by Forever Redd
I finally heard a knock at the door, and I went to retrieve the food and beverage cart. “Gracias,” I stated and gave the Spanish man a small tip. We had yet to convert some cash, so all I gave him was two American dollars and sent him on his way. I set the tray up how I wanted it, and woke the soundly sleeping Jody. “Rise and shine, Daddy,” I cooed in his ear.
Jody jumped up like a madman, clearly startled and uncertain of his whereabouts. I scooted back rather quickly as that was a Jody I had never seen before and honestly it kind of startled me. But just that quick, his eyes softened and he was back.
“Good morning, ma. How did you sleep?”
Was he serious? First the tears, then the crazy, and now the regular, I wondered what he was dreaming about that had his mind so far gone. I was a little on edge, but I managed to reply.
“Great, Daddy. Any morning waking up in your arms is wonderful to me. Get yo’self together, and let’s have our first real breakfast together as man and wife.”
Jody entered the bathroom to handle his morning duties, and I did the unthinkable. I looked in his phone, which was laying by his pants in a chair in our room.
I had no idea why, I had never done that before, but I did. “Seek and ye shall find,” my grandmother’s voice rang out, but I didn’t take heed. I slid my finger across the screen and it unlocked.
He called his mom’s nurse last night, but the call log was clear other than that. I checked for inbox messages, all clear, but I also decided to check the sent folder as well. What the fuck? I was so shocked at what I read. I had to read it a few more times to make sure I read it correctly.
I wiped my now burning eyes, and reread the following message.
Jody: Tru it iz wat it iz, but plz, don’t kill my seed. Be in town by the weekend. Talk then.
I was floored. What does he mean, don’t kill my seed? I had so many thoughts running through my head right then. I didn’t know what to do. I was weak. I had to think of a plan to play it out right. If I told him I went through his phone, my loyalty would be in question. I was just going to wait it out and see what happened. Everything done in the dark would eventually come to light, and when it did I would have at least enjoyed my trip, if nothing more.
Jody stepped out of the bathroom in all his glory. He was so sexy it wasn’t even funny. It took everything I had in me not to fly off the handle. Instead, I flew right in the bathroom and emptied my stomach. Jody came in behind me, rubbed my back, and got me a cool washcloth to place on my head and my neck. I guess he was trying to cool me off, not knowing that no amount of water, or ice, could smother the flames that were burning inside me. I graciously accepted the cool cloths and wiped off.
“I’m not hungry anymore, enjoy your breakfast, baby,” I said as I prepared to brush my teeth.
“You sure, ma. You need something on your stomach to keep you and the baby healthy. At least, let me get you some crackers.”
I nodded my head, brushed my teeth, and left the bathroom in search of my panties. I didn’t even want my body exposed to his punk ass. Question my loyalty, yet you possibly fathered a baby with the next bitch? Didn’t he know that a baby should have been the least of his worries? There was some shit out there that would kill you on sight, or at least make you wish you were dead, and that nigga wanted to play with that. I couldn’t get home couldn’t get home fast enough. I wanted a full checkup, STD’s complete PAP, the whole nine.
15
Jody
I decided to walk the distance to the airport. I knew the luggage wasn’t there, but I just needed time to clear my mind and get a breath of fresh air. The call to my mom tore me up inside, and the text made it worse.
How she gon’ tell me she pregnant and then in the same breath tell me she gon’ kill my kid? I thought chicks wanted a dude that was gon’ stand up and take responsibility for his baby, but her ass tripping all because I said we couldn’t be together. I knew I shouldn’t have gave her the dick, and look at where it led. Damn, I don’t know what to do. If I go to V, I run the risk of losing her, I can’t talk to Mama. My daddy was a rolling stone his damn self, and Leon will tell Karley. I’m fucked three ways from Sunday, I thought to myself as I crossed the busy street to the airport entrance.
I bopped up to the counter with my pants hanging slightly below my ass. “Aye, ‘scuse me, but…” I was cut off by the ringing of my phone. I stepped to the side to allow other patrons to proceed before I took the call. I knew my Uncle Kerry wouldn’t be calling unless it was bad news. I felt it in the depths of my soul. I took a deep breath and exhaled.
“Unc?” I just knew the voice on the other end of that phone was going to say she had passed. He didn’t say that, but I was still saddened at the response.
“It’s lookin’ real bad nephew, real bad,” Uncle Kerry choked back tears. “She says it’s time but she can’t rest without talkin’ to you first. I told her I would call, but she insisted you came. Look nephew, I know you on your honeymoon and all but if you can make my baby sister’s final wish come true, I will send you and V back on my own dime or give you yours back.”
Uncle Kerry was breaking down, he could barely get the words out. It was gut wrenching for him to see his sister in that state. Cancer had had its way with her, and she could no longer fight. All she wanted by her side was her baby boy. “Come home, Major,” Uncle Kerry said with such authority, I had no choice but to break the news to V and head back to the States, my mama needed me.
I left the counter in haste. I didn’t care about the luggage or anything that was in those bags. I just needed my wife, her purse, and my credentials to get back into the States. I didn’t want a bullshit flight. I didn’t need a layover, and damn sure didn’t need my mama to die without seeing my face. I hauled ass back to the hotel to grab Victoria and hot tail it back to the States.
