Masked Indulgence

by Michelle Love

  Above her the exit door crashed open. Tinsley looked up – she was hidden in shadow but she could clearly see Charlie, his face a mask of rage, descending the stairs at a pace. She ran, down, down, down, hearing him in pursuit, her chest tight, little sobs as her terror overtook her. She crashed out into the reception…people.

  God. As she collapsed with relief into the arms of a security guard, she turned, expecting Charlie to crash out behind her.

  Nothing. No-one. Ignoring the frantic questions of the security guard, she glanced around – had he come out another door? Was he waiting for her outside? Oh god…

  Eventually she calmed herself enough to tell the security guard that someone had been chasing her but she could tell he didn’t believe her. She managed to persuade him to stay with her until she caught a cab and on the drive back to the motel, she had the cab driver stop at an ATM so she could withdraw some cash. She needed to change motels, she realized, now, tonight and perhaps every night as long as she was in Seattle.

  Because she had no intention of leaving Lila at the mercy of Charlie. Her mad conspiracies didn’t seem so crazy now. If she was convinced more than ever of one thing, it was this.

  Charlie was in love with Lila and Tinsley didn’t think there was anything that could stop him from taking what he wanted from her.

  Even if it was her life.

  Lila showered at the hospital – quickly, she didn’t want to miss a moment in case Noah woke and when she got back to the room, Charlie was waiting for her.

  ‘Hey, beauty.’

  She half-smiled back at him. For the last two days, he hadn’t left her alone for a moment and as much as she appreciated the support, she wanted to be with Noah, wanted that moment of reunion when – not if, she told herself constantly – he woke up.

  ‘He’s looking better,’ Charlie said, picking up on her mood. She nodded, dumping her wash bag – hurriedly put together for her by Quilla in the hospital’s pharmacy. She combed out her wet hair, never taking her eyes from her love, so still in the bed. She felt strange, almost as if the other man in the room, the man she’d known since she was a child, was a stranger to her. An unwanted interloper. She supposed she should feel guilty but she didn’t.

  ‘Charlie, it’s good of you to come here every day but there’s no need. I’m okay. It might be days, weeks or…’ Her voice broke and Charlie moved to hug her but she stepped out of his way, smiling to ease the snub. ‘I’m sorry; I just don’t want to be touched. You understand, right?’

  ‘Of course.’

  She went to sit by Noah’s bed and took his hand. ‘I was saying, maybe you should go home, get back to finding a place to live. When Noah comes home, I’d like it to be the two of us. You get that, right?’

  Charlie nodded, smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes and she couldn’t read his expression. Hurt? Anger? ‘Lila, don’t worry. It’ll all work out for the best.’

  She didn’t really know what he meant by that but she couldn’t be bothered to figure it out. Go away, go away. ‘I wonder when Tinsley will come visit again?’

  She turned to look at Charlie then and saw, to her shock, his face crease with annoyance. ‘Charlie, what the hell is going on between the two of you?’

  Charlie sighed. ‘Baby, she’s no friend of yours believe me. When we were in New York, she was obsessed with the fact that we ever were…intimate. I wish I had never told her.’

  Lila shifted uncomfortably. ‘Charlie – that was one night, a hundred years ago. Why would you tell her?’

  He shrugged. ‘We were having the talk, you know? When we cashed in our v-cards, who with. I didn’t think she’d take it so badly.’

  ‘I don’t believe it,’ Lila retorted. ‘Tinsley isn’t the jealous type.’

  ‘You don’t know her as well as you think.’

  Lila sighed. ‘I don’t want to argue with you, Charlie; I just want to be with Noah. Alone.’

  He left the room and she felt relieved. She didn’t need to hear about Charlie and Tinsley right now. Fuck, she felt alone. Quilla had told her to call when she needed a break and she was seriously considering it. She’d been living on snacks from the machine for the last four days and her gut felt heavy and sore from junk food. She stroked Noah’s hair. ‘Will you be okay for a while, my love? I need some hot food in me, so I can look after you properly.’

