Game of Wit and Chance_Beginnings

by R. Scott Tyler

  "Yes, it is better, actually, and it's great experience."

  "Sure, I bet, build that resume." He smiled and she returned only the vaguest resemblance of her usual smile. "What's up, Betts? What's wrong?" He was starting to panic a little, because he could feel there was definitely something wrong. Did she know something about his father, Gilberto? Was Katie sick? Did Boris finally get killed? …he had to admit that one would throw him a bit less than the other two.

  "No Steven, there’s nothing wrong. Things are mostly the same as they’ve always been."

  "Well what is it then, Betts? What does mostly mean? This is really not like you, you're scaring me."

  "How long have we been ‘together’, Steven?" She actually did the 'air quotes' thing to him. He’d told her many times he hated it.

  "I don't know, Betts. Maybe two years?" Two years, one month, three weeks and four days, actually. He was very well aware. What else did he have to do with his time off when he was on a ship?

  "Yeah, at least two years. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Well now it's happened and you can blame me and charge off."

  "What's happened, Betts? Is there someone else? Is that what it is?" He was really confused. He wasn't the jealous type, but Bettina never seemed like the type that was interested in a regular guy for just regular stuff, either.

  "There isn't someone else, Steve. There never has been someone else. I've wished there could be often enough, but the truth is, I've got what I want, I guess."

  "Well, what then? Are you moving? Did you get another job? Are you leaving the Philippines?"

  "God, Steven, sometimes you can be so dense. Yes I got another job. I'm in it right now. I got it for the experience. They often put pregnant nurses into the maternity ward for experience."

  Okay, that hit him in the gut. It took the air right out of him. Beads of sweat popped out on his forehead, the room started to spin around his head and he backed up to the wall because they were still standing in the hall having this conversation.

  As he slid down the wall Steven thought, "She's pregnant with my child. I'll be a dad. I have no idea how to be a dad. God I wanna be a dad!"

  Out loud he said, "You're pregnant? Are you sure?"

  "Of course I'm sure, you ninny. I work in a hospital. I'm working in a maternity ward right now. You think we don't know how to figure out if a person is pregnant or not?"

  He started laughing and couldn’t quit until after a couple of minutes. "Isn't there someplace more private, where the doors don’t leak cigarette smoke, where we can finish this conversation?"

  "Isn't it already finished? You don't want to be a dad. You don't want a kid. And I'm not going to force anything on you. You're free to go. Just leave, I release you!"

  He giggled just a little bit again, but quit when she smacked him in the arm…pretty hard. "Come on, let's get out of the hall for a few minutes, okay? Who said I didn't want to be a dad, anyway?"

  This brought a confounded look to Bettina's face and he could see she gave in. She pointed to the staff lounge on the opposite end of the hall. There were only a couple other people in there, so they went in and continued the conversation they’d started in the hall.

  "So tell me truthfully, Steven, do you want to be a dad?" Bettina asked him.

  The two people that were in there immediately hushed and stared fixedly at the television.

  "Honestly, I've never had a goal to be a father, Betts, you know that, but when you said you were pregnant a rush so strong came over me. It almost knocked me off my feet. You of all people should know how hard that is to do," Steven replied.

  “I do know, Steven, but I don’t know if that is enough. So what does it mean?" Bettina asked.

  "I'm not sure exactly what it means, but I can tell you I will stay the course with you. It doesn't change that one bit. Having a child with you will be beautiful. You'll be a great mom, I know it. I don't know what kind of dad I'll be, but I'll certainly love this kid like it ought to be loved," Steven answered.

  Bettina slid up against him and closed her eyes. "I've gotta admit I was really afraid this would send you off for good. I'm not sure how everything will turn out, but I am sure I want this baby. I was determined to have it with or without you. It'll be a lot better to have it with you."

  "How long do we have, anyway? I mean, how long do we have to plan?" Steven asked.

  "Six months…about. Mom's already started on the baby room. And I've moved into the big bedroom in the house," Bettina replied.

  "Don't you want your own house?" Steven asked.

