by Tessa Gray
In a way, it was all for the best. When you took on someone else’s kids, you never knew what to expect. And in the event Carly continued experiencing problems, he’d end up being blamed. Katrina, among others, would be all over that.
“I’ll help you and the kids find a place, since that’s what you want. Personally, I don’t think this will solve the problems you’re having with Carly, but I respect your decision.”
“I wish things were different, Adam, really, I do. This is just temporary. I know we’ll always be there for each other. When the time is right, we’ll pick up right where we left off.”
He’d figured out years ago that relationships were never stationary, they were either moving forward or backward. He’d been down this road once before. He knew the drill by heart. In the scheme of things, either a relationship was strong enough to survive a crisis, or it wasn’t.
For the first time in months, he felt clarity.
~ ~ ~
Late that evening, Meredith sat on the edge of Carly’s bed, lamenting over the mistakes she’d made.
Her daughter pulled a blanket around her, her eyes glistening with tears. It was obvious she had regrets about running away.
“I was going to come back, Mama. Honest, I was. I just didn’t feel like going to school. I’m really sorry about what I did.”
Meredith gazed at a daughter who was slowly slipping away from her. While she understood how devastating it had been for both children to be uprooted from a home they loved, Carly was doing everything in her power to prevent herself from adjusting to a more rural lifestyle. If they didn’t get a handle on this-didn’t help Carly stop self-destructing, the consequences would destroy the family.
She stared at a daughter who had once snuggled against her as they read bedtime stories together. Just a few years ago the two lay under the stars, renaming all the constellations for the fun of it. How had things changed so drastically, turning Carly into someone she no longer recognized? The old Carly would never have run away like this.
Crawling up beside her daughter, Meredith pulled the girl in her arms, burying her face in Carly’s hair.
“Mama, I made you sad.”
Kissing the top of Carly’s head, she released her. The talk she was about to have with Carly was long overdue. Determined to turn things around, and get everything out in the open, she spoke.
“Honey, I know you’re overwhelmed with all the changes in our lives. This has probably been just about the worst year you’ve ever had.”
Carly nodded at the remark and leaned against her shoulder. “I wish I could go back to my old school. Travis likes it here, but I don’t.”
“What can I do to help make that happen, Carly-to help you to like it here?” When her daughter didn’t reply, Meredith tried to take a stab at what might be frustrating Carly. “You’ve mentioned several times that you don’t think the theatre department at your school is very good. Would you like me to check into some theatre groups in the surrounding communities? I’d be happy to do that for you, honey.”
“Well, maybe?” Carly hesitated for a minute and brushed several tendrils of hair away from her eyes. “I suppose before we go somewhere else to check out their theatre, I could try out for a play at school just to see what it’s like.”
Meredith grabbed her daughter’s hand and squeezed it. “I think that’s a fine idea.” For the first time in months, she felt a tiny glimmer of hope.
But then she realized they hadn’t talked about the elephant in the room. Clearing her throat, she released her daughter’s hand and looked her square in the eyes.
Carly dipped her head and spoke. “I think I already know what you’re going to say, Mom. I guess you’re going to ground me for what I did.”
Meredith seized the opportunity to make this a teaching moment. “If you were in my shoes, Carly, what would you do?” Her daughter jerked her head back up-a wide-eyed expression on her face.
“You’re letting me pick my own punishment?”
Scrunching up her face, Meredith sighed. “Well, I wouldn’t go quite that far. But I’m willing to hear you out. Like me, you’re pretty opinionated, so this is your chance, Carly. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“If I were you, I’d probably take away my cell phone for a month.” She frowned and continued. “I probably wouldn’t miss it all that much. It’s not like I have many people to call.”
Meredith frowned. “Then let’s try and change that, Carly. I meant what I said about wanting to help you adjust here.”
“Well, then, here’s what I think is the right punishment. If you take away my phone for a while, that’s okay. I deserve that. You should probably make me do some work around the house to help you out. Maybe you could pay me.”
Meredith laughed aloud, aware her daughter was very adept at getting what she wanted. Still, she did like the idea of getting Carly to pitch in. There was no reason a thirteen-year-old couldn’t give her a hand with housework. “Well, I’ll consider that. It probably wouldn’t be all that much, but I could pay you something.”
“I could use some of the money to color my hair. When I started doing it, I didn’t realize how expensive hair dye could be.”
Her daughter’s idea pleased her, mainly because it was a clear indication she understood how to take on responsibility. “I’ll draw up a plan, Carly. We can talk about which chores you should do and how much I’ll pay you.”
Carly fluffed up her pillow and pulled the blankets about her neck. “I’m kinda tired, Mom. Do you mind if I go to sleep, now?”
“Not at all, sweetie.” Meredith climbed from the bed and stooped over, kissing Carly several times. “You and Travis are my whole world, Carly. I love you both so much. I just want you to know that. I don’t say it often enough, but it’s the truth.”
