by Hope Ford
4 – Get married
5 – Have kids
6 – Get a tattoo (I guess – ooooh! I’m nervous)
7 – Help Jenny find a place to live
8 – Maybe get a cat (I’m allergic to dogs)
9 – Celebrate Christmas with a big family (of course I have to have a big family first, so it may be awhile, but I would love this and have dreamed about it since I was a little girl)
10 – Go on a date with you
So, I included my picture too.
Please stay safe, Master Sergeant Cooper!
Ivy
Cooper
I stuff the letter in my pants pocket and finish out the drills my team is working on. I took it out of the box of cookies she sent and brought it with me because I couldn’t read it right then. It almost feels like it’s burning a hole in my pocket. The thought that there is probably a picture of my sweet Ivy in it makes me want to open the damn thing here and now. But I don’t. I want to be seated at my desk with no interruptions when I see her for the first time. I have an image in my head and I can’t wait to find out if I’m right.
When I find another sergeant walking by, I grab him and tell him to take over. I run over to my makeshift office and, shutting the temporary door, I take a seat and pull the envelope out. First, I do what I always do when I get a letter from Ivy. I bring it up to my nose and inhale. The scent is everything I imagine she smells like.
Ripping open the letter, I pull out the photo and take a deep breath. Two women dressed up for a night on the town. Both of them beautiful, but I know which one she is. It’s like she’s telling me with her eyes and her smile is just for me. I fold back the picture and hold it closer to my face, as if I can get closer to her. Fuck, she’s beautiful. I can feel my cock thickening just looking at her. I squeeze myself through my pants and do a quick adjustment before I lay the photo gently on the desk and pick up her letter to start reading. And when I’m done, after I’ve read it three times and stared at her photo for awhile, I pick up the pen and paper to write her back.
Dear Ivy,
I received your letter, your cookies and your picture. As a matter of fact, I haven’t been able to put your picture down. You are exactly how I imagined. You are beautiful. You didn’t tell me which one you were, but I know. You’re lovely.
I can’t even begin to tell you how your picture makes me feel. But one thing I do know for certain is that I am looking forward to my retirement. The earlier I get to hold you in my arms, the better off I’ll be.
I know I’m probably moving fast. I don’t want to scare you off, but can I ask you a favor? Will you take the next several months and get to know me? Please?
I have all of these thoughts and images of what my future is going to look like and after seeing you, I know that you are what I want. You have been the missing piece.
Sorry, again, too fast, I know. Anyway, I loved reading your list. And well, I already have an idea for a tattoo, but I’ll wait to tell you.
Anyway, thank you again for the cookies! I have to go, but I wanted to jot you a quick letter.
Think of me my sweet Ivy,
Cooper
4
Ivy
December 2019
Almost a year since I first started writing Cooper and forty letters later, I can honestly say I’m in love. With each letter he sent me, I became even more enthralled with him. To the point where he’s all I’ve thought about. I’ve even turned down dates because of him.
When he found out that I had been asked out, he mentioned that he considered going AWOL to come get me. He’s a handsome, tattooed, possessive soldier and I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life.
But as the time has gotten closer, even though I know how I feel about him, I can’t wonder if he knows which one I am.
“Are you ready for tonight?” Jenny asks me as we walk around the grocery store.
Shrugging, I grab a gallon of milk and put it in the cart. “Yes, I guess.”
“I’ve been thinking about it, Ivy. And I don’t want to see you get hurt. I think that I should be there when he gets here. You answer the door and if he looks disappointed or anything, then I will act like I’m you.” She puts some snack cakes in the cart. It amazes me that she can eat junk the way she does and still lose weight.
I consider her offer and shake my head no. “That’s okay. Really. I think it will be fine. Plus, he’s a nice guy, so I know at least he will be nice about it.”
She puts some chips in the cart, and then stops in front of it, keeping me from moving. “I just think that if he’s expecting me, he’s going to be really upset when he sees you. No offense. You’re pretty, Ivy. But you have to admit, we look very different from each other. So, please just let me help you. I want to do this for you.”
I should be upset or even offended by Jenny’s words, but I’m not. Really, I’m used to her now. I feel sorry for her more than anything, but even though I’m ready for her to move, I can’t just kick her out. It’s past time for us to spend some time apart. “I’m pretty sure that after this year, it doesn’t matter what I look like. He tells me that he loves me, Jenny and I believe him. If you think you should be there, that’s fine. But I don’t think it’s going to be necessary.”
Now, I’m a ball of nerves. He texted a few minutes ago to let me know he was almost here. When the doorbell rings, I take a deep breath and walk past Jenny and slowly open the door.
When I look up at him, I suck in a breath. He’s even better looking in person. He’s also even bigger than I imagined. He has on blue jeans and a tight blue shirt. Stuttering, I tell him, “Hi.”
He starts to speak, but before he gets anything out, Jenny slides up beside me. “Cooper, I’m so happy to see you.”
I can feel my heart drop to my stomach. With my eyes wide, my arms hugging myself, I look between Cooper and Jenny. He looks confused. If I blinked, I would have missed it, because now he looks normal and I see him take a long glance down Jenny’s body. I turn away. I can’t take it. Maybe it was her all along that he thought was me.