  "Are you quitting the sea?" Bettina asked.

  "No, you know I can't," Steven answered.

  "Then I don't want my own house. We'll live with my mom when you're here and she'll take care of our child when I have to work. Since I now have the big bedroom, we'll have the big bed as well, when you're here." She smiled when she said this and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.

  Finally, that was more the Bettina he knew and loved.

  Konnor 1989

  Bettina bore down once again and the pain washed over her. It was like nothing she'd ever felt in her life. She never thought she would go through pain like this by herself. Well, by herself wasn't exactly accurate. She looked through watery eyes and saw the little crowd just on the other side of the sheet over her raised knees. Childbirth took all modesty away from a woman in one final, painful blow. She didn't care who saw down there, didn't care what they touched, she just wanted her son's head to get the hell out of her body.

  Damn Steven for getting her into this situation. Damn him again for not being here beside her while his son was trying to be born. Damn him again just for good measure.

  "AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH, FUCK!" She let out a blood curdling scream. Thank you, Jesus, his head was out. She knew it by the smiles of the faces looking at her 'private' parts.

  "One last push, Bettina!" Gilberto said, as he held her hand and smiled like the grandpa he already was and now would be again.

  "Uuuuhhhhhhhhh, ugh!" The kid was out, he had to be. Now it just felt wet down there and her new son was the one wailing. Why was it nurses felt like they should be above the pain of childbirth? She wanted to go back in time and change her answers when the doctor discussed drugs with her before the birth.

  As the doctor and nurse worked on umbilical cord, placenta and making sure everything was more or less in place, the receiving nurse wiped off her new son, wrapped him in a clean towel and handed him to her for the first bonding. He was her first, so she didn't know exactly what to expect, but the sight of him, ruddy and squalling, brought more tears to her eyes and a lump to her throat that she knew this little boy would always be able to bring back.

  "Konnor, your daddy will be so sad he missed your coming, but he will be so happy to see you."

  Marge and Konnor 1989

  It became Marge's habit, as well as the expectation of the Ramos clan, to spend every Christmas she could manage with Gilberto and her surrogate nephews and nieces. Graduations, births and deaths were must years. Whether she went the other years depended on her money situation. Konnor's birth was doubly special because Steven called her soon after he was born and asked her to be his godmother. She would not be there in person for the christening, but it was a must to make it out for his first Christmas.

  Each time she traveled to the Philippines she brought with her a few traditional decorations, gifts and eatable treats that were distinctly American. Each time she returned she took one distinctly Filipino gift home. When she visited during Christmas of 1963 she brought her own girl child, born the previous year. Of course there was a father, but there was not a husband and Marge decided to raise the child on her own, as a single mother.

  The Christmas of 1989 Marge made a special month long trip and brought an entire suitcase full of goodies special for the holiday and the new baby.

  "It's so good to see you again, Aunt Marge," Steven greeted her. Taking her bags and dragging them to the beat up van, he
continued, "It's been a long time. When your own grandchild, Karen, was born, I thought that might be the end of your trips."

  "Oh, Steven, some traditions must carry on. My daughter’s illness made her decide not to come back. It was very disappointing to me, but she is my daughter. I honored her decision until she got married. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to bring my granddaughter, but now that I have a godchild the visits simply must resume.”

  "Yes, hepatitis is a rampant disease here. I'm sorry it had to touch you, but she and Karen are both good, right?"

  "Of course they are. I wish Christine would see reason and let me at least bring Karen to see Konnor. I had hoped they might grow up as friends, now I'm not so sure. Neither Christine nor Philip is too interested in a playmate for Karen who's living in a third world country."

  Steven let the last comment fade away before saying, "Bettina and Konnor are so looking forward to seeing you. It's a little easier to tell with Bettina, but Konnor's been in a good mood for a week now. I think it's because he knows his godmom is coming to visit."

  He loaded the larger of Marge's two suitcases in the back of the van first. "You are not traveling light this year, Auntie."

  Marge just smiled as he lifted the second case in, put the carry on packages around them, shut the back and opened the side passenger door for her to get in.

