, I know it’s not the version Julian is fishing for.
He sighs, and I feel the tickle of his eyelash against my thigh as he opens and closes his eyes. “Please don’t piss me off by lying to me.” Pushing himself up, he sits back so we’re facing each other and though we’re sitting, I’m also half straddling him. “Rocky told me what he walked in on.”
Fuck. The food I’d just consumed rises to my chest and too many emotions swirl inside of me at once. I had a feeling Rocky told him something but hearing him say it is something else.
“I need to hear from you what that was about.” Julian leans in, bending his upper half to force eye contact me. “Because if he touched you—”
“He didn’t,” I rush out, defending Stretch in a way he doesn’t deserve. But if Julian knew the truth... shit, I think about Terrence and how nearly two weeks since the fight he’s still nursing faded bruises. I can’t imagine how Julian would react to my old boss.
“So then why the fuck were you in his office with your shirt off?”
“He never touched me,” I reiterate, telling the truth. “He just touched himself. And he liked watching me when he did.”
Julian's jaw ticks as he nods for me to go on. But I don’t want to.
“Talk,” he demands.
“Julian it’s not that—”
“I said talk, Selena. Either you tell me now, or I torture it out of him. Your choice.”
“That’s it,” I whisper. “Nothing else.”
“And what did you do when he was…” He narrows his eyes.
“Nothing, I… mostly I just stood there.”
“But without your clothes on?”
I nod.
Julian’s entire face contorts and the glow of the street lights sneaking into the room, cast an evil shadow over his face. “You’re lying.” His voice drops, and every word comes out menacing. “There’s no way he just jacked off to you in the room and didn’t try more.”
“Well, he did try!” The comment comes out before I can stop it. My feeling defensive over being called a liar making my common sense lapse. Why did I just admit that? “He tried, okay,” I repeat quietly, knowing there’s no sense of lying and that my words have put this story at the point of no return.
“So tell me what happened,” he says, seemingly more calm now. “Tell me exactly what the fuck happened. Start from the beginning and don’t try and water it down like you were doing. I’m already pissed. There’s no need trying to spare me now.”
“Are you pissed at me?” I feel the need ask.
He shakes his head and leans over to cup my cheek. “No, sweetheart, not at you. I don’t like that you’re lying to me, though.”
I’m not lying so much as I’m just leaving some key things out I don’t want him to know, but it’s not just for my sake. The full story isn’t mine to tell. And admitting everything would expose so much more than he needs to know. “I don’t know how much of this Blaire has told Rocky so—”
“Stop stalling.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and swing my legs over the side of the bed, wanting to put some distance between us. There’s no going back now, and there’s no point in sugar coating. There’s only the truth. “It all started at the end of last summer.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“After our parents died, we used their life insurance money to pay off the house, the cars, other little debts, my hospital bill from after the accident, and my tuition. We saved what little we had left after that, but eventually the money just… ran out.” Not only were neither of us working at the time, but Blaire was always looking for some get rich quick scheme and made some bad financial turns. We learned quickly it didn’t matter what you have in the bank. If you’re only taking money out and not putting any back in, then it’s a matter of time before you bottom out. “After a few of Blaire’s failed business ventures, we got to a place where we could barely buy groceries. So Blaire went back to work. She started working at Imperial first. Then after she got in, she got me a job there too.”
“As?”
“We were both waitresses.” That is until she saw how much more money the dancers were making compared to us and wanted to make the switch. “When she started hinting at wanting to dance, I begged her not to, but when I realized her mind was made up, I begged her to at least not do it there. As far as I know, she never took it past a mere thought. Though now I think about it, maybe she auditioned somewhere else?” I try to remember the story of the friend she’d made at another club who tried getting her in there but failed. Shannon or something like that, but the memory is a foggy one, told to me at a time I wasn’t really paying attention. “Anyway, one day out of the blue she got fired.”
“Why?”
I flash back to the memory as if it’s playing live in front of my eyes. It was the day everything changed. I hadn’t worked that night, or for the few days before because I had been home studying for midterms when Blaire came home from work early and hysterical. When I’d asked her what happened, she could barely get the words out. Still, through her choppy sobs, I understood what went down. She’d been fired after Stretch caught her stealing money from his safe.