  In the cafeteria, she sat alone in a corner, not wanting to speak to anyone. The vegetable soup made her feel much better, more awake and she ate some fruit, squirreling away some in her bag along with a couple of bottles of water. Before she went back up to Noah, she stepped outside to breath in some fresh air. She sat on the wall outside the hospital. It was cold but she didn’t mind that; the hospital rooms were always too warm for her. She closed her eyes, letting the fresh air swirl around her. It was nearly Christmas, she thought, and once again, her life was in turmoil. God, Noah, please fight this, please come back to me.

  Lila knew that if Noah died, she wouldn’t survive it. No way. He was her soulmate, her reason to smile. She could not imagine life without him; it was unthinkable.

  She opened her eyes and a movement caught her eye. Across the parking lot, a thicket of trees and now as she watched she saw something moving in them. Someone. Whoever it was stopped and she suddenly felt as if they were looking straight at her, watching her. Paranoia. She got up and walked quickly back into the hospital. Freaking out about nothing, she said to herself, as she jabbed the button for the elevator then changed her mind. She ran up the floor flights of stairs – four days of sitting and her muscles were about to atrophy. She felt the slight burn of her muscles as she pulled open the door to Noah’s floor and skidded to a stop. Doctors, nurses were rushing into his room, a loud alarm was sounding.

  Code Blue….Code Blue…

  Tinsley grabbed her bag and dumped it into the rental car. She had figured if she was going to be moving around a lot then it would be cheaper and easier. The motel she was at was cheap but clean and she was regretting having to leave but it was just safer. She wouldn’t put it past Charlie Sherman to come after her, shut her up. Now, more than ever, she was convinced that Charlie was at the root of everything, and she meant everything, that had happened over the last year or so.

  She knew it would sound crazy to the cops if she went to them and she couldn’t risk discussing it with Lila - Charlie was her oldest friend. Shit, she thought now as she drove, what the hell am I going to do?

  The answer came as she was unpacking at the next motel. Her cell phone buzzed and she was amazed when she saw who it was.

  ‘Harrison Carnegie?’

  Harry laughed. ‘The same. Hey Tins, how’s it hanging?’

  He sounded remarkably casual, she thought but she knew him better. ‘Harry….about Cora…’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Tins,’ Harry dropped the act immediately, ‘I should have called weeks ago. Look, on behalf of my whole family, I wanted to say…there’s no excuse for what Cora did and I for one am so, so happy that it…that you…’ He faltered and she smiled, glad of hearing a friendly voice.

  ‘Harry, it’s okay…really. That’s in the past…look, I know the D.A. wants to charge Cora but when I get back to New York, I’m going to the police and asking them to drop the charges.’

  ‘You don’t have to do that, Tinsley, she knows she did wrong.’

  Tinsley smiled down the phone. God it was good to hear his voice. ‘I want to, truly. On the condition she gets some major psychiatric help.’

  Harry gave a soft laugh. ‘I think Mom’s got you covered there. Where are you?’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘You said ‘when I get back’?’

  Tinsley hesitated for a moment. ‘Seattle. Have you heard about Noah Applebaum?’

  ‘Yeah, it’s all the news. How’s Lila?’

  ‘I wish I knew.’

  It was Harry’s turn to be confused. ‘What?’

  It all poured out of her then, the way Charlie had treated her, her suspicions.
Harry listened to her in silence and as she came to a halt, she suddenly realized how mad she must sound. ‘Harry?’

  ‘What motel are you in?’

  She told him. ‘Why?’

  ‘I’m coming to Seattle. I don’t want you there alone.’

  She honestly wanted to tell him no…but she couldn’t.

  Halston and Molly Applebaum, quickly followed by Quilla and Jakob Mallory, found Lila in the hallway outside Noah’s room. Tears were flooding down her face but she was smiling. ‘He’s awake.’

  When she’d gotten back and heard the code blue, it had been as bad as it sounded. Noah had coded and during the fight to get him back, she was kept out of the room, listening to them fighting to get him back and when they did, Noah had opened his eyes and cursed loudly.

  Lila, hearing this, had dissolved into tearful laughter and he’d heard her. ‘Lila Tierney, get your ass in here.’

  The doctors were shaking their head in disbelief but Lila didn’t pay attention, just flew into Noah’s outstretched arms.

  She kissed him with tears rolling down her cheeks, laughing. ‘Only you could make such a dramatic entrance to the land of the living.’

