Her eyes get that thunderous look in them, I'm sure that if she wasn’t confined to a bed, her hands would be wrapped around my throat. She stopped with that shit as soon as I was old enough to hit her back though. She leans towards me, practically sputtering.
"You are such an ungrateful little bitch. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a whore as a daughter." I roll my eyes.
"Can't you come up with anything new to spit out, you’ve been using the same insults for years, they are boring." I fake a dramatic yawn while she snarls at me.
"I went to a lovely dinner the other day, Amelia Benson, you remember her don’t you? You went to school with her son Tommy, he was a couple of years older than you of course. Such a charming young boy he was." The blood drains from my face, nobody can be that cruel. "Of course, he's another one that you had."
"What the hell is wrong with you? Your meant to be my fucking mother?"
"Aaaah Olivia, you are nothing more than a walking abortion. Now, I think you should leave, I feel uncomfortable with you so close, who knows what diseases your carrying?"
Her cruelness shouldn’t surprise me but it still does. I get up out my seat, my head feels dizzy with the ensuing memories of that night all those years ago.
"Eat shit and die, bitch." I say, just as my Dad re-enters the room.
"OLIVIA PRESTON!" He shouts, I'm too far gone to care though.
I shove past him and break out into a run. I need to get out of here, I need to get some air. The walls feel as if they are closing in on me, about to squish me. The air is being sucked out of my lungs, my heart beating out of my chest. I slump against the wall near the elevators and try to calm my panicking body down. I just need to breathe, if I breathe everything will be ok.
How can someone be that evil? How can a woman, no less, be so cruel to their own child? A child they carried within their body for nine months, that they brought into the world? She knows, yet she doesn’t care. She knows what Tommy did, she knew all those years ago and she knows now, she just doesn’t give a fuck.
I feel my heart slowing down, thank god! I take a much needed gasp of air into my lungs and lie my head in my hands. I need to get out of this hospital, I can't face my Dad like this. He'll ask questions, questions I can't and wont answer. I lift myself off the floor and press the G button on the keypad next to the doors and wait. Theres a DING! before the doors open and I jump into the enclosed space before jamming the button over and over again in a bid for it to hurry the fuck up.
I can't believe I let her get to me, I could slap myself for it. I can just imagine her now, crying to my Dad because I'm such a cruel daughter. She'll spout off some shit about me blowing up for no reason whatsoever and my Dad'll eat it all up like the sorry sap that he is. I can't think about that right now. I just need to get out of here.
I come out into the large entrance area, a bronze statue of the Civil War nurse, Clara Barton, is in front of the glass revolving doors. I take a moment to read the plaque at the base.
"I may be compelled to face danger, but never fear it, and while our soldiers can stand and fight, I can stand and feed and nurse them."
I remember studying her in school, she never had any children. How is it that someone so pure and good doesn’t have any children, yet that she-wolf upstairs does?
I walk out of the doors and realize that I came with my Dad. There's no way I'm ready to face his wrath so I just start walking. I could call Noah, he's with Pam though. I take a look at the time on my phone, another two hours until schools out so Trina's out of the question. Ada might be home though and by the time I get there Trina should be out of school soon. I'll just deal with my Dad later. Noah will probably worry, I'm completely drained through, I can't be worrying about someone else right now.
Not even a purse and some shoes are worth this shit.
***
I smile on seeing the familiar house, it's been way too long. I walk up the steps and ring the doorbell, I would usually just walk in but it doesn’t feel right anymore.
"One sec." I hear Ada's voice at the other side of the door.
The door opens and I'm faced with my second Mom, the woman whose practically adopted me. Shes fed me, clothed me, comforted me and supported me. All things my own Mother should have been doing but couldn’t find it in herself to.
"Liv, baby girl, this is a surprise. A good surprise of course, it's been way too quiet round here since you've been gone." She pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tightly.
The show of affection is just too much though and I can't help but burst out crying.
