Jordan hadn’t given much thought to that part of their plan. It was one thing to keep the truth about his daughter from him, but he was not about to add another lie to it. “Tell you the truth…I don’t rightly know. I ain’t never seen her with no man; nobody I work with say nothin’ ‘bout no man. Ain’t no man I ever see go in that cabin, and no man ever I see coming out.”
Manny leaned back in the chair exhaling. “Well, there is a man… because I’ve seen the child.”
“Maybe so…but he ain’t ‘round her now.”
“Jordan I never thought she would have given herself to another man. I didn’t want to believe it; but even I cannot deny what my eyes have seen.”
“I thought what she and I had was something special. I don’t know…maybe she did it…to hurt me - like I hurt her…marrying Katherine the way I did.”
“Maybe.” Jordan agreed simply.
“Does she seem happy Jordan? Without me…you think?”
“I told you…I don’t see her much. I got no way o’ knowing.”
Manny shook himself for being ridiculous…he was weakening; he could feel himself giving in. He wanted her back so bad, he wondered could he accept the child…just accept it and move on? However, he kept going back to the thought that she didn’t love him as he had her, because otherwise…she would have waited for him. Stayed true to him; but she hadn’t…she’d reached out for someone else, even if temporarily…and the results were perfectly clear. It would never be the same…it just couldn’t be. He then grew angry with himself because he couldn’t balance his feelings of fairness. He couldn’t accept his part of causing what happened by marrying and fathering a child with Katherine…even though she miscarried – he realized that he was selfish for that. He couldn’t see that side of justice …and hated that in himself… that he wanted her as she had been… untouched by any other, his and his alone – again, possessive, selfish and prideful. He needed a detour from such thoughts.
“Well, I guess I’ll go turn in now, you should as well. Tomorrow I’ll be going in the fields with you, checking up on you to see how you’ve done in my absence.” He joked. Jordan chuckled, not at all offended.
“Yeah you bes’ get some rest. Get that head clear to learn somethin’. When you see how right thangs is now, you be wonderin’ how come you ain’t do so well yo’self! No worry though, I sit you down, school’yah like I would if you was a city boy.”
“My my, I can’t wait till morning comes!” Manny stood chuckling.
“No worry, i’s just a few hours away. I see you then.” Jordan promised smiling. Manny was stepping down from the porch when Jordan stopped in his doorway and called out to him. “Manny!”
He stopped on the last step, turning back to Jordan. “I need to remind you of something…I need you to do me a favor…and remember this.”
“Sure…what?”
“Remember what I tell you in the barn? Everything we do…we do to protect - you….and yours. An’ - well, thangs ain’t always what they seem; sometime, what we think we see, ain’t what we see at all, the eyes can be deceivin’.”
Manny’s brows pinched at the mystery of his words. “What?! What does that mean? What are you saying?”
“Just what I say…you remember it. I ain’t sayin’ no more…good night.” With that he went inside and closed the door. Leaving Manny standing in a cloud of confusion, and for a second, only a second, he wondered if it had anything to do with Lena. Fear however won out, not allowing him to go any further with thoughts in that direction. His mind was filled with many things …many decisions…and plans; it was all a matter of making up his mind.
Lena lay awake after finally getting Hope to sleep, which was not easy. She looked so cute, sleeping with her knees drawn up underneath, her bottom up in the air; Lena smiled as once again she gazed lovingly at her daughter. Still very much amazed at her beauty…a girl…Hope.
“You were so right Mikey, look at her; oh if you could only see your little sister.” She spoke softly, gently pulling a fat golden curl at the baby’s nape. She always kept Hope in bed with her now…it did little good for sleeping through the nights dry…but it helped her to get through them just the same. Loneliness had a way of making a night impossibly long, as if endless. Most of hers were filled with silent tears for her son, or his father; one usually led into the other. Unable to sleep, Lena rolled out of bed cautiously, so as not to awaken her baby. She walked to the clothes hook by her bed, to put on her robe, her hand going to the other one that hung there; stroking down its length longingly. She closed her eyes imagining him standing before her in it. She smiled…by now, she would be wrapped in his arms, the embrace strong and possessive…she could just imagine his lips at her throat…kissing. Lena’s eyes popped open as she shook herself, feeling her body respond to such fantasies. Turning away she slipped her arms into her own robe; her mind flashing back to a time when they were happy.
