‘Hello? Anybody home?’ Michelle asks, and I realize that I haven’t heard a word she’s said.
‘Sorry, what were you saying?’ I ask sheepishly.
She shakes her head, puts her toasted sandwich back on her plate, and folds her hands on the canteen table.
‘Ok, out with it.’
‘With what?’
‘With whatever’s been eating you, babes. You came to school, but you left your mind at home today.’
I look down at my own plate, where I’ve neatly arranged my salad according to color, without taking a bite. It feels a little awkward to be confiding in this girl, whom I’ve only known a few days, but I really don’t have anyone else to talk to.
‘How well do you know Kael?’ I ask.
‘Fairly well, I guess,’ she replies, and frowns. ‘What did he do?’
‘Nothing,’ I say hastily. ‘It’s just that he seems -’
‘Hey there ladies, mind if we join you?’
I glance up quickly to see two young male students standing beside our booth. They don’t wait for permission, but slide in alongside us, one next to Michelle, and the other next to me. They seem clean-cut and harmless, but they’re both staring at me and their eyes – neither of them green - have a weird, glassy look, similar to something I’ve seen before but can’t quite place.
‘We’re busy here, boys,’ Michelle says in a hard voice. ‘Leave us alone.’
‘What’s your name?’ The boy next to Michelle asks. He doesn’t even look at Michelle, let alone acknowledge that she has spoken; his eyes, like the boy’s beside me, are glued in my direction. It’s not something I’m used to and I don’t know how to react.
Michelle gives me a look, and it sends a shiver of apprehension down my spine. She elbows the boy next to her, trying to push him out of the booth.
‘Hey,’ he says, swatting at her, but he doesn’t move. I look from him, to the boy next to me, and suddenly realize where I’ve seen that look before. Luke. My heart starts sprinting and I try to squeeze as far away from the boy next to me as possible, but he just follows me, until I’m mashed up between him and the wall.
‘Back off moron!’ Michelle says loudly. My own voice is frozen somewhere deep in my throat, along with my reactions.
‘What’s your – hey, what the -’
The boy beside me shouts in surprise as he is dragged from the booth. Kael stands behind him, holding each boy in one hand by a fistful of shirt. He shoves his face into their line of vision and says, in a low, eerily calm voice:
‘If I ever catch you near my girl again, I will make you regret it. Do you understand?’
Both boys look at him with stunned expressions, and then the one who was sitting next to me swallows and nods. Kael lets go of them both; they stumble back away from him, turn and scramble for the door.
When he’s satisfied they are gone, he turns back to me.
‘You okay?’
I gulp back my surprise and fear, and nod once. Kael frowns, like he doesn’t quite believe me, but he inclines his head.
‘I’ll see you after school then.’
He turns and disappears through the canteen doors.
The whole incident is over in the space of a few minutes, and I’m left wondering if it really happened at all. I look to Michelle, but she is staring at the doorway through which Kael disappeared. Then she looks at me, her expression confused.
‘Whoa,’ she says, ‘did that just happen?’
My heartbeat has slowed to a canter, and the expression on her face, coupled with my nervous energy draws a high pitched giggle from my throat. Michelle gives me a look that says: ‘did you lose your marbles’ and I burst out laughing. I giggle uncontrollably for a minute, and then calm down and apologize to Michelle, who is watching me, looking more concerned by the minute.
‘Sorry,’ I say, ‘I giggle when I’m nervous.’
She looks me up and down dubiously, nods and then shakes her head, like she can’t decide what to do.
‘What the hell just happened?’ she asks.
A burst of laughter spills from my lips, like a choke, but I quickly squash it.
‘I have no idea,’ I say.
‘Has it happened before?’
I think of Luke, and shake my head. I’m not ready to relive that memory yet.
‘But how did he know?’ Michelle asks, ‘How did he get here so fast?’
I shrug and lean back against the booth.
‘I honestly have no clue,’ I say, ‘and when I try to ask Kael about it, he just gets angry.’