I barely hear them talking. It’s like I have a train whistle blowing in my head. I feel nauseous and I put my hand on the wall to hold myself up.
Jenny goes to grab a coat out of the closet and Cooper puts his hand on my back. “Hey, are you all right?”
I pull from his touch, because just that slight feel of him has me wanting to confess everything to him, has me wanting to beg him to love me. Without turning to him, I say, “Yes, I’m fine.” I walk away from him and go into the kitchen. And I hold my breath until I hear Jenny holler out ‘bye’ and the front door closing behind them.
Cooper
For almost a year, I’ve been looking forward to this. I thought for sure when the door opened that ‘Jenny’ was Ivy. It’s hard when you spend all that time imagining what a woman looks like, only to find out you were wrong. Every time I took my cock into my hand, it was her face, her curvy body that I was imagining.
When Ivy walked up and said ‘hi’ to me, I couldn’t resist looking her up and down. It took everything I had not to look away in disgust. In her letters, I assumed that she was more conservative. But the woman standing before me is anything but. Even though it’s cold outside, she had a short skirt on and her breasts are hanging out. I couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment that came over me.
Driving across town, I tell her that I made reservations at the Italian restaurant.
“Oh,” she replies, and I can hear the disappointment in her voice.
At a red light, I look over at her. “Do you not feel like Italian?”
“Well, I don’t really like Italian. How about a steak house?” she asks as she chomps on her gum and twirls her hair around her finger.
Taken aback, I’m sure I remembered correctly, Italian is her favorite. As the night goes on, I find that Ivy is nothing like her letters. She’s abrasive, very blunt and more than a little forward. At one point, she leans over and touches her lips to mine. Af
ter only a moment, I pull away from her. I can’t explain it, but I have a bad feeling in my gut. Kissing her just doesn’t seem right.
At the end of the night, I pull up to the house and walk her to the door. I’m beginning to have some idea of what is happening, but I’m not one hundred percent positive.
I look at the closed door and wonder what her roommate is doing on the other side. “So, how about tomorrow night I take you and Jenny out to a dance club or something?”
She looks at me skeptically. “Jenny?”
I shrug, like I don’t have an ulterior motive. “Sure. I’ve heard so much about her in your letters. Why not?”
She seems to think about it for a minute and then says, “Sure, uh, I’m sure I can find her a date and we can double. You want to pick me up at seven?”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” I reply with a smile on my face even though the thought of someone else going out with ‘Jenny’ or ‘Ivy,’ hell, whatever her name is, about guts me.
I start to turn away, but she stops me with a hand to my shoulder right before she plasters her body to mine. “I was hoping you’d want to come in.”
“No, really, thank you, but it’s been a long day. It’s probably better if I get to the hotel,” I tell her. Honestly, I don’t have a hotel. I thought for sure I would be staying with Ivy, but I’ve changed my mind about that.
She nods her head and gets on her tiptoes, with her lips puckered. I turn my head so she kisses my cheek.
Without even looking at her again, I stride off the porch and go find a hotel. I spend the rest of the night with the picture of ‘Ivy’ in my hand.
5
Ivy
“No way, Jenny. I’m not going on a double date with you and Cooper. Forget it,” I yell at her. I was up all night crying. My eyes are almost swollen shut at this point. This is what heartache feels like. I literally feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.
“Ivy, I’ve already told him that you would. It’s fine. Get your teacher friend from school to go with you. He’s been asking you out forever.”
I drop my head down into my hands. None of this has worked out the way I thought it would. I thought for sure that I would have spent the whole night in Cooper’s arms. But it didn’t work out that way. I’m a fool. I really am. It kills me, but I have to see him again. Even if it’s only one more night, I can’t imagine never seeing him again.
Finally, I give in. “Okay, I’ll go. But Jenny, we need to have a talk. I want you to move out. I, well, you know how much I like him. The fact that you did this, are doing this, well, it makes me realize exactly how much I mean to you. I’m going to give you a week and then you need to find somewhere else to live,” I tell her frankly.
She looks at me and I can see the wicked look in her eyes. Why have I never noticed this before? She finally nods her head. “Fine, Ivy. I’m sure that I won’t have any problem finding a place to stay now,” she confesses before walking out the door.
Instantly, I imagine her and Cooper living together and I jump up from the couch and run to the trash can. Suddenly, I feel very sick.
Once I feel a little better, I call my friend Matt. He has asked me out a few times, but now we are just friends. He knows how I feel about Cooper. I have to explain to him about how he has to call me Jenny tonight and when I explain why, he calls Jenny and Cooper a few choice words.
After getting him calmed down, I go lie down on my bed. I’m so thankful that it is Christmas break from school. I couldn’t imagine going to work after all this.
Cooper
When I arrive at Ivy’s house, I’m surprised that ‘Jenny’ isn’t there.
‘Ivy’ already has her jacket on and is dressed in another provocative outfit. When I ask where her roommate is, she tells me, “Her and Matt are meeting us at the club.”