Many nights were spent in her cabin after they made love, unable to sleep, they’d slip on their robes and skip across the lawn in the middle of the night. Giggling and laughing; hoping that no one saw them as they raced into the kitchen to raid the larder. With a bottle of wine, bread and cheese in hand, they’d run back, with Manny dragging her laughing behind. His deep chuckles shushing her all the way, once back in, they’d sit up in their robes playing cards - with Manny trying to teach her how. Even with her lack of knowledge for the game, she knew when he was cheating her, laughing uncontrollably at his crazy explanations for the way he was then playing.
Rules of the game ever changing…those nights were wonderful. Sometimes Mike would have fallen asleep at Kayleen’s cabin…or he was with Leon or Johnnypoe. The nights were spent with them into mischief, setting traps at various cabins for those whom they targeted to wake and fall into.
Like two mischievous children up past their bedtime…they laughed, loved, romped and played the night away.
Smiling she stepped out onto her porch. She stood in her usual spot against the post by the steps with one arm wrapped around it; one hand in her pocket. She looked out over the yard at the big house, and then up at the beautiful star sprinkled sky and half moon.
With her head leaning against the post, she drew in a deep breath; eyes closed savoring the delightful fragrance…she smelled citrus. She felt a little tug at the bottom of her robe; and looked down smiling to see a young cat there playing with the end of it. She chuckled low, using her toe to tap at its nose, then snatching her foot away as it tried to catch it with both paws to nip her. She giggled from the ticklish sensation his paw inflicted on her sensitive foot.
Suddenly its ears snapped around in attention as it looked away from her, then jumped and ran under the porch. Lena leaned forward a little hanging onto the post with one hand to see where he went. “Here kitty kitty kitty…where’d you go? Here kitty kitty kitty?” Sighing she straightened up, wondering what had frightened it away, when she looked straight ahead and saw what. She froze, swallowing convulsively.
Not thirteen feet away stood Manny. He was as still as she. A chill ran down her spine that made her tremble. Her heart took off immediately, racing with such intensity she had to draw in deep breaths…able to hear the thump thump - thump thump - in her ears.
By the stars above and then half moon glowing near, their eyes found each other and locked. Lena wanted to look away, needed to look away, but that invisible beam that entrapped them, would not allow her to. Her eyes could not stop their taking in as much of him as they could and despite that, ger stomach churned with fear, she could actually feel the blood pumping rapidly through her veins.
‘God help me…help me.’ She prayed desperately. Standing as he was, there was no denying that he stood as magnificent as any in his masculinity, such a powerful man…making her weak with longing. She had to fight this, she knew that she did, his child, Hope, lay right behind the door and she could not let him near, she had to do something, but what? She couldn’t bring herself to move, he had an
effortless hold on her, one she could not resist.
As if drawn by a powerful magnet, Manny took the steps that brought him closer to her. The memory of her was nothing compared to what stood before him now. Her hair was parted at one side to fall thick and beautiful to the one shoulder, showing large waves from being braided, and then, unbraided to hang with the ends reaching as if in an attempt to caress her breast.
His eyes slowly flowed back to her eyes; bright, wide - boldly gold…beautiful. Her body was slender, firm in places he knew…as well soft in others - her hips the perfect round for his size hands. Visions of his hands on those hips as he kissed her, rushed through his mind. Visions of her creamy caramel shoulder bared to his touch, her skin glistening beautifully when covered in sweat. His – she had been his, he had been the first to know her – had loved her more times than he could count. Manny swallowed feeling the moisture grow in his mouth, standing right below her, his eyes lowered again to her breasts – he knew what they looked like, hidden as they were, he knew the size of them, how they fit in his palm, their shape… her nipples and the taste of them.
