“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble under my breath as I knock on Mr. Smith’s door.
The visit doesn’t take long. He wants to complain about the last job I did for him. It wasn’t me. Someone installed his wood floor poorly. I offer to repair it at a discount while I assure him the business he's talking about closed fifteen years ago.
On my way to Mrs. Krauss, I spot Audrey coming out of the Cookie Cutter Bakery. Instead of her professional attire, she wears a pair of jeans, boots, and a warm coat. Today’s scarf is a deep burgundy, and it matches her hat and mittens. She holds a cup of coffee.
Did Colt forget about her—again?
What the hell, Colt?
I pull up my collar against the cold and saunter toward her. When she spots me, she smiles, her eyes crinkle, and I’m tempted to bend and kiss her. I’ve been dying to do that since yesterday. I don’t because what if I want more than that simple kiss?
There’s no what-if. You do.
“Good morning,” I greet. “Did Colin skip your continental breakfast?”
“No, he came by with scones and coffee. He took a plate full of cookies in exchange,” she answers and shows me the cup. “This is my second of the day. I’m heading back to the B&B.”
“To eat cookies?” I ask.
“No, I’m working and doing some research on Ms. Grant,” she answers and then lowers her voice. “What if she changed her name?”
The conspiratorial tone makes me burst into laughter.
She joins me, and the sound is almost magical. When we compose ourselves, she asks, “It sounds delusional, doesn’t it?”
“Why don’t you come with me?” I offer. “Mrs. Krauss’s shelves might be a lot more interesting than your theory.”
She adjusts her scarf, takes a sip of her drink, and sighs. “You’re right, I’m losing my mind. Earlier today, I was making a list of everything that should be fixed at the B&B. The place has a lot of potential.”
“Potential?” I repeat the last word. She looks excited, and there’s more life in her when she tells me about the renovations she’d do to the place.
Everything she suggests could be done in stages. I agree the carpet should be pulled out and set on fire. The art is gorgeous, and it’d have a second life if it’s reframed with something modern.
She touches her lower back. “The beds need to go too. I was thinking earlier that even if the owner doesn’t sell the place, she needs to give it some TLC. It has potential. The business will bloom if she puts her heart into it.”
“What if she likes it the way it is? It’s been like that for generations.”
Audrey gives me a curious look.
“You disagree.”
“The hotel has the capability to become one of the best places to visit in Colorado,” she says. “Can it stay like that for another fifty years? Sure. Another fifty years of a mediocre existence. Why not reach for what will make it magnificent?”
I take a few things out of this conversation. One, she takes her hotels as seriously as she takes her cookies. Two, her words bring back my earlier conversation with Morgan. Last night’s conversation with Colt. Even my sisters’ comments yesterday morning.
The B&B and I are one and the same. Everything has stayed the same. Changes are frowned upon. I’m not reaching for magnificent.
I’m barely living.
The unsettling feeling is back again. It’s actually getting bigger. Since my divorce, I’ve dedicated my entire life to Perry and my job. Moving here only changed the amount of time I devote to my daughter. My routine hasn’t wavered until Audrey came crashing into my life. It’s no longer Perry and work. A part of my brain can’t stop daydreaming about her and the possibilities of more than just that one night we spent together.
It can’t happen.
She lives in Los Angeles. She’s a career woman spending Christmas working instead of with her family. Maybe I don’t know a lot about her, but that much I can see for myself. I’m not threatened by her success but by her priorities.
“You okay?” she asks, her mitten-covered hand reaches up to my forehead, and she rubs it. “That’s a deep frown. What upset you?”
“When are you leaving town?”
She stares at her cup and chuckles. “Let’s see, today is Friday . . . I’m guessing probably never. Becky already offered me a job to update her website. Do you know she ships cookies and cupcakes?”
I shake my head.
“You don’t because her marketing needs a little work,” she explains.
“You’re staying because Becky offered you a job?” I ask, confused.
“That’s not why. As you know, I’m here to buy the B&B. Crazy Boss from Hell might fire me soon if I don’t deliver. When that happens, I’m going to have a hard time finding a job in my field. I’ll eat through my savings in the first few months. I won’t be able to afford my apartment. Joining the circus seems harder than I thought it’d be back when I was eight and planned on leaving home because Mom made me eat Brussels sprouts.” She makes gagging noises. I laugh. “Honestly, I don’t know how long I’ll have to stay. If I don’t see any progress tomorrow, I’m going to call Mom and see if she wants to come for Christmas.”
Maybe I’ve jumped to the wrong conclusion about her priorities. She seems disappointed not to be spending the holidays with her mother.
“How about the rest of your family?”
She gives me a strange glance and continues looking at the ground as we walk along the freshly shoveled sidewalk.
“It’s been the two of us since my parents divorced,” she answers. “Dad remarried, moved to New York, and we never saw him again. She made every celebration special until I left for college. We never had a big family to celebrate with. Christmas was usually opening the presents, having pancakes for breakfast, and watching holiday movies.”