  Exhausted from the trip, Marge fell asleep sitting beside Steven in the middle seat of the van by the time the driver got them outside the airport limits. She knew this was a good way to manage the frustrating traffic anyway. When they were north of Metro Manila and cruising more smoothly she woke, a tiny bit refreshed, and they started chatting about her granddaughter. "She's only eighteen months, but she's saying my name already…well, gam-gam really, but I'll take it."

  "Do you get to see her a lot, Auntie?"

  "Not as much as I'd like, Christine and Philip moved with his company to Victoria. I'm pretty sure he means to move them all to Europe and this is the first step."

  "Really? Why would he do that?"

  "Oh, it's not a bad thing, I guess. It's his job and he's good at it. I'm getting to be an old lady so I don't always understand these things anymore."

  "You know I've seen so much of the world being a sailor. I wouldn't trade it for anything… ask Bettina." He chuckled, but Marge knew it was only halfhearted.

  "I hope that if they do end up moving, they go to a country that is significantly unlike the U.S. It's so good for kids to see how other people live. People get so isolated in their understanding."

  "Yes, I hope I can show Konnor the world when he grows up as well."

  They spent the rest of the trip visiting about changes in each other's lives since Marge was last there. Near the end of the trip Marge brought up Julia’s death.

  "Steven, how is Gil doing this year?"

  "Dad has trouble with holidays you know. He did even before Julia was taken from him. Now he's lost Mom and Julia both, it’s bound to make for tough holidays. I think this year will be better with both Konnor and you to lift his spirit."

  "I'm counting on it, Steven."

  They pulled up to the Ramos restaurant shortly after the lunch crowd had thinned out. Gilberto closed the restaurant at 1:00 p.m. owing to her arrival. There would be a big meal to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas season.

  There was no pretending that they weren't waiting for her arrival. Everyone rushed the car as they pulled to a stop. Gilberto opened Marge's door and took her in a bear hug, swinging her legs around and clearing a circle of people. When he put her down, they were both teary eyed. Well, Gilberto was crying, Marge was a bit more stoic, but her eyes were definitely damp.

  "Margie, it's so good to see you again. The kids have missed you so!"

  "Well, let them come in for a hug then, you old man." She hugged Katie, Katie’s husband Orlan, and their three kids. Each one of the kids gave her a handful of wild flowers they'd picked for the occasion. Larry was Katie's oldest. "My God, Larry, are you taller than your Auntie Marge now?!"

  Standing just behind them she saw Bettina with a wriggling bundle. When she stepped up to her, Bettina gave her a peck on the cheek. "Hello, Godmother Margie. Meet your godson, Konnor." Bettina handed the bundle to her and the stoic friend, mother, grandmother and Godmother burst into tears.

  "I'm sorry, that is so very unlike me!" She laughed and wiped away her tears. "Konnor, your godmom is just so happy to see you! I hope you grow up to be the spitting image of your fabulous mom and dad, your loving granddad and your beautiful grandmom." Hugging the little bundle to her, Marge looked around. "Now where is that Boris?"

  "As usual, we're not sure where he is," answered Gilberto.

  #

  After Marge's first half dozen visits, Gilberto started to threaten to add on to the Ramos house with a room just to store Christmas decorations. Marge toned it down this year and only brought ornaments for each person, personalized with their name and the current year. She had a few extra as well, just in case she forgot anyone, or met new important people. She was pretty sure that Larry would not have a girlfriend yet, since he was only fifteen, but just in case, she was covered.

  However, Marge brought presents for her godson in abundance. She was playing with one over his head right now. It was a mobile that would go above his crib or chair. A durable, colorful planetary mobile. All the Ramos kids seemed to have wanderlust like their mom. Marge thought maybe Konnor would want to see the planets since he would undoubtedly see plenty of ocean and islands where he was. "Katie, tell me what's going on with Boris these days. He's the one I haven't heard from in a long time."

  "No one really has, Auntie. Julia's death hit papa the hardest, but Boris has never been the same since, either. He has a world of his own and it seldom intersects with our world anymore."

