by Tessa Gray
“Aw, shucks.” Stephanie blushed at the remark, but Meredith decided she wouldn’t let her off the hook that easily. On many levels, Stephanie was her direct opposite, someone doing many good deeds, expecting little in return.
Meredith, on the other hand, did little for people and expected them to fuss over her. Being here in Alpine was having a strange effect on her, allowing her to view herself in the third person, and she didn’t particularly like what she saw.
“Very few people I know love their jobs the way you do, Stephanie. I wish I could be more like you. You seem so contented with your life. I know you’re a single mother raising three kids. I don’t know how you do it. Seriously, I don’t.”
“I’ve gotten a lot of help over the years, Meredith. There are plenty of people out here willing to lend a helping hand if you reach out to them.”
Asking for help was not a strong point for Meredith, and she felt her defenses heighten as she realized she was not about to start now. But as she thought of the C- she’d received on her linguistics exam and the fact she was barely making enough money to keep afloat, she considered that she might very well be in over her head.
She’d considered asking Adam to help her find a tutor, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do that. In her world, if you asked for help that meant you owed somebody something. It was a lesson she’d learned during her childhood. Everyone had an angle.
Meredith hadn’t realized how quiet she’d become until Stephanie reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
When Stephanie handed her a tissue, she dabbed at her eyes. “Oh, gosh, will you just look at me. I’m turning into a regular drama queen, here. I’m all right, Stephanie. Trust me. I’ve got a lot going, but I’ll muddle through it. I always do. It’s in my genes. Don’t go worrying about me now. I’d better grab my stuff and head home. It’s getting late. See you Monday.”
She grabbed her purse from under the counter and left before Stephanie could respond.
When she got inside her vehicle, she pulled up two missed calls. She needed to get home and check on the kids, but she was almost afraid of what she’d find. Cocking her head, she listened intently to the first message.
“Hey, lady. It’s Kelsey. Rachel and I decided you need a getaway weekend. Nathan and I insist on watching Carly and Travis while you and Rach head up to Big Bend. No arguments, everything is arranged. I’ve already got four kids, two more aren’t going to make much difference.”
Meredith smiled, dumbstruck that Kelsey would take on so much. Of course, Nathan would be a big help. The two worked as a team.
It was the second message that spoiled everything.
“Blake, here. I decided that if I’m going to pay out all this damn money for child support, you’re going to move back here so I can see the kids more. Either you get your sorry butt back here, or I’m done paying child support. End of discussion.”
Furious at the man she’d given eighteen years of her life to, she called him back. When the phone went to voice mail, she quickly set the record straight.
“Stop with the empty threats, Blake. The divorce will be final next month. If you’re even dreaming about not paying child support, I’ll have an attorney out there so fast your head will spin. I suggest we both handle this like adults, for the sake of the kids. When you want to behave like an adult, give me a call, and maybe we can work something out. You agreed to the terms of this separation, and you need to honor that.”
She slammed down her cell phone and leaned back in her seat, smiling to herself. For a woman who had let her husband order her around during most of their marriage, everything was about to change.
Chapter 7
On Saturday morning, Jake Crenshaw pulled the blanket over his head one last time before tapping the snooze button with his fist on his clock radio. He already regretted volunteering to close up his bar the previous evening because he’d barely gotten five hours of shut-eye. But when your life revolved around bartending, that’s just how things were.
His spirits lifted when he considered that by nightfall, he’d be at Big Bend National Park with Rachel. She and Meredith had headed up there the previous evening, unaware he was planning on crashing the party. He’d coerced Adam into going, pretending they’d be spending two days hiking through the woods. If everything worked according to his plan, Adam and Meredith would finally get together and that way, he’d have Rachel all to himself.
He sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Time to get a move on, since he still had to pack. If it’d just been Rachel and him going camping, he’d hardly need anything. The two of them normally spent most of their time under the blankets, screwing the hell out of each other. He smiled and decided to quit thinking about her before he got himself all worked up.
When his cell phone vibrated, he leaned over to see who’d texted him. Rachel’s number flashed on the screen, and he grinned.
He read the message. Miss you. Mere’s a total downer.
Jake smirked, thankful the girls had left the night before, giving Rachel plenty of time to miss him.
He decided to text her back, being careful not to spoil the surprise. Miss those gorgeous legs wrapped around my back.
She texted him back.
Pig.
He decided to put this to an end, because if they stayed on the phone much longer, this would turn into full blown phone sex.
Heading into the bathroom for his morning shower, Jake exhaled deeply. By nightfall he and Rachel would be banging the hell out of each other. As for what Adam and Meredith decided to do, well, that was their call, not his.
~ ~ ~
Meredith checked her watch for the third time in five minutes. The camping trip had been nothing like she’d imagined. Had she thought this through, she’d never have agreed to go. She wasn’t cut out for this type of thing, neither was Rachel, for that matter. Both women had borrowed sleeping bags from friends, sleeping bags so lightweight they did little to shield them from the cold.
