by Louise Hall
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Because she was flying home to Seattle straight after the show, they had both decided that it would be best if Kian stayed at home with the children.
“I’ll pick you up after the show,” Jax said as Cate was pushed towards the make-up room.
Cate looked at him quizzically. “I’ll give you a ride home,” he grinned, “I’ve got the record company jet.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Cate asked later that night as she stepped aboard the luxurious private jet.
“It’s nice to have some company,” Jax said, fastening his seatbelt.
“Is he OK?” he jerked his head towards Declan. Since he and Cate had got through to next week’s show, Declan was travelling back to Seattle with them. He was on the other side of the aisle, silently staring out of the window.
“He’s missing his wife,” Cate mouthed back.
“I know the feeling,” Jax leaned back in his seat, “if Liv was here right now, we’d be racking up shedloads of loyalty points with the mile-high club.”
“Ew,” Cate wrinkled her nose, “too much information, Jax.”
“Sex is a beautiful thing, sis,” Jax chuckled.
Cate balled up one of the linen napkins and tossed it at Jax. “Those are two words that very definitely should not be in the same sentence, sex and sister.”
“Hey Dec,” Jax called across the aisle. “We’re having a barbecue at our house tomorrow night. You should come?”
“Won’t it be too cold?” Cate asked.
Jax shook his head, “we’ll get heaters. It will be fine. What do you say, Dec?”
“I’m not really in the mood for a party.”
“I didn’t say anything about a party; it’s just a family barbecue, man.” Jax was persistent. “Do you like beer?”
“Yeah.”
“Please God tell me you’re not one of those veggie-munchers like Cate over here?”
Cate rolled her eyes but Declan laughed, “I’m definitely not a veggie-muncher.”
“That’s settled then, you’ve got no excuse not to come to the barbecue,” Jax closed his eyes, “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to get some sleep. I need to be well-rested when I get home. My wife and I have got a lot of catching up to do.”
“Still gross, Jax,” Cate mock-complained. “Besides, you were only away for one night.”
“That was more than enough,” Jax wiggled his eyebrows, “I’m a very virile young male.”
“Ugh,” Cate pretended to gag, “I think I’m going to vomit.”
CHAPTER 21
“Mama,” Mateo wriggled all over her far too early the next morning. “Can we go to the beach now?”
“Ugh,” Cate looked at the clock on her bedside table. It was just after eight am, it felt like only two minutes since she’d fallen asleep.
Everything ached but she couldn’t disappoint her little boy and she definitely couldn’t prove that condescending jerk from the clean-up team right. “I’m just going to grab a shower, Mats.”
The hot water did nothing to soothe her aching muscles. She pulled on her scruffiest pair of jeans, despairing that they hung loosely from her hips. She knew that a lot of women would have been ecstatic to have lost that much weight but she’d always worried that her figure wasn’t feminine enough. She pulled on her bra and frowned at the gapping between the silk cups and her flesh. Her breasts had always been small.
As soon as Stepping Out was finished, she was going to have to work hard to try and regain some of her femininity. She couldn’t remember ever feeling less sexy.
“Let’s get your coat and shoes on,” Cate knelt down to fasten his sturdy boots and felt her knees crack. She really needed to see the Stepping Out physiotherapist but Fridays and Saturdays at the studio were so busy and she was back in Seattle for the rest of the week.
When they got to the front, the jerk from the previous Monday was just setting up. There weren’t too many other volunteers. “You’re here,” he said, trying to hide his surprise.
Cate bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing. “We’re really excited to be doing this, aren’t we, Mats?”
“Yay,” Mateo clapped his hands excitedly. “We’re going to stop the animals getting hurt.”
The jerk, or Jim as he introduced himself, gave Cate and Mateo protective gloves, hand-grabbers and plastic sacks and assigned them a section of the beach. Up close, Cate couldn’t believe how much litter had just been dumped on the beach.
“Mama, it’s stuck,” Mateo was trying to pick something up from the ground. Cate went over to take a look. He put his hand-grabber down on the sand and was about to remove his gloves. “I think I can get it.”
