He might argue with that, especially since he was looking forward to sampling her lips soon. He intended to test for himself her theory of whether the chocolate taste lingered.
After settling the bottle back in its bucket, he edged closer to her on the blanket where they lay, ostensibly gazing up at the stars.
“See that one over there?” He pointed up at the sparkling night sky. “That’s Venus. And that one, that’s Mercury.”
“Really? Mercury? But it’s so tiny. I’d expect one of the bigger planets to be easier to see than that little thing.”
If she wanted a bigger planet, he could accommodate. Astronomy had been one of his favorite hobbies as a kid.
“Bigger. Okay then, let’s see…” He scanned the sky to get his bearing, leaning a fraction closer to her as he looked. “It should be… yeah. Look over there, to the south. You see that bright one over there? That’s Saturn.”
She shifted her weight to her right elbow as she looked in the direction he pointed, bringing her cheek close to his lips. He resisted the temptation to touch, breathing her in instead. Her hair, so soft against his chin, smelled of fresh, green, growing things.
“It’s so amazingly beautiful out here,” she said quietly. “I’d forgotten how brilliant the sky is at night this far from the city lights.”
“Beautiful beyond words,” he murmured in response, noting her shiver as his breath ruffled her curls. “Just one more reason to avoid the city.”
“Oh, I don’t know about…” Her words trailed off as she turned, as if ready to debate the issue until her lips brushed against his.
He hadn’t the strength to resist the temptation of her lips a second time. Seeking to satisfy the desire curling low in his stomach, he indulged himself in a kiss she willingly returned. Though it was as wonderful as he remembered, there was no satisfaction of the need he felt. If anything, her kiss, her touch, only strengthened his desire for her.
Planets forgotten, his tongue explored the contours of her lips until they parted, inviting him inside to deepen the kiss. It was as if nothing in the world could satisfy the fire stoked deep inside him, except more of Allie. Nothing less than all of her.
After blocking all his feelings for so long, it was as if the dam had broken and he was being flooded by them all at once.
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
“What?” she murmured, her eyes opening slowly, blinking, like a woman waking from some erotic dream.
He’d done that. He was responsible for that look on her face. Him. His kiss. He suddenly understood why the peacock strutted. He felt a little like strutting himself.
If a kiss could make him feel like this, what would he want after they’d done what he expected was getting ready to happen between them? It felt as if the relationship he’d been running from all these years had finally caught up with him.
And, considering the way he felt, holding this woman in his arms, he was finding it difficult to remember exactly why he’d avoided a relationship for so long.
Maybe it was because he’d been waiting for Allie to come along.
A breeze wafted past, blowing a golden strand of hair across her face, catching on her eyelash. He drew his finger across her forehead, brushing away the unruly curl to tuck it behind her ear.
“How is it possible for me to have known you my whole life and yet never have known you at all?”
Allie’s teeth scraped over her bottom lip and her eyes darted away from his for an instant. “You know me. I’m the same person I’ve always been.”
“No,” he said, tracing that same kiss-swollen lip with the pad of his thumb. “I feel like an explorer, venturing into undiscovered territory for the first time. I want to know all of you. Everything about you. I don’t want any secrets between us, Allie.”
She covered his hand with hers, stopping his caress. “Is it really so important to you, what’s happened in the past?”
It could be. For him, at least. He needed to banish his demons if he was going to have any chance at happiness with Allie.
“The things we’ve done, the choices we’ve made—they’re what’s made us who we are.”
“I don’t know if I totally accept—” she began, but he brushed his thumb over her lips to stop her mid-sentence.
“You asked me once what had happened to end my relationship with Shayla. I didn’t answer you then.”
He had, in fact, gotten up from his chair and disappeared to put out a fire, deserting her. Maybe not the best moment to remind her of that.
“You don’t have to tell me about it. It doesn’t matter to me.”
But it did matter. It mattered to him. In spite of everyone who’d told him over the past five years to let it go and move on, what had happened between him and Shayla had wound itself around the core of his psyche, carving an open, cancerous sore. Until he bared that malignant growth, until he ripped it out by its roots, he wouldn’t be able to move on. And right now, holding Allie, he wanted to move on more than he could ever have imagined.
“Shayla and I never stood a chance. Our whole relationship was built on dishonesty. We weren’t even looking to travel the same road in life. She never loved me, she simply wanted a ring on her finger. Her goal was money and somebody to take care of her.”
“I’m sorry she was dishonest with you.”
How easy it would be on his ego to leave it there. But leaving Allie with that impression wouldn’t cure what ailed him.
“It wasn’t only her dishonesty. It was mine, too. I wanted the kind of relationship I saw at home. What my parents and my grandparents had. I wanted it so badly that I ignored our reality and convinced myself that no matter how rocky things were between us, no matter how different our goals in life, things would get better. I thought that once I finished college and came home to Chance, we would change somehow, she would change somehow, and everything would be perfect.”
“But that didn’t happen.”
Logan shook his head, picking through his most painful memories to offer an explanation.
