Noah knew what he was saying, he knew what the silent message was that Jesse was conveying.
And it broke his heart.
But he couldn’t let Jesse down. He wouldn’t.
“I know, baby. I know. I promised and I’ll keep that promise. I love you, Jesse,” he whispered as tears began to fall down his own cheeks.
Jesse closed his eyes. “I love you too,” he whispered.
And then Noah pulled the trigger.
The shot from his gun echoed throughout the house as Jesse’s knees buckled and he went down to the floor. Noah swore that he hit Jesse dead-center in the middle of the hidden vest but when his eyes glanced down at the man’s crumpled form there was blood….everywhere.
“You fucking bastard, you killed him!” Jacob shouted as he raised his own gun and fired.
The shot hit Noah in the shoulder, knocking him back a step and causing the fingers on his hand to open and drop his gun. But he didn’t care at that point. Because he’d killed Jesse. His sweet, amazing Jesse was gone.
Noah’s head dropped down to his chest as he cried. “Do it, Jacob. Just fucking shoot me. I don’t want to live now anyways.”
“Death is too good for you,” Jacob hissed into his ear and then the butt of his gun smashed into Noah’s temple and everything went black.
“That’s right. You remember now, don’t you?” Jacob said as he sneered at Noah.
Even if Noah wanted to hide the fact that he didn’t remember from Jacob there was no way he could. It was written all over his face as the devastation crashed over him.
“You. You took him from me, twice, Noah. And now you’re going to pay.”
Twenty-One
Morgan’s SUV flew down the two-lane road as he talked on the phone. His husband was in a chopper headed to the nearest hospital but the chopper wasn’t big enough for him to ride with them. Because they had two patients in that chopper. Luther and Jesse.
He had tried to jump into his SUV to drive but Beau had roughly yanked him out of it. When Morgan began to fight with him to get back in, Beau shoved him up against the wall and growled, “I’ll drive, Morgan.”
Morgan’s body relaxed as he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. Because Beau was right. He was in no condition to drive right now.
So, Beau drove while Morgan made his calls. He still had men out there that needed help and direction. And then there was Noah.
Fuck…..Noah.
If they didn’t find him soon, it would be too late.
“You still there, Morgan?”
Drake’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and made him remember that he was on the phone.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“Okay. I’ve got Billy trying to tap into the GPS on the Impala right now. Coop and Riley will interrogate the two gorillas while they wait for the county sheriff to come get them. And Ryan is on the road on the way to your headquarters to meet up with your men. Hopefully, wherever Jacob has Noah is somewhere near Denver and they can get to him quickly.”
“Thanks, Drake. I….”
“No, stop. Just let me take over for now. You’ve got other things to worry about. Is there any word yet on Luther?”
Morgan stared out the window as he tried to fight back his tears, “Not yet. They’re worried that the bullet nicked his liver, but they won’t know how bad it is until they get him into surgery.”
“And Jesse?”
Morgan looked into the backseat at Kelly and Cole. Cole was consoling an obviously distraught Kelly.
“He hit his head pretty hard when he fell. He’ll need stitches for sure. I know he’ll have a concussion. The impact from the bullet may have broken a few ribs. Other than that, I’m not sure.”
“You just get to the hospital and worry about them. I’ve got this, okay?”
Morgan scrubbed a hand over his face, “Thanks, Drake,” he mumbled.
“I’ll be in touch,” Drake said and then he ended the call.
Morgan could feel Beau’s eyes on him. “They’ll be okay, Morgan. All of them.”
“I hope so, Beau. I sure in the fuck hope so,” Morgan said with a sigh.
********************************
So, this is what it feels like to want to die, Noah thought as he watched his blood drip onto the floor with disinterested eyes.
The image of Jesse’s crumpled body on the floor of the cabin was the only thing he could see if he closed them so he figured he might as well watch his own life draining out onto the floor instead.
