Add to that, I want to make sure I’m emotionally stable when I have my conversation with Leo. I need to be in control of myself, and I know enough to avoid the situation, for now.
Otherwise, Leo will be able to steamroll me—including ordering me to quit, if he feels like it—and I can’t do that.
Elliot needs me. We’ve built a rapport.
Fuck, it’s what Leo wanted from the start, right? So that’s what we’re doing.
Maybe not in the way Leo intended for it to happen, but bitches in hell want cold water, too.
They’re not the only thirsty ones.
* * * *
I’ve spent most of the morning successfully avoiding Leo when Kev summons me to his office and has me close the door.
“Yes, sir?”
No, I don’t miss the irony, here. Trust me.
He rounds his desk and motions for me to follow him through the other door, which leads to a smaller office his deputy usually occupies. That man’s out for the rest of the day.
Kev points at one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Park yourself there, please. Do not move, do not speak. Not until I come back for you. I want you to listen.”
“To what?”
The intercom buzzes on his phone in his office. “You’ll see.” He pulls the door mostly shut, but I realize whoever he’s about to bring into his office won’t be able to see me from where I’m sitting.
“Yes,” he says to his phone.
“Leo’s here to see you,” his administrative assistant announces over the intercom.
“Thanks. Send him in.”
My heart slams in my chest as I hear Kev’s office door open.
“Leo, thanks for coming. Close it, please.”
I hear the door close. “What’s this about?”
“Sit.” There’s a pause before Kev speaks again. “I want to talk about yesterday.”
“Yesterday?”
“Don’t play coy with me. What’d I walk in on upstairs? Between you and Jordan. What the hell was that?”
Leo doesn’t answer, at first. “I wasn’t expecting to see Jordan yesterday. I didn’t know he was back. It took me by surprise.”
“And you were playing some juvenile keep-away game with his phone…why?”
“I just wanted to talk to him. I wanted him to follow me to my office to talk.”
“He’s Elliot’s body man, Leo. He’s a friend of the First Family. No amount of history between the two of you gives you the right to do something like that to him here of all places.”
I hear Leo take a deep breath. “He’s not talking to me.”
“That’s not my problem.” Kev’s voice gentles. “You can talk about it with me. Or Chris, even. You know we’ll do anything for you.”
No response, but I can imagine Leo shaking his head.
Kev sighs. “All right. Fine.” His voice shifts from friend into the take-no-prisoners chief of staff tone I’ve heard Kev use on others countless times before. “Look, I’m not getting in the middle of your personal business, but you need to understand something. Regardless of what your relationship with Jordan was, or is, the truth now is that he is your professional equal. Your coworker. He is the personal assistant to the vice president of the United States. In that realm, and in that capacity, you cannot and will not order him around.”
Kev sounds serious and I’m sure I’m blanching.
He’s also not done. “Are you going to be able to work with Jordan? Because, here’s another truth—maybe you serve at the pleasure of the president of the United States, but you work for me. And I don’t have to tell you why that is, because you damn well know why. If this will be a problem, then maybe I need to make some personnel changes, and I don’t mean asking Elliot to fire Jordan.”
Kev pauses. “So, whatever has to happen between the two of you needs to happen privately, and there will be absolutely no repeats of what happened yesterday. Understand me?”
I don’t hear a response, so I’m assuming Leo nods.
Kev’s voice grows steely and sharp in a way I’ve never heard him speak before. Not to Leo, anyway.
Totally Dom tone. “Will. This. Be. A. Problem?”
I reach down and squeeze myself in an attempt to keep my cock from going full-on hard, because it’s sexy as fuck listening to Kev talk like that.
No, Kev’s not my Dom, but I’m a thirsty fucking bitch, all right?
Which is a massive part of my problem, and why I’m hesitant to let Leo back into my life full-time until I have my emotional poop in a group.
I can barely hear Leo’s soft reply. “No, sir. It won’t be a problem.”
I feel…horrible, elated, and angry, all at once. I want to run out there and shove Leo, hard, for being a dick and for sneaking into the house, following me, all of it.
And then climb him like a tree and kiss him before I drop to my knees in front of him.
But Kev told me to stay, and stay I will.
Also, this really proves my point, that I need to get my head on straight before I talk to Leo.
“If you need a friendly ear,” Kev says, his tone gentling, “I’ll be happy to meet with you tonight after work and discuss this. Talk about it all night long, if you need to. But while we’re working, this cannot be a distraction. Understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. That’s all, Leo. Dismissed.”
“Thank you, Mr. Markos.”
I hear the office door open and close again. The other door swings open seconds later.
I look up as Kev’s head appears in the opening. He looks amused. “Wow. I honestly thought you’d come jumping through the door to defend him when I went after him.”
That is close to the truth. I stand. “You told me to stay.”
“I know I did, but I went pretty damn hard on him.”
Something hits me. “You did that on purpose.”
He smirks. “Duh. Something needs to shake you two up. So when are you talking?”
