“If Violet is that involved in her book, you better be careful, Mamm,” Effie warned. “She’s probably not going to want you to bother her. Violet gets crabby when people interrupt her.” Privately, Effie thought her sister’s interest in the book might have more to do with taking a break from kitchen chores. Violet liked washing dishes even less than she did.
“Before she picked you two up, she sat out there for two whole hours.” Drumming her fingers on the countertop, her mother looked over at the back door. “I bet she’s probably ready for a little break.” Before Effie could comment on that, she started Violet’s way.
Effie was both thankful that she had a few minutes alone with Josiah and embarrassed by her mother’s antics. “Josiah, I’m so sorry that my mamm practically forced you to say you’d come over here again,” she blurted. “And I’m sorry you had to witness her getting so excited about baking, too.”
“I didn’t mind. Your mother is a nice lady, Effie. It’s really kind of her to ask me to come over again.”
Her mother was nice, but she was also not afraid to ask people to help Effie. “Just to let you know, you don’t, um, have to feel responsible for me. I can walk by myself.”
“I know.”
“And Jennifer C. is kind of a brat. She always has been. But she hasn’t been picking on me. I’m not worried about her saying mean things.” At least, not too worried.
“I do like to give those girls something to talk about, but I want to be with you, too.”
“You . . . you do?”
“Jah. I like being around you, Ef. You’re easy. You don’t talk nonstop like most girls. And you’re nice to everyone. I like that.”
Effie felt her pulse race. What was she supposed to say to that? Thank you?
While she was figuring out the right response, he took a breath, then added, “And if you want to know the truth . . . things aren’t great at my house right now. I was kind of looking for a reason not to go home.”
She was about to ask why when a new awareness settled inside her. Maybe it was because she’d often pretended things were fine even when they weren’t. Or maybe it was because she was in junior high and not a kid anymore. Regardless, she knew better than to ask him any more about his reasons.
And for the first time in her life, she realized that her disability was going to come in handy. If it gave her an excuse to be with Josiah, and Josiah an excuse to come over and eat, then she was going to start thinking of it as a blessing.
“I like hanging out with you, too, Josiah,” she said at last. “I am glad we’re friends.” Then she smiled.
When he smiled back, she knew all the awkwardness and second-guessing she’d been feeling was worth it. For the first time, she would be the person helping out instead of the recipient of a good deed.
It was a blessing.
And, well, now that she knew she was going to get to spend even more time with Josiah, she felt a little warm inside, too.
Chapter 6
December 4
After spending most of the night tossing and turning, Beverly knew something had to be done.
As the sun was taking its time starting the day, she slipped on a light cotton sweater and went for a walk. Watching the pink and rose streaks begin to color the sky, she breathed deeply. If she concentrated, she could smell the salt of the ocean from the nearby keys. The fresh air felt rejuvenating and clean. Exactly what she needed—a way to clear her head and put things into perspective.
Yes, her inn had been robbed.
And it had been scary.
But it wasn’t the end of the world.
And Eric? Well, he was still the man he’d been when they’d first met. He was the same Eric she’d been secretly developing feelings for over the last six months. The only difference was that he now trusted her enough to tell her about his past.
She deeply regretted taking that trust and practically throwing it away.
“Why, Lord?” she murmured as the sky began changing again. The pink rays of light dissipated, leaving the heavens a pale blue tinged with golden light. It was beautiful. Perfect in its simplicity.
A verse from Proverbs settled in her heart: A pretentious, showy life is an empty life; a plain and simple life is a full life. Wasn’t that what she should remember? There was no need to analyze and worry and make things more complicated than they already were.
“Have I been doing that with Eric, Lord?” she murmured.
Of course, the answer was right there before her. Dawn’s arrival was neither simple nor uncomplicated. Its appearance was also never the same two days in a row.
Why would she expect her life to be any different?
“All right,” she mumbled under her breath. “I get your point.”
“Beverly, are you talking to yourself?” Ginny Kaufmann’s voice called out from behind her.
“Maybe.” She turned and smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t see you there, Ginny.”
“That may be my fault,” she said as she approached, sporty white tennis shoes on her feet. “When I saw you up ahead I raced to catch up to you. It’s always more fun to walk with a friend.”
“I agree. It’s gut to see you, too. I was just thinking how nice it was to see this morning’s sunrise.” Beverly’s lips twitched. “And, yes, I was talking to the Lord, too.”
Ginny looked embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry. Here you were, praying, and I barged in.” Looking like she was ready to turn around, she asked, “Would you like me to leave you in peace?”
“Not at all. I’ve been meaning to thank you again for your hospitality the other night. I truly appreciate you all having me over.”
Ginny smiled. “It was our pleasure. I was happy to help you. And I still am. Please let me know if I can do anything at all.”
Beverly was thankful to have a friend like her. And because she knew Ginny was being sincere, she said, “Actually, I was just puzzling over something. If you have time to listen, I could use your ear.”
“Of course I have time for you. There’s a teacher meeting or something this morning, so school doesn’t even start until lunchtime.”
