I can’t deal with that now.
He leans in to steal a brief kiss from me literally on his way out.
Part of me feels a little put out that I didn’t even get a hug, but I also cannot deal with that now.
We’re almost finished eating lunch when Suzanne buzzes us on the intercom. “Jordan, I have Stella Woodley for the vice president on line three.”
I reach for the phone before Elliot can. “Thank you.” If I’m with Elliot, Suzanne knows to buzz me first to let me grab the call, no matter who it is. The only exceptions outside of planned calls with dignitaries are Leo, Kev, and President Samuels. I pick up the receiver and hit the line. “Vice President Woodley’s office, Jordan Walsh speaking.”
To her credit, Stella sounds awful, subdued. “This is Stella Woodley. Is Elliot available to talk for a minute, please?”
I make sure to sound sympathetic. “Sure, let me get him for you. I’m so sorry to hear about Grace. I know how close you two were.” Obviously, I have a reason for approaching it like this.
She sniffles. “Thank you. Do…do you think it’d be possible for Elliot to attend her funeral with me? Please?”
“Of course. I will rearrange his schedule for you, once the details are finalized. Hold on just a sec, let me get him for you.” I put her on hold again and hand Elliot the receiver. He looks like he’d rather get punched in the balls than talk to her, but he takes the receiver from me and I hit the line button.
He sits back in his chair. “Hey, Stella. How you doing? I just heard…” I listen in, of course.
That Stella didn’t even give me the slightest bit of snark means she likely had no idea I’d been over to Grace’s at all in the past several weeks, much less that I was there last night.
Just before six o’clock that evening, when we’re preparing to head to campaign headquarters, my already good luck takes a turn for the even better when I receive a phone call from Detective Hart.
“Mr. Walsh, I just wanted to let you know everything checked out, and we appreciate your cooperation this morning. It won’t be necessary for you or Leo Cruz to come in and give official statements.”
I fight the urge to jump up and down and punch the air. I settle for rubbing my forehead with my free hand. “I won’t? I-I mean, I don’t mind doing it, if you need me to. I want to cooperate, if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“No, sir. Thank you, but it’s not necessary. There’s no reason to involve either of you in this any further. The building’s surveillance video clearly shows what time you left. The congresswoman texted you long after you left the building. Your cell phone pinged exactly where you said you were, at the times she texted you. No one will be served by bringing your name into this. This was nothing more than a tragic accident.”
Hello, gift horse. Keep your fucking mouth shut. “Thank you, Detective. I appreciate that.”
Yes, the thought that maybe Leo pulled some strings floats through my mind.
No, I’m not going to ask.
What, do I look stupid?
Because maybe there were strings pulled—by other people who happened to benefit from and be glad that Grace died.
If that’s the case?
I damn sure don’t want to know who they are.
Not at all.
I also don’t want Leo on their radar, if he’s not there already.
* * * *
At campaign headquarters, I pull Casey aside and, after swearing her to secrecy, I tell her exactly the same story I told the two detectives.
Her eyes widen. “Son of a bitch,” she whispers. Then, she snorts. “I know it makes me a horrible person, but I’m not unhappy she’s gone. She was already trying to make herself a pain in my ass.”
I offer her a fist and she bumps with me.
“I suppose the vice president will attend the funeral?” she asks.
“Yeah. I told Stella I’d rearrange his schedule.”
“Not that he needs it, but you realize it’ll probably mean a bump in polling for him, right? Sympathy factor?”
“I’m way ahead of you there.” Yep, I am.
I’m not a heartless human being—all evidence to the contrary not withstanding—but it is a side effect of being a political wonk, to look at all the angles.
When we eventually return to the residence that night, it’s nearly eleven. I’m still trying to process that Elliot’s no longer in danger, and neither am I, apparently.
I’ll never celebrate what I did. I’ll never be happy about it.
I’ll probably have nightmares about it for the rest of my life.
But I’d do it again to protect Elliot.
After I set the alarm, I lead him upstairs to our bedroom.