My fists clench at my side. Already, my night is not working out like I had hoped.
I usher her out the door and when she gets into the car, I ask her, “What kind of perfume is that?”
“Oh, it’s called Crimson. I’ve wore it forever. Do you like it?” she gushes at me.
I try to keep my face emotionless when I shrug and pull out of the driveway. She doesn’t even notice. She starts talking about her day and I don’t have to say anything the whole way to the club. Her scent fills the car and I crack my window to clear out the smell a little bit. Honestly, the ‘Ivy’ that I know, the one from her letters, has a soft, sweet smell, almost like peaches and sugar. It’s definitely not what I’m smelling right now.
When we get to the club, I walk her inside and we spot ‘Jenny’ and her date at a table in the corner. Even with the darker room, my gaze is instantly drawn to her. I arrange it so that ‘Ivy’ is across from ‘Jenny’s’ date and I’m across from ‘Jenny.’ I want to make sure she stays in my line of sight.
She will barely look at me, even in the low lights. Her face is flushed. Her deep green eyes are sparkling, but they are swollen looking. If you look closely, you can see a sadness in their depths. I hold my hand out to Matt and shake his, squeezing it tightly. He’s looking at me with anger and I return the look at him.
There’s something going on with Ivy and Jenny. They aren’t even looking at each other.
“So, uh, Jenny, how’s the job hunt going?” I ask with my eyes focused on her.
She looks across the table at me and I swear I feel my dick twitch. She looks over at ‘Ivy’ and then back at me. “Good. I’m actually moving out next week. Ivy has been so good to me – ya’ know, supporting me all these years – it’s time I got my shit together.”
When I look over at ‘Ivy’ she has shed her jacket and she has a tank top on and there is a tattoo on her shoulder. I grind my teeth together. Unless it was all a lie, my Ivy doesn’t have any tattoos.
We order a few drinks and ‘Ivy’ keeps trying to get me to dance but I turn her down.
“We should have went somewhere else. I hate country music,” she comments before getting up and telling us she’s going to request the DJ change it up a little.
She walks away, but I don’t take my eyes off ‘Jenny.’ “That’s weird, I swear in her letters she said she loves country music.”
Her eyes widen and Matt leans across, putting his arm around her shoulder and whispers in her ear. I can see the guilt in her face. Instantly, she jumps up and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. I hesitate for only seconds before I get up from the table. Matt starts to get up, but I stare him down and tell him not to move.
I stalk after Ivy, the real Ivy, and I reach her right before she walks into the bathroom. Tugging her arm, I turn her around and lean her against the wall. I muscle my body against her until I can feel every inch of her pressed against me.
I lean down and inhale the side of her neck and her hair. “You smell just like your letters.” I take a few deep breaths to try and calm myself. “I’m too old for these games. Why are you and your friend playing with me?”
She gasps as her hips flex against mine. Hell, just being this close to her my cock is hard and I’m poking against her hip. She doesn’t answer me.
I lean my head against the side of her face. We are right next to the dance floor and the music is loud. I want to make sure she hears me. “I thought we had something. I thought I meant something to you. What happened? Did you meet Matt and decide you wanted to throw away the last year with me?”
Her eyes are wide and I can feel her body tremble against me. “Fuck it,” I say before I bend down and devour her mouth with mine. I give everything I have with that one kiss. It’s the only way I can convey everything I’m feeling right now. Damn, I love her, and her lips against mine are even better than I ever imagined. When I pull away from her, we are both gasping for breath. She’s still quiet; nothing to say. I feel no guilt, because I know that I just kissed my Ivy. I tip her chin up and lean in to whisper into her ear. “We could’ve been good together.”
I release her then and I do the hardest thing I’ve
ever had to do in my life. Harder than all the killing that I’ve done, harder than being away from my family for so many years, hell, harder than burying my best friend. I turn and walk away from her.
6
Ivy
I collapse onto the dirty floor of the club. My whole body is heaving from the sobs I just can’t stop. What have I done? I ask myself over and over. When I feel someone crouch down in front of me, I lift my face, hopeful that Cooper came back.
“Are you okay, Ivy?” Matt asks me.
I try and wipe the tears off my face. “Yes.”
He eyes me for a minute. “He knows that you’re Ivy, doesn’t he?”
I nod my head, still unable to catch a breath and form a complete sentence.
Suddenly, it hits me. It’s like I’ve been in shock, but the words he whispered in my ear, We could’ve been good together echo through my mind. He did think it was me writing him. He did think it was me that was beautiful in the picture I sent him. But because of the switch that Jenny did, oh my God, what have I done? I jump up off the floor.
I start jogging toward the door, fighting through the crowd. I call over my shoulder, “I have to go, Matt. I’m sorry.”
Once I get outside, I realize I don’t have my car or know where I’m going. Fuck.
I click on my phone for an Uber and then I send Cooper a text.
Please. Please let me explain. Where are you? I’ll come to you.
Staring at my phone, I wait for a text back. I see the little bubbles like he might be typing something, but then they disappear.
Groaning, I text him again.
I promise it’s not what you think. Give me five minutes. Then you’ll never have to see me again. But I need to explain.