When I reached the room on the ninth floor, I rushed in waking Victoria from her nap.
“Dear God, Jody. What’s wrong?” she asked as I threw things around the room trying to get what little we had together. I tossed her the linen pants she was previously wearing and she caught them right before they hit her in the head.
“Put those on. We gotta leave now, Victoria.”
She slid on her pants and threw on her bra. I kept on the beater and got my jacket that was hanging in the small closet. I was ready to go.
“Baby, wanna tell me what’s wrong?” she asked as we exited the room.
“It’s Mama. She is on the verge of dying and she needs me right now. Uncle Kerry called when I went to the airport. She is on her way out, ma.”
*****
Victoria
We were back home and I was in survival mode at that point. I could only imagine what he was going through, but I was going to be there for him every step of the way. That text would get addressed, but right then wasn’t the time. “Let’s go,” I said as the elevator doors opened.
Jody was dropped off at the hospital so he could get to his mom’s side. I didn’t go in. She didn’t care for me too much, or so she led me to believe.
“Handle your business, baby. I will go get the car and come back for you. That way, you can spend some time with your mother alone.”
“I don’t know if I can do this. I just don’t understand what happened. Why, why is this happening, and now at that? We just got married. We are going to have a baby. What the hell, man?” Jody cried.
“I know it hurts, baby. Do you need me to go in with you now? You know I will,” I said while squeezing his hand for support.
“No, I got it. Go home and get the car and whatever you need to do. I will see you when you come back.”
“I love you.” I called to Jody’s back, but he was out of the cab and through the hospital doors in a flash.
I went on home, checked the mail, and looked through the house. I decided to take a much-needed relaxing bath. My entire world was just out of whack. That text from an unknown number, the pregnancy, jet lag, the hassle of the trip, I just nee
ded a minute of peace. I sat in that tub. I thought, and I cried. Never did I think Jody was just out there. I mean what did I do wrong? No time for those thoughts, I needed to be there for Jody. He needed me then more than ever, and I felt as his wife, it was my duty to stand by him, but at some point in time that text and that baby would be addressed.
*****
Jody
I broke down as I stood in the doorway to my mother’s room. She was breathing, barely, but she was breathing. Jackie White looked as though she had aged more than ten years in the last five days. The once vibrant and talented blues singer had finally shut down. In her day, there wasn’t a man walking that didn’t want a piece of her butterscotch center. The only one that stole her attention, and then her heart, was the slick talking handy man, Freddie White.
There was nothing and no one that could keep her from him. Since Freddie did odds and ends for a variety of people, he had come in contact with a variety of different women, and if there was one thing Freddie liked, it was variety. Sure, Jackie heard of all the dealings with other women, but her love for him was just that strong, and she couldn’t walk away.
The duo had been married for two years before they had me. The beautiful bouncing baby boy was all Jackie needed to win the competition and keep her man at home. None of those tramps bore his child, but she did, and a son at that. That is known to us as the modern day Keep a Nigga” baby. I am sure we have all heard of one, know of one, or are one.
Mama peeked through the tiny slits between her eyelids, and reached a slow hand up to the oxygen mask covering her mouth and nose. I ran to her side and grabbed her cool, damp, skeletal hand in mine. A tiny cough escaped her once full lips.
“You—came,” she spoke, barely above a whisper. I was trying to be strong, but the tears wouldn’t stop falling. That was my mom, my ace, all I ever had. “Jody?” she whispered while trying to lift her hand to stroke my head, but she was too weak.
“Mama, please don’t leave me. I don’t know if I can go on without you. You have guided me to success, and held me back from the dangers of the streets. Mama, there are so many things I want to say to you, so many things I need to tell. I have nowhere to go, Mama.” I was pouring out my soul to my mama. I was purging myself in hopes of being set free from whatever inner demons I was battling. “Mama, I am not who you think I am. I am not the man you raised me to be. I dabble in illegal stuff, nothing too serious, just a little extra income. That’s nothing I can’t quit, but I cheated on V. I can’t risk losing her, she is carrying my baby, and we just got married. I’m messing up. Without you here to guide me, I don’t know what to do.”
“Do better,” She coughed. “Go to V. Always love…” she struggled to say the little she did.
I grabbed the small Styrofoam cup from its place beside the bed and placed the straw to my mother’s parched lips.
“Don’t talk no more Mama,” I said.
When I looked up from my mother’s hospital bed, I saw a tear stricken Victoria standing in the doorway.
“V, How I...”
She silenced me by placing her hand up. I thought she must have had heard everything, but right then, it wasn’t about her, nor was it about me. I needed my mother, and my mother needed me.
“How long you been standing there V?”
Her answer was simple, “I just got here.”
I escorted Victoria to my dying mother’s bedside, and I leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. Her eyes barely opened at the kiss, “Take care of him, V. He needs you more than you know. Promise me.”
