by A. R. Perry
That’s when I realize how close Spencer and I have gotten. Mere inches separate our faces and with the way we were screaming it’s no wonder we drew attention.
“No.” I backstep and push a strand of hair out of my face. “Everything is fine.”
His eyes volley between us and it’s clear he didn’t buy my words. Maybe because they lack any conviction. Or maybe it’s the way my voice breaks because everything is not fine. This tension between Spencer and me…this divide is a terrible feeling. A knife straight to the gut that just keeps twisting deeper.
“Then get to class.”
“Yes, sir.” I glance over my shoulder as I pass by Principal Perez. Spencer is standing in the same spot, eyes trained on me, his chest rising and falling as rapidly as it does after a long day of skating.
And like an ass, I leave him there. Clearly, his parents’ breakup is hitting him harder than he let on, but I can’t deal with this new Spencer. What he needs is a few days to cool down. When he’s ready, I’ll welcome him back with open arms.
Hair spray rains down in a thick cloud making me cough. I wanted to be prepared for anything. After all, it rains here this late in spring every once in a while. This hair ain’t moving even in gale force winds.
Light catches the glitter on my top casting mini rainbows on the wall as I step back to examine my outfit. I’ve gone all out. Mom knows about the date so there’s no point in hiding even though Dad has been grumbly since finding out.
I rub my sweaty palms down the front of the skinniest pair of jeans I’ve ever wiggled into. They make my legs appear ridiculously long and paired with black wedges I borrowed from my mom gives the impression of curves I never knew I had.
“You look beautiful,” Mom coos from the doorway.
I smile and shake my head. This is her dream come true, me all glammed up for my first official date. “Don’t think it’s too much? I don’t want to seem like I’m trying too hard.”
“It’s perfect.”
“Guess those shopping trips you forced me on rubbed off after all.” I turn to face her, leaning against my dresser cluttered with borrowed makeup.
Something passes in her eyes—pride, maybe. “Where are you going?”
“Dinner and a movie.” The lie tests bitter on my tongue, but there’s no way in hell she would let me go if I said we would be hanging out in some field drinking cheap beer.
“Curfew is still ten.”
“Got it.” I slip my phone into the back pocket of my jeans. It’s the real reason I wore them instead of a dress. Guess a purse should be added to my shopping list.
“Here.” She holds out a twenty. “Just in case.”
“But you already gave me an advance.” Why am I bringing that up?
If I don’t use it, I can always stash it for emergency board funds.“It’s not part of your allowance. But don’t mention it to your brothers.”
I shove it into the same pocket with my phone and check the time. He’s five minutes late.
“I’m going to go wait for him outside.”
“Wait.” She paces a hand on my shoulder as I try to pass. “We need to meet him.”
The very idea has me cringing. “Please…don’t do this. The whole meeting the parents thing is so outdated. Not to mention embarrassing.”
“So I’m supposed to be okay with my only daughter going out with some guy?”
“Do you meet every girl Will and Ryan date?”
“Well…no.”
I shrug and check the time again. Seven minutes late. “Then don’t push some archaic rule on me. Get with the times, Mom.”
She sighs, seeming to mull it over as the stupid second hand on the clock continues to speed by. I swear if he bails…
“Okay, fine. But if this turns serious we will need to meet him.”
“Deal.” I plant a wet kiss with a smacking sound and all to her cheek. “By the way, the guy is Jax Lever. Okay, bye!” I call, then bolt from the room before she can respond.
I checked the weather earlier, and it’s supposed to stay warm so I skip the jacket and rush outside. In my house, there’s no telling when a brother will be lurking around and having one of them say something stupid to Jax is worse than him meeting my parents.
Once I’m seated on the porch swing my dad built three years ago, I check the time again. Ten minutes. He’s ten minutes late. I’ve never done the whole going on a date thing but I’m thinking it’s not a good sign.
Ten more minutes. That’s all I’ll give him.
