by Ostrow, Lexi
With the man you love.
Dizziness took hold as he lowered her onto the plush mattress. She closed her eyes to force it to pass.
“Sorry,” he whispered against her lips. “I didn’t think.”
“And I don’t want to think. I can’t. It hurts too much.” Tears formed again as she thought about how she would look when she finally grew the strength to gaze in the mirror.
“If I could take away your pain forever, I promise you I would, but you reminded me why we cannot go that route. ,"
Her laugh was more a snort. “Such brave words for a man who once told me he wanted nothing to do with his job as a Guardian Angel.”
His low growl was sensual as he dropped a kiss to her lips. “I didn’t know you yet. I was a fool, and I will spend every day we have left making certain you know this is what an angel willing to fall for love looks like.”
There was no breath of time to respond. Gabe’s fingers traced a path down her bare thighs and stopped at the juncture between them. Though his touch was feather-light, pleasure swirled as he dipped his finger inside.
“You tell me if I do anything that hurts you.”
“Not if it will stop you.” She tried to joke, but her head dipped backward as a wave of delight crested over her thanks to his fingers moving within her body.
“Nothing will.” His words were a sultry whisper just before he kissed her. His lips brushed against hers, barely firm enough for her to feel it.
She did.
Right to the tips of her toes. Everything she loved about Gabe flooded her. His kiss drowned her in the past, their present and the future she was too afraid to admit she didn’t know if they’d get. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of his mouth as it captured hers, on his tongue as it stroked and teased hers, and on the way his fingers moved so expertly.
Inhaling as her release threated to come far sooner than she was ready for, Cassandra’s breathing hitched as pleasure washed over her like a wave on the shore. It didn’t explode through her, but it ebbed and flowed as Gabe continued to touch her even as their kiss ended.
When her breathing steadied, she opened her eyes, shocked to find his gorgeous gaze staring back at her. There was so much written there—fear, love, hunger. He moved back from her, just a for a moment, and she couldn’t help the small thrill that passed through her as he tugged his shirt off and his muscles rippled from the action. His jeans slid off, his boxers next, and she was unashamed at the way her body turned to molten heat thinking about sleeping with him.
Gabe was so much more than good looks, but when he covered her, her hands roamed over the hard planes of his body, delighting in knowing he was all hers. She kneaded her hands over the delicious hardness of his ass before rolling her hips up to his.
“Are you certain?” Gabe nibbled on her ear as his hands trailed down her side, careful to not touch her breasts.
“Absolutely.” Her response was breathless, her body already purring for his touch.
He pressed his lips to hers, crushed them really, and lowered himself tenderly down until his body rested gently on hers, his erection mere centimeters away from finishing what they’d started. He punished Cassandra with his mouth, taking what he so clearly wanted and leaving her breathless beneath him when he pulled himself from her.
“I love you, Cassandra Marks.”
“I love you, Gabe, my Guardian Angel.”
With the words, he seated himself to the hilt inside her. A moan tore past her lips. The stretch of her body from his girth had been the most delicious sensation she could ever remember experiencing.
Her hands entangled in his hair as his lips moved with a fierce pace while he body moved languidly. She was lost, swimming in a sea of ecstasy and friction. Over and over he moved his hips against hers, and she rose to meet him.
Stroke for stroke, they moved in tandem. Cassandra’s hands glided from Gabe’s hair down his body, and he carefully had slipped his behind her butt, lifting her as he drove himself in and out. As the pleasure built, her eyes closed and her breathing shifted to pants. Gabe’s groans mixed in the air as their bodies moved so fluidly together. Their lips brushed together, their tongues twirled and stroked as only the sounds of their pleasure grew louder than their breathing.
Until her released shattered through her. Gabe’s name was a cry on her lips, as hers was on his as they came together. Her body seemed to sigh from the pulse of his shaft and could not stop the smile from spreading on her lips.
“That,” she panted, “was beyond worth waiting for.”
He chuckled, lifting himself up just a bit. “I quite agree. However, if you think I am finished, you are mistaken. If this is the only chance I get to ravish you for some time, we’ve only just begun.” He slipped free and sat upright on his knees.
The wicked grin on his lips turned her body to jelly. Using some of the last energy she could muster, Cassandra sat up. Her eyes fell on the small swirl of hair on the blue sheets.
“It doesn’t matter.” Gabe used his thumb to turn her face away. “This is what matters.” He shifted, pulling her against him. “You and I, and the amazing way I’m about to make you feel.”
His words were enough as he reached between them and stroked her folds once more. “I love you, Cassandra. Focus on that, on me.”
And as he teased her body, she listened, because there really was nothing more that mattered than the man she’d fallen in love with.
Twenty-Six
“Hey, just breathe, okay?” Gabe gave Cassandra’s hand a squeeze.
Every part of his body was tired. His feet hurt from helping Cassandra walk everywhere. His heart hurt from having to watch her in pain more often than not the past two weeks. He was tired. Humans did it all the time for the ones they loved. He was an angel, and he was tired.
“I know.”
Her words were mumbled, and he knew she was upset. Lying to him to be strong.
