by Ostrow, Lexi
“Well, that would have been an option, if you hadn’t been so incredibly charming.”
Her compliment made him beam with pride even though he’d already known how charming he’d been—and that he was damn good at it because he was an angel. Fighting off a smirk he offered her his arm. “Shall we?”
When she placed her hand on his elbow, he couldn’t ignore the perfect way it fit there as if they had been made to fit together. What a human concept. If you’re not careful, you’re going to lose your wings because of this woman. He sidestepped around a waiter to pull a stool out at the fancy bar for Cassandra. An eerie calm remained when the thought of falling should bring about panic. Why does that no longer make your heart pound with worry?
There was no time to reflect on why he’d even consider losing his grace; he had a mission to do, and it was past time he stopped letting the humanity that now lived inside him get in the way.
“I know you said normal, so I believe that means customary rounds of small talk—mostly awkward.” With a wink, he pulled out a velvet-fabric covered stool. “Seat?”
She smiled and pulled off her coat, looking around for a place to hang it before draping it over her lap after she sat. “I think small talk awkwardness sounds brilliant at the moment.” She extended her hand. “I’m Cassandra Marks. I like helping children, traveling and long walks thinking about absolutely nothing.”
He knew the reference was a twist on a dating profiles men and women made, but he didn’t know where to go with the information, so he looked to the bartender. “Two Old Fashioned’s.”
“Ordering for me? So you are chivalrous and a bit controlling.”
“Never,” he grinned as he rooted through his pocket for the wallet he had found in the apartment. “You look like the type to drink one, and if not, I think it’s the perfect evening to experiment.”
She shook her head, sending her black curls tumbling as she did. “I actually do like them. You’re a good guesser or a brilliant detective.”
“I suppose you’ll have to stick around to find out how I perform my magic.” The words tumbled out. The plan had not included seeing her once this so-called date came to an end. The point had been to get the information and get back to the angels so he could save her from herself . . . and any treatments.
The drinks were set down. “Tab please.”
“Actually,” she flushed as she took a sip. “I have been through quite a lot of informational packets in the past twenty-four hours, and all indicate this isn’t the best idea. Drinking I mean.”
“Very well. We’ll close out.”
The man nodded and stepped over to a register.
“You mentioned you like kids. Do you have any?” Prying into her life with questions was strange compared to reading about it.
She sputtered, but recovered, wiping the bit of wetness from her chin. “No. I do work with orphanages though. I grew up in the system, and it instilled a passion in me to help the kids who need it most.”
He took the receipt from the bartender, slapped down the number five on the tip line, and signed it without breaking eye contact with Cassandra as she spoke. “Mind if I ask why?”
“Not at all.” Her smile was bright, and for a moment, it was impossible to see the red in her eyes that revealed her sadness. “Growing up without a family, you don’t hunger for food or water, but you hunger for acceptance. It’s hard to feel as if you aren’t alone, even in a home full of children. Yes, family isn’t always blood, but in the foster system, families change frequently.”
“Because some come and some go as families step in?”
“Exactly. Do you have knowledge of the system?”
“No.” Just from studying you. “So, what is it you do then?”
“Nothing as noble as running an orphanage. However, I’m working on developing a worldwide database so that couples looking for a child do not have as much of a struggle finding the right one. Do I believe we have enough children here that need love and a family? Absolutely. However, the conditions here are much better than many places overseas. We do not let our youth starve or freeze here. That can’t be said for the children in places like Uganda and even parts of Europe—like Poland. If I can get those children into a unified database, parents who do not mind a child that won’t look like them, or even parents who might have roots in another nation, can find a special kid to bring into their lives.”
The weight of her work struck him. She wasn’t merely seeking to create a database. She was looking to end the suffering of those less fortunate. Why has this not been cataloged?
She took a large swig of the drink. “I can’t believe I just told you that. I’ve never even told my employer the reason why I started overseas and not here in Boston.”
She trusts me. “I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”
“Are you in therapy?”
“Excuse me?”
“Sorry, I mean work for. Are you a therapist?”
Shit. Gave never thought she’d turn the conversation to him. “Of a sort. I help people when they are lost or facing a dangerous situation.”
“Social work then.” She took another drink, her eyes still staring into his. “That is very noble and unexpected for a man with your fashion sense.”
Tilting the mug back he downed the drink, ignoring the unpleasant taste as he did so. “I come from a special kind of background that affords me the ability to help others. Like yourself.”
Cassandra’s hand went on top of his, and she smiled. “Thank you, Gabe.”
“For buying a drink you were supposed to buy me one?”
Her gasp was adorable as she pulled her hand away from his and covered her mouth in shock. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! That was so inconsiderate. Please, let me buy you another round.”
Grinning, he noticed the way her eyebrows shot up when she was embarrassed. It was endearing, so much about her was. Her mission was too important. She sought to help those in need. She couldn’t be turned down for saving once he revealed the reason why she did what she did.