“Lucky you,” Beverly teased. She remembered that Ginny worked part-time as a teachers’ assistant and classroom aide at the public elementary school.
Ginny beamed. “I thought so. I decided to use the extra time to get a little exercise. Effie will be sleeping as long as she can, no doubt. What’s going on?”
“Everything,” Beverly blurted as they turned right.
“Whoa! That’s a lot. Are you upset about the break-in?”
“I am, but that’s not what kept me up last night. See, I learned something upsetting about Eric and I don’t know what to think about it.”
“That sounds intriguing. Is it about him and his girlfriend?”
Beverly shook her head. “Nee. He broke up with Amy months ago. What I keep thinking about has to do with his past.”
“How far in the past?”
“Years.” Doing some quick mental calculating, she said, “Probably fifteen years or so.”
Ginny slowed. “So it happened long before you knew each other.”
“It did.” After a pause, Beverly added, “I don’t want to betray Eric’s confidence, but I feel like I need to talk about what he told me.”
“If you’d care to share it, I promise I will keep it to myself.”
Beverly had a feeling that the Lord had brought Ginny Kaufmann to her side on purpose. She could either trust Ginny enough to help her get through her worries or continue to fret on her own. Put that way, there seemed to be no other choice.
“Basically, Eric told me that he got into some trouble when he was young. He, um, actually robbed houses.”
Ginny stopped and stared. “Goodness!”
Ginny’s exclamation was so similar to how she’d been feeling, Beverly almost smiled. “I know! I’ve been trying to pray my way through my feelings, but I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t come to terms with it yet.�
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“What are you hoping to come to terms with? Do you want to accept his past or reject it?”
“It’s not quite that easy, Ginny.”
“I kind of think it is,” she countered as they started walking again. “After all, this happened years ago. Long before he knew you or the inn or anything.”
“That is true.” Then, because she didn’t want Ginny seeing Eric in a poor light, she added, “He said he had a difficult home life. One that forced him to make some bad choices.”
“That’s probably true, don’t you think?”
“Jah.”
“So, what did he do?” Ginny asked. “Did he rob lots of people? Did he get caught?” Her blue eyes widened. “Did he get hurt or hurt someone else?”
“Well, he got sent to jail.”
Ginny’s eyebrows rose. “He went to prison?”
“Not exactly. I mean, he went to a prison for children.” Remembering the exact phrase, she said, “It was a juvenile detention center.”
“Ah.”
“He said when he got out of that place, he made the choice to do things differently.” Thinking of how agitated he’d looked, she added, “I think he feels really guilty about his crimes. It weighs on him.”
Ginny glanced at her again. “So he’s changed since then.”
“Jah. He is different. Much different.”
They turned right and continued their brisk walk. Beverly noticed that the sun was now hovering over the horizon, its golden rays illuminating the area, making everything look bright and clean.
“I made a mistake, didn’t I?” she said at last. “I’ve been penalizing Eric for something he did when he was a child. Something he’s already paid the price for.” With a sinking feeling, Beverly made herself say the rest. “If he hadn’t told me any of this, I would have never known. He trusted me and I betrayed that trust.”
“I’ve never been in your situation,” Ginny said, “but I can share that whenever something has happened with my children, I try to remember that we each have our own path to follow. And as time passes, we grow and change; we’re never the same people that we were the day before.”
“I shouldn’t judge Eric on who he was as a teenager, should I?”
“That is your decision, Beverly. I’m just saying that I think judging folks on who they used to be is a slippery slope.” Waving a hand at the remainder of the beautiful sunrise, Ginny added, “Just imagine how awful it would be if day broke the same way every morning.”
It wouldn’t be as glorious. Each morning’s sunrise was special and different. Worth celebrating.
Perhaps that was why the Lord gave them so many days on the earth. One needed time to celebrate each day. As they turned right again and headed back toward the inn, Beverly nodded. “You’re right about so much, Ginny. I feel better about Eric’s past. Even better about the robbery. Danke for lending me your ear.”
“Anytime, dear. And don’t worry. I won’t say a word about what you shared.”
“Thank you. I would feel awful if Eric heard and thought I was gossiping about him.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’ve been gossiping. You’re merely sharing a bit of yourself and your worries with a friend. We all need our friends, I think. There’s not a thing wrong with that, either.”
As they approached the inn, Beverly smiled brightly. “Danke, Ginny. Not only have you given me shelter, you’ve been a great friend this morning. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You never need to do that. Friends are there for each other.” With a meaningful look at the sky, she added, “Rain or shine.”
Beverly smiled and waved good-bye. As she walked into the inn with the rays of sunlight just starting to warm the air and ground, she felt better than she had in days.
AFTER THEY’D ARGUED YESTERDAY, Beverly and Eric had spent the evening cleaning up the worst of the mess. Things now looked neat enough for her to tackle the guest log. She was still staring at it when she heard Eric coming downstairs just after nine.