“Yes ma’am, I promise. I will never leave his side,” she cried to her. “Mrs. White, I love Jody with all my heart and I would never leave or betray him. I give you my word.” She leaned down, kissed my mother on her frail cheek, and whispered in her ear. “Thanks for accepting me into the family.”
I took Victoria into my arms and we gently rocked back and forth as I cried on her shoulder. My mom was leaving me forever and I had no idea how I would make it. No more long talks, late night conversations. My mom still cared for and treated me like a baby and I was going to miss it. When my father walked in, he too looked as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His clothes were wrinkled and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. It was breaking us down piece by piece. Mama was so weary. She had fought the battle, but cancer finally claimed her as we stood by her bedside and watched her take her final breath.
*****
Victoria
One week. It had been one week since we laid Mrs. Jackie to rest and Jody was on one. I hadn’t heard from him in two days. I called his phone over and over again to no avail. Leon said he had talked to him and everything was okay. He mentioned some shit about him needing a moment to himself. That was understandable, but he could have called and checked in on his wife and unborn child. I really needed Jody to get it together because all of that staying out didn’t sit well with me.
Jody walked through the door around noon on day number three of his absence. He looked tired, he was dirty, and clearly hadn’t had a bath the entire time he was gone.
“Jody? Jody, are you okay? Oh, my God Jody. Talk to me.”
Jody stood in the living room with his eyes fixated on a picture of his mother hanging on the wall.
“Jody,” I whispered, taking baby steps toward him. I had never seen anything like it. Had I not have known better, I would have thought he was just sleeping in the streets. Honestly, I was scared. I didn’t know if he was going to pass out or flip out. “Jody, I am going to call Leon, okay?” I asked as I picked up the phone from the wall.
“Put the phone down. Put it down!” he screamed.
I jumped a little, but I put it down as I was told. “Jody, I wanna help, baby, but I can’t do that if you won’t let me in. Let me help you, please.”
“You can’t,” he whispered.
I took a few more cautious steps toward Jody. His eyes were dilated and puffy. I could tell he had been crying. “Please, let me help.”
Jody dropped to his knees and began crying and screaming, “You can’t help me. All the help I even had is gone. I want her back, I want her back!”
I couldn’t control the tears as they poured from my eyes. It was killing me to see him in that state. I watched him until I couldn’t watch any more. I got down on my knees with my husband and placed my hand on his shoulder. When he looked from my hand to my face, it was like he was just then recognizing who I was. He fell into me so hard, I fell back against the couch, but he wouldn’t let me go.
“Hold me, Vic. It hurts so bad,” he cried.
“It’s okay. I got you. Get it out, baby. Get it out.”
Jody finally stopped crying and I was able to get to the bathroom and run him a bath. I convinced him to get in the tub and I bathed him as I would a newborn baby. I shampooed his locks and cleaned him from head to toe. I helped him into his pajamas and into the bed where he tossed and turned all night. Strangest thing, the next day, he didn’t remember any of it and carried on like it was a normal day.
16
Victoria
From that point on, Jody was in and out. Sometimes up, sometimes down, and I got that. You only get one mother. One that allows you to travel her canal into the world, and gives you life. Now, there I was heading to the doctor for the visit I had to postpone due to the unexpected everything. I was only two weeks behind the appointment date, so it shouldn’t make too much of a difference. I had to wait to get an appointment due to getting everything situated with the wedding, the botched honeymoon, and Mrs. Jackie’s death.
The all-white walls, freezing cold temperature, and the smell of the sterile environment always made me nervous, but this time, I had my husband by my side. Dr. Rochelle Hutchinson was my OB-GYN. I had been going to her for years.
I made the introductions between her and Jody. “Very nice to meet you,” she said with a thick African accent. She looked over my chart with a few mmm hmm’s. “Okay, Victoria, I have good news and
bad news. Which would you prefer first?”
“Take your pick, we all know why we are here,” I said, slightly annoyed at her wanting to play guessing games.
“Of course, I apologize, but I get so excited telling new parents they are going to be parents. That’s the good news. The bad news isn’t all bad. Your blood pressure is slightly elevated, and you are a little dehydrated. That of course can be corrected with proper rest and diet. Next, we need to take a peek at your belly and see if we can find a heartbeat and some measurements. This way, we can determine a due date since some of us can’t remember the last day of our cycles,” Dr. Livingston said with a wink.
Jody took my hand and kissed the back as I lifted my shirt to expose my belly for the cold gel to be squirted on it. I took a deep breath and prayed. “Please let everything be okay. Amen.”
Doctor Livingston rolled the instrument being used for the sonogram all around my tummy until she found the baby’s heartbeat. She informed us the pulsating we heard was the baby’s heartbeat. I was amazed already. I knew it would be too soon to tell the sex, but I wanted to know. Definitely somebody in there, but who.
I looked up to see if Jody was paying attention, and he was doing more than that. Jody was actually crying. He squeezed my hand tighter and lowered his forehead to mine. “Listen to him, ma, that’s our baby right there. Ours, and no one else’s. We got something no one else in the world can ever have. We created that, ma.” Jody was more emotional than I was. I dabbed at the moisture that had collected at the corner of my eye. Everything he was saying was true. That was our miracle, our future, our new life.