She stared at the rugged terrain, wondering what had possessed her to agree to go camping. Although she’d initially thought several days in the woods might be exactly what she needed, so far, it was a bust.
Meredith’s thoughts drifted to her friend, Gloria. She’d need to start returning her friend’s calls soon. Initially, she’d made the decision not to phone Gloria until her life began turning around. While things were certainly going much better, she didn’t want to talk to Gloria until things were in perfect order.
Unaccustomed to having her life in such disarray, she chewed on her bottom lip and sighed. She glanced over at Rachel who was sitting on the opposite end of the picnic table. Judging by the serious expression on her face, she was just about to begin another one of her heart-to-heart talks. All they boiled down to, of course, was Rachel telling Meredith what she needed to do to get her life back on track. And more often than not, it included the suggestion that Meredith begin dating.
Rachel cleared her throat several times before speaking. “I’m sorry I’ve spent so much time talking about Jake. It’s just that you’ve been so quiet, so I’m trying to get your mind off your own problems, but clearly, it’s not working. I brought you up here so we could talk, like we used to. You used to share everything with me, Meredith. What’s going on?”
Rachel’s green eyes searched hers, but for the first time in a decade, Meredith couldn’t tell her friend what was troubling her. It was pointless. If Blake didn’t change his tune and decided to contest the terms of their upcoming divorce, she’d be forced to drop out of college and head back to Dallas. She’d been an utter fool to believe she could put her life in order this quickly. It would all come back to bite her. She was so overwhelmed now she could barely hold her head up.
She took a deep breath and decided just to come out
with it.
“I didn’t want to tell you this before because you’re the one who encouraged me to move out here.” When Rachel reached across the picnic table and patted her hand, Meredith felt herself choking up. She forged ahead, wondering if she could get through this. “Blake’s given me an ultimatum. If he’s going to continue paying me child support, he needs more access to the kids. Initially, he agreed to let me move out here for a year, but he’s changed his mind.”
“That son-of-a-bitch. He doesn’t give a tinker’s damn about Carly or Travis. He’s just trying to control you, Meredith, trying to screw things up for you.” Rachel’s eyes blazed with anger as she pounded her fist down on the table. “You can’t go back to the way things were, Mere. You just can’t. Don’t give up. You’ve come so far!”
“Well — I thought that too, at first. I called his bluff and left a voice mail. But last night he phoned me and said if I don’t change some of the language in the divorce papers, he’ll insist I move back to Dallas. And then there’s the matter of my mother. She hates the fact that I live so far away. I feel as though everything’s closing in, Rach. One minute I feel on top of the world, as though I can do this, and the next thing I know the carpet’s being pulled out from under me.”
Rachel bolted from the table, raced around the other side, and grabbed her by the arm. “Screw your mother, Meredith. Screw everyone. You can do this. I know you can.”
More than anything, she wanted to believe Rachel — wanted to believe she could do this. But, as she looked up into the trees and stared at the sun’s rays flicking through the forest, she realized that even with the best of intentions, Rachel wouldn’t be able to help her out of the cavern she’d fallen into.
She was just about to share her misgiving with Rachel when a red pickup truck pulled up with Jake Crenshaw sitting in the driver’s seat and Adam Lightfoot in the passenger’s side. She nearly keeled over.
Jake slammed on the brakes, climbed from the vehicle, and raced over to where the women sat. Rachel jumped to her feet, a stupefied expression on her face. “What in the world are you guys doing here?”
Nice try, Rachel. Meredith seethed silently, glaring at her friend.
Adam sat rigidly in the truck, as though paralyzed. He waited nearly a minute before jerking open the truck door and jumping out. He didn’t say a word, but Meredith could read his lips, “WTF.”
She jumped to her feet to join Rachel when Adam thrust both hands into his pockets and glared at Jake. His dark eyes blazed with anger, and Meredith realized Jake had pulled a fast one. The campout was just supposed to be for Rachel and Mere; he’d crashed the party. And it appeared that Adam Lightfoot had unknowingly been drawn into his little scheme.
Unable to hide her anger, she quickly set the record straight. “Is this your idea of a joke, Rachel? I had no idea you’d invited anyone else.”
“I knew nothing about this, Meredith. I swear it.” Rachel’s head bobbed as she made the pronouncement, but Meredith wasn’t buying it, not for a second.
To Jake’s credit, he came to bat for Rachel. Stepping toward Meredith, he held a hand up, as though shielding himself from her wrath. “Simmer down, missy. Rachel didn’t know we were going to show up. It was my idea.”
Meredith didn’t know which to be angrier about, the fact he’d referred to her as missy or that he had the balls to think they’d welcome him with open arms. And why the hell did he bring Adam along?
She took several deep breaths and turned toward Rachel. “Get rid of them, Rach. I mean it, because if you don’t, I’m taking the damn car keys and driving myself home.”
Jake moved toward her and reached out to grab her arm but she jerked away.