“I love you to the moon and back, Mama.”
“Me, too, baby.” That was all Meredith could say because the events of the day had drained her.
She left her daughter’s room, wishing things were different. As things stood, she needed to focus solely on her children. But in that process, Adam was getting caught in the crossfire.
Chapter 19
Bob Gustafson smiled when the screen on his phone displayed his daughter’s name. He hadn’t heard from her for several weeks. Under ordinary circumstances he would have given her a call, but he realized she was probably busy fixing up her new apartment. And most likely, adjusting to life without Adam. Which was, in a way, a real shame. He liked Adam very much, but he understood his daughter’s determination to remove anything from her life that she felt interfered with her role as a mother.
“Hi, honey. How’s everything in Alpine?”
“Things are good, Dad-really, really good. I can’t believe I moved here less than half a year ago. It already feels like home.” She sounded strong, and he felt a huge sense of relief.
“You sound wonderful, Meredith. How are the kids doing?”
“They’re actually doing great. Travis is very involved in baseball, and Carly got a part in the school play. She plays it down, but I think she’s thrilled about it.”
“You be sure and let your mom and me know when she’s performing. We’ll fly there to see her.” Intent on not showing partiality to one grandchild, he added, “If you’ll email us Travis’s game schedule, we’ll be sure and make it to a couple of his games.”
“Oh, Dad, that would be just perfect. The kids seem to finally be adjusting.”
“You must be gratified by that.”
“I am.” She hesitated before continuing. “It looks as though if I take classes this summer, and a couple in the fall, I’ll finish up by next year. Then I can move back home and look for a teaching position.”
“Won’t you need to do your student teaching in Alpine?”
“I—well—I spoke with my advisor, and she said she could probably put in a good word for me in a district near you. Once she does, I can apply to a place in the Dallas area and student teach there.”
He made the decision to guard his words carefully, while, at the same time, trying to get a pulse on whether or not his daughter still had any type of relationship with Adam Lightfoot. “Since the children appear to be adjusting to small town life so well, I just assumed maybe you’d consider staying there. I know you and Adam aren’t dating anymore, but I suspect you still consider him a friend. And, of course, your friends, Rachel and Kelsey live there.”
“Nothing gets past you, does it, Daddy?”
He laughed, pleased he’d made his point. While Katrina had practically thrown a party over the fact Meredith was no longer seeing Adam, he wasn’t convinced his daughter was happy with the decision she’d pretty much been forced to make.
“Are you and Adam seeing other people, then?”
It took several seconds for her to reply. “Umm, no, at least, I don’t think so. I mean I’m not seeing anyone. As for Adam, I haven’t seen him with anyone. Of course, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t moved on.”
“Maybe for him moving on just means picking up the pieces and continuing to focus on teaching.”
“That could well be, Dad. He’s also very involved in building houses for Habitat for Humanity and always seems to be volunteering for something. He appears to keep himself busy, from what Jake’s told me.”
Bob decided not to toss out the possibility that maybe Adam was trying to fill a void.
“Well, you be sure and tell Adam I said ‘hello’ the next time you see him. Even though the two of you aren’t involved any longer, I have a great deal of respect for the man.”
“I’ll do that, Daddy, and yes, he’s a man of character. Adam has a great deal of integrity.”
“You can’t put a price on that, can you, honey?”
When Meredith didn’t respond to what he said, he decided to end their conversation. Maybe she’d let his words sink in and realize that eventually she’d figure out that she could focus on more than one thing at a time. There was no reason in the world why she couldn’t be a good mother and also establish a loving relationship with Adam. Clearly, she loved him, and he had the feeling Adam loved her, as well.
~ ~ ~
Meredith glanced over Carly’s shoulder, and when she saw the massive number of messages her daughter had received, she quickly put a stop to things. “Carly, log off. Look over your homework for tomorrow and make sure it’s perfect.”
“Mom, come on . . .”
“I mean it.” When Carly began logging off, Meredith breathed a sigh of relief.
The last few weeks had proven difficult because she missed Adam desperately. But as far as the kids were concerned, things had improved significantly. Adam’s initial criticism of how she enabled her children stung, but there was truth to much of what he said.
Meredith had taken the cash her mother gave Carly and forced her daughter to pay for her own tutoring lessons since the reason she was behind academically was because of her truancy. It was her first attempt at tough love, and it was working. Not all the time, of course, but enough of the time to convince her that Adam had been right all along.
Meredith sauntered over to the window and stared outside. He hadn’t called, a clear indication the relationship was over.
Adam generally hung around the campus after classes, often tutoring students who struggled. She marveled at how much work this man put into teaching. And he did it selflessly, all for the students. There were few people she knew who were as dedicated to their profession. While she was excited about the prospect of teaching, she wondered if she’d be half as dedicated as Adam was. She hadn’t anticipated missing him this much.