“Don’t worry about it. Allow me to walk you home. We’ll call it even.”
“I can think of worse things than being stuck in the presence of a good-looking man that spends his life helping others. A man who isn’t afraid to get caught up in the mess of a woman with cancer.” Her voice cracked on the last word.
He did the unexpected.
The forbidden.
Gabe let his lips capture hers, albeit briefly. All that existed was the soft, warm press of her lips beneath his. A spark passed through them when they kissed, and though she pulled back laughing softly, he did not. Kissing her had not been part of his plan. The bar had faded around them from a moment’s touch. This is why angel’s fall. He knew in that instance that the men and women who chose to lose their wings for a human’s love had experienced the same time altering phenomenon.
“You are beyond worth it.” He cleared his throat and shook his head to try to snap free of the haze he was under. “That may be forward, but I’m sure you can agree, life isn’t to be wasted.” He wasn’t referring just to her cancer, but to how little time he would have left in her presence before he returned to be nothing more than a ghost that watched over her shoulder.
“I understand.” She leaned forward as if she would kiss him again, but did not. “Which is why I cannot have you waste any time on me.”
“Let me decide if I’m wasting my time.” He tucked hair behind her ear and loved the way she looked down and away so she might lean into his intimate gesture. “Please.”
“I don’t believe a woman could deny you anything.” The words were breathless, and though she did not smile, Gabe knew the intensity burning in her eyes meant she would not turn him away.
He had no business being with her, playing human for any longer now that he believed he had precisely what he needed. Yet, being human, being with her, felt significant. It’s what she needs right now. She doesn’t need a guardian she can’
t see looking after her. She needs me here, human.
“Then let me walk you home, and you can make the next move. But I assure you, this small amount of time has shown me you are not a waste. You might be the most remarkable human I have ever met outside the battlefield.”
“You were a soldier?”
“I was. I only left that life recently. I cannot say it was my choice to leave, but I have found a greater purpose now. One I did not realize could be greater than serving to protect humans in a war.”
He’d railed against his punishment, and yet, he understood. Staring into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, Gabe understood why Guardian Angels mattered. Suddenly, he didn’t want his battle wings back. He wanted to spend the rest of her life protecting Cassandra and then finding a child in an orphanage to request charge over and continue her work.
She matters.
“That is very noble.” She turned from him and looked into her glass. “I begin treatments in less than a week.”
The urge to kiss her returned, though he shoved it aside. He let his impulses control him, and they would not serve him any in saving her life.
“Are you frightened?”
“Very.”
His hand reached out and took hers, unable to ignore how terribly small her human hand was in his. “I think it would be worrisome if you were not afraid. Fear makes us strong, it will make you fight harder than ever before as well.”
“I’m certain I’ve heard that a million times, so why does it feel like a paltry saying now that it’s being applied to me?”
He gave a small smile. “I believe that is normal.” What isn’t normal is that I didn’t know about your treatments because I was not by your side. “If you don’t mind me asking, will you be all right getting to and from treatments? I know we’ve just met, but I would be dishonest if I did not tell you that I can see myself gaining feelings for you.”
“Pity will do that to people.”
He squeezed her hand, unconcerned with how strong he was as the anger at her sentiment filled him. “I promise you, this is not from pity. I pity many people, you I wish to see fight. And only partially because I want to continue getting to know you.”
Her lips parted and then closed. Cassandra did not know how to respond it seemed. So he’d help her.
“This is the part where you apologize for insisting that I’m anything short of amazing.”
The smile returned, and with it, a small chuckle.
“You are certainly different, Gabe. It’s handled, thank you for the concern though.” Her mouth opened with a yawn and she slammed her hand over her mouth, looking down. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel up to this right now. I want normal, but I find the mere suggestion that I should be more tired has made me so. Do you mind?”
“Not at all, as long as it’s not a commentary on my company.” Rising from the stool, he watched as she got off as well. He couldn’t see her aura, but he saw the stiff way she moved. She was fighting, even now when she was at the beginning of her journey, she struggled to conceal it from the world around her.
Cassandra Marks was tired, and not simply because she wanted to sleep. Her body hadn’t even begun to fight, and she would need to be so much stronger than she was. There was a light in her eyes, a pure and unfiltered happiness, albeit minuscule.
“Not at all. I was wondering, would you be interested in doing something again? In a few days.” She spoke in a hurry as if she were afraid he would say no.
“I would enjoy that. Perhaps we might stay in so that you do not feel any pressure.” They walked, and he waited as she put on her coat before opening the door to the chilled winter night. “May I walk you home?”
Her fingers effortlessly did up the buttons on her coat before looking up at him. “That is very kind, which I’m beginning to see is just a part of what makes you—you. However, I live alone. I should never invite a man to see my place right away, and I should always be able to take care of myself walking alone.”
He was impressed.