“Don’t touch it,” Cate yelped, quickly darting between her son and the offending item. It was what looked like a used condom clinging to the sand. Mateo had been so close to touching it with his bare fingers.
She knelt down in front of Mateo and tried to calm her breathing. “There are some things on this beach that are really nasty, sweetheart. If you touch them without your gloves on, they could make you very poorly, OK?”
Mateo nodded, looking down at the used condom. “Promise me,” Cate said softly, “that you’ll always use the hand-grabber and you’ll keep your gloves on. If there’s anything you can’t pick up, you must let me know before you touch it.”
“I’m sorry,” Mateo said, pouting his bottom lip.
Cate gave him a hug, “I know you are, sweetheart. Why don’t you go and get that red can over there and I’ll try and pick this up?”
Who would just dump a used condom on a public beach like this? Cate carefully dropped the offending item in the plastic sack and went to catch up with her son.
“Wow, you have been busy,” Jim said as Cate and Mateo dragged their full sack of rubbish up the beach.
“There’s some, um…” Jim had explained before they started that he would get rid of the rubbish they collected from the beach. She wanted to warn him about what they’d found.
“I’m sure you have,” Jim said, saving Cate from the embarrassment. “After dark, the local teenagers like to congregate here. Because of the curve of the beach, I suppose they think that they are hidden from view. I should be glad that they are, uh…” He looked down at little Mateo, “being safe but I do wish that they would use the bins.”
“Did you have fun?” Nate asked when Cate and Mateo came home. Sierra reached out her chubby little arms for a cuddle.
Cate thought about all the disgusting things she’d picked up on the beach, albeit with protective gloves and a hand-grabber. She kissed her daughter’s forehead, “I need a hot shower and to incinerate most of my clothes before I can give you a cuddle, baby girl.”
After she’d showered and made sure that Mateo was clean, she went downstairs and took Sierra from Nate. “Oops, I almost forgot to tell you, Jax and Liv are having a barbecue at their house tonight. You’re welcome to join us.”
“Thanks,” Nate pulled a funny face which made Sierra giggle. “If it’s OK with you, I thought I might go to the gym instead.”
“That’s fine,” Cate knew he had a big kickboxing competition coming up. “I can’t believe you’re almost one,” she cuddled Sierra. “It feels like only yesterday that I was giving birth to you during that super-storm.”
Cate looked at Nate, “I’m a terrible mum. It’s my daughter’s first birthday soon and I’ve got absolutely no idea what to do?”
“What did you do for Lola and Mateo’s first birthdays?”
“Ha,” Cate joked, “I don’t know if I can remember that far back? No, we’ve always had laid-back parties, family and friends, good food, children running around everywhere.”
“I think those are the best kind,” Nate said.
“I remember Lola’s fourth birthday party,” Cate reminisced. “Kian offered to organise it – we were separated at the time. I didn’t want one of those hideous birthday parties with like Louis Vuitton gift bags
so I insisted that he couldn’t hire professionals, he had to do all of it himself. It was perfect. There was a big, bouncy castle in the garden and bunting everywhere. Liv made the most amazing cake that looked like the Rovers Stadium.”
Cate looked down at little Sierra, “I just want them to stay children for as long as possible. Did I tell you that we found a used condom on the beach today? Mateo couldn’t pick it up with the hand-grabber; at least I caught him before he took off his protective gloves.”
“That’s disgusting,” Nate frowned. “What the heck did he think it was?”
“Um, a water balloon?” Cate laughed. “It was the first thing I could think of.”
Lola trudged up the back garden towards the house, covered in mud. She’d been playing football with Luke, their next door neighbour. “Nope,” Cate shook her head, “you are not traipsing all that mud through the house. Take your boots off and leave them on the porch.”
“Fine,” Lola rolled her eyes.
As she walked barefoot to the stairs, Cate asked, “have you done all your homework?”
