by Suzy Turner
One of the things that Emma loved about the church was that when the sun did shine, the light that came through the stained glass windows was absolutely beautiful. She was so pleased therefore when the clouds finally moved on from overhead, heading back out to to the North Sea, and the church was suddenly lit up by all kinds of wonderful colours and patterns.
Her face lit up along with it as she stood and stretched her legs, turning to Scott and Lana with a smile. Neither of them said a word, they just followed her to the open door and looked out at the most spectacular rainbow that stood proudly across the island.
Emma took a deep breath. Even though she was frightened of the heavy rain, she appreciated what was left behind - a scent of freshness filled the air and a slight chill carried across the ground.
'Come on, let's head home,' Lana said as she gently pushed her sister out into the cool air.
The three of them climbed onto their bikes, which had been sheltered from the water in the entrance to the church and pushed themselves away, waving to Father Hawkins who had been solemnly walking around the church grounds under a huge umbrella which he closed as they disappeared out of sight.
What they didn't see was Joe, standing in the distance beside his freshly laid grave, looking out across the sea sadly.
CHAPTER TWELVE
It was time.
Emma was sweating profusely, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and nausea rolled around in her stomach threatening to erupt at any moment. Audrey had done everything she possibly could to try and calm her stomach down but nothing had worked, not even the ginger tea. Emma would simply have to put up with it. She would have to face her biggest fear head on.
They sat at the port, waiting for the ferry that would take them directly into London. On it was their father's friend and former colleague, Declan Alexander. Emma and Lana would be entirely in his care for the next few weeks, and they had absolutely no idea what to expect. They knew nothing about him, other than that he and Patrick worked in the police force together a few years ago. Their parents hadn't even told them what they would be doing for work experience.
'We'll leave it up to Declan to explain when you get there,' they'd said mysteriously.
Lana glanced across at her sister as they sat with Scott sipping a hot cup of tea inside the little terminal building, while Patrick and Audrey took Lucy and Greg for ice cream.
'I still can't believe you're leaving me to go to London while I stay here and do work experience on my own,' sulked Scott.
Lana was beaming, 'I know! Isn't it awesome?' she laughed.
He raised his eyebrows.
'Well, at least you're going to be doing something fun. It's not like you're going to be working in your parents shop.'
'Fun? I'm going to be working on the Nutter's farm. How is that fun?'
'Aww come on Scott, you love animals,' Lana said, giving him a jab on his shoulder, 'Besides, Charlie and Keira are lovely. They'll go easy on you.'
Charlie and Keira Nutter ran the island's largest organic farm.
'Yeah, they might go easy on me but I doubt Lottie will,' he said blushing slightly.
Suddenly, Emma stood up, her hands covering her mouth and she rushed towards the toilets.
Scott raised his eyebrows again, 'That's the third time she's thrown up since we've been here.'
'I know, I'm sure she'll be all right,' said Lana a little unconvincingly, 'I'd better go and check.'
In the bathroom, Emma was heaving inside one of three little cubicles.
Lana opened the door to the one next door, stood on the toilet and peered over to look at her sister.
'Are you okay, Sis?' she whispered. Emma responded with a groan before she flushed the loo, grabbed a handful of toilet paper, wiped her mouth and put the toilet seat down so she could sit.
'No!' yelled Lana, making Emma stop abruptly mid-crouch. ''Don't sit on it. It's a public toilet. It's disgusting.'
'I don't care,' groaned Emma as she continued to crouch before her black jeans made contact with the toilet seat cover.
Lana's face screwed up in disgust and she silently gagged. 'Come on, Sis. Come on out of here. We're not going to see Scott for a few weeks, don't you want to spend our last half hour with him?'
'Of course I do, but I feel so sick Lana...'
'Nonsense. This is completely and utterly psychological, Em. You're making your body sick because of this irrational fear you've got going on. You need to control it and you won't feel sick again.'