A knock on the door stopped him from telling her all she needed to do was ask, and he would take as much of the pain as he safely could.
“Cassandra. Gabe.” Doctor Dresdell addressed them both with a smile as she walked to sit behind her desk. “I hope you both had a lovely New Year.”
“We did. It was more tiring than I imagined, but we did manage a few First Night activities.” She sniffled, quickly putting a tissue to her nose.
Three. They’d been able to do three stops before Cass practically fell asleep on her feet walking from location to location for Boston’s New Year’s Eve festival.
“Make it to midnight?”
She chuckled softly. “I am embarrassed to say I did not.”
The doctor’s smile was warm, the expression in her eyes understanding before she looked away and opened up the file folder. “So you had a scan yesterday to make way for a three-day intensive treatment that we ordered when we put you on the Herceptin.” Her eyes scanned over the papers she had probably read half a dozen times.
Gabe clutched Cassandra’s hand, surprised when she squeezed back. She’s trying to give me as much hope as I want to give her. His heart swelled with love for her. Every step of the journey she had amazed him. Even when she broke down, she picked herself up so quickly it was impossible not to be in awe of her.
“I’ve got some difficult, but not bad, news.”
Cassandra’s sharp intake of breath was like a knife jabbing into his heart.
“The cancer did stop spreading. Unfortunately, it did not shrink.” The older woman looked up from the file folder.
“Why is that not bad news?” Cassandra’s voice was firm, her mouth set in a harsh line.
“It hasn’t grown. That means we’ve contained it. If we remove the lump and perform another session of chemo, it’s entirely possible that we will have this behind us in three months. Your body can’t handle additional chemo, so that is the best news possible—just three more days and a small surgery.”
“What?”
Gabe hadn’t re
alized he’d been the one who spoke until Judy looked at him.
“I believe if we remove the tumor, we’ll be able to stop the cancer completely.”
“Oh my god.” Cassandra’s whispered reverie was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.
“Hold on, here is the difficult part. The tumor grew so large we will not have enough breast tissue left to save. There is reconstructive surgery possible, but we cannot save it now.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cassandra’s hand touch her breast.
“Don’t worry. This is about life. You were prepared for this.”
When she looked at him, her eyes were filled with tears. “That was before my hair fell out.” Her voice cracked on the final word.
He stood, pulling her out of her chair as well to hug her against her him. Stroking her back, Gabe said nothing until she looked up at him after a few minutes.
“You look beautiful, and you always joked how you wanted to be a redhead.” He curled his index finger around a shiny piece of red hair from her newest wig.
“If you tell me I can have bigger breasts I might punch you.” She laughed, snorting as she did.
“I wasn’t going to say that, but you were on the right path. You’re beautiful. Would I be lying if I said your looks weren’t perfect before? Yes. You will be radiant no matter what your hair color is, or how you look in tight sweaters. Your smile will always, always light up any room you step into.”
She mouthed the words “Guardian Angel," before taking a deep breath. “Let’s do it. Take all of my damn breasts. He’s right. I’ll be alive, and I’ll have plenty of reasons to celebrate. Maybe I’ll even get one of those tattoos we saw online.”
He flinched. Angels did not believe in marking their body—they thought they were perfect as is. They’d discussed that, but he wouldn’t tell her what to do, and he wouldn’t love her less for it.
“Well, we can figure it out together.”
“Wonderful. It’s important we move quickly. This will adjust your chemotherapy treatment quite considerably. There will be a delayed start time and smaller doses, but you’ll still be staying with us for a few days. As I mentioned, we’re wearing your body out, for the best possible reason.”
“Why would I need it at all?”
Fear rolled off Cassandra in waves.
“Removing the tumor gets most of the cancer. However, the cells can be small. Scans could miss them. Continuing with the final treatment course will probably stop anything from growing.”
“Will probably?” He spoke, not understanding why it wasn’t a done deal.
“Cancer is never entirely gone. Once the body has shown the. . . disposition to grow cancer cells, it is always possible cancer will return. Checkups will be frequent and for the rest of her life, always hoping we never find another microscopic fraction of it.”
He did his best to not clench his hands. “That’s how remission ends?”
“Correct. But let’s focus on the here and now. We have wonderful news and knowing Cassandra is ready for the surgery, we have even more good news. We’ll need to move quickly, this sort of thing can be a delicate time balance.”
Cassandra said nothing. She sat stiff as a board beside him and practically sent off shock waves of fear.
“Cassandra?” Gabe took her hand in his. “Cass?” He turned to look at her. She was staring at the wall, her eyes unblinking. “Cass?” He touched her cheek.
“I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “Yes, I understand.”
“Let’s get you walked out and scheduled then. Doctor Amstel, a close colleague, is a surgical oncologist. He will be doing the surgery on Wednesday.”
“That’s in two days.”
“Yes. As I said, fast.”
His head spun just listening in on their conversation. In two days they would be one step closer to saving her. She’d have done what the council wouldn’t aide in. Cassandra will have beaten cancer. She’s my warrior. The thought drew a smile to his lips. She’s mine.