Michelle regards me with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
‘I wish I could help you there, hon, but our Saturday lessons never extended to the seastnan bond.’
‘Do you think that’s what it is?’
‘Must be,’ she says.
I lean forward across the table.
‘Don’t you know of anyone else that could tell me?’ I beg. ‘Kael won’t say more than a word and I’m going crazy here.’
‘What about your grandmother?’
‘I can’t ask her.’
‘Why not?’
I look down at the table between us and shake my head.
‘I can’t – I just – what if it’s not normal?’
‘What if what’s not normal?’ Michelle asks.
My cheeks flush and I bury my face in my hands.
‘What’s wrong?’ Michelle asks, genuine concern in her voice. She reaches out and pulls my hands away from my face. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Yes,’ I say quickly, meeting her gaze and then turning away.
‘It’s just that there’s this, I don’t know how to explain it, connection, I guess, between Kael and I and I don’t know if it’s normal.’
‘Of course there’s a connection, he’s your seastnan.’
‘Yes, but is it supposed to be like this?’
‘Like what?’
‘Like, I don’t know – electricity, when we touch.’
Michelle stares at me, round eyed and doesn’t say a word.
‘Well,’ I prompt, ‘is it?’
‘How should I know?’ she asks and I exhale in exasperation.
‘You’re not helping!’
‘Okay, okay,’ she replies. She rests her head thoughtfully on her hand. ‘So, what does it feel like when Tristan, touches you?’
I think for a moment, remember the touch of his fingers against my butterfly marking and reply:
‘It’s kind of the same, I guess, but less intense.’
‘Hmmm.’ Michelle says thoughtfully. She shakes her head. ‘Doesn’t seem quite right, does it? As far as I know the bonds are supposed to be different, more like a brother versus a lover kind of thing, but as I said, there wasn’t exactly a ‘seastnan 101’ module in Maor history.’
She shoots me a sympathetic look.
‘You really need to ask your grandmother, Shay.’
I sit up straight and shake my head vehemently.
‘No way.’
‘But -’ Michelle stops when she sees my expression and sighs. ‘Look,’ she says, ‘If you’re not going to ask then there’s really only one way to find out.’
‘And what’s that?’ I ask, leaning forward on my arms.
‘Trial and error, babes,’ she says with a crooked smile.
Chapter 17
Responsibility
Tastes like: Bitter coffee
Smells like: Baby’s breath
Sounds like: A church bell tolling
Feels like: A shoulder yoke
Looks like: A drooping willow tree
It’s Saturday morning, and I should be at my first Maor history lesson, but Nan has decided that I need some one on one time with her first – before Tristan arrives to pick me up. Sarah, who just happens to be Michelle’s mom, is filling in for Nan as teacher so that she can spend the time with me instead.
I’ve been awake since four o’clock this morning, trying to work up the courage to
ask about the bonds - both of them. I’ve also managed to work myself into a headache over the visit Nan has arranged for me with Tristan. Over the past few days, I’ve been so caught up with thoughts of Kael, the seastnan bond and school, I haven’t given much thought to the fact that I’m expected to marry this man, whom I don’t know.
When I come downstairs after my shower, Nan makes me a mug of mint tea and leads me into the front Victorian sitting room. She perches on one of the wingback chairs, and I sit on the chaise before the window.
‘Right dear,’ she says, ‘there are some things you need to know that other Maor don’t, and today is our chance to discuss them.’
I nod and swallow, then blurt out, before I lose my nerve.
‘Am I really expected to marry Tristan?’
Nan looks a little surprised. She sighs and puts her Royal Doulton teacup down on the coffee table between us.
‘Bluebell,’ she asks, ‘didn’t you feel something, some kind of connection, to Tristan when you met him at the Circle meeting?’
‘Yes,’ I admit. But I feel it with Kael too, I think, although I don’t say it.