A bedroom I can’t claim is mine, with a man I can’t claim is mine.
Not publicly.
Except he is mine. In many ways, he’s far more mine than he is Leo’s. Cumulatively, I’ve spent more time with Elliot than Leo has.
I reach up to unfasten his tie and our gazes lock. What happens next is kind of a blur. He fists my tie, I grab his, and we sort of pull each other in to kiss. Some of our clothes hit the floor, he shoves his slacks down and yanks Duck and his socks and liners off, but we’re all tangled up together.
Doesn’t even slow us down.
Somehow, the two of us end up on the bed, and we’re both still wearing our glasses, shirts, and ties when I push him onto his back, lube his cock, and impale myself on him.
He feels like heaven, like he’s my salvation.
“Do it, baby,” he hoarsely says, his hands settling on my hips.
My hands close over his and squeeze. Slowly rocking, I stare into his eyes and let my brain drain away and my balls take over.
This is a gorgeous, brilliant, sweet fucking man, and he belongs to me.
No one’s ever going to take him away from me. I’ll fight for him.
I’ve already proven I’ll kill for him.
I lean in and kiss him. Then, when I brace my hands on the bed on either side of his head, he takes me by surprise and effortlessly flips me onto my back without dislodging his cock from my ass.
It’s game on.
I plunge a hand into his hair and wrap my other arm around his neck as we kiss. He tastes like forever and I shove the rest of the world out of my head for a while. He pulls my legs around his waist, and then his hands cage my head.
When this man willingly drops to his knees for me, it’s sometimes easy to forget how damned strong he is physically.
And how tightly he holds my heart and soul.
He looks down at me before his lips crash onto mine once more, raw, unbridled passion flowing between us.
Slowing his thrusts, he nips my lower lip. “Beg me for it, Jor.”
I dig my heels into his ass and arch up against him, wanting all of him inside me, and he knows it. This is part of the dance that we do, the charade. He belongs to me—willingly gave himself to me. Asked to be mine.
But he owns me, too. Even when I’m “in charge” in bed, I’m needy and greedy for him. Even more when he’s feeling his own Toppy oats, like right now.
He knows it.
“Please give it to me, El.”
A slow, sexy smile fills his face and he nips me again, sucking on my bottom lip. “You want this cock, baby?” He thrusts hard, all the way to the root, making me gasp and pulling a laugh from me.
“Oh, you fucker.” I lift my head to steal another kiss.
He shoves me back down onto the bed and unbuttons my shirt, yanking it open and helping me pull it off, along with my undershirt and tie. Then he nibbles along my jaw, down my throat, his mouth settling over my left nipple, where his tongue flicks my piercing. They're like a hotline to my cock, which jerks between us, more pre-cum flowing from me.
After they healed, I discovered my nipples were even more sensitive, to the point I’m wearing an undershirt every day, even on warm days, to give me an extra layer of protection. Otherwise, I’d be
walking around with an erection half the time.
A low, rumbling chuckle escapes him. “I was so fucking pissed when Leo brought you back from California with these.” He flicks the piercing again.
I’m nearly in subspace and it takes me a moment to process his words. “What? Why?”
He lifts his head, his blue eyes dark, midnight, the pupils big and how he always looks when he’s staking his claim on me. “Because you’re mine. That was my first thought. I was a little jealous it wasn’t me he put those on, too, but mostly I felt fucking territorial that he put something on my Sir that I can’t take off.”
He’s…absolutely serious. He’s not joking around. I’ve never heard him talk quite like this before.
Then it hits me—this is also about him finding out I went to Grace’s apartment.
I start massaging his scalp as my brain falls back into my head. “I’m yours first, El. You and me. We’re both His, but I’m yours, and you’re mine.”
He surges into me again, taking my breath away and nearly sending me over the edge. He moves to my right nipple and teases me for a few minutes before he kisses me once more. Sweet desperation drives his eager need to reclaim me. Sometimes, he’s like this immediately after I’ve been with Leo, but usually not to this extent.