"Oh sweetie, what's wrong? Come on, let's get you some coffee, some Green Mountain makes everything better." She keeps her arm around me as she ushers me through the door into the brightly colored living room.
I'm a sobbing mess, covered in snot and tears. The dam's finally burst, its only took about two years but I can't seem to stop it. The only noises coming from me are sobbing hiccups. I'm well aware I sound like a dying animal, I'm thankful Noah isn't here to see me like this, not attractive at all.
"Oh baby girl, you come and sit down, tell me all about it. You know what I say, a problem shared is a problem halved." Ada passes me a tissue, which I use to wipe the runny nose and dry my tears.
"I-I'm s-sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry about sweetie, we all need a good cry every now and then. Cleans out all the bad stuff."
I give her a grateful smile and take a few deep breaths to calm myself. A steaming coffee cup is placed in front of me and I wrap my hands around it, the warmth grounding me. Ada takes a seat opposite, holding her own cup and waits patiently. She'd never push me, she never has, just waits patiently for me to talk when I'm ready. She's my very own therapist, just listens and makes all the appropriate noises before giving me advice. She never judges me or yells, despite some of the stupid stuff me and Trina have got up to over the years, just listens to our side and then helps us to see it clearly.
I lift the cup to my mouth a take a sip of the scolding hot coffee, ignoring the burning sensation in my mouth. I hold it in my mouth for a couple of seconds, trying to take in the full bittersweet taste. Ada's right, coffee does make everything better.
"The bi-, I mean my Mother was in a car accident."
"Yes, Trina told me, how is she?" Ada's a pretty good actress, we both know she can't stand my Mom almost as much as me.
"She's got a broken arm and she must have hit her head or something, it was bandaged."
"Well, honey, I know full well it's not your Mama being in a car accident that’s got you all upset."
"I just, I just don’t get it. Why does she hate me so much? I never did anything to her."
Ada takes my hand in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. She looks at me, her eyes full of sympathy. I hate it. I hate that look, like I'm the poor little girl whose Mother doesn’t love her.
"There are some women in the world, Liv, that just aren't meant to be Mothers. Now, that doesn’t mean they can't have children since you're very much here. It just means that they haven't got it in them to love and care for a child, unfortunately it’s the child that suffers."
"Why do they have children then?"
"Oh I can't answer that honey, I love Trina to death, and you. You’re a big girl now, you’re a young women. You need to let everything go and move onto the future, so you can heal. Trina tells me you've found yourself a beau." She raises her eyebrows, causing me to giggle like one of those mindless twits in the movies.
"Noah." I whisper.
"Well, I'm very much looking forward to meeting this young man who's captured your heart."
"Who says he's captured my heart?"
"Oh Liv." Ada shakes her head and smiles. "Nobody had to, the look on your face says it all. I have a feeling that this Noah will be the making of you, you know how I get with my feelings Liv, never wrong. Aaaah to be young again and finding your forever love."
She's right, she is never wrong. Whether Noah is
my forever love remains to be seen, I can only hope so.
Chapter 20
Noah
I'm ready to blow my own brains out, I've never been so fucking bored in my life. You'd think we were tourists in Europe with the way my Moms carrying on. Hell, we only live four fucking hours away, yet she's had us traipsing round museums all day like we're on a fucking school field trip. She couldn’t drag us to any half decent museums either, no we're not looking at some giant ass dinosaur skeleton or some shit, no we're in a fucking museum dedicated to a damn writer. Yeah, apparently people who don’t have a damn life and spent all their time on a typewriter or quill or whatever the hell they used back then, they're fricking celebrated. I've had to listen to my Mom ooohing and aaahhing for the past half hour. The huge essay I had to write last year took me near on three weeks to do, if anyone deserves a museum for writing, it's me.
To top it all off I haven't heard from Liv since she left to go to the hospital with her Dad, that was hours ago. I thought they were doing a quick in and out and then they'd be back. My Mom hasn’t heard from Phil either so that gives me a little comfort. Actually, she's pretty antsy when she's not entranced by some piece of memorabilia. I've noticed her check her phone throughout the day, much the same as what I've been doing.