‘That is the blood promise bond. Most Maor royalty have years to cultivate the emotional bond that goes with that physical connection. You have not had that opportunity. I promise you, though, that the more time you spend with Tristan, the more drawn to him you will be.’
Nan sees that I am unconvinced and leans forward slightly.
‘Do you think your parents love each other?’
‘Of course,’ I say.
‘And how strong do you think their love is?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean, in comparison to your friends’ parents.’
I think about Jenne’s parents, who are divorced. Not a good comparison. I think of Luke’s parents, who are still together after thirty years and who hold hands when they walk. Even they don’t hold a candle to my parents.
‘It’s much stronger,’ I say, ‘there’s no comparison.’
‘Exactly,’ Nan says. ‘The blood promise bond is one of the strongest links there is. It is as strong as the seastnan bond.’
Nan lifts her teacup and takes a sip of mint tea. I bite my lip. I want to ask which bond is stronger, but I’m afraid of the answer.
‘What if I don’t feel that bond with Tristan?’
‘But you already do,’ Nan says confidently. ‘I was there when you were bonded, and I saw the two of you together at the meeting. The bond is there, you just need to give it a chance to blossom.’
‘And if it doesn’t?’ I insist, cupping my hands tightly around my mug of tea.
‘I can assure you that won’t happen.’
‘But let’s say for arguments sake, that the bond doesn’t ‘blossom’,’ I say. ‘Will you really still expect me to marry him?’
Nan leans forward and puts her teacup back on the table. She clasps her hands in her lap.
‘Shaylee,’ she says, ‘never in the entire history of our kind, has the blood promise failed, and it won’t fail you now. I’m willing to bet that in less than a year, you will be begging to walk down the aisle. In fact, I’m so sure about it, that I’ll make you a deal.’
I shift to the edge of my seat as Nan continues.
‘If, a year from now, you tell me that you don’t want to marry Tristan, you don’t have to, but there are conditions. One: you need to spend as much time with Tristan as possible. Since he works and you go to school during the week, I expect you to spend at least some time every weekend together, getting to know one another.’
I nod my agreement.
‘Two,’ Nan says, ‘you must attend every Circle meeting once a month, and every bi-weekly Maor social gathering.’
‘Um, sure,’ I say, ‘but how is that going to strengthen my bond with Tristan?’
‘It’s not about Tristan. It’s about getting to know your people.’
Nan regards me frankly.
‘It’s not easy being Maor royalty,’ she says. ‘Our people rely greatly on us, to lead them, to keep them safe, and to ensure their survival. Sometimes, that requires sacrifice. I want you to know the Maor you are making decisions and sacrifices for.’
‘Okay,’ I say.
Nan tilts her head and we both take a sip of our tea. She clinks her teacup back onto the table and gives me a look that says ‘let’s get down to business’.
‘Right dear, I want to talk about your responsibilities.’
‘Responsibilities?’ I say, frowning.
‘Yes, as I said, with your position comes responsibility and sacrifice. One of these days, you’ll be expected to take over from me as Queen of this Glen.’
I’m a little overwhelmed by the words Nan is using. When I think of my future, I use words like: ‘dancer’, ‘writer’, ‘poet’, ‘freedom’; which are worlds apart from: ‘responsibility’, ‘sacrifice’ or ‘expected’.
‘But, what about mom?’ I ask. ‘Won’t the baton or crown or whatever pass to her first?’
For a brief second, something sad passes over my grandmother’s face, but then she blinks and I wonder if I really saw it.
‘No Bluebell, you’re next in line.’
‘But -’
‘That’s just how it is.’
Nan’s voice is hard and unrelenting. It’s the second time she’s refused to discuss my mother and it makes me more curious than ever, but I know when to stop. For now.
‘So what responsibilities will I be expected to do?’ I ask. The word ‘expected’ grates even more when I say it and I squirm a little in my seat.