“She didn’t want to wait.”
Shayla had lied to him. Deceived him by telling him she was pregnant. And, because the stakes had been so much higher than at any other point in their relationship, he’d confronted her for the first time ever. He’d confronted her lie and her cheating and then he’d confronted the truth of their relationship for the first time ever, and it had ripped the ground from under his feet.
“She left you?”
“No. That would have been much easier to accept. She did much worse. She deceived me. Lied to me. In the end, I was nothing more than an easily interchangeable tool she used in an attempt to get to what she really wanted.”
Just as he’d been using her to get to what he really wanted, only he couldn’t yet bring himself to give voice to that admission. Saying those words would lift the guilt from Shayla’s shoulders and place it squarely on his own.
Where, in truth, it had belonged all this time.
“So, it was the lie that ended things for you?”
“Not the actual lie, no, but the deception intended by the lie. It was her letting me think she cared about me, when I wasn’t at all what she wanted. It was the using, the deception, that I couldn’t forgive.”
Shayla’s sin was topped only by his own. She might have told the lies, but he’d allowed himself to believe them because he’d wanted to believe.
This time, he wanted everything to be different.
“I feel like we’re opening the door to something special between us, Allie. But I need you to know that I have a history that makes commitment to a relationship difficult for me. I needed you to know that history. To understand. So that if—when—I get weird about the whole thing, about us, you’ll know it’s not you. And maybe, if I’m lucky, you’ll be patient and not give up on me while I work through it.”
He leaned into her, covering her mouth with his, tasting her lips with the tip of his tongue. He hadn’t meant
to deprive her of her opportunity to respond, but with the moonlight sparkling in her eyes, it felt like the right moment.
And, as rarely as moments like these came along, who was he to quibble? Especially not when she returned his kiss with equal intensity.
* * *
Allie’s heart lodged somewhere near the base of her throat, beating as wildly as if she’d run a hundred-yard dash with no warm-up.
After what Logan had just confided to her, there was no way she could tell him about her dating his brother for no other reason than to try to get close to him. He would think she was no different from Shayla.
Maybe she wasn’t. She didn’t know anymore.
What she did know was that she was in love with Logan O’Connor. She had been for as long as she could remember and nothing — not her leaving Chance, not her proof of the infidelity of all men, not even her own personal experiences—had changed that. He was all she wanted and here he was, practically admitting that he wanted her, too.
There was no way she intended to mess up a chance like this. She would do anything, say anything, be anything to be the woman Logan wanted.
“I’ll wait for you forever, if that’s what you want,” she said when he lifted his lips from hers.
“I’m not asking you to wait forever,” he whispered before dipping his head for another brief kiss. “In fact, right now, waiting for any amount of time sounds like the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”
To show him that she couldn’t agree more, Allie rolled to her back, urging him to follow.
Logan didn’t require much urging. He hovered above her, his dark eyes alive with emotion. She lifted a hand and threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck, pulling his lips to hers.
He kissed her softly, his lips barely brushing over hers before they moved to her cheek, her chin, the sensitive skin at the base of her throat. His warm, moist breath wafted across her chest, leaving a ripple of cold bumps in its wake.
He lifted his head and smiled. “Have I told you how very much I like this shirt you’re wearing? I think it’s possibly my favorite out of all the things I’ve ever seen you wear.”
Her mind floundered, at a loss to understand what he could possibly like about this plain, featureless shirt. Then the first button slid out of the embroidered hole which held it.
“I see,” she breathed, understanding dawning.
A second button slipped free. Followed by a third. And a fourth. She lay motionless, barely able to breathe as the soft cotton slid away to expose her skin to the night air.
“Another clothing choice I like,” he murmured and, with a touch, the clasp on the front of her bra popped open.
His warm hand on her cooled skin was a sensory delight. When his mouth replaced his hand, it turned into sensory nirvana. Beyond her ability to control, her body arched into him, seeking the pleasure of his tongue circling her breast.
She slipped her hands under his T-shirt, savoring the passage across the solid planes of his chest and up to his strong shoulders.
His fingers slipped beneath the waistband of her jeans, and after what seemed like an eternity, the soft denim began to slide over her hips and down her legs. She lay there, bare save for a small scrap of lace, as he pulled away from her hands to sit up, his admiring stare saying what he didn’t speak aloud.
When he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to one side, her breath caught in her throat. When he popped open the button on his jeans and lowered the zipper, she thought her heart might burst right out of her chest. She’d dreamed of this moment so many times, for so many years, and now, at last, it was actually happening.
“I can hardly believe this moment is real,” she whispered as he lowered his body back over hers. “That I’m really doing this.”
“That we’re doing this,” he corrected, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face before his hands trailed down her throat to begin a slow, sensual journey along the contours of her body. “The two of us. Together.”
A shiver of anticipation rippled through her as his knee gently spread her legs and he fit himself over her. His hands, large and warm, explored her eager body as his lips closed over hers again.