'Tell her to go out and get some fresh air,' said a familiar voice from the third cubicle.
'Yeah, I tried that earlier but she wouldn't go out,' replied Lana.
'Huh? What are you talking about?' asked Emma.
'Oh, it's Joe. He says you should go outside and get some fresh air.'
'Joe? Joe is in here? These are the ladies toilets. Tell him to get out.'
'He can hear you, Emma. Besides, I think he's gone,' said Lana as she hopped down from the toilet and checked that there was nothing gross on the bottom of her shoes. Content that they were as clean as they could be, she pulled open the cubicle door and looked down at her sister.
'Come on you, Joe has a point, let's go outside. It'll make you feel better. Being stuck in a public loo certainly isn't going to. In fact its making me feel nauseous. Come here,' she said as she pulled her to the sink, where she grabbed a load of paper and used it to cover the tap before she turned it on and gently dabbed Emma's forehead with some cold water.
'Ooh that's nice,' she said with her first smile that day. 'Thanks Sis. I'm sorry for being like this. I wish I could help it, but I don't think I can. But don't worry, I'll do it. Just bear with me, okay?'
Lana was touched and smiled, 'I knew you could do it.'
The sound of an approaching ferry horn welcomed them as they stepped outside with Scott in tow. Emma breathed in deeply, trying to ignore the smells coming from the sea, focussing instead on the fresh air.
'It's here, girls,' said Patrick as the rest of the family made their way towards them. 'How are you feeling? Do you think you'll be all right, love?'
Emma nodded at her father and smiled weakly as he gently ruffled her hair like she was a child. She rolled her eyes at him and he laughed. 'Oh look, there's Declan,' he said as he pointed towards a very handsome guy who was waving energetically at them from the approaching boat. A boat that appeared to be awfully small for a ferry, thought Emma as she gulped, trying to calm her nerves.
As it docked, the family watched as just two cars drove off the ramp and onto the island. Over the tannoy came the announcement that the ferry would be leaving in precisely 30 minutes time.
Declan walked confidently towards them with the biggest grin plastered across his face.
'Patrick, my man!' he said, making the kids giggle, 'Great to see you, mate. How have you been?'
'Really good, look at you, you've barely aged at all. That London air is obviously still doing you some good,' Patrick said after they'd hugged each other.
'Wow, Audrey, you look exactly the same as last time I saw you. You look like an angel,' he said as he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her cheek.
'And you, Mister... you must be Greg. We've never met but I'd have known you anywhere. You're a chip off the old block, you are,' he said as he shook Greg's hand, 'and what a mighty grip you've got there,' Greg's chest visibly rose as he enjoyed the compliment.
'And this little lady is obviously Lucy Jo. Well, Miss Lucy Jo, you look just like a little angel with them golden curls. You're going to be a real heart breaker, you are, aren't you?'
Lucy giggled and blushed, nodding. The rest of the family burst out laughing.
'Well at least she knows she is,' chuckled Audrey.
Finally, Declan turned to the two elder girls and held out his hand, shaking Lana's hand first before moving over to Emma's. 'Lana Beth and Emma Jane. It's an honour to finally meet you both. Your Dad's told me a lot about you and I have to say, me a
nd Saleena are certainly looking forward to the next couple of weeks. I hope you are too?'
Lana nodded with a huge grin, while a familiar nauseous feeling overcame Emma and she put her hand over her mouth.
Declan glanced across at Patrick who said, 'Emma's the one with the fear of water,' just as her face began to change colour, again.
'Oh right,' he replied and stepped towards her. Moving her hand away from her face, she looked up at him.
'Look at me, Emma. Focus on me, don't think about the nausea, just concentrate on something else, anything else. Think about a real nice memory, that's it, keep thinking until you've got that memory stuck firmly in your mind.'
Lana smirked at Scott who was trying not to laugh.
'That's it, have you got it. Are you visualising it now?'