He’d had a full bladder for what felt like hours and he finally decide, fuck it, and let it go. The warmth seeped down the leg of his jeans before pooling out onto the floor, mixing with his blood.
Jacob had left him alone after Noah had remembered what he’d done and that gave Noah a chance to do what he hoped to do. The zip-ties were already digging into the skin on his wrists, so it didn’t take much to get them to pierce through. He was trying to get them deep enough to slice through the veins and hasten his demise. And even though his long-ingrained survival instincts were trying to fight what he was doing, he tamped those down. Because there was no way that he wanted to live in a world that didn’t include the beautiful light that was Jesse Miller. No way in hell.
He felt a fresh twinge that shot up his arm and he knew he’d broken through with the sharp edges of the plastic ties. It wasn’t pain that he felt. Nope. He could no longer feel pain. Nothing could be felt over the overwhelming shadow of grief that held him tight in his grip.
Jesse was gone.
And he had killed him.
Death would be welcome now, even though he didn’t deserve it.
He deserved to wallow in his misery, wandering the earth knowing that he had ended the life of someone so beautiful, someone so giving, someone so….perfect.
Tears rolled down his cheeks and fell to the floor, joining the piss and blood.
A pair of shoes appeared in his line of sight and he waited for the owner to say something.
“Jesus, you look and smell like shit,” Jacob said.
A smile lifted one corner of Noah’s mouth as he kept his eyes on the floor, “Nope, just piss. But I could probably manage the shit if you give me a few minutes.”
His head was yanked back hard by his hair, “If you shit yourself I will shove the biggest, fattest butt plug into your ass that I can find and leave it there.”
Noah’s bitter smile grew, “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Now listen here you little shit,” Jacob growled but then stopped when the door to the warehouse opened and closed.
“Jesus, what crawled in here and died,” a man’s voice said as he walked closer.
Noah tried to focus on his face because something about his voice sounded familiar, but his eyes refused to cooperate.
Jacob sighed, “Why are you here?”
“Why am I here? This is my warehouse, Jacob. I have every right to be here,” the man snapped.
Jacob pinched the bride of his nose, “I know that, Niles. But why are you here, now?”
Niles. Niles. Niles. Noah tried to place the name but couldn’t.
“I’m here now to find out why you asked me to find a man who was HIV positive for you. It is a unique request after all. I felt it necessary to find out the reason for it myself.”
“It’s really not any of your concern,” Jacob snapped.
“Oh, but that is where you are mistaken, my friend. It is entirely my concern. And would you like to know why?” he said as he narrowed his eyes.
Jacob sighed and rolled his eyes, “Why, Niles.”
“Because my best friend died of AIDS and that is not something I would wish on my worst enemy, you son of a bitch.”
Jacob’s eyes snapped open wide. “Niles, I, I, I…..”
“No. I am finished listening to you, Jacob Knight. You shot a man who is my friend, leaving him to bleed out of the floor of his home and now his husband worries. And now you want to purposely infect someone wi
th the HIV virus? No. I am done. You are fired, Jacob.”
Noah couldn’t see the movement but he could hear as Jacob swallowed hard. “Luther Santiago is a friend of yours?”
“A very dear friend, who saved my brother’s life…..twice.”
Jacob held his hands up, “Niles, I didn’t know.”
“No, you didn’t. And I am the fool for not getting the details on why you needed my men. That is what I am going to have to explain to him as I beg his forgiveness…..IF he lives, that is.” Niles looked over Jacob’s shoulder and nodded. Before Jacob could turn and look, someone grabbed him from behind, a huge behemoth of a man who wrapped an arm as thick as Jacob’s thigh around his throat while the other pinned his arms to his sides.
“Niles, you don’t want to do this,” Jacob growled.
“Oh, but that is where you’re wrong, old friend. I do want to do this. My only issue now is what exactly I’m going to do with you. Will I kill you myself? Will I turn you over to this gentleman here and let him do the honors? Or will I hand you over to Luther and Morgan to decide your fate?”