“Yes,” Lola said. “I did it on Friday. Nate checked it for me.”
“OK,” Cate didn’t like feeling out of the loop with her family. “We’re going to Auntie Liv and Uncle Jax’s for a barbecue this evening.”
“A barbecue?” Lola turned halfway up the stairs to face Cate, “but it’s freezing out there.”
“It’s Uncle Jax,” Cate said, letting her daughter know she agreed that having a barbecue outside in October sounded insane.
Because they would be having a late-ish night, she settled both Mateo and Sierra down for a nap. Taking advantage of the peace and quiet, Cate curled up in front of the crackling log fire and switched on her Kindle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had chance to read.
“Can I read with you?” Lola asked.
“Of course you can,” Cate smiled, pulling back the quilt so Lola could snuggle up at the other end of the sofa.
Cate pretended to be reading her Kindle but really she was savouring one of those rare and precious moments. Her youngest children were tucked up safe and warm in their beds upstairs and her oldest daughter was curled up on the other end of the sofa reading her book. It felt like her family was complete. She thought for a moment about the miscarriage. Maybe Kian was right when he’d said that it just wasn’t meant to be.
The front door opened, “I’m home.” Kian was back from training. “Dad!” Lola flung back the quilt and ran to the hallway to greet him. “I tried that trick you taught me when Luke and I were practicing our penalties this morning and it worked, he went the wrong way every time.”
“That’s great, Lo,” Kian brushed his lips against Cate’s cheek. He was still deliciously sweaty from this morning’s training session.
Sierra was awake upstairs. “I’ve said we’ll go to Liv and Jax’s for a barbecue this evening.”
“A barbecue?” Kian stopped suddenly on the stairs causing Cate who was right behind him to almost fall over. “But it’s October.”
Cate and Lola both rolled their eyes, “it’s Uncle Jax.”
Still shaking his head, Kian walked into the bedroom, “I’m going to grab a quick shower.”
Cate laughed, “this family is single-handedly depleting Seattle’s water supply. What do you think, baby girl?” Sierra giggled. “You’re the only one who hasn’t had a shower today.” As she picked her up from the cot, she realised that Sierra’s nappy needed changing. “You’re stinky, aren’t you?”
CHAPTER 22
“We’re eating inside,” Liv said, gesturing for everybody to follow her inside the house.
“Angel,” Jax scowled. He’d just lugged a hefty bag of coal up the steps from the garden to the wraparound porch. The rain was lashing down and his skinny black jeans were stuck to his legs. He was wearing a navy-blue raincoat with the hood pulled up. The hem of the raincoat was flapping wildly in the strong winds. “I’ve got a fresh bag of coal.”
Liv looked distinctly unimpressed. She put her hands on her hips and sighed. Sofia, who was strapped to her front, giggled and blew bubbles. Liv’s breath danced across the cold air like tiny o’s. “You’ve also got a wife and baby who don’t want to get hypothermia tonight.”
“How’s Hadley?” Cate asked. She and Declan were the last to go inside. She was really pleased that he’d decided to come to the barbecue tonight. She didn’t want him to be on his own; he would only worry about Hadley. Unlike in L.A. where he usually lived while filming Stepping Out, he didn’t know anybody in Seattle and was only there because of Cate.
“She’s OK,” Declan shrugged and took another sip from his bottle of beer. “I talked to her earlier and she said that Sadie had been really kind.”
“So…?” Liv asked mischievously, “what dance are you and Cate doing this week?”
Cate didn’t usually find out what dance they were doing until she arrived at training on Monday morning. Declan spent Sundays locked in the studio by himself working out the choreography.
“It’s Rumba this week.” Cate’s stomach plummeted to her ankles. Rumba was the one dance she really didn’t want to do on Stepping Out.