This was it. Nothing could stop them now. They were in the homestretch. They were going to—
Oh no! Panic and disappointment warred in her chest before she managed to pull away to voice her distress. “We can’t do this.”
“What?” His voice had a faraway edge to it, matching the dreamy expression in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m not on any… I’m not prepared for…” She fumbled for the words she wanted, her face burning with embarrassment even as her body burned with frustration. “No protection,” she finished lamely.
“No worries.” Logan chuckled, rolling away for an instant to reach for the jeans he’d tossed next to their blanket. “Got it covered,” he said confidently, twirling a small foil packet in his fingers.
How perfect was this man of her dreams? Handsome, strong, a great cook, and well prepared. Absolutely perfect.
Now, truly, nothing stood in their way.
Nothing except the jangling noise coming from that same pair of jeans he’d so recently discarded.
“Oh, not now,” Logan groaned, his body tensing over hers.
“Ignore it,” she breathed, the sensations he’d created with his hands still vibrating through her body.
“Can’t ignore that phone, love. It’s the station house. Tanner wouldn’t call if it weren’t an emergency.” He rolled away, snatching up the phone from his jeans. “O’Connor here.”
Allie knew he was right. Knew he had no other choice. But that knowledge did nothing to lessen the disappointment and frustration coursing through her body.
“I hate to end our evening like this, but I have to go, babe.” Logan pulled his shirt on over his head, muffling his words for a second. “Structure fire out at the Webster place. You okay?”
He leaned over her, a hand outstretched to help her up.
“I’m good.” She smiled up at him, forcing her lips to curve even though she didn’t feel the least bit happy. The Official Date Curse had struck again. “Hazard of dating a firefighter, I guess, right?”
“You hold my place, okay? We’ll pick up where we left off next time.” Logan grinned, grabbing the blanket they’d laid on to wrap it around her shoulders even as he kissed her cheek. “I gotta go now. I’m so sorry.”
“I understand. Should I wait here?”
“Probably not. Sounds like this could take all night. Outbuildings are already engulfed. They’re just trying to save the barn and house now. You okay with locking up for me?”
Allie nodded, not trusting her voice as he turned his back and broke into a run.
She tightened the blanket around her and gathered her clothes, feeling more sorry for herself by the minute. In fact, the only thing in the world she could imagine that would be worse than being her right now would be being the Webster family and watching that fire eat everything you owned.
“Big baby,” she grumbled, heading into the house to get dressed. Here she was feeling sorry for herself when she should be counting her lucky stars. Her wonderful evening might have been interrupted at a most inopportune time, but at least she knew now that it wasn’t simply lust driving Logan’s actions. He thought they had a chance together.
She double-checked that everything in the kitchen was turned off and the house was secured before heading to her car. Good thing she’d driven herself out here tonight.
Nothing happened the first time she turned the key in the ignition but, after counting to twenty, she tried again and her car started up as if nothing were wrong.
Yep, she was definitely living under a lucky star lately. Her dream man had been dropped in her lap, she loved her work, her mom seemed to be getting better and even her car was mostly working.
Coming back to Chance just might be the smartest thing she’d ever done.
CHAPTE
R NINETEEN
Cheery summer sunlight filled the room when Allie awoke, but a foreboding sense that all was not right nagged at the back of her mind like some half-forgotten memory. A sound, maybe? A sound that might have awakened her?
She sat up in bed, closing her eyes and concentrating to listen. There it was again! Something in the distance. A wail? Her mother!
“Oh my God!” she whimpered as she hit the floor at a run. “Mom? Where are you?”
This was the exact thing she was supposed to be here to prevent.
Allie ran through the house, calling for her mother as she checked each room on her way to the back door. Outside, on the deck, heart pounding, she tried once more.
“Mom? Are you out here? Mom!” She paused, breathless, listening for any sound in response.
Birds, the wind and, somewhere in the distance, a dog. Then, finally, the one sound she’d sought.
“Allie? I’m out here, honey!”
Allie spotted her at last, way out in the field, headed away from seemingly anything. No wonder she hadn’t spotted her earlier. Susie appeared to be sitting in the weeds!
“I’m coming!”
Allie jumped down off the deck, running as quickly as her bare feet would allow through the wild growth in the far field. By the time she reached her mother’s side, Susie had rolled to her stomach and was struggling to get up on her hands and knees.
“What’s wrong? What are you doing out here, Mom?”
They’d made so much progress in the past months. Allie had begun to believe her mother’s illness was improving.
“It’s Grainger,” her mom answered. “He took off this direction and wouldn’t come back when I called. Naturally, I came after him, but then I stepped in that damn prairie dog hole over there and twisted my ankle. Put me right on my butt.”
“You’re hurt, then.”
Allie dropped to the ground by her mother’s feet, examining the swollen ankle. She hated that her exclamation had come out sounding so relieved, but the idea that her mom was on the ground because she’d hurt herself was so much easier to deal with than that she’d collapsed from exhaustion as she’d been doing several months back.
TAKE A CHANCE (Chance Colorado Series) Page 16