“I don’t need this crap, Jake. Contrary to what you might think, the world doesn’t revolve around you. I suppose you don’t think Rachel can have a decent time without you. God, you men are all so arrogant.” She stopped suddenly and began directing her anger at Adam. “I hope you didn’t come here with any expectations.”
Up until now, Adam had been standing silently, hearing her out. But suddenly his demeanor changed. He walked over to her, his glare so intense she nearly had to turn away. When he clenched his jaw, she saw the muscles tightening. After he’d swallowed several times, he let her have it. “If you’re implying that I came here to sleep with you, I assure you that’s the furthest thing from my mind. You’re not my type, trust me!”
She felt her self-esteem plummet as he continued glaring at her.
Rachel quickly stepped in, positioning herself between Meredith and Adam. “That’s uncalled for, Adam. She’s going through a rough patch. You don’t need to pile it all on her.”
“Hell, she’s always going through a rough patch. That’s the story of her life.” Adam’s tone was harsh, and Meredith regretted lighting into him as she had. She was angry with life in general, not with him. But for some reason, she couldn’t help taking it out on a man she barely knew.
Humiliated that she’d behaved so impulsively, Meredith did the only thing she could to save face. “I’m going for a walk. I need to clear my head.”
She raced into the woods, wishing she could take it all back.
~ ~ ~
Adam breathed a sigh of relief when Meredith left. The more he got to know Meredith Chapman, the more confused he became. He thought about her two children, Carly, in particular, and wondered how Meredith was ever going to survive at being a single mom.
“Adam, did you have to come down on her so hard?” Rachel stood rigidly, both hands on her hips as she lashed out at him.
The remark infuriated him. He was just about to remind Rachel that her friend had attacked him when he noticed her wiping away several tears. As her lower lip quivered, he suddenly lost his appetite to argue with her.
He chose his words carefully, and kept his tone even, determined not to make things worse.
“I’m sorry if you think I overreacted. The reason I’m so angry about this, Rachel, is because Meredith attacked my motives. She barely knows me, so in my opinion, her comments were way out of line. Surely you agree.”
Jake hurried over to comfort Rachel and wrapped his arms about her.
Rachel sniffed several times and continued defending Meredith. “Her entire life is falling apart, Adam. Blake’s threatened to stop paying alimony. If she doesn’t move back to Dallas, he’ll cut off her child support. She’ll end up having to leave college. College is her ticket out, Adam. Without a degree, I don’t know how she’ll manage on her own.”
He exhaled sharply, the adrenalin rush he’d felt when arguing with Meredith finally subsiding. “I, I had no idea how bad things had gotten.”
“She’s in so much pain, it’s paralyzing her.” Rachel looked up at him and Jake. “In all the years I’ve known Meredith I’ve never seen her so upset. It’s as though she’s completely given up. This is so unlike her. And now . . . I’m so worried about her.”
“I’m sure she’ll come right back, Rach. She probably just needs to clear her head.” Jake leaned over and gave Rachel a kiss after he spoke, and for a split second, Adam suspected Jake was probably right.
But Rachel’s next comment weighed heavily on him. “Adam, seriously. I’m worried. I’m really, really worried. She’s not a ‘walk in the woods’ kind of gal.”
Adam knew this part of Big Bend almost by heart, and he made the decision to make amends and just go find Meredith. “I’ll go find her. There’s a place not too far from here that’s nice to hike and kinda private. I suspect if Meredith doesn’t want to be around a lot of people right now, if she stumbles on that clearing, she’ll settle there to think.”
Rachel nodded and moved slightly to the left of where Adam stood. “Jake, just to be sure, if Adam’s taking the middle path, I’ll head right. Will you take the path on the left? I just need to know she’s ok
ay.”
“Of course.” Jake leaned over and kissed the top of Rachel’s head. “We’ll find her, babe. Don’t worry.”
For the first time, Adam saw things more clearly, from Meredith’s perspective.
She’d come out here for moral support, but her friend, Kelsey, was married to a man who put in twelve-hour days. And that, of course, placed raising four children squarely on Kelsey’s shoulders. Kelsey was a good soul, but all things considered, she simply didn’t have time to provide much support. Rachel, of course, was too wrapped up in her relationship with Jake to offer much help.
Had he taken the time to see things from Meredith’s point of view, he’d have realized that she was pretty much on her own. And who wouldn’t be challenged, living this far from the only home you’d ever known, trying to raise two kids?
Racing over to the truck, he opened the door and reached into the backseat grabbing several water bottles. “We’ll need to stay hydrated when we look for her. Better take some water.” He tossed Rachel and Jake several bottles before retrieving some for himself and Meredith, should he find her.
“See you in a few.” He raced down the path, hoping they’d find her quickly. He suspected when it came to surviving in the wilderness, Meredith was sorely lacking in expertise. She’d already failed the first test because she’d headed into the woods without anything to drink.
~ ~ ~
Meredith stood atop a large hill, the rage that had bubbled up inside her subsiding. The downside of that, of course, was apathy. She couldn’t recall a time she felt so defeated, and with that defeat came surrender.