“I’m still…sorting things out. I need to have a long talk with Elliot this weekend, but he’s got campaign events all day tomorrow. I won’t do this to Elliot right before he’s going to be in public.”
“Smart.” Kev sighs. “Please, try to have this talk soon, all right? Leo’s been miserable since you left. Today’s the first day I’ve seen him actually smile in months. He was so fucking snarly on the trip, I was about to send him home early.”
I feel guilty. That’s interfering with Leo’s work, which is just as bad as anything he does to interfere with mine. “Sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
“Kinda is. He was worried about me. He didn’t know where I was.”
Kev eyes me, then it sinks in. “He thought something happened to you. That’s why Elliot asked me to keep your return quiet.”
I nod. “Elliot told me it was possible Leo had installed a tracking app on my phone.”
“And you turned it off before you flew to DC?”
“In Tallahassee, yeah. I didn’t turn it back on until late last night.”
Kev smirks. “That’ll teach Leo not to be sneaky with his pet.”
“I’m not sure I’m still his pet.”
Now Kev laughs. “Oh, you’re definitely still his pet. The only question is whether or not you still want to be.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Kev’s words ring in my ears for the rest of the afternoon. I spot Leo a couple of times, from a distance, but I avoid close contact with him.
Though I’m sure there were plenty of times Leo managed to catch sight of me in close quarters, now that I know what a tricky, sneaky, stalky fucker he is. President Samuels is in the White House all day today, because she’s keeping a close eye on developments in the kidnapping of the journalists. It’s still unknown if the women are alive or not, but I know there is a secret covert ops team trying to locate and retrieve them.
To make life seem even more surreal, the president has an event at the kids’ s
chool this evening and will be attending that, at least for a couple of hours, meaning Leo will be occupied.
Also meaning Elliot and I will have time alone, uninterrupted, after we meet with campaign staff this evening before we go home. It’ll be our last meeting at the temporary space. Secret Service signed off on our first choice, and the lease paperwork was supposed to be signed this afternoon by the campaign manager.
Elliot is reluctant to have a large number of people over to the house, and I get it. He’s protective of his privacy and doesn’t want anyone inside the residence who doesn’t need to be there. The only way he will host functions there is because he can have Secret Service standing watch in the hallway upstairs, and in the doorway to his den, and keep people out of those spaces.
Now that I’m living with him, there will be absolutely no official overnight guests at the residence. Anyone will stay at Blair House. Like his parents.
That doesn’t count Leo, of course.
Stella has called me three times in the past week, whining that she wants to come over for dinner and bring a “friend” to meet Elliot.
Fortunately, Elliot’s schedule is packed because of the campaign.
At least, that’s what I tell her.
I’m pretty sure she hates me now.
Ask me if Jordan cares?
Spoiler alert—Jordan does not care.
I don’t bother checking the alarm log when we return home a little before eleven p.m. that night. It doesn’t matter when Leo was there this morning, overnight—whatever.
I need to push past that.
Now that we’re locked in, it’s time to do this. We head upstairs and after I go through our ritual of getting Elliot undressed and removing Duck, I put him on his knees on the floor and buckle his collar and wrist cuffs on him. The day collar can stay on, too.
Then I help him up and onto the bed. I strip, and then we sit cross-legged, face to face and holding hands.
No distractions.
No Leo.
Just us.
I take a deep breath and squeeze his hands. “El and Jor time.”
He nods.
“I love you.” We’ve said it to each other many times now in a variety of languages taught to us by our owner.
This time feels different. Like it’s a vow.
Elliot has this adorably bashful smile, usually accompanied by his cheeks flushing, like they are now. “I love you, too.”
“Not just as a friend. I don’t want this to end once you’re out of office. I want this for life.”
He squeezes my hands as he nods. “Me, too.”
We stare into each other’s eyes. “I will put you first in my life. I need to be first in your life, too. Not to say,” I quickly add, “that Leo can’t or won’t be part of our lives. And once you’re out of office, we can let him be Leo.
“But this is…huge. I can’t have him playing some sort of control game, and doing what he does, and running all over me when it comes to you and me. We’ll be together all the time, literally. When you win, there is no downtime until you’re out of office. Not really. We’re on 24/7/365. I can’t have him getting pissed off because I need President Woodley’s attention for a phone call, but he wants you in pet mode.”
“I know.”
“Is that going to be a problem for you?”
“No. I told him last night I need you.” I can hear how hard it is for him not to call me Sir. He keeps wanting to say it, but we’re supposed to be in equals mode right now.
We need to say this as equals.
I suck in a long, deep breath, mostly to buy me a little time. “What’d he say?”
“That whatever I need from him, he’ll give it to me.” His gaze steadily meets mine. “He wants to be part of our lives, as much as we can give him. He wants us to be happy and safe. If we’re together and taking care of each other, he said he’ll wait for us.”
“I’ll be taking care of you,” I remind him. “Your job is to take care of the country and let me take care of everything else.”
He smiles. “I know.”
“You guys basically fell in love the night you met. He and I knew each other a couple of weeks, but I think we were there well before that. You don’t think this is reckless now?”
“He fucked up. And he knows it.”