Part of him wanted to argue she didn’t have to always do things alone, another part of him merely saw it as another reason she was strong enough to live; even if the angels did not want to save her.
“Very well, then allow me to open the door if that’s not too chivalrous for you.” He winked, even though he would fret over her return the entire way. He could not stealthily follow behind her, and he was not yet convinced he had everything he needed.
There are indeed downfalls to this. How do humans handle looking after one another when the other party is stubborn?
“I think that would be magnificent.” Smirking, she stepped aside and let him open the door.
They stepped out, and he was surprised at how much colder it had gotten in less than an hour. The cold of winter certainly permeated human bodies a great deal. “Are you certain it is not too cold?”
“I believe that until I begin chemo next week, I will be all right.”
She is stubborn. “Would you object to letting me know you’ve made it home safely? I realize we are still just talking and getting to know each other, but it goes against my moral code to abandon a woman at night.”
The smile that lit her face could have had him believing there was nothing wrong with her. He liked that. He liked being able to do that for her even though it was likely the little bit of Guardian Angel that didn’t wear off when trading wings for humanity.
“I think that will do.” She leaned up and dropped a kiss to his lips.
His frozen state had nothing to do with the cold air surrounding them. He itched to wrap his arms around her, but the kiss was over nearly as quickly as it had begun. She pulled away, a smile still gracing her lips.
“Thank you for helping me feel normal. I’ve got a long way to go, but I feel like you appeared at just the right time—like some sort of guardian.”
Choking, he pounded his fist on his chest. It was a turn of phrase, but it shocked him. “Well, who am I to turn down such a majestic title. Let’s focus on getting to know each other and see where we wind up.” He didn't think as he slipped her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Just know I don’t care how much baggage you have–trust me, mine’s just as heavy.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t move her hand right away, and her gaze held his.
“Have a safe walk, Cassandra.”
“I will let you know I’m home. I promise.” She gave a mock salute and headed down Newbury—leaving him to pause before walking toward his apartment in case she thought he was following her.
“This is incredible.” He ignored the strange look a man walking past him gave. “I had absolutely no control over my actions. It was as if my mind completely vanished.” He sidestepped out of the entryway. “Carlyle? I’m certain you’re eavesdropping on me, can you appear?” He spoke softly as Guardian Angels could hear even the smallest whisper if they were listening.
“You would be correct.” Carlyle took form beside a planter. “I suggest you take out that cell phone or else the police might arrest you for intoxication. Or I could simply cloak you, but I’m tired.”
“This feels ridiculous,” he put the phone to his ear.
“Go ahead, look insane. Being arrested won’t help you win over a woman like Cassandra.”
Carlyle was correct, as always. Snorting, he looked over and saw the smallest blip of her form as she walked down and then turned right, disappearing from his sight.
“How will I know when I have the correct information to save her?”
Carlyle’s navy eyes narrowed. “There is no guarantee anything you gather will do that.”
“I’m tempted to put my hands on your neck and remind you how much stronger born Battle Angels are.”
“And that will not save her at all.”
His snarl was louder than he intended, so Gabe started walking toward Copley. “Answer my question.”
“You will need to learn of her mission, of how only she can do what she is doing. What you l
earned tonight, any single human could do that if they wanted too.” Carlyle flapped his wings, choosing to fly by Gabe’s side instead of walk. “I also saw what you did. I saw the interest and hunger in your eyes, and I am only going to warn you once–”
“I did what was necessary to create a connection. If I needed more information, I needed to ensure she would meet with me again. She is an outstanding woman and I do not intend to fail her.”
“You may lie to me all you wish, but do not lie to yourself. Feeling a connection to your charge is ordinary life for a Guardian Angel. It is not natural to give up your wings to be with them.”
His low growl was the only warning before his grip on the phone tightened, shattering the screen. “I gave up my wings to learn more to save her. That is all.”
“The lie can only go on for so long, and I assure you, you’ll need something more remarkable than what you have to save her.” He turned his face upward to leave but looked at Gabe. “Watch out, you can bleed.” Carlyle nodded at his hand.
Gabe looked down, shocked to see a trail of crimson leaking from his hand. He went to tell Carlyle to fuck off, but the other angel was gone.
“It’s not a lie. I might not have been in control, but I’m doing what I’m doing to help save her life.” As he unclenched his hand from around the now broken phone, he knew deep down that he’d kissed her because there had been nothing he’d ever wanted to do more.
Eleven
“Just take a deep breath.” Her hand trembled as she held onto the doorknob. Blowing out a deep breath she focused on what mattered, her health, not her pride. “Diana?” She spoke as she pushed the door in, ready to let her boss know everything she could stomach sharing.
“Cassandra, so glad to see you. Feeling better?” Diana’s cheerful voice meant she hadn’t received a stressful case yet. Typically, by nine am Diana was a mess of nerves and shouting orders at them—as if it helped them to do their job better.
Tugging the door closed she jumped at the thumping sound. Calm down, Cassandra.