A frightened whimper brought his eyes back up.
‘Breath Manny…breath. She betrayed you! Leave her be, don’t…don’t look at her lips, or that tongue wetting them from her fear.’ Manny swallowed as his mouth watered even more, he was dying to taste her again. Just once more…‘No! - you do…you’re doomed! It’s over! She’ll make a sniveling beggar out of you! Don’t – give - in!’ The smell of her made his head spin, clean, fresh of wild flowers - he drew her scent in deep down within him…wishing he could hold it there. His hands clenched by his side for control.
Lena stood breathing hard - she wanted him to touch her. Just once more she wanted to know and be reminded of his touch. She wanted to feel the large hardness of his body close to hers. She wanted the rough toughness of him possessing her, just – one more time – just once more – even if it hurt. At the same time knowing she was jeopardizing her daughter’s safety. Just the hungry look in his eyes was enough to send her soul up in flames. She shivered suddenly…wanting his hands on her so badly she was on the verge of begging. ‘Are you crazy! Have you lost your mind! Get away from him! Say something! Break the spell! Break it!’
“Please…leave me be…leave me be.” She started, her voice straining with the effort. Though softly spoken, it startled Manny, breaking the trance he found himself in. Angry, he looked up at her.
“Leave you be?! I see, no inquiry’s of our son, hm!?” He asked gruff and low.
“What is there for me to know, other than…you are here…and he is not. I have lost my son-…”
“Our son damn it! Our - son!”
“He is gone.” She replied simply. “And he’s not coming back.” She added.
“And you do not even care enough to ask about our search?! Did you ever care Lena? Did you ever?!”
Her look was one of torture as she blinked back gathering tears. “How can you say that to me! How can you! It is you who brought someone between us! Not I! Not I – you did that!”
“And the child’s father?!” He demanded.
“What of him?”
“Does he not stand between us?”
“I will not stand here, and argue over things that cannot change. What has happened, has happened. Despite what you say, what you accuse me of, I have always cared, I did, I-…”
He couldn’t stand to hear her reasoning, “You did! Ha! You don’t have to lie to me anymore. No need to play these games! I know you don’t love me…I don’t think you ever did – or else you would not been able to turn to another so quickly! But tell me this…why? Why’d you cling to me so long? Was it for what I could give you? It’s hard for a “Princess” to go from a life of privilege - to the status of a slave!” He argued – his intent was to hurt. “Is that why? All you need do, to stay in the living you were accustomed to, was lay on your back for the master.” He accused, feeling angry and mean.
Lena sucked in from his attack. “How can you say that to me!?” Lena shook her head, it was happening, he was trying to lead her into a fight, a fight that could possibly land her in his arms at the end, with him, it always had. Even to argue with him, was dangerous, she had to stop it. “Manny please, don’t do this to me, not now, just leave me be…I beg you.” She pleaded softly.
“Don’t do this to you? Leave you be?! Not now!? Well what about me - what you’ve done to me? Hm!? Or maybe, you meant to do it! That it? A little revenge maybe?! You - Princess Ceś alena, a sole rebel for all the enslaved women before you, and the ones that will follow - on their behalf, you carry out the revenge! Oh what a worthy one you are for the call! Hale Princess Ceś alena – rebel fighter against all the white man’s cruel taking of Negro women everywhere! That it?”
“My God, what has happened to you? Have you gone mad? Manny, don’t be ridiculous.” Lena gasped unable to believe the way he was acting with her.
“I’m being ridiculous? I see…so that wasn’t it then hmm? Maybe I thrilled you then, that it? That sound closer to it? You get a thrill Lena? Rutting with the master? I turn you on? Did it fire your blood? Was it good?” He was now climbing the steps, as if slowly stalking her. “Tell me…does he take care of you, the way I did? Does his touch do it for you – the way mine did?”
“How dare you…you make me sound…cheap!” She swallowed, her hand at her midriff growing fearful of him and his approach. He ignored the look on her face, the wide eyes, her trembling, the hurt.