Emma nodded as she thought about her 15th birthday when she'd been given a brand new road bike in matt black, with purple tape on the hand grips and purple tyres. She remembered the first time she'd gone out on it, on her own, cycling all the way down to the nearest wind turbine, where she'd stopped and sat for ages, just admiring her new bike with the whooshing sounds constantly whirring behind her. She sighed happily at the thought.
'Now, pinch your thumb and your forefinger together, like this. Do this whenever you start to feel dodgy again, okay, and it will pass. Your mind will be filled with thoughts of that good memory instead. How do you feel now?'
Emma's face changed, the nausea practically gone. She broke out into a grin, 'How did you do that? That's amazing,' she said in awe as Patrick and Audrey shared a smile over her shoulder.
'It's just a simple mind trick, that's all, but it works. Keep on doing it,' he said with a grin. 'Now, have we got time for a cuppa together before we're on our way? Oh, sorry mate, nearly forgot to say hello to you,' he said as he clapped his hand on Scott's back, almost knocking him over.
'This is Scott,' said Lana, 'he's our best friend.'
'Well, good to meet you, Scott. Don't worry, I'll take good care of 'em while they're away.'
Scott blushed just ever so slightly as the group walked back towards the café.
Twenty minutes later, Declan was stood holding both girls hold-alls as they said goodbye.
'Oh! I almost forgot,' said Audrey as she tucked her hands into her large handbag. 'Now, I know we've always said you don't need mobile phones on the island but...'
Lana and Emma both beamed at their mother as she presented each of them with a phone.
'... in London it's another matter altogether. If you need us, we're just a phone call away. I've already put all our numbers, including Scott's, in them for you,' she said as Lana took her phone with the bright pink cover and hugged Audrey tightly. Moving to her father, she turned and hugged him tightly too as Emma put her dark purple phone in her handbag before following suit.
'I'm going to miss you girls so much,' whispered Audrey, 'you're growing up so fast. It won't be long now until you're leaving us altogether...' she said, wiping away a tear from her cheek.
'She's right, you know. Work experience now, weddings tomorrow...' Patrick added with a chuckle.
'Erm, I don't think so, Dad,' laughed Lana as she and Emma gave Greg and Lucy a quick hug before following Declan onto the boat.
'Don't forget to bring us a present back!' yelled Lucy with a grin as she waved frantically.
'Be careful, girls. Look after them Declan!'
Declan turned, smiled and waved. 'I'll guard 'em with my life, Audrey. I promise you that. See you in a few weeks.'
As the boat chugged into motion, the two girls stood alongside their temporary guardian as they waved. Suddenly, Emma looked down into the churning waters below and her fear came back with a vengeance.
Over the sound of the engine, Declan shouted, 'Finger and thumb, Emma, finger and thumb.'
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
They'd been travelling for four hours, and although Emma had managed to sleep through much of it (thanks to Declan's mind tricks), she woke with a start when she heard a loud horn in the vicinity.
She turned to find Declan reading a newspaper to one side of her while Lana sat on the other, by the window, where she was utterly mesmerised by all that was happening along the Thames.
A sudden urge to throw up made Emma jump up, 'Erm, just need some fresh air,' she said.
'Do you want me to come with you?' asked Lana but her sister shook her head.
'No, I'll be fine. Thumb and forefinger, thumb and forefinger,' she muttered over and over as she walked away. She opened the door that led outside and a blast of cool air immediately made her feel a tad better. Finding a seat at the back of the boat, she sat down and breathed deeply, pushing her thumb and forefinger together so hard that her fingers turned white.
She forced herself to look up from the floor at the water that surrounded the small ferry boat. Thumb and forefinger, thumb and forefinger, she repeated in her head while she tried to think happy thoughts. But something was preventing her. It was as if a brick wall had been erected between the water and her happy thoughts. Slowly she felt the fear seep further into her bones, creeping from the soles of her feet right through her stomach to the top of her head. A wave of nausea came with it and she had no choice but to rush to the side of the boat, where she held on for dear life and vomited with her eyes tightly closed.