Make the first move. Tell him how you feel about him. Don’t let this opportunity slide by.
She jumped to her feet and decided to take a late afternoon drive over to the university. Adam often worked long after his classes had ended, and she hoped against hope that the two of them would at least run into one another. She considered calling him, giving him a head’s up on her plan to drive over to Sul Ross, but quickly talked herself out of it.
“I’m going to drive over to the college for a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”
“Are you going to see Adam?” Travis had been sitting on the kitchen floor, playing with his Gameboy but stared up at her when she made the announcement.
“No, no, Travis. I left something at the school. I just need to go get it. I should be back in half an hour.”
“If you see Adam, say ‘Hey.’” Carly looked up at her mom, and when Meredith saw how serious she suddenly looked, it occurred to her that she might not be the only one who missed him.
Meredith walked out to the car, jammed the key into the ignition and headed over to the college.
By the time she arrived, she’d already made the decision to broach Adam about the possibility of them moving back in together during the summer. Both children would be staying at the lake house with her father for at least a month. It would be the opportune time for them to sort things out. He was right about several things, and his comment about him having to make all the concessions in the relationship still haunted her. She intended to make things right now, to put more effort into the relationship.
Climbing from the car, she hurried through the large, glass doors leading to the cafeteria. That was generally where Adam sat with his cup of coffee, pouring over his textbooks. The students, of course, sat with their laptops, but not Adam. He was an old soul, still intent on flipping through pages of textbooks rather than fiddling around with the search engine on a computer.
She’d barely gotten inside the cafeteria when she saw the back of his head. His hair had begun growing out again, reminding her of all the times she’d run her fingers through it as the two made love. As she moved closer, she inhaled the faint smell of musk. She missed his scent, missed his voice, missed the way he wrapped his arms about her whenever the two of them made love.
At that moment, she realized she’d do anything to make things right between them.
God, Adam. I miss us.
Taking several deep breaths as she walked toward him, she made an effort to focus on the moment. She walked as casually as possible up to the spot where he sat. She continued standing behind him, wanting her visit to be a total surprise. When she touched his shoulder, he whirled around.
“Oh . . . Hello, Meredith.” She’d initially thought he’d be pleased to see her, but he was frowning now. His dark eyes narrowed, just as they always did when he was frustrated.
A tall, willowy woman with an olive complexion and dark eyes strode toward them. Meredith didn’t recall having ever seen around campus. “Adam, we’d better get a move on. The reservations at the Reata are for five-thirty.”
Adam jumped to his feet, and judging by the way his jaw was clenched, the situation proved awkward. But he quickly gained his composure and made introductions. “Fiona, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Meredith Chapman.”
A friend of mine . . . Meredith’s heart sank at Adam’s nonchalant description of their once torrid—although brief—relationship.
Fiona quickly extended a hand and smiled warmly at her. “Pleased to meet you, Meredith. I’m Fiona Lightfoot.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Fiona. I had no idea Adam had a sister.”
Offering a smug smile, Fiona replied, “I’m not his sister. I’m his wife.”
“Ex-wife,” Adam spat out quickly, clarifying the misconception Fiona deliberately prese
nted.
Meredith gave herself a mental scolding for always assuming she was the only woman in Adam’s life. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.
She could feel her face heat as she struggled to think of a gracious way to escape this fiasco. “I just remembered something that I left at the diner. I’d better go get it before they close for the night.”
As she fled from the cafeteria, she secretly wondered if Adam was amused that for once it was she who was embarrassed. Unlike other times, this time it was Adam Lightfoot that sat in the driver’s seat.
She never looked back as she made her abrupt departure, but she did hear Adam say, “Good to see you again, Meredith.”
Whatever.
~ ~ ~
Adam ordered a whiskey the instant he and Fiona arrived at the Reata. He hadn’t expected to run into Meredith when Fiona was in town. Awkward didn’t begin to describe the situation. He hadn’t seen Meredith on campus in over two weeks, and running into her while his ex was in town was a fluke.
Why had Meredith walked into the college cafeteria in the middle of the afternoon? She always worked afternoons at the diner on Tuesdays. Had she lost her job?
Frustrated with himself for still worrying about her, he tried to focus on the menu. He could feel Fiona studying him as he pretended to be looking at the food selections.
“I’m grateful you agreed to see me, Adam.” Fiona leaned back in her chair, took a large gulp of the Cabernet she’d ordered, and gazed at him intently. “I’ll get right to the point.”
“I appreciate that.” After he made the comment, her large, brown eyes held the slightest hint of sadness.
She set the glass down, looked him squarely in the eye and began reminiscing. “I lost a part of myself when Grace died.”
Why was she doing this?
“If I had to do it over, I’d do things differently.” She didn’t wait for him to ask for specifics because he never had been one to look back. “Do you ever wonder what would have become of us if I’d taken your advice and tried to make our marriage work? You always wanted more children, Adam, and here we are, single and childless.”