“As stupid as it is to try stealing from your job, I was more worried about the why.”
“What did she say?” Julian, who is now sitting directly behind me with his thighs on either side of me, whispers.
“The simple answer was she needed the money.”
“What’s the not simple one?” he urges, hugging me from behind.
“She’d made some bad investment.” I shrug, not because I don’t care, but because the whole story still remains fuzzy and confusing. “And I guess in the process she’d borrowed some money from some guys and was scared they were going to come after her.”
Behind me, Julian tenses and drops his arms from my sides. “Wait, what?”
I cringe with a no
d. That had been my reaction too. Though mine was more what the fuck?
“Did she say who?” he asks quietly.
“No, she wouldn’t tell me, and to be honest, it didn’t even matter. All I cared about was helping her get out of whatever trouble she’d gotten into. She was there for me when I needed her and I was going to return the favor. So, I went to Stretch.”
“Okay, I know this is really beside the point but why is his name Stretch?”
I snort. He’d gotten his nickname long before I worked there, and when I’d asked, one of the girls explained to me how it started out as ‘Stretch Armstrong’ because of his creepy grabby ways with the girls.
Julian says nothing, and after a few beats of silence, I realize he’s not going to.
“Anyway,” I say. “I went to Stretch, told him what Blaire told me, and begged him not to fire her. She needed the job more than ever now if she had any chance of paying these guys back. He wasn’t having it. ‘No way am I going to let a whore who steals from me back in,’ he’d said. He refused to give her job back, so I asked him to at least not call the cops and report her for the theft.”
“And he agreed?” His skepticism is obvious and with reason.
I push away from Julian and take a few steps away from the bed. While I mull over how to answer, a car door slams. I peek around the curtains and watch as one of my neighbors, dressed in hospital scrubs, runs back inside the house then back to her car. It’s early, with the hint of the sun rising in the distance. Idly, I wonder if she’s heading to work or just getting back in from a night shift. We weren’t ever close, but we were cool. After my parents died, she’d bring over casseroles and leave with the obligatory “you girls let me know if you need anything.” For a brief second, Blaire had mentioned wanting to be a nurse just like her. Oh, how different things would have been.
“Did he agree?” Julian's voice cuts through my thoughts, eager and anxious.
Nodding, I turn back to him, then focus back outside to my neighbor’s now empty driveway. “At first, yes, but after a couple of days, he called me in his office and told me he didn’t feel right about letting a thief get off. And that if I wanted my sister to stay out of jail, then I was going to have to get him off.”
Julian’s large intake of air rivals mine, and even from a few feet away, I can feel his angry anticipation hanging in the air. There isn’t much more to tell though. It all happened so fast, and from that day to the time Rocky walked into the office, it felt like only weeks had passed. “I told him no, of course. I refused to touch him and told him I’d rather die than let him lay a hand on me, so our routine became my compromise.” First I agreed to take off my shirt while he masturbated with me in the room. Then I started taking off my bra, then the rest of my clothes. The last time, the time before Rocky came in, I’d started sitting across from him stark naked with my legs wide open. He never touched me and I never touched him, but I knew it was a matter of time.
“He was wearing you down.”
Yet to turn away from staring at my neighbor’s house, I have no idea what Julian’s face looks like right now, but his voice is almost impassive.
“It would have worked,” I admit. “I looked it up, and the amount of money Blaire had stolen would have been considered a felony. I couldn’t let my sister go to jail when half of the reason we didn’t have money was because we used it for my hospital bills and my tuition. Until I was able to pay the money back, I was willing to do this for her.”
“So you were willing to live in hell so your sister didn’t go to jail.”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
“But for how long?”
I hadn’t thought about the exact length of our agreement. In fact, I’d tried not to think about the specifics at all. “However long it took, I guess.”
“I am so sorry.” The bed creaks and a few seconds later I’m in his arms with my face pushed against his chest. I swallow back a couple of tears. I’d been able to deal with this quietly and without taking it personally, but now that I’d come out and tell Julian about it… the whole thing made me feel dirty. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he repeats, tightening his hold.
“It’s not your fault.” I hug him back.
“Sweetheart, I—”
“I hate that you know,” I speak over him.
“No, please don’t think like that.” He leads us both back to the bed, lying us both down underneath my blanket. “I’m glad you told me—that you trusted me enough to tell me.”