She knew it was time to face him, though she still had no idea how she was going to ever attempt to make things better between them. However, she needed to do something. The guilt she felt was practically making her sick to her stomach.
By the time he reached the bottom step, his feet bare as usual, she was up and waiting for him. “Gut matin,” she said in a rush.
“Good morning.” Eric’s words were smooth but his glance wary. And it was no less than she deserved.
She stepped closer. “Eric, please let me apologize for everything I said last night.”
“You don’t need to apologize. I should’ve told you about my past months ago.”
“Of course you didn’t need to do that. Your past is your business, not mine.”
“That’s not quite true. The fact that I was locked up is a pretty big deal, Bev. I can understand why it would have caught you off guard.” Looking more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him before, he said, “Do you want to talk about my past some more?”
“Nee. There’s nothing more to say, is there? Unless you have more dark experiences to share?” She attempted to joke.
Her joke fell flat.
“Not really.” Looking at her quietly, he crossed his arms over his chest. Today he wore a snug white T-shirt half tucked into a pair of faded jeans.
She bit her lip so she wouldn’t stare at him. Even when they argued, she couldn’t deny that she found him attractive. Confused about that, and her mixed-up, crazy emotions wherever he was concerned, she turned toward the kitchen. “I’d like a cup of kaffi. Would you like one, too?”
“Coffee would be good,” he said as he followed her into the kitchen. “Now, what were you working on?”
“I was trying to figure out who to call to help with the broken window.”
“You don’t need to worry about that. I’ll call around and make sure the window is taken care of today.”
“You think you can get it replaced that fast?” She knew she sounded mulish, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. She hated that he had a solution for everything. She hated that he seemed to be taking everything in stride while she jumped at every creak and groan in the house.
“I know we can.” Looking at her directly, he placed his hands on his hips. “So, how about we open the doors tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” She gulped. “But . . . that seems sudden. Don’t you think it’s a little soon?”
“The rooms are in good order and we got the worst of the gathering room cleaned up last night. What else is there to do?”
“I would need to call and email all the guests whose reservations I just cancelled.”
“I can make those phone calls. I bet Sadie or another friend could help, too.”
“But I have a certain way I keep track of everything.”
“I can figure out your system, Beverly.”
“And bake,” she said, grabbing hold of the next excuse. “I can’t have guests without any of my freshly baked goods. I’m going to have to bake all day to be ready for guests tomorrow.”
“You bake, then.”
“But there are still the broken lamps and the scuffed walls . . .”
“How about you let me take care of that? I’ve been meaning to talk to Emma and Jay Hilty and pick up some produce from their farm. They’ll know who to see about getting some lamps. Frank Kaufmann will no doubt help, too.” Still looking at her carefully, he said, “I’m going to go ask Tricia to lend a hand as well.”
“But Tricia doesn’t work here any longer.” Though Tricia had worked for Beverly for six months, she was a newlywed now. She was setting up her own house. She didn’t need to worry about the inn.
“Tricia is your niece, Bev,” Eric replied patiently. “If you ask her for some help, I’m sure she can give you a few hours. Besides, you know she would be upset if she discovered that you needed her help but never asked.”
She thought he probably had a point there. “All right. Bu
t there’s still a chance that we won’t be able to get everything done—”
“We can try, right?” He finished his coffee, then poured himself another cup. “Now, go get out your flour and sugar and start baking. I’m going to get those phone calls taken care of and then run over to Tricia’s.”
Though he seemed hopeful, Beverly noticed that Eric still wasn’t exactly facing her. Some of the warm light that usually shone in his eyes was absent, too. He didn’t trust her any longer.
“Eric, are we going to be okay?”
“We’re going to be just fine, Bev.”
“Are you sure?” Because she certainly wasn’t.
He lifted up a pair of kitchen towels with fanciful reindeer appliquéd on them, a sweet gift from a frequent guest. “It’s almost Christmas. All around us, people are thinking of others, making holiday plans, planning special memories.”
She didn’t follow. “So?”
“So, holidays come in spite of troubles. Friendships and family still matter even when we are sick or troubled. Life happens.”
“I know, but—”
“We can’t just sit still and worry, Beverly. The rest of the world doesn’t stop when we do.”
“I suppose it doesn’t, at that.”
“Then, let’s move forward, too. After all, what other option is there?”
“None, I suppose.”
“All right, you get busy in here. I’ll be back soon.”
Once Eric was gone, Beverly turned back to the pantry. As always, it was immaculate and neatly organized. Before the robbery, the pantry had been one of the things in her life she was most proud of. Now it seemed like nothing more than a surplus of food. She frowned but then remembered what all those ingredients could eventually be made into.
And how much Eric liked homemade meals.
Maybe it was time to make something special for him. She needed to do something to ease things between them. And to make amends for betraying his trust. Even if he never found out that she’d shared his story with Ginny Kaufmann she knew that it hadn’t been the nicest thing to do. If she couldn’t let him know how much he meant to her through words, she would have to show him through her actions.
A Christmas Bride in Pinecraft Page 6