Jacob inhaled a sharp breath but then he steeled his spine and glared at Niles. “You’ll pay for this, fucker.”
Niles dramatically gasped and slapped his palm to his chest, “Fucker? I’m the fucker? No, I think not. You, sir, are the one who’s fucked now, wouldn’t you say?” His eyes flicked to the man behind Jacob, “Get him out of my sight. Lock him in one of the empty meat lockers. But turn the temperature up. I’m not a complete animal,” he said with a laugh, “Well, not all the time.”
Niles spun around to look at Noah, “Now. Whatever shall I do with you?”
“Just let me fucking die,” Noah mumbled.
Niles whipped out a switchblade and snapped it open, “Why on earth would I do that?” he said as he slid it through the plastic ties, quickly wrapping his free arm around Noah’s body to keep him from falling off the chair once he was free, “You’re going to help me regain my good graces with Luther and Morgan. I can’t very well do that if you turn up dead, now, can I? Phew, but we definitely need to get you cleaned up first.”
Twenty-Two
Morgan stepped into the hall outside of the waiting room as his phone buzzed in his hand, “Doyle,” he said.
“I believe I have something that belongs to you.”
Morgan frowned and pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at the number that, yep, was unfamiliar. “Who is this?”
“Niles. Niles Constantino.”
Morgan’s hand gripped his phone so hard that it creaked. “Is he alive?”
“Yes. But he is in need of medical attention.”
“Where?”
“I want your assurance that neither you nor Luther will retaliate for this.”
“Did you know?”
“That he was your man and Jacob was going to your home? No, I can assure you that I did not. I would never have loaned him my men if I did.”
“Where is he?”
“Do I have your assurance?”
Morgan squeezed his eyes shut as he took a few deep breaths, “My husband is in the operating room right now fighting for his life. If he pulls through then, yes, you have my word that we will not seek revenge. But,” he said with a sharp inhale, “if he dies, the only guarantee I give is that everyone involved will know my wrath. No one will be safe from me then.”
“I understand,” Niles said, “I’m texting you his location right now.”
Morgan felt his phone buzz in his hand as the text came through.
“Jacob?” Morgan said.
“He’s in my custody right now and that is where he will remain. When Luther recovers, and I know he will because that S.O.B. is too stubborn to die, I will set up a meeting for us all to discuss Jacob Knight’s fate.”
“Thank you,” Morgan whispered.
“No need for that. If Luther needs anything, if you need me to hire the best surgeons or specialists, anything at all, you have my number now. Use it,” he said and then he ended the call.
Morgan’s hand reached out to steady himself on the wall because in that moment, standing seemed incomprehensible.
“Are you okay, Sir?” a passing nurse said.
“I will be once I know my husband is out of surgery and is okay,” he whispered.
“What’s your husband’s name? Maybe I can get an update for you.”
“Luther. Luther Santiago-Doyle.”
She patted him on the arm, “Let me go see what I can find out, honey.”
As she walked off, Morgan turned around and leaned his back up against the wall. He stared down at his phone as he forwarded the address to Ryan along with a message:
Noah is here. Get him and bring him to the Park County Hospital.
He rubbed his closed eyes while he waited for a response. He got one within two minutes.
Ryan: I’m twenty minutes out. Will send status update once I’ve retrieved him
Morgan sighed with relief until he heard quiet footsteps approaching him. And when he opened his eyes and saw the grim expression on the nurse’s face as she walked closer, he slid down the wall to his ass with a whimpering sob.
She rushed forward, “Oh, no, honey! It’s fine, everything’s fine. Damn I hate my resting bitch face.”
Morgan barked out a laugh, “Resting bitch face?”
She put her hands on her hips, “It’s a thing, a real thing. My mouth automatically goes down in a frown, all the time. It’s like, natural for me or some shit. I have to work extra hard to smile.”
Morgan appreciated her explaining but he really didn’t need a lesson in whatever she was talking about.