As I wait, I push off the ground and let the swing rock. Dad built it for Mom as an anniversary present. For years she kept saying how much she wanted one. My dad being all crafty obliged and now it sits out here to rot. In three years it’s been used twenty times. Poor Dad.
Movement from across the street catches my attention. Spencer walks up to his car, but as if sensing me staring, he glances my way. From where I sit, I can’t see his facial expression, but I’m assuming since he hasn’t said hello, he’s still pissed.
What he has to be pissed about is still unclear. He was the one who agreed to help me win a date with Jax. Granted, it took a lot less effort than I planned for. Apparently, Jax is the type of guy who is easily swayed by pretty dresses. Should have known that judging by his roster of exes.
But still, shouldn’t Spencer be happy for me?
After a few minutes of him standing there with his hand on the roof of his car, he turns and jogs across the street.
He’s wearing a button-down instead of his normal T-shirt. Even has a nice pair of jeans on. Either he’s got another dinner with his parents or a date. His face is blank as he walks up the three steps to my front porch, pausing in front of me.
“Hey.” I plant a foot on the ground, stopping the swing.
“Hey.”
So…this is awkward.
We stare at each other for a few minutes before he sighs and pushes off the banister. The swing rocks as he plops down next to me.
“You look nice.” His gaze travels down my outfit before flashing up to my face. “Seems to me you never needed my help with this whole thing.”
I suppose he’s right. Years of torturous trips to the mall with my mom must have snuck into my brain and planted seeds when I wasn’t paying attention.
I chew on my lower lip, probably messing up the pink lipstick I applied. “I may not have needed your help with this, but I do need you.”
Sad eyes meet mine and Spencer nods once. “I just think…” he trails off, crushing his eyes shut “This is a bad idea—you and Jax. This party especially. You’re going to do what you want but I can’t sit by and watch you make a mistake.”
My heart jumps up so fast and so hard I’m positive I’ll have bruised ribs. “What…what are you saying?”
“Maybe we need some space.”
“Why does it feel like you’re breaking up with me?” My hands twist together in my lap as tears burn my lower eyelids, threatening to wreak havoc on the black liner I rimmed them with.
When I risk a glance up, Spencer is staring at me with…I don’t know what. But it’s not the same carefree expression he normally wears.
“I would never.” He tugs me into a hug and my arms find their way to his neck, pulling him closer. For a second he tenses but then he lets out a harsh breath and melts into me.
“I’ve hated today. Not talking to you. Not singing at the top of our lungs in the car. I don’t think I can do space. Call me selfish, but I need my best friend.” New tears spring to my eyes. “If you haven’t noticed, I don’t have a surplus.”
A frown mars his features as he pulls back. “I don’t…” A puff of air hits me in the face as he lets out a rough exhale.
“You’re my best friend, Spencer. I have a feeling more is going on than you not wanting me to go to a party with Jax. So spill.” My fingers slide through the hair on the back of his neck and I realize we’re still holding on to each other, leaning away so we can meet eye to eye.
“My parents suck.”
I fight the smile simmering under the surface. “Okay, that’s a start.”
His return smile is forced, dripping with sadness. “They used to at least pretend to love each other, you know? Now it’s constant bickering. It’s unbearable.” His full bottom lip slips between his teeth and he looks as if he might say more. Instead, he sighs again. “I still don’t like you going with Jax though.”
“Come on. I can’t cancel now. I already pushed the date back because you seemed like you needed me.”
His stupid frown is back. “When?”
“Our movie night.”
“You actually ditched Jax to be with me?”
“I mean, I wouldn’t call it ditching. We rescheduled, which is why I can’t bail now. Really me going to this party is your fault.”
He laughs so suddenly it catches me off guard and makes me jump away from him. A chill works through my body at the places where his hands once were.
“You’re blaming me for having to go to some shit party?”
“Right. So you have no one but yourself to blame.”
His answering grin makes me smile. “I suppose I can let the party slide if you promise you’re all mine tomorrow.”