“Naw…I like the revenge theory better. You were always a fighter. You couldn’t beat me physically - so you beat me the other way. All along, you meant to make me fall in love with you-…”
“Manny this is insane! You’re not making any sen-…”
“Shut up damn it!! It’s my turn now!” He barked and continued, “You know, I can see it all now…” He was on the porch backing her towards the porch rail. “…you with the master’s heart in your hands, squeezing it - crushing it for the very last drop of blood-…”
“Manny please… stop this – I don’t want to argue with you.” She whimpered frightened. He ignored her words, “Do you know what you’ve done to me? Do you know … how you’ve taken my soul… and ripped it to shreds! And oh how ripe I was for the picking…fool that I am.”
“That’s not true! Not any of it…you know it’s not! How can you say these things when you know it’s not true!” She tried reasoning with him, but he refused to hear her, so caught up in the crazy overwhelming pain and passion she evoked just by looking at him. “Well congratulate yourself…it worked…” He now stood before her, looming large and menacing, “…I fell…I fell like a mighty oak. Me, Manny - your foolish white master. On the verge of groveling at your feet! You like the thought of that Lena? How does it feel to know you've succeeded!?” He grabbed her wrist in a grip so tight, it was meant to punish. “Such a little hand, used to reach within me…and rip my heart…from my chest…such a little hand…to hold such power!!” He squeezed cutting off her circulation.
“OWWW!!” She cried trying to twist her wrist from his powerful grip, fighting not to look up into his tortured eyes. “Manny please…you’re hurting me! Ow - Manny please, God you’re going to break my wrist!” She pulled again and he released it to capture her upper arms – a grip so strong she would bruise. Manny had no realization of the tears falling from his eyes for the anger he felt, and a need to make her look at him. To see what she had done to him; he forced words past the huge tightness in his chest that threatened to push a sob up. “You want me to beg you…but I won’t…I won’t beg you…” He ground out through clenched teeth, squeezing her with the effort he exerted to control his need. Pressing her shoulders in harshly as she whimpered against the pain, she tried to struggle from his grip…but his hold was like a band of steel, and all she could do was writhe within. Her hands pushed at his chest, but her strength against his was like that of a new born babe, she was caught with no way out, until he mig
ht decide to let her out. “Don’t you see what you’re doing…” He shook her. “…I will not plead … like some lowly beggar-…”
“Manny … you’re hurting me…please, you’re hurting me.”
“Hurting you!” He sneered, “Is it even possible…with what heart have you to experience hurt…pain? Hmmm… nothing but stone lies beneath your breast!”
She kept her face averted, refusing to look up at him as her arms throbbed, the more she fought looking at him, the angrier he became, twisting her back and forth, “Look at me damn you!!” He shook her roughly, so hard her teeth clacked in her mouth, she was afraid he’d snap her neck. Scared, Lena began crying, as he lifted her higher against the railing. “I loved you! Do you hear!? I said look at me!” He bit out through pressed teeth. “Me, Maynard - damned to hell - Webster! I loved you – with every – source of my – being – I loved you! I would’ve given you anything within my power! Anything! Damn it you will look at me or I will crush you in my hands!”
“Ohhh…Manny - Manny - please…I can’t-…” Lena shook her head, sobbing, her arms numb as they hung weak and useless.
“I would have died for you, killed to protect you! But not anymore! You can’t hurt me now! Because I don’t love you anymore! I despise you! You’re nothing to me now…but a blasted thorn in my side!”
Lena collapsed completely against him, drained from struggling… she really didn’t care what he did to her. She was too tired, afraid…and sorry.
Just like that, just as quickly, all drained from him at the touch her her head against his chest…the feel of her against his body…he let go to wrap his arms around her, crushing her against him with his mouth fighting not to kiss her head. She sobbed against him…loving him so much…hurting too much for words. Manny filled his lungs with her scent, her soft body and breast pressed against his.
Princess Ces'alena (Webster Fields) Page 36