Now I know exactly what my guy needs from me.
I grab his head and stare into his eyes. “Say it, El.”
His throat works as he swallows. “I’m yours,” he whispers, as if afraid he’s going to jinx us.
“Not that. That’s not what you wanted to say, and you damn well know it. Say it.”
Fierce possessive fury fills his face. “You’re mine, dammit! You’re mine, and I’m never giving you up!” His lips crash over mine, his tongue fucking my mouth as hard as his cock’s now fucking my ass.
I hold on for the ride, no longer caring if I get off this time or not. He needs to reclaim me in the only way he can: the secret marks he deliberately places on me for Leo to discover, the knowing looks he gives me when he remembers how he left part of himself inside me the night before, either like this, or because I went down on him and swallowed.
Honestly? As well as I know my closed-book guy’s psyche, I honestly missed exactly how hard it’d hit Elliot when Leo got my nipples pierced. I thought he might feel a little jealousy over the freedom I had to get it done in the first place. Because, can you imagine that TMZ headline?
KINKY VEEP PIERCINGS
Not like he’d ever again be able to take his shirt off in front of the press, or be able to wear certain kinds of shirts without the piercings being at least slightly visible.
It also gives me an idea.
Later. Right now, Elliot’s dicking me too well for me to focus on anything but the feel of his cock inside me and the friction of our bodies and his shirt against my erection. With a word, a simple gesture, I could easily flip him back into my sweet, submissive boy.
Except I don’t want to.
This is different and apart from my needs with Leo.
This is unique to me and Elliot. This is as close to true equals as we get, to our default nature with each other. Yeah, he’s a little on the dominant side like this, but that’s fine, because I’m a little on the subby side. We easily fit together, even though our neutral default outside of bed is the reverse.
This is the raw, unblemished core that we share in this thing we have. I used to feel like I orbited Leo, and he orbited Elliot, tidal locked facing him. Now, it’s like Elliot and I are a binary star, forever strung together and burning hot and bright, and Leo orbits both of us, dipping into the Goldilocks Zone from time to time.
“Promise me you didn’t so much as kiss that bitch,” he rumbles against my lips.
“I didn’t. Just talking and drinks a couple of times. I don’t even think I shook hands with her.”
I swear he growls. “I hate the thought that you were in her apartment and spent time alone with her. I hate that she got to spend time with you that I didn’t.” His hips piston against me, shoving me up the bed with every thrust and pounding into me with a fury I’ve never felt from him before.
That’s what drives me over the edge. It’s all I can do to hold on to him as my cock explodes between us, all over me and his shirt. A triumphantly evil smile curves those devastatingly handsome lips and he quits holding back. He pumps into me, throwing his head back and groaning his release, filling me before falling still.
Normally, he’d immediately drop back into my sweet boy once he’d spent his Toppy energy, but not tonight.
He kisses me again, nuzzling, nipping down to the top of my right shoulder, where he bites and sucks hard and long enough it curls my toes and starts making my cock twitch with renewed interest between us.
Fuuuuck.
He’s in rare form tonight.
I don’t have it in me, physically, mentally, or emotionally, to resist. I love this man. I love Leo with an intensity that sometimes frightens me, but my love for Elliot has stealthily permeated every cell of my body, until the quiet truth cannot be denied.
I live for Elliot.
He’s mine, but I am his. He asked to be mine. I’m the first person he’s ever given himself to wholly like this. He willingly wears my collar.
As much as he is able, with the exception of work, Elliot centers me in his life.
Not even Leo could do that. Elliot always had to come first.
My fingers dig into the backs of his shoulders as I hold on and start grinding against him. Blood flows out of my brain and straight into my cock, making him chuckle around the hunk of my shoulder currently clamped between his teeth.
Of course my body is as trained as his.
All hail operant conditioning.
He releases his bite and sits up, bracing himself on his left arm while his right hand curls around my cock and starts stroking, using my own cum as lube. His gaze roams my chest, my face, falling still as our eyes meet.