Butterflies dance around in my stomach at his words. Or maybe it’s how he said them. In any event, they do not belong in this situation. This is Spencer I’m talking to for crying out loud.
“I think I can make that happen.”
A car honks from the curb by my mailbox. We both turn as the passenger window rolls down and Jax leans over to wave.
“My chariot awaits.” I reach over and ruffle Spencer’s hair as I stand.
He catches my wrist as I go to pull away and rises until he’s hovering over me. “Call me if you need anything. And I mean anything, Everett. I don’t care how late.”
“Yes, Dad.” I wink as I skip down the front steps.
I can feel Spencer’s eyes on me the whole time, a heavy weight almost as if I’m doing something wrong settling in the pit of my stomach
When I get inside the car and Jax smiles at me, those butterflies from earlier are nowhere to be found. Not a single flutter. My attention shifts to the stereo for fear of him seeing the apprehension on my face. That’s when I notice he’s almost thirty-five minutes late. I’d been glued to my phone wondering where the hell he was but the moment Spencer showed up his tardiness was flung right from my mind.
My gaze swings to my porch as Jax pulls away from the curb. Spencer is still standing where I left him, eyes following the car until I lose sight of him.
Why all of a sudden do I feel as if this date was a huge mistake?
By the time we reach the party we’ve covered every small talk topic known to man. To be fair, I might not be giving Jax much to go on. Ever since we hit the freeway, a sick, twisting sensation settled in my gut and the farther we drive the worse it gets until my insides cramped and every turn we make threatens to bring dinner up.
Jax wastes no time jogging over to his friends the second he’s out of the car. I spot Malcolm in the mix, giving him a fist bump as his gaze flits to me. Nothing about his face screams friendly.
Yeah, I don’t think he likes me much.
I hang back, taking in the gathering of people as they huddle around a massive bonfire and sip on beer being pumped from a keg. It’s not as loud or crowded at the party Zoe threw, but I’m still so far out of my element.
Terrifying. A few girls stumble past me, giggling and catching themselves on a rock before righting and continuing on their merry drunken way.
Barely nine and people are wasted.
Now I kind of wish I listened to Spence. Without a wingman this is overwhelming. I don’t know what to say. To do. But I guess standing at the edge of the field like a weirdo while everyone else has fun is the wrong thing.
As I trudge over to where Jax is laughing with his friends, it doesn’t escape my attention he motioned me over. Or paid me any attention since we rolled up.
I force a smile as Jax swings his gaze to me. What I want to do is scream, “Yeah I’m still here, you idiot.”
But I don’t. I’m supposed to be cool, relaxed Rylee. Going against all of my instincts, I bump him with my shoulder and pap up the smile.
“Riles.” Jax throws an arm over my shoulder and tugs me in close, almost spilling his drink down my new shirt. “I was just telling Malcolm that we lucked out he had his party this weekend. We almost had to sit through some chick flick.”
Yeah. Lucky…
“Thanks for inviting me,” I grit out.
“I didn’t.” With that Malcolm turns to one of the other guys I’m pretty sure is on the football team who is having a hard time controlling his laughter at my expense.
“Do you want something to drink?” Jax asks seeming to not notice his friend’s rude comment.
“Whatever you’re having.” I’m not a big drinker, but I don’t want to look more out of place than I feel. Plus, how strong can beer be? Jax tugs me over to where the keg is. Haylee’s face in the crowd catches my attention and I almost nosedive right into the dirt. It’s not a shock that she’s here. It’s shocking the way she is trying to stink-eye my head into a gory explosion.
Poof. No more Rylee to distract Jax from her.
Jax catches me with strong hands on my hips and rights me. I let out a nervous giggle and try not to focus on the fact that his fingers wander up to my ribs as he walks me the rest of the way to the keg. I also try not to notice that instead of feeling excited that he’s touching me, I’m a little icked out.
“Beer my girl here.” Jax plants a soft kiss on my neck and my eyes flick to Haylee.