But it’s not true. I didn’t tell him because of trust or because I wanted to confide in him. I told him because I knew I had no choice. He would have found out one way or another if he didn’t already know anyway.
Thinking about what he would do, and what he might do now, sends a wave of panic shooting up my spine. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”
“I never do anything stupid.”
“Really?” I lean back to give him the stink eye. “What would you call Terrence?”
“I wouldn’t call him anything.”
And I’m the smartass? “I saw him today. It looks like he got a pretty bad beating recently.”
Julian shrugs but doesn’t deny or confirm having anything to do with it. Then suddenly, he snaps his attention back to me. “Wait, you said you saw Terrence at the club, tonight?”
“Well, yeah, where else would I have seen him?”
“Rocky was supposed to fire him.”
I hadn’t seen Rocky in the same amount of time since I’d last saw Julian. “Maybe he didn’t get around to it yet. You guys both fell off after the fight.”
With a salacious grin, he pokes my side. “If I didn’t know any better, it sounds like you missed me.”
“No, but my feelings were hurt.” Normally, I’m not sure I would admit that kind of vulnerability, but after everything I’d just admitted to him, holding it in seems pointless.
“I didn’t do that on purpose, I had a family emergency to take care of. And… honestly, I didn’t think you’d care.”
“I don’t.”
“Selena.”
I drop my head to his shoulder, mostly to hide my face from him. “Fine, maybe I cared a little bit.”
“Then why not just say that?” He pinches my side.
“Stop.” I squirm against him, still hiding my smile.
“Tell me.” He squeezes my other side.
I squeal and try to jump away from him, but he holds me tight. “Fine, I missed you.”
He brings his lips to my collarbone, skimming the area enough to leave a line of goose bumps in his wake. I lose track of all thought when he comes in close like this. “Oh…”
“If it’s any consolation, I thought about you all the time.”
“You—you did?” My breath and words come out choppy.
“Yes, of course.” His teeth graze against my jaw, moving up toward my ears.
“Where’d you go?”
“California.”
“You could have called,” I blurt then cringe.
He stills, then leans back to look at me. “Would you have answered or tried playing it all tough?”
I purse my lips because there is nothing like trying to go toe to toe with a slick motherfucker like Julian who also has your number pegged. The victorious look in his eyes tells me there’s no reason to argue my case anyway.
Smiling, he leans back on the bed. Crawling over him, I rest my hands on either side of his head. “Hi.”
Smirking, he juts out his chin. “Don’t let me stop you. It seems like you have a plan.”
That I do. I dip my head down and bring my mouth to his. Our tongues and lips tangle against each other in a war of eagerness. Pushing, pulling, sucking. He snakes his hands up the side of my hips, but I bat them away.
“I just want to take this off.” He fists my shirt. It’s almost off anyway, but I shake my head.
“Just lie back.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Shhh.”
His eyes seem to glaze over when I drop to my knees and take his boxer briefs down with me.
“Goddamn.” Julian hisses, bucking his hips.
Goddamn is right, fucker, I think to myself as I struggle to get my mouth comfortably around him. His hand tightens in my hair, almost painfully, before pulling away. “What—”
“Turn around.” He stands, bending me over the bed.
The soft fabric of my shirt tickles my back at the same time cold air hits my ass, then… “Fuck!” I pitch forward, smacking my hands down on the bed to steady myself.
“Are you okay?” Julian asks, voice husky and grip strong against my hip. His thrust caught me off guard, but my voice is lost.
I whimper and squeeze my eyes shut. Grabbing onto the blanket, I move my hips back against his, trying with all I have to keep up with him. His name falls from my lips easily. My breaths are barely controlled. One of his hands stays clamped at my side, while the other moves up, cupping one of my breasts while his thrusts are both soft and rough—a combination I feel only Julian can manage. His grunts behind me spur me on. I throw myself back into him, loving that I can feel every inch of him in this position, can feel him getting harder. He’s quieter than usual though. I realize he always is when we get into this position. I’m annoyed that my head is getting in the way. Every position works for him—on top of me, behind me, underneath me—he owns it all. But I love it most when I can feel his weight on top of me when I feel a sense of security with him—even if it’s just in my head.