My first thought is how lonely that sounds and how, at times, I’ve wished for a quieter Christmas. But then I pause and consider all my siblings and my parents. Christmas is . . . well, it’s joyful. Loud. Fun. It’s one of my favorite times of the year, and Perry has just made it even more special. And given the crazy-silly side of Audrey I’ve now seen a few times, I think she’d love it. Just like we do.
“Spend the holidays with us,” I suggest. “We have everything in Winter Valley. The white Christmas, the caroling, and a noisy family.”
“That’s not my style.”
“You can’t say that until you try it,” I insist. “Actually, tomorrow, you’re coming with us to choose our Christmas tree.”
I don’t understand how this woman makes me spew nonsense all the time. Did I just invite her to spend the day with Perry and me?
Chapter Thirteen
Audrey
The winding mountain road has a steep drop off on my side.
Colin expertly maneuvers the truck on the slick surface as though he does this every day. He probably does.
It’s a long way down. And those boulders at the bottom are big.
I shiver, trying not to think about careening off the edge.
“Are you cold? Want me to put the window up?” He places a comforting hand on my thigh for a second before returning it to the wheel.
His eyes never appear to leave the road ahead.
“No. It’s refreshing.”
His cracked window and the crisp air floating inside the truck are keeping me grounded. I’ve been on treacherous roads before and haven’t been bothered, but this one is getting to me.
I was thrilled when he’d asked me to tag along to help them get a Christmas tree. We’d passed a thousand on our way here. For some strange reason, I thought we’d be able to get one in the valley. On relatively flat ground. Silly me.
A horn blares as a tow truck passes us. Colt and Morgan wave crazily as they zoom around.
My stomach does a dip, just witnessing their speed.
“Shouldn’t they slow down?” I ask, still wondering what was wrong with one of the trees we’d passed mi
les back.
“Probably,” Colin says. “They just want to be the first ones to our special spot.”
“Are we almost there, Daddy?” Perry cranes her neck from her car seat in the back seat of the truck.
“Not far now, Cupcake.” He glances back at his daughter with a fondness that melts the ice around my heart.
After my broken relationship with Stan, I never dared to dream about moments like this. In my wildest imagination, it had never been this good anyway. I didn’t have much reality to draw from.
This sense of community had been missing from my life. I’ve never had it, and now that I’ve had a taste, I realize just how much I’ve craved it even when I couldn’t exactly put it into words.
We crest the ridge that gives way to a mountain pass vast with evergreens and a carpet of snow. It’s beautiful.
Up ahead, the tow truck turns and disappears into the tree line. Colin slows and follows.
Colt unlocks a gate and swings it wide open. Once both trucks are through, he secures it again.
“What is this place?” I ask, a little in awe.
“Great-grandma and great-grandpa’s secret hideaway,” Perry answers proudly.
Colin looks amused. “On my dad’s side. And it was actually my great-great-grandparents who bought the land. They found it when my great-great-grandma”—his brow furrows—“wrecked the truck in the fence,” he finishes carefully.
We glance at one another, but I don’t want to read too much into the parallels. She crashed into their perfect property. I crashed into him, and . . . it’s just a coincidence. He shakes his head and continues behind Morgan.
“It was fate!” Perry shrieks. “That’s what Grandma says.”
“It was,” Colin says quietly, though I wonder if he’s referring to his grandparents’ accident. . . or ours.
“Are your grandparents still around?” I didn’t really know mine, but the Bradfords seem to have a long history.
“No. They passed away a few years ago. The property belongs to Mom and Dad now,” he says with a reverent sadness.
“You were close to them.”
He nods. “I shouldn’t have moved away. I lost a lot of time with them.”
I don’t know what to say. Life is full of mistakes and regrets. “You did what you thought was right at the time.”
His eyes drift to the back seat again. “If I hadn’t . . .”
He wouldn’t have his girl, I finish for him in my head.
“We’re getting close. I can feel it,” she says enthusiastically.
“Fairy intuition?” I twist to face her and grin.
“What’s in-in-tuition?” She cocks her head, a curious expression carving her features.
“It’s when you know something without really knowing it with facts. In here.” I point at my chest.
Her nose scrunches in concentration. I look at Colin for help, failing miserably at my attempt of a definition. I should google it. Why didn’t I think of that before?
“Like Santa?” Perry pipes up before I can get my phone out. “I’ve never seen the real him, but I know he exists.”
I smile. “Kinda. But you have some proof of that. Like the presents he leaves you.”
“But I still haven’t seen him,” she insists.
“He’s busy, especially this time of year,” Colin says. “Maybe Audrey will bake some cookies for us to leave out for him on Christmas Eve.”
He snaps his mouth shut as if surprised at the suggestion. Not as shocked as me, though.
“Will you, Audrey? Please. Your cookies are awesome!”
Like I could say no to that. “Sure thing. We’ll make a special batch.”
Perry cheers as if I’ve promised to get her a pony. “Stop!”
Colin slams on the brakes. “What is it?”
She points at a clearing dotted with a few trees. “That one.”