“Shelby, we’ll be moving ahead as planned with the surgery on Wednesday. Please make sure Cassandra has all the paperwork and reading materials she will need.” Judy taped the counter and turned to head back to her office.
Gabe slipped into his mind as he heard the woman start telling Cassandra instructions.
He wanted to exhale. After two of the longest weeks of life watching her suffer, an ending was a coming. She wouldn’t be good as new immediately, but with the cancer gone, she wouldn’t refuse his help in easing the pain. Her birthday was coming up—well, in two months. They could go and celebrate, and then she could pack them up and whisk them away to Cambodia or Russia or who the hell knew where to start the database program out there.
Fingers snapped in his face, and he saw Cassandra staring at him.
“Your turn to zone out?”
“I’m sorry. My mind jumped to the future, and once it went, there was no bringing it back without a little help.” Giving her a sideways smile, he took her hand in his and started walking toward the door. “Fill me in on what I missed?”
“Judy told me I needed to take extra good care of myself the next two days. She noticed my sniffle and wants me to hang out at home and not put any stress on myself. I’m honestly okay with that, I would kill to snuggle under a blanket right now and sleep until the surgery.”
“I told you it was a sniffle and not dust in your damned nose.”
“Gabe, I knew it was. Do you have any idea how had it’s been to make certain I don’t show any sign of defeat? I’m almost as tired from that as from the damn cancer.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I’d known you were hiding something from me.”
“Don’t think of it as hiding. Think of it as putting on a brave face because I knew you were hurting as much as I was.”
“That’s not the point.” They stepped into the elevator, and he jammed his finger into the one/ “You shouldn’t be worrying about me.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to not worry about you. You gave up your entire existence to take a chance on me. You didn’t mean for it to happen, but that weighs fairly heavily on a girl.”
The elevator stopped, and she stumbled, her balance hampered from the weakness of her muscles. “I’ve got you.” Helping her to stand upright, he didn’t let her off the hook. “We’re done discussing this. I’ll let it go until we get back to your place because a driver doesn’t need to know about your personal life, but that’s it. We’re talking about you not being fully honest about this.”
“Oh my god.” Unlike before, terror marked that statement.
“What’s the matter?”
“She can see us.” Gabriel’s voice came from just to the right of where he and Cassandra stood. “I’ve shielded you both.”
“What are you doing here?”
His father’s wings were out, almost glowing under the hospital lighting.
“No concern for your father about falling?”
“I know there are loopholes once a human knows.” Gabe scanned the space and saw Carlyle just outside the door. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Perhaps I wanted to meet the human who took my son from me.”
“She did not take me.” Instinctively, he stepped between his father and Cassandra.
“I’m sorry.” Her words were quiet, but audible, as she came to stand beside him. “I did not know who or what your son was until three weeks ago. I even tried to make him promise he’d find a way home if I passed on.”
“Your soul does glow.” Gabriel’s words should have been a compliment.
“Why are you frowning, Father?”
Gabriel kept his attention on Cassandra. “Would you mind giving my son and I a moment alone? There were things left unsaid that I’ve now realized matter.”
“Of course.”
“Not. Of course not.”
“Gabe,” Cassandra leveled him with a stare that he knew meant she was going to be pissed if he didn
’t stop babying her. “Will the angel out there . . . take me home?”
“Yes. Carlyle is Gabe’s mentor.”
“Well, he did a wonderful job.” She tilted her head back, waiting for him to kiss her because she no longer could go on her tiptoes when she was tired. “I will see you soon.”
She walked away, saying something as Carlyle pushed the door open beside the spinning entrance door. Gabe held his tongue just long enough for the door to shut. “What are you doing here?”
“She’s dying. I’ve come to offer you redemption. You fell in love with a human, but you were placed in an impossible situation.”
“I do not love her because I am her Guardian Angel.”
“No, but the bond is what lead you to your actions. You acted honorably. Should you choose to return, your Battle wings will be gifted to you.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “I don’t want them.”
“Do not be foolish.”
“I am not. I found what I wanted. Here. On Earth.”
“She’s going to die.”
“No. She’s not. We just spoke with the doctor. The cancer cells have stopped spreading, and the doctor believes if they remove the tumor, and with a little more chemo, she will be in remission. Cassandra Marks will live.”
Gabriel’s expression was solemn as he folded in his wings. He did not look Gabe in the eye, but merely at the humans working away with no knowledge of what was happening mere steps from them.
“You cannot see the way the darkness swallows her. She is sick. It will take her from this world.”
“I don’t want to hear your manipulations. It’s a small cold. We know it can be dangerous, and we are going to keep her inside, warm, and all the other shit humans do for colds.”
“You are still protecting her, not letting her live or die as she is meant too.”
“That is what a Guardian Angel does.” There was no missing the slight growl of his words.
“Gabe, my son, please. Take this offer -”
“I don’t need it. Move out of my way, or I will force you to strike me down to keep me here. Cassandra will be fine. She is not to hear any of this, and if I find out Carlyle has told her I will accept the wings only to kill him. It will be worth the pain of falling. I’ve lived through it once after all.”