“I think,” he says, “I would literally kill anyone besides Leo who touched you. Fuck the presidency, fuck everything else. I’ve given up too much in my life. I’m not giving you up. Ever. If you ever tried to leave me, I’d send Secret Service and federal marshals after you to haul you back.”
He leans closer. “There’s nowhere in the world you could hide from me where I wouldn’t find you.”
That declaration might scare the crap out of anyone else without intimately knowing the past thirteen years of Elliot’s life to put it into its proper context.
Me?
Makes me hot.
“I’m never leaving you, El. I swear.” It’s difficult to think, much less speak, from the way he’s stroking my cock.
His next ferocious kiss feels like he’s trying to breathe his soul into my own, to completely fill me with him, to utterly possess me.
He presses his forehead against mine. “I told them that night not to take no for an answer. They were under orders from me to first try to persuade you to willingly go with them and make it look like a request, not an order. But, if they had to, they were to handcuff you and bodily drag you out of there and bring you to me.”
Oh, shit! This revelation makes my cock throb even more. “Oh!”
I see shades of Leo in his victorious smile. “The crew and Secret Service were also under orders not to knock or interrupt us once you arrived. That, short of gunshots, no matter what the hell they heard in the suite, if anyone so much as breathed on that cabin door, they were fired. That until we emerged, and either you or I took over, they were to leave us the hell alone.”
My heart does a crazy little flip in my chest. “What?”
“I didn’t hate you, Jor. I never hated you. But I lied to you that night, and I’ve lied to you and Leo ever since I met you.”
“W-what?”
“The way I treated you really was fear, not hatred. That much was true. But it was the fear that people would see through me, fear that you would walk away. Fear that Leo would lose you. Fear that y
ou wouldn’t want…me.”
I struggle to process this. “I-I don’t understand.”
His blue gaze burns with passion, hunger. “I’ve been in love with you ever since I first met you. I was so…angry at Leo for letting you leave. I thought if he had you, maybe he’d hang around long enough for me to get out of office, and he’d keep you with him. I wanted to kill Leo when you left. And then I couldn’t contact you because of how it’d look. I wasn’t even sure you’d want to talk to me, because I suspected you probably left thinking you were a strain on me. I didn’t know for sure, because Leo wouldn’t even talk about you.”
He cries, his tears falling onto my cheeks. “I hated that Chris had you working over in the East Wing and I couldn’t see you all the time. I hated that I never had more than a brief minute or two with you at work, and Leo got you all to himself nearly every night. I hated myself for knowing I couldn’t ask you to be my body man back then, because you would’ve seen the truth about me and how I felt about you. You would’ve had power over me that not even Leo had, and that terrified me. Because I knew once I said yes to you, there was no way in hell I’d ever be able to say no again.”
I want to respond, but my cock has other opinions and chooses that moment to come.
As I catch my breath, I hold Elliot’s head in my hands and stare into his eyes, fucking stunned over his admission.
“Why didn’t you tell me before? I tried to get you to take him up on his offer to use me. When I told him I was leaving, I gave him an extra week to try to persuade you to come around. Why didn’t you say anything then?”
He slowly shakes his head, just a little, not enough to dislodge my hands. “It ripped my heart out every time I had to say good-bye to Leo. When I couldn’t hold his hand in public. When I knew I had to be careful even how I looked at him in front of other people, because everyone’s got cell phones. I could never risk a candid photo leaking. It took everything I had to hold my mask in place.
“There was no way in hell I would have survived making love to you, and knowing what your body felt like, and then watching you go home with him every night and not being able to keep you for myself.
“I was used to denying myself. I could handle that. But I knew losing you after finally having you would break me in ways I couldn’t heal from if I let you in and you eventually walked away. I didn’t know if you really wanted me because you were attracted to me, or because Leo wanted you to be with me and you wanted to make him happy.
Innocent (Inequitable Trilogy Book 2) Page 60