  "That boy was always troubled, Katie, he needed something to hold on to. He never married, either, did he?"

  "Nope. Apparently the Ramos boys aren't the marrying kind." She was making a jab at Steven because he'd never married Bettina, even though they'd been partners for years.

  "Being a loyal husband and good father isn't always guaranteed by marriage, my dear."

  "Oh Auntie, we all know you would defend Steven if he made a deal with the devil himself." It was another joke, but as with most things, the words were dipped in truth.

  Family Trip 1995

  Steven purchased a used motorcycle with a sidecar a few years after Konnor’s birth and used it constantly when he was home. This time, Bettina was taking care of one of Konnor’s friends, but that didn’t slow down their family adventure. Konnor loved riding in the sidecar. On this trip he shared it with his friend and their backpacks, while Steven shared the motorbike with Bettina. The day was sunny and blue, but the waves were crashing onto the beach where they stopped. Steven asked Bettina if she would like him to take Konnor and his friend someplace else for a while, so she could relax and enjoy the beach.

  When Steven asked Konnor and his friend what they wanted to do, they both exploded at the same time, "We want to go exploring!"

  "Okay, I was thinking ice cream, but it looks like I'm outnumbered."

  The two boys looked at each other and Konnor, looking very serious, replied, "Well Papa, we can go exploring and THEN go get ice cream, right?"

  Chuckling, he herded them into the sidecar and Steven and the two boys headed farther up the road, away from the city. He remembered being up here with his father and siblings many years ago and decided to let memories carry him. Maybe he would find the place they visited.

  The remembered trip was from when Gilberto was traveling, relieving his grief by celebrating Sophia's wanderlust. The trips always started out full of fun and promise and ended after a couple of nights of Gilberto getting very drunk and depressed. However, this trip lasted longer than most and the boys had fun wandering, while Julia and Katie hung out with their dad, cooing along as he sang and played his guitar.

  The five of them fou
nd a beautiful, isolated inlet that was almost cut off from the sea by dazzlingly sharp rocks and underwater reefs. The beach was clean, but wasn't something that locals went to because of how hard it was to maneuver in and out of the bay. It wasn't popular with tourists because the locals didn't care much about it. It was perfect for Gilberto and his kids because they were exploring first and foremost. They seldom listened to local opinion.

  Steven turned down the third densely overgrown path to nowhere and instantly knew it led to the lagoon he recalled. It was exactly as he remembered, ringed with rocks, with the water color variations indicating shallow reefs. They stopped on the sand with just enough sun left that he could catch a snooze before having to head back. "Okay boys, go have fun and explore. Don't go far and if you go into the water, wake me up first."

  Konnor's friend, Criston, ran off in the direction they had been traveling because there was a vague trail continuing. They both had big sticks they were using as weapons and fought their way to a decrepit old building. It was obviously abandoned and had been for years, clearly the perfect opportunity for exploration.

  "Come on, Konnor, let's go inside!" Criston wasn’t much for swimming. He was more of a land lubber, and outside of the sea, he was not intimidated by anything.

  "No, it will fall in on us." Konnor's caution was met with deaf ears as Criston was already through the opening that used to hold a door. He could hear Criston inside yelling and hitting everything that didn't move. Floor, walls, door and window openings…they all were challenged for the right of ownership and finally, Konnor decided he needed to go inside before there wasn't anything left to whack. Charging in with his stick over his head, he yelled, "Hu, Hu, Hu!" and took aim at the empty window pane opposite the door. Subduing it quickly, he turned to find his friend squatting in the corner and poking at a mound.

  Sidling up to Criston, Konnor squatted beside him and poked in the same general area. Instead of soft dirt, as the rest of the floor had decayed to, it was a hard little mound. Never delicate, Criston stood up, taking his stick in both hands, and hit the mound hard. It seemed to break apart. Stepping back and poking at the splintered mound with the tip of their sticks again the boys broke it up enough to be confident that whatever was in there wasn't going to bite them. Konnor was the first one to reach into the dirt and pull out a chunk of what they had broken up.