  When they were alone, they talked about what had happened. The doctor examined him. ‘You’ve stabilized better than a guy an inch from death a few hours ago should have, superman, but take it easy. No sexy shenanigans.’

  ‘Come on, Will,’ Noah grinned at the doctor – a friend and colleague. ‘Have you seen my fiancé?’

  Lila flushed and stuck her tongue out at him. As soon as the doctor left, Noah beckoned her over to him again and wrapped his arms around her, wincing a little.

  ‘Don’t strain yourself,’ Lila frowned at him. ‘Last thing we need is you ripping open your stitches.’

  ‘Yes, Mom.’

  ‘Oh god, I need to call your parents,’ she started to stand up but he pulled her back.

  ‘In a while. For now, I just need it to be you and me for a minute.’

  She cupped his cheek with her palm and smiled as she kissed him. ‘That’s all I ever want from now on,’ she said softly, ‘all I ever want.’

  The sight of Harry’s face made Tinsley want to break down and cry and as soon as he wrapped his arms around her, that’s exactly what she did. Harry just held her close, his lips at her temple as people looked curiously at them as they hurried past.

  He drove her rental car out to a diner he knew outside the city and they ate breakfast together, Harry gently asking her to go over everything again. He held her hand the whole time she was speaking, his thumb stroking a rhythm across her skin. Tinsley felt safe for the first time in…. ‘Months,’ she said with a half-smile. ‘I’ve been on edge ever since the - well, you know.’

  Harry nodded somberly. ‘Again, I – ‘

  ‘Don’t apologize any more,’ she said, ‘you’re here now and I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life.’

  Harry smiled. ‘When I went back to Oz, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know what we said, no strings, no commitment and I respected that. So I didn’t call, didn’t get in touch often. But I never stopped thinking about you. I did hear you were back with Charlie Sherman.’

  Tinsley met his gaze. ‘This isn’t some mad ex-girlfriend thing I’ve got going on, Harry, I swear to god it isn’t. I was relieved when he left. He seemed to change on a dime.’

  Harry put his hands up. ‘Hey, hey. I believe every word. Never liked the guy.’ He drained his coffee and signaled to the waitress for a refill, thanking her with a smile.

  ‘Tins, let’s get this out in the open. What’s your maddest, most wild theory about all this?’

  So she told him everything she suspected, in minute detail and Harry listened to it. When she was finished, his eyes were fixed on hers. ‘First thing we’re going to do is go get your stuff and you’re coming to stay with me at the Four Seasons. I’ll get extra security.’

  Tinsley didn’t protest. ‘Thank you, Harry, I mean it.’

  ‘Don’t mention it, it’s the least I can do. Then, we’re going to go see Lauren Shannon.’

  Tinsley’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Why?’

  Harry looked grim. ‘Because if your theory is right, I think she wasn’t the only one involved in the shooting of Noah Applebaum.’

  Halston put his arm around Lila’s shoulders. ‘Lila, I’m sure you’re the reason my boy fought so hard to recover.’

  Lila blushed red but Noah grinned. ‘You bet she is.’

  Hal’s smile faded. ‘Now, what are we going to do about Lauren? I assume you’re pressing charges.’

  ‘Yes, we are,’ Lila’s tone was hard. ‘I want that bitch locked up for good.’ She clenched her hands into fists and Molly hugged her.

  ‘My daughter will pay for what she has done.’ They all turned around. Lila had never met Derek Shannon before but the look of sorrow and guilt on his face said it all. Derek looked at Noah.

  ‘Noah, I’m so happy to see you alive. May I please speak to you for a moment, I promise, I won’t stay long.’

  Noah half-smiled. ‘Of course.’ He gave a sharp look at his father who was about to protest. Derek introduced himself to all of them then sat down by Noah’s bed.

  ‘Lauren will spend the rest of her life in prison. She will have to rely on the county’s charity for her defense because in my eyes, she has no defense. I came here to apologize on her behalf, and to tell you that I am no longer in contact with her. She has gone too far this time.’