Chase is dragging his feet behind me, this is basically his worst nightmare, anywhere that doesn’t have a WiFi connection. His brains are probably fried now, the guy lives and breathes video games. I've never seen the attraction myself, I actually have a life. At this rate my little brothers gonna be one of those forty year old virgins living in their Mothers basement.
We walk down the stairs towards the entrance. Thank fuck its nearly over, that’s two hours I'm never gonna get back. I can almost see the change come over my Mom in front of me when her phone beeps with an incoming call and she walks a little away to answer. Her shoulders relax and a bright smile takes over her face as she talks to who I suspect is Phil on the other end. She's been all nervous all day, maybe she was nervous about Phil being around his ex, they were married for like fifteen years after all. I don’t think id be too jazzed about Liv being around one of her exes. Better put that thought away, don’t wanna be punching holes in the walls of an old country house that's some type of national treasure, I'm pretty sure I could get in some deep shit for that.
"That Phil?" I ask as nonchatenly as I can.
I wanna know why the fuck I havent heard from Liv but I can hardly ask my Mom that, don’t wanna be raising suspicions. Truth be told, I'm sick of hiding this shit now. I don’t see why we need to sneak around, parents be damned. I'm in love with my girl, I plan to spend the rest of my life with her. Some people may say we're too young, that its just a faze, that it’s a case of wanting what you can't have but I don’t give two flying fucks. I know how I feel, I know this is the real deal and instead of panic that I'm gonna be tied down for the rest of life, that I'm only ever gonna be with one woman, I'm excited for the future.
"Yes, he's gonna meet us outside, he should be here in ten minutes. He was at the hotel so it's not far."
"Wait a minute, at the hotel? Why'd they go back there?"
"I don’t know sweetie but Livs not with him. You'll need to ask him when he gets here, he only said he was waiting back at the hotel to see if Liv would show up and that he was going to meet us here."
What the hell? I'm pretty sure I told Liv to text me as soon as she finishes up at the hospital. I pull my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and scroll down to Livs name. I could call her but I don’t want my Mom hearing or nosy ass Chase. I decide to shoot off a quick text to her.
Where r u?
There and no kiss at the end either. Man, I sound like a complete fucking pussy. I need to pull myself together, this girl is turning me into a damn chick. I stare at the screen on my phone, willing it to beep or chime or something. I stand on the sidewalk in front of this bigass three storey building waiting for that little vibration in my hand to signal she's wrote back. When it does, I jam my fingers into the touch screen, as if that’s gonna make it go any quicker.
At Trina's, Sry 4got 2 call u wen I got out. Come pick me up?
Well now I just feel like a paranoid dick. I dunno what I was worrying about, I guess I've just had a bad feeling all day. Like a pit in my stomach telling me to keep an eye on Liv. I shake my head and let out a small chuckle that I just nearly lost my shit all because she forgot to text me. Fuck knows what I'm gonna do when she's at college, actually we haven't really spoken about her whole college situation. I've already told her about my plans to join the police department, she never really went into what she wanted to do. Fuck knows how I'm gonna handle it if she decides on going to college at the other side of the country or some shit. Id never stop her from following her dream if that’s what she wants to do, I sure wouldn’t like it though. Me and my girl are solid though, doesn’t matter how long we've been together or how long we've known each other, time is just a number.
I ask her to send me Trina's address since I'm not from round these parts and I don’t have a clue where it is. I'm itching to go to her but I don’t feel comfortable leaving my Mom and Chase here alone to wait for Phil. I don’t care that it’s a public place or whatever, this is still a strange city to us and I won't make that dick move. I can't travel with them anyway since we came in my car, I figure Phil'll just take them. I'll just tell him I'm going to pick Liv up, there nothing suspect about that.