He toots the horn. Morgan stops the tow truck just ahead of us.
“Undo me! Undo me!” Perry demands.
Colin jumps out and unbuckles his daughter from her seat. He lifts her out of the cab. No sooner do her feet hit the ground than she starts running on her little legs.
The guys and I follow her to one of the biggest trees I’ve ever seen. It’s Rockefeller Center magnitude.
“This the one you want, Squirrel?” Morgan hefts his chainsaw up and tilts his head back to take in the size.
He seems undeterred by the enormity.
“Is this why you brought the tow truck?” Where in the world will they put a tree this size once we get it back to Winter Valley?
He smirks. “I brought the truck in case we run into any potential customers along the way. People are crazy to drive on these roads.”
I stare at him incredulously. Like him? He drives like a bat out of hell. But I had to give him kudos for his enterprising spirit.
“Sweetheart, this one won’t fit in the house,” Colin says patiently, so as not to disappoint his daughter.
“We can put it in the town square.”
Do all kids have the answers to everything? This one seems to, and I’m not sure I can keep up.
“Let’s try another tree. One that’s much smaller,” he suggests.
She’s only momentarily deterred. She races across the meadow with her braid flying behind her. We take off after her again. Thank goodness I found a shop in town with some boots. I'd have never made it through all this snow without them.
This time, she stops in front of a much more acceptable tree. It’s a good height, just a little taller than Colin, and symmetrical with plenty of branches to hang decorations.
“I want this one.” Perry is decisive, that’s for sure. I love her confidence and lack of awareness about her age. In some respects, she’s a mini adult.
“I like this one too. What do you think?” He looks at me as if my opinion counts.
My mom and I haven’t bothered putting up a tree in years. We were both busy, and by the time we got around to thinking about it, the holidays were almost gone. Being a part of the selection process . . . I feel important.
Morgan and Colt look at me expectantly.
“I love it.”
“Time for the tree dance?” Colt asks.
Surely, I misunderstood. The word dance and these brothers don’t go together. At all.
Morgan sets the chainsaw down and holds out his hand to Perry. She slaps her small one in his and grabs Colin’s. He reaches for mine. Colt links the chain around the tree, holding my free hand and Morgan’s.
And then they began to move around the tree in a circle, singing “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” at the top of their lungs.
I join in because if I don’t, I’m going to be run over. Morgan attempts some sort of fancy grapevine step and trips but doesn’t fall. I nearly lose my balance from laughing so hard. And by the time we get to the end of the song, it’s barely recognizable between the giggles.
“You didn’t know when you agreed to come that you’d be picking out a tree with some crazies,” Colin says in my ear.
I’m aware of him in a way I’ve never experienced with another human being. And honestly, I’m not sure what to do with that. It’s almost as if he’s bringing out the me that’s been suppressed by stress and disappointments.
“I had a pretty good idea.”
Perry grabs my hand as we move out of the way to let the guys fell the tree. She squeezes as they haul it to the truck while she dances around like a fairy.
“Can you put the first orma-ment on with me, Unicorn?” she asks.
I have no idea why, but intuition tells me that’s a pretty big deal around their house. And I’m so honored. I haven’t been around many kids. I’m not even sure I’m mother material. Not that I’m thinking about being a mom.
I just didn’t realize kids were so honest . . . and how refreshing that is.
“I’d love to, Fairy Perry.” My voice is scratchy, but I manage to get the words out.
Once the tree is
secure, Colin loads Perry into the back seat. I climb into the cab and rub my hands together to get warm.
For an entire day, I’ve forgotten about my life in LA. It’s as if it doesn’t exist or is another person’s life I read about on the internet.
Maybe there’s more out there than I thought. Maybe I can have more.
Chapter Fourteen
Colin
My sisters might live in the city, but they get wind of everything happening at home. The next morning, my phone rings at seven o’clock. I grunt when I see Clarissa’s face. What did I do to deserve two annoying sisters?
I slide my finger along the screen and answer. “Are you dying?”
“No,” she answers with a confused voice. “Aw, someone needs to get laid—again.”
“What do you want?” I grind my teeth.
“Can’t a sister just call her favorite brother to check on him?”
She’s checking on the gossip. Back when I was living in New York, she didn’t pay attention to what I did. Now with all her friends watching me, I can’t move a finger without her—or Elisse— finding out.
“Colt might believe your BS, but I’m not that gullible,” I say, getting out of the bed. “I know you well, sweetheart. What do you need?”
“There’s a rumor that you’re going out with the pretty newcomer,” she says, mockingly. “I wanted to share some wisdom before you pull a Colin.”
I exhale and scrub a hand along my face. I go back to the bed and sink down. This is going to take longer than I thought. I wish she was calling to offer to pick up our parents and keep them until Wednesday. The four-hour drive back and forth isn’t a walk in the park.
My options are limited to listening to her or hanging up and waiting for Elisse to call me within ten minutes.
I stare at the ceiling and growl. Why do all my siblings think they have a say in my life?
Holiday with You Page 7