  Lila couldn’t help give a cynical laugh. ‘Yep, because killing an unborn child wasn’t ‘far enough’.’ She left the room, disgusted, having heard enough. Molly and Quilla followed her out and took her down to the cafeteria. Molly shooed her into a seat while Quilla brought over a tray heaving with food. ‘Eat,’ she ordered Lila, ‘and then Jakob is going to take you to our place and you’re going to get some sleep. We’ll all sit with Noah.’

  Lila had to admit it was tempting, although she was loath to leave Noah now he was awake. She was aware, however, that she looked atrocious. Quilla and Molly chatted easily to her as she scarfed down the meal gratefully, knowing they were distracting her from what must be going on upstairs.

  Later, she kissed Noah goodbye, and left with Jakob. He drove her back to his and Quilla’s home on Bainbridge Island. ‘God, this place is beautiful,’ Lila gaped at the stunning house, all white and Zen. Jakob, who she had discovered, wasn’t nearly as stern as he looked, grinned at her.

  ‘All Quilla’s doing,’ he said proudly, ‘would you like a drink?’

  ‘Love one, something cold would be nice.’

  ‘Iced tea?’

  ‘Perfect.’ She followed him into a vast kitchen – from the homely mess of it, she guessed it was the heart of their home. Out of the French windows she saw a large garden where a tall, blonde girl was playing with two small boys. Jakob stuck his head out of the door. ‘Hey guys, we’re back.’

  ‘Daddy!’ As the two boys greeted him, he swept them up into his arms and kissed them. Lila grinned as they shrieked with joy. ‘Come and say hello to our friend Lila.’

  The two boys weren’t shy at all, climbing onto Lila’s lap and studying her closely. They were gorgeous, and she couldn’t help but hug them. The blonde girl grinned merrily at her.

  ‘Hey there, I’m Hayley, these two monster's aunt. Well, actually, technically, I’m their cousin. It’s complicated. It’s nice to see you, Quilla talks about you all the time.’

  Lila relaxed in their company, enjoying the tea and playing with the boys. God, it felt good to do something normal but she had to admit, seeing the two boys playing and enjoying the company of their father and cousin, she ached for little Matty. She had never thought she would be a mother until she’d actually gotten pregnant and now she couldn’t imagine not being one.

  Hayley showed her to the guest room as Lila began to flag and Lila sank gratefully into a dreamless sleep.

  When she woke it was dark and she saw that someone,
possibly Hayley, had put a few clothes on the end of the bed, new underwear. In the en-suite bathroom, she found toiletries and a new toothbrush laid out. She smiled; the thoughtfulness and kindness of these people was unlimited; Noah knew how to pick his friends. Her thoughts flashed to Charlie and her stomach clenched. Would they ever get back to how it had been? She hoped so, but a small part of her also considered that life without him, with these friends, with Noah, might not be such a bad thing. Maybe they had been wrapped around each other’s lives long enough.

  Showered and dressed in jeans and a sweater that fit her perfectly, she went downstairs to find Quilla was cooking. Her friend waved a wooden spoon at her in greeting. ‘Hey, how did you sleep?’

  ‘Wonderfully, thank you, and thanks for the clothes and things, it was very kind and much appreciated.’

  Quilla grinned, her lovely face lit up. ‘Noah threw me out, said I should come home and feed you. His dad and step-mom are with him but I think he was hoping for some peace to get some sleep. He did look exhausted when I left but unbelievably good.’

  Lila sat down at the huge kitchen table, watching Quilla cook an enormous pan of chili. Quilla crushed some garlic and put it into the pan with chopped onions. ‘I thought I’d make just a ton of comfort food,’ she said, ‘I’ve sent Jakob and the boys out to get some ice cream for dessert, so we can girl-talk if we want.’

  ‘The boys are adorable,’ Lila grinned, ‘and I know they’re adopted but they look so much like Jakob.’

  Quilla laughed. ‘I know. When we went to the children’s home to meet all the kids, I took one look at them and said ‘they are our children’. Jakob agreed and that was that. Well, not quite but you know what I mean.’

  Lila smiled. ‘I do. I spent my whole childhood in a home. I would have loved for some people like you and Jakob to come along.’

  ‘We could always adopted you now,’ Quilla joked and Lila liked it that she didn’t say ‘oh poor thing’. Lila had never felt that loneliness…because of Charlie, she thought and she suddenly felt bad for how she had been treating him lately.