Saying I'm not gonna leave my Mom and Chase and actually being ok with it is another deal altogether. After what happened between me and Liv last night, I just wanna get to her and Phil taking his sweet time is not helping me do that. I feel like falling to my knees and thanking the Gods above when his white Rover pulls up to the sidewalk in front of us. Instead of his usual chipper and doofus self, he seems totally stressed. If Livs Mom is even half the dragon I suspect, I don’t blame him. The things I've heard about that bitch make me wanna drop kick her, woman or not. The fact she can do that shit to her own daughter though, well that’s just fucked up. I don’t pretend to understand Livs plight, I have an amazing Mom who worships me and Chase, always has, probably always will. My Dad was the same, so I don’t understand how someone could act like their own kid was some kind of inconvenience to them. I also don’t get how Phil can be blind to that shit, that’s on him. Luckily for him, I see the way he loves Liv, I heard him go on and on about her before she arrived, he was so excited to have his baby girl, as he calls her, living with him again.
"How was the hospital?" My Mom asks, to which Phil gives her a look that just about says it all.
"That bad huh?" She says, rubbing his arm up and down soothingly.
"Bad? Bad doesn’t even cover it. Liv bailed."
"Wait, what do you mean Liv bailed?" I ask, involving myself in the conversation.
She didn’t mention anything to me, though we did only have a short text back and forth.
"Oh yes, I went to ask the nurses about when Dana would be release and whatnot, come back to hear Liv telling her Mother to eat shit and die and then she hightails it out of the room. I must have searched that hospital top to bottom for two hours looking for her until the lady at the main reception mentioned seeing her leave. That girl is gonna find herself grounded for a month, hell for the rest of the year when I see her." He runs his hands through his hair.
I don’t even know what to say, does he know that she's at Trina's? Should I mention it? Somehow I don’t think him grounding Liv is gonna go over too well. I decide to stay quiet about hearing from Liv as my Mom and Chase pile into the car. At least knucklehead doesn’t wanna ride with me,
"Drive safe sweetie, we'll meet you back at the hotel." My Mom shouts before slamming her car door.
Phil gives me a nod seconding that and I am more than happy seeing the back of that car, now I can concentrate getting to my girl and hearing the full story. I take a brisk walk towards the parking lot at the side of the building before climbing into my M
ustang. It smells of Liv, nobody else would notice that shit but I'm so used to that sweet scent of hers I would know it anywhere. It definitely calms me smelling her here, in my space. I like the thought of her taking over my things, I wanna be able to smell her everywhere, I wanna see her girly shit in my bathroom and her clothes in my closet. I've definitely gotta work on this whole secrecy thing, I want everyone to know that Liv is mine.
***
I pull up to the light yellow house with the white wraparound porch. It’s a good old southern home that I know Liv loves from the conversations we've had, I can see why. It's definitely got charm with the wind chimes hanging by the front door and the rocking chair sitting on the porch under the window, I walk up to the door and press the bell before turning around to take a look at the street. Its kinda weird being somewhere that I know Liv has spent a lot of time. I know that she spent more time here than at her Moms and she's really close to Trina and her family. Its kinda like me and Brady, his parents are some hot shot business people who travel a lot so Brady spent most of his time at our house. I hear the door unlatch behind me and spin around to come face to face with who I suspect is Trina. Shes got some bigass afro, I have a little hair envy at this chick, its way cool. Her eyebrow is quirked as she looks me from head to toe. I feel a little like a science project with all the deep staring, she's definitely giving me the once over. Looks like she's as protective of Liv as I am.
"So you’re the dumb jock huh?" She says with her Southern twang before giving a nod and turning into the house. "Come on in."
I follow her through the living room which couldn’t be any more different to the outside, all bright throw cushions and modern touches everywhere. The huge ass fireplace keeps some of that homely feeling though, another thing I know Liv loves. I follow her through to the kitchen where I see my girl sitting at the island sipping what I'm sure is coffee, damn girls addicted to the stuff. She looks towards me, a bright smile lighting up her face, making my heart miss a bit. Happens. Every. Fucking. Time.
Forever Love Page 16