As if she could read his mind, she said, “I checked with the operating department. They’re closing him up now. The surgeon will be out in a few minutes to tell you how he is and what they had to do to him. They’ll keep him for a little while as they get him set up in recovery and then someone will come and bring you back to him.
A tear rolled down Morgan’s cheek, “Thank you,” he whispered.
“Anytime, sugar,” she said as she patted his knee and then she disappeared down the hall.
“Everything okay?” Beau’s voice said, startling Morgan as his eyes popped open to find Beau squatting right in front of him.
Beau smiled, “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Yeah, everything’s……” he started to say but then all the emotions that he had been fighting to tamp down burst forward, as if they box he had tried to tuck them away in burst at the seams, “everything’s fucked,” he whispered as he hiccupped a sob and the tears began rolling down his cheeks. Beau spun around, sat on the floor next to Morgan, slid his arm around Morgan’s shoulders and pulled him close. “He’ll be fine, Morg. They’ll both be fine.”
“How did Jacob slip through our fingers, Beau? We do this for a living, we’re trained for this shit, and yet a fucking lawyer outsmarted us and slipped into the house unnoticed. How?” he said through his tears.
“You’re right, Morgan. We are trained in this. And we’ve both been doing it long enough to know that sometimes shit happens. Sometimes Ops go bad, even without mistakes or screw ups. It just happens. The point is to just learn from it and move on. Don’t let the what ifs take over now, it’ll ruin you if they do.”
Morgan wiped away his tears as he mumbled, “I know. I know that, Beau, but…..fuck.”
“I’m looking for Luther Santiago-Doyle’s family?” a voice said from above them.
Morgan’s head shot up and he pushed up to his feet with Beau’s help, “Me, that’s me. I’m his husband. I’m Morgan.”
The doctor smiled at Morgan’s bumbling. “I’m Doctor Raines. How about we take a seat in the chairs. They’re a little more cushioned for these tired bones,” he said as he held his hand out to motion for Beau and Morgan to go back into the waiting area.
As he pulled the blue surgical cap from his head, he smiled and patted Morgan’s thigh, “Relax, Morgan. He’s going to be okay.�
�
A whoosh of air that Morgan didn’t realize he was holding came rushing past Morgan’s lips and he felt fresh tears welling in his eyes but he blinked them away.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“Don’t thank me yet. He’s got a long road ahead of him. I hope you’re prepared for that.”
Morgan dipped his chin in a nod, “I am. Tell me.”
Dr. Raines proceeded to vomit out a massive amount of words – some of which Morgan knew and some that were like another language.
Morgan must’ve had a strange look on his face because the doctor suddenly smiled, “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”
“Doing what?” Morgan said as his brain tried to digest everything the doctor had said.
“Talking like I’m at a boring medical seminar filled with other doctors,” he said with a chuckle.
“Kind of?” Morgan said because, well, he had no idea what an actual medical seminar would be like to compare it to.
The doctor sighed out a breath, “Look, bottom line is this. The bullet entered through here,” he said as he lifted Morgan’s arm and pressed a finger to his right side at the bottom of his ribcage. “It bounced off a rib, nicked the top corner of his liver and lodged next to his spine. We were able to remove the bullet but a few fragments had to be left inside because they were just too close to the spinal cord. His regular doctor will need to monitor those to see if they shift or break free, so he could be facing more surgery down the road. He’s going to be in the ICU for a few days just to monitor for infection and until we can definitively determine that there was no spinal cord injury but you’ll be able to see him once they get him set up in his room there. Only one visitor at a time, though,” he said as his eyes shifted to Beau.
Beau was about to respond when the doctor’s pager went off. He pulled it off to read it and frowned.
“Well, it appears there is another arrival in the ER who will require surgery. This is normally a very quiet hospital but, oh well, I guess when it rains it pours.”
Morgan placed a soft hand on the doctor’s arm, “That might be my guy.”
Blackbird Fly Home (Doyle Global Securities Book 1) Page 13