‘You’ll be expected to lead the Circle meetings, make decisions regarding our safety and secrecy, provide an heir, be our representative to the Tanistry and the World meeting, -’
‘Whoa,’ I say, nearly spilling the rest of my tea onto the hardwood floor. I quickly level the mug and put it down onto the coffee table, where it makes a neat little ring on the polished wood. Provide an heir?
‘Don’t worry, dear,’ Nan says, ‘I won’t throw you in the deep end. There’s still a few years left on my watch so I’ll teach you everything you need to know. We’ll start with -’
Nan pauses, looks past me at something outside the window and frowns at the fine gold watch on her wrist. I twist to see what has caught her attention. A silver beamer pulls to a stop in the drive.
‘Looks like Tristan has arrived,’ Nan observes. ‘I’d hoped to have more time with you, but we’ll have to continue another time.’
I hear her footfalls as she makes her way toward the door but I don’t turn. My heart is pounding as I watch Tristan slide from the driver’s seat and walk across the front lawn. He looks confident and casually handsome in his tight-fitting jeans and golf shirt.
When he walks into the room a few moments later, our eyes meet and my wrist begins to tingle faintly. He smiles, a dazzling smile that lights his whole face, and I can’t help but follow. Some of the edginess I felt earlier melts away as he walks across the room toward me.
‘Mo cheannsa,’ he says.
I stand as he stops in front of me and takes my right hand in his left. The tingling in my wrist intensifies, sending warmth through my veins. I like the feeling. I want more of it. My eyes shoot to his and I see my own awareness mirrored there.
‘Hi,’ I say, uncertainly.
‘I’m afraid you’ll have to stay here today, Tristan,’ Nan interrupts from the doorway. ‘Kael has some things to attend to next door.’
Tristan looks surprised and he glances from me to Nan, my hand still in his.
‘I didn’t realize he was coming too. I was just planning on going to the river. Shaylee will be fine with me, Tanya.’
My name sounds like a caress on his tongue. I want to hear it again.
‘I’m afraid Kael won’t like that, Tristan,’ Nan says, shifting uncomfortably. ‘He’s made it quite clear that she is to go nowhere without him.’
‘Surely he didn’t mean to come along on our dates th
ough?’ Tristan asks.
‘I’m sorry, dear,’ Nan says, ‘but it’s up to him entirely. You know he’s only trying to keep her safe.’
‘I’m quite capable of protecting her, Tanya,’ Tristan retorts. The way they speak about me, as though I’m not standing right there makes me want to scream.
‘Of course you are,’ Nan says quickly, ‘but Kael is her protector, and I’m sure you agree that Shaylee’s safety is our first priority.’
Tristan looks as if he is about to argue, but then he glances back at me and reluctantly nods his head.
‘We’ll stay here today,’ he agrees, ‘but I’ll have to discuss this with Kael later.’
‘That’s fine,’ Nan says. She glances between the two of us and smiles a little. ‘I’ll just be in the kitchen, if you need me.’ She turns and disappears through the doorway. Tristan keeps hold of my hand and pulls me down beside him on the chaise.
‘You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you,’ he says softly. He lifts his other hand, brushes my cheek and I melt. The way he looks at me, like I’m a jewel, or a glass of water, leaves me breathless.
‘We’ve got a lot of catching up to do,’ he says, as he laces his fingers through mine. It’s an intimate gesture, but the contact doesn’t make me feel awkward. It’s like my body remembers him.
‘Did we know each other before?’ I ask.
‘Yes, since we were born.’
Why can’t I remember him?
‘But a lot has changed since then,’ Tristan says. His eyes travel the length of me, bringing heat to my cheeks. ‘You’ve grown into a woman.’
This way he says ‘woman’ makes it sound like an accomplishment.
‘As children, we were best friends. I’d like to get to know the woman you’ve become Shaylee. I’d like us to be best friends again and more…’
I’m taken aback at his frankness, and a little afraid. His eyes have become liquid and he drops his gaze to my lips on the word ‘more’. I pull back instinctively.
Five: A Maor Novel (Maor series) Page 10