Yup. Still wishing for my death.
After an awkward stare-down, she flips her black hair over her shoulder and stalks off, her two besties close in tow. Zoe is missing from the gang, which I guess is a good thing.
Unless she skipped the party to be with Spencer…
A sharp pang shoots through my stomach.
I shake it off and take a sip of the beer I’m handed. Why do I care if Spencer is with Zoe? It’s been forever since he dated. I should be happy for him. I am happy for him. I just need to—
Jax plants another kiss on my neck, lower this time where the fabric of my shirt slipped off my shoulder. I freeze at the contact, the guy who handed me the beer cocks an eyebrow and smirks making this feel that much dirtier.
I spin around, knocking Jax back a step and take another drink. Jax doesn’t seem fazed by my attempt to move away from him. In fact, the motion almost seems to encourage him.
He covers the distance in a few steps, wrapping me in his arms when I try to wiggle backward again. I don’t know why I’m acting like this. Being in his arms has been a dream of mine for years. And he’s doing it in front of all the most popular kids at school. But maybe that’s why it feels so gross. It’s as if he wants attention. Wants everyone including Haylee to see. My eyes automatically search her out, but I don’t find her in the crowd.
“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?” Jax whispers in my ear, his hands sliding lower until they rest on my lower back a tad too close to my butt.
“No. We were too busy discussing weather and summer plans.” I take my third drink of beer. My limit for the night. Need to toss this out. No way in hell I want to get plastered out in the middle of nowhere.
“Well, you do.” His lips find my neck again like a damn heat-seeking missile. “These jeans…” His hands sink into my back pocket and there is definite gropage.
My heart flies so fast into my throat I almost choke on it. Holy shit. Jax is grabbing my ass as if it’s no big thing. Af if I go around letting guys put their hands all over me.
I take an unsteady step back, cursing myself for wearing heels when I almost trip. Jax’s hands fall to his side and he’s staring at me as if I told him I think the world is flat.
“I, uh…have to use the bathroom.”
Jax motions to a pat
ch of trees twenty feet away. “Have at it.”
“I…” What? “You want me to pee outside?”
“Malcolm doesn’t let anyone in his house. Party rule.” Jax shrugs and polishes off his beer. “Want another?”
I glance down at my half-full cup. “No. I’m good.”
“I’m going to go grab another. Hurry back with your fine ass.”
My head nods meanwhile my brain is screaming, What the hell?
As I walk toward the trees, I check my phone. Shit. It’s almost ten. He was so late picking me up I didn’t even stop to think how little time that would give us. Judging by his party mentality, I don’t think he’s game for leaving so early.
I chew on my lip as I lean on the rough bark of a pine tree. I don’t have to pee, I just wanted to get away from that situation. This whole plan of capturing his attention went from zero to one hundred in the blink of an eye. I’m so not prepared for everything I assume he expects from the girls he dates.
For crying out loud I’ve only ever kissed two boys. One of which was an unfortunate game of seven minutes in heaven that ended with a black eye when Billy Thompson tried to grope my boob.
Yeah. He never talked to me again after that then ended up moving to another state the next year.
But Jax…I tap my phone on my forehead. I just have to get him alone on a normal date. Once I get to know him better, I’m sure all those butterflies will come and his hands on me will be the only thing I want.
When I reach the outskirts of the bonfire, I see Jax by the keg with Ava Rossi all up on his junk. Freaking hyenas. I couldn’t have been gone for longer than five minutes.
I trudge over, clutching my phone in a tight fist because Jax doesn’t appear bothered by the grinding this girl is doing on his crotch. In fact, he has this smug air about him.
Just an everyday occurrence for Jax Lever. I stop dead in my tracks, taking in the rest of the group as they seem to pair up making out and groping all over the place. Spence might have been right about this. Totally not my scene.
Before Jax sees me, I slip away, heading out toward where he parked. I scroll through my contacts until I find his name.