“Knowing it, saying it, and actually living by taking actions that make amends are different things.”
“I know that, and so does he.”
He sounds so confident. Not cocky—quiet assurance.
I wish I felt like that instead of…terrified.
He’s not finished. “Jor, I know you’re worried about times like yesterday. Or the night I took over for you.” He squeezes my hands. “You have to remember I’ve been through…”
His gaze drops to his stump. “A lot. I’ve…done things I wish I could wipe from my brain.”
His blue eyes focus on me again. “I nearly died. Yeah, I need what you and Leo give me for my sanity. While I’d love for you to forgive him and call him over here right now, I know you need time, and so does he. Don’t rush this because you’re worried about stress on me. If I couldn’t comfort you when you need it, I’d be a pretty shitty partner.”
“Maybe I should just push through it,” I mumble. “Embrace the suck.”
He squeezes my hands again. “No. Leo and I don’t want that. Not unless you’re ready. Can you tell me why you’re feeling like this? About him?”
I stare at our hands, our almost-matching bracelets.
I carried the one Leo gave me around in my pocket all day.
“He let me leave. Then he ignored me after I did.” Elliot doesn’t interrupt. “Which, I guess I would’ve eventually been okay with. But then I find out he all but abandoned you, too. That makes me…angry. Because it just about killed me to walk away from him. It’s like, what was the point? How can a guy eighteen years older than me be so fucking stupid?”
Elliot brings my hands to his lips and kisses both of them, then tucks them against his chest. “I’m yours,” he quietly says. “And that’s it. Whatever you choose, I support you.”
“You want him in our lives.”
“I love him, but I love you, too. And I know you won’t let me down.”
“Do you think he let you down?”
He needs a moment. “I was angry. And hurt. But then I had you, and got to talk to you about everything. I learned more about him through you, things that I never really thought about before from his point of view. Plus, he apologized. I’m not saying he’s perfect, but none of us are. I’m damn sure not. He’s been able to put up with me all these years. He also wants to do better by both of us.” He squeezes my hands. “And I want to do better by you. I wasn’t fair to you before.”
I think about the utter shock on Leo’s face yesterday morning when he walked into the SitRoom. “Do you think I got enough revenge by scaring him for several weeks? I’m joking. Sort of.”
He laughs. “I think you scared three years off his life, at least. Part of my spanking last night was for not telling him you were here.”
“That’s not fair.”
“I didn’t mind, believe me. Besides, he rewarded me, too.” His smile fades. “If you need me to tell him to back off, I will. If you want him to stay scarce and not see me until you work through it, I will. Even if you want me to stop texting with him.” He sighs. “If you tell me you can’t be with him anymore and ask me to let him go, I will do that, too. I will always have your back, Jor, because I know you’ll have mine.”
“You don’t think he’ll have your back?”
“I do, but that’s not the point. If you’re putting me first, then I put you first, too. United front.”
I’m honestly touched, and I lean in for a kiss.
And then…
Then we end up making love. For the first time, without the weight of worrying about Leo’s return hanging over my head, I realize how easy things feel between us and have from the start of this
. No awkwardness. Just…easy.
I mean, things were easy between me and Leo, but in a different way.
So many years were spent with Elliot being first by default in my relationship with Leo. It was a double-edged sword, ironically, because it was totally one-way.
Leo was his. I was Leo’s.
But Leo was never “mine.” Not the way I wished he was. I always had to share him, like it or not. It’s what I agreed to. No matter how much Leo loved me, I was always second place and always would be.
But now, Elliot is totally mine.
I feel it to my core.
Leo has to share him with me.
He’s wearing the leather collar and cuffs, but tonight feels more like equals than boy and Sir in any permutation.
We kiss and nibble and lick, exploring and letting our desire build. In only a few short weeks, Elliot’s mastered exactly how hard to bite and suck on my nipples, how lightly to stroke my abs and make me shiver, where the sensitive spots are behind my ears to brush kisses and nearly shut down my brain.
I’ve learned this tough man has a mask, a disguise as complex as my own, held even longer. He’s fourteen years older than me and yet so fragile at his core, and I don’t even mean in toxic ways. Not toxic to anyone but himself, that is. His own happiness suffers. I guess technically Leo and I suffer as well, but it’s not intentional on Elliot’s part.
He only wants to do good things with his life. I can’t imagine him sighting a target with a carbine and pulling the trigger and ending a life. Even knowing his history, it’s impossible for me to imagine this tender, gentle man being able to kill.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons he desperately needs it when Leo beats him into submission, to shut off his brain.
I come into his life in this role now able to see a much larger picture of his emotional health. It allows me to map out his buttons and press them to achieve similar goals without having to overpower him.
He wants to submit to me. Not that he doesn’t want to submit to Leo, because he does.
He’s afraid of harming me, though. He’s not afraid of harming Leo. He won’t resist me because he’s scared he’ll go too far. Even the night he took over and topped me, I sensed him holding back in ways Leo never would.
Innocent (Inequitable Trilogy Book 2) Page 37