Forcing herself to slowly open them, she watched as the water was churned up and down, around and around by the slow chugging of the ferry. And that's when a voice entered her head and told her to jump.
'What the...,' she whispered, 'I'm not going to jump.'
But the voice had different ideas and soon Emma found herself sneaking a look around her to make sure no-one was watching as she climbed over the handrail.
Her face was as white as a sheet, but her body didn't seem to care as she threw herself from the boat, into the cold waters of the Thames estuary.
Hitting the cold water winded her. Breathing was almost impossible and she found she could no longer move her body as she began to sink further and further down below the surface. With her eyes wide open in terror, she watched as the boat continued on without her. Powerless to do anything, she simply watched the murky water around her, waiting for her terrible fate. Death by drowning, her biggest fear. One that she was certain was about to come true.
Nobody would know until it was too late. She had made sure no-one was watching as she threw herself in. Although death beckoned, confusion reigned in her head. Why had she done it? Why?
Suddenly, something began happening to her body and she felt a new found strength fill her lungs, almost as if she could breathe under water without actually inhaling it. Her arms and legs began to move gracefully through the water and she swam along the bottom of the estuary. She felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her and she laughed beneath the water, somersaulting and dancing like a water baby.
A strange itchiness began in her feet, slowly making its way to her ankles. Emma bent over and lifted the bottom of her jeans, only to find something black winding its way up her legs. A momentary shock of fear pulsed through her and she catapulted herself from the bottom of the Thames upwards until she broke the surface of the water. Scanning the numerous vessels that sailed around her, she concentrated all her efforts on finding her ferry boat.
When she spotted it in the distance, she dived back under the water and swam with such speed that when she surfaced again, she realised she had swum much too far. Laughing, momentarily forgetting about the strange thing climbing her body, she reversed, swimming back towards it. Swimming alongside, she started to think about how she was going to get back on board but before she could give it another thought, her body threw itself upwards and she landed, feet first, exactly where she had started, on the deck of the boat.
Sitting back down, she closed her eyes for a minute. 'I'm dreaming. None of that really happened to me,' she told herself. But when she opened her eyes, she wasn't alone. Sitting beside her was none other than t
he ghost of Josiah Grimshaw.
She closed her eyes again, took a deep breath and re-opened one and then the other. He was still there. The young man she'd seen die in hospital.
'H...ello.... Joe,' she whispered.
His face lit up as he turned to look at her. 'You can see me? You can see me now?'
Slowly she nodded.
'But why? You couldn't see me earlier on. I've been on the boat with you and Lana all day.'
Gulping, she scrutinised him, 'You have?'
'I...I... just came back outside when I saw you.... jump out of the water.'
'You did?'
He nodded.
'So it did happen,' she squealed, turning to him and attempting to hug him but her arms went right through him and she almost tumbled to the floor.
'Sorry,' he said, 'but if it hadn't happened, surely you wouldn't be soaked to the skin. Aren't you cold? You must be freezing.'
As Emma's teeth began to chatter, she realised that she was actually a bit chilly and her clothes were sopping wet. Now what? she thought. I can't very well go inside like this, Declan will go mad.
'Erm, Joe?'
'Yes Emma?'
'Can you do me a favour?'
Ten minutes later, Emma had managed to creep back inside without Declan noticing her. Lana met her in the toilets.
'What's going on?' she said, 'For some reason, Joe told me to bring your bag into the toilets... Oh My God... you're soaked. What happened? Jeese Emma are you all right? You look like you've been for a swim. Hang on a minute... you look amazing, how is that possible? For the past five days you've looked like you were about to die and now you look like, like.....'
'Like what, Lana?' laughed Emma.
'Like a new woman.'
'I feel exactly like that, Lana, I feel like a new woman. My fear... it's gone. it's completely and utterly gone!' she exclaimed as she took off her wet jeans and wrung them out over the sink.