She could see from across the dining room that Sierra, who was in Kian’s arms, was fussing so Cate went across to pick her up. As she reached to take her daughter from Kian, she felt her jeans slip off her hipbone and quickly tugged them back up. It was a reminder of just how ridiculous it was that she was going to be doing a Rumba next Saturday night on national TV. The Rumba was supposed to be romantic and seductive; two things that Cate just didn’t feel right now. She’d lost the curves that made her feel womanly. She and Kian hadn’t made love since before she’d had the miscarriage.
“Hey Cate,” Julian, Jax’s producer friend was talking to Kian. “I heard you’re doing the Rumba next week. How are you going to cope with seeing your wife getting all touchy-feely with another bloke on national TV, Kian?”
“It’s just a dance,” Kian gritted his teeth.
“Still,” Julian shrugged, “I wouldn’t like it if it was my girl.”
Kian squeezed Cate’s hand, “if she was just a girl, maybe it would bother me more but she’s not, she’s my wife. I trust her implicitly. Nothing makes me prouder than watching Cate dance on a Saturday night.”
“Thank you,” Cate mouthed.
Julian quickly changed the subject back to the MLS season.
“It looks like Galaxy will get the top spot,” Kian tickled Sierra’s foot, making her giggle. “Dallas has found some decent form lately but I still think we’ve got a good chance of making second.” There were only a few games left of the regular season.
“With the injury to Andreas, I think this could be our year,” Julian crossed his fingers. “Do you think you’ll still be there next season?” There was a lot of speculation in the local press because Kian’s contract with Seattle F.C. was up at the end of the season.
“There’s an offer on the table but nothing’s been decided yet,” Kian shrugged non-committedly. He wasn’t going to decide anything until after the season had finished.
“Cate, can I borrow you for a second?” Liv asked.
Cate turned to Kian, “can you watch Mats and Lola for me?”
“Liv?” Cate walked into the kitchen, looking for her sister. Jax was taking the steaks out of the grill. “Through there,” he gestured to a small anteroom just off the kitchen.
Liv had lifted up her t-shirt and was taking off her bra when Cate walked in. “Really?” Cate quickly covered both hers and Sierra’s eyes. “You brought me in here to show me your boobs?”
“Sofia’s hungry,” Liv giggled. “Don’t be such a prude. Breastfeeding is natural.”
“It might well be,” Cate scowled, “but it still doesn’t mean that I want to see your boobs. Are you covered up yet?”
Liv rolled her eyes, “yes, my boobs and my hungry baby are safely under a blanket.”
Sierra was getting heavy so Cate sat
down on one of the padded wicker chairs. “What’s up?”
“Have you talked to Mum today?”
Cate shook her head, “I had a couple of missed calls from her while I was at the beach clean-up with Mats. I was going to call her back tomorrow.”
“She’s selling the house.”
“What?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you so when you talk to her tomorrow, act surprised. She said now that her children have all grown up and got their own families, the house is just too big for her. She’s thinking about buying an apartment instead.”
“An apartment?”
“The food’s almost ready,” Kian stood on the threshold. “Are you OK, angel?”
“Mum’s selling the house.”
“Liv!” Jax admonished. “You weren’t supposed to say anything. You promised Irene.”
“Can you burp Sofia?” Liv handed their daughter to Jax.
“Liv!” Kian winced, quickly covering his and Mateo’s eyes, “at least give me a warning if you’re going to show me your boobs. There are children present.”
Liv rolled her eyes, “you two are such prudes! How you ever conceived three children is beyond me.”
“I’m going to…” Cate desperately wanted to correct her sister. She and Kian had conceived four children not three but nobody else apart from Kian and Declan knew about the miscarriage. “Come on Mats, let’s go and wash our hands.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Liv asked Kian. “I was only joking.”
“I think she’s just upset about your mum selling the house.”
Later that night, when they were getting ready for bed, Cate said, “I know it’s the right decision for Mum to sell the house and buy something smaller. It’s a massive house for just one person. It’s just… I know I’m being really selfish but I’ve got so many memories tied up with that house. We had our first kiss in the alleyway at the side of the house. It was my refuge when I found out that you’d cheated on me at the World Cup. It’s where I went into labour with Mateo.”
