"Umm, I have a couple, but on this floor I like my old playroom."
"Come on," Ryan suggested as she held out her hand. "Show it to me."
"Ummm…" Jamie held back, hesitation evident in her face. "Do you want to um…in there?" she asked quietly.
Ryan beamed a gentle smile and assured her, "I just want to regroup a little, Honey. Let’s take this slow."
A quick nod showed that Jamie agreed completely, and she gripped Ryan’s hand and led her down the hall.
As they walked along the thickly carpeted hallway in their bare feet, Ryan wondered about the need for a quiet, only child to have a "playroom". The O’Flaherty children could have really used a place to keep the toys and games that littered every square inch of their tiny house when they were small, but she couldn’t imagine what went on in the playroom of Jamie’s house.
At the end of the rather long hallway, they came to an exceptionally sunny room that looked more like a solarium than a playroom. The rear wall was nearly all glass, allowing a stunning view of the ocean. As Ryan looked up she saw that the majority of the sunlight came in through the narrow skylights that ringed the chamfered ceiling. The room was so big that there were 20 of them, each about three feet long by a foot wide. They allowed a great deal of light to enter but, since they were at the edge of the room, the early afternoon sun did not shine directly on them. "Boy, this must be a great place to curl up with a book on a winter afternoon," Ryan mused as she surveyed the wall of books that flanked an attractive fireplace.
"Yeah, it really is. Mother had this converted to a sun room/library combo when I was in high school. It’s one of my favorite places down here. I used it as a study room." Ryan looked around and noticed a beautiful writing desk set on an angle in the corner of the room. The very comfortable looking upholstered chair that was snugged up under the table was obviously an office chair, now that she looked closely at the casters on the bottom. A laptop computer sat on the desk and Ryan had a vision of her young lover sitting at the desk, working on some term paper for school.
"Very nice setup," she approved as Jamie showed her the printer and other various office supplies hidden in the armoire just behind the desk.
"Mother uses this as her office now," Jamie commented. Ryan couldn’t for the life of her figure out why a woman who did not work outside the home needed an office at her weekend getaway, but she didn’t think now was the time to ask.
As Ryan walked around to the front of the table, she noticed one solitary ornament besides the pencil holder--a beautifully framed picture of Jamie as a baby, no more than Caitlin’s age. She was wearing a little navy blue dress covered by a white eyelet pinafore, and she was gazing up at the photographer with the calm, interested gaze that she so often gave Ryan when she was trying to understand something. "God, this is precious." Ryan stroked baby Jamie’s face through the glass as she held the frame in her hand.
Jamie chuckled at the tone of her partner’s voice. "I’ve got a million of ‘em if you want to look at pictures," she said lightly.
"No, there’s something about this one that just captures you," she mused. "You hardly look any different than you do now. I’ve seen that look a thousand times."
"Hmm," Jamie speculated as she looked around Ryan’s shoulder to view the photo. "I don’t think I’ve seen that one before. Mother must have dug it out when she redecorated last."
Ryan placed the picture on the desk and looked around again. The room was mostly unstructured and was clearly meant to be a place to relax and read or contemplate, rather than entertain. There wasn’t much furniture, just a pair of upholstered wing chairs that flanked the fireplace and a large, wide fainting couch in a delicate looking cream colored silk that faced the wide expanse of glass.
Taking Jamie by the hand, the larger woman led her to the couch and sat down. "We can use the furniture, can’t we?" she asked a little tentatively.
"Well, sure," Jamie agreed as she flopped down beside her, puzzled that Ryan would ask such a question.
"Wow, this is awfully comfortable." Ryan bounced a little on the piece.
"Yeah, one of mother’s many indulgences," she scoffed. "This bottom cushion is made like an innerspring mattress and covered with down. And the back cushions are all down."
"Wow, I always wanted a down pillow," Ryan said rather wistfully. "Sar…my…ahh…best friend in high school had down pillows on her bed, and they just seemed so luxurious." Ryan mentally slapped herself for almost bringing up Sara’s name. The last thing she wanted was to dredge up those painful old memories, and she was sure that Jamie didn’t want the past to intrude on their honeymoon.
Jamie was struck by her partner’s wistful expression, and she briefly considered the disparity in their upbringings. "All of this stuff doesn’t bother you, does it?" she asked, gently placing a hand on Ryan’s knee.
"Huh uh, not at all," the dark head shook decisively. "It’s kinda like being in a really elegant hotel. I mean, I know it’s kinda your house, but it’s not really yours, so I can just observe rather than feel overwhelmed."
"I think I understand," Jamie agreed, as she leaned against the gracefully curved back of the couch. "It would probably bother you if my house in Berkeley was like this, and we were gonna live there, but since this is my parents' place you can be a little bit removed."
"Exactly." Ryan tossed her head back against the squooshy pillows. Sticking her arm out, she motioned for Jamie to curl up against her. "Come here, Sweetness," she demanded.
Only too happy to comply, Jamie cuddled up against her side. "Umm, better than down," she muttered as she rested her head upon Ryan’s chest.
"And hypo-allergenic," she supplied with a chuckle.
"Mmm, I don’t know about that," Jamie mused. "I think I had an adverse reaction in the bedroom."
"Hey, don’t give it another thought," Ryan insisted. "We’ve got the entire week to get comfortable with each other. There’s no rush, Jamie. I really mean that."
"Really?" she asked, in a most fragile, childlike voice.
"Honey," Ryan soothed, trailing her fingers through her soft hair. "If we go back to the city on Saturday having done nothing more erotic than this, it will be completely okay with me." Well, that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told her. But after going so slow these past weeks I’m not going to blow it now! "I want you to go as slowly as you need to, Jamie. I figure we’ve got a good 60 years ahead of us. That’s 3,120 weeks. What’s the big deal about spending a few of them getting to know each other?" Please make it not take weeks, she silently begged.
A delighted smile beamed up at Ryan as she said these words. "Do you really mean that?" Jamie asked shyly.
"Of course I do! I’m here for you, Jamie. To love, honor, and cherish you. I wouldn’t dream of rushing you into anything you didn’t feel comfortable with." As she said that, Ryan realized that she meant every word. As much as she wanted to consume the woman in her arms, she realized that their emotional connection and the trust they shared were the most important elements of their relationship.
"I love you, Ryan," Jamie whispered. "It’s so wonderful how you constantly show how much you love me." She pulled the dark head down and spent several minutes kissing the soft pink lips.
"This is enough for me," Ryan murmured into her clean, floral scented hair. "To hold you and kiss you just makes me so happy." She gave her a strong squeeze as she felt her heart fill with the emotion that often overwhelmed her when she considered the love she felt for her partner.
"I…I don’t know why I got so scared before," Jamie muttered in confusion. "I know you so well, Ryan, and I’ve touched you so many times. Why do you think it bothered me?"
Ryan considered the question carefully before she answered. She ran her fingers through her partner’s golden hair as she thought, but she finally postulated, "I think we were forcing it a little."
"Forcing?"
"Yeah. Normally we start out kinda slow and let our emotions and our hormones take us where
they may. Today it seemed like we came here for the purpose of making love, and I think the pressure got to be too much for you. I think we just have a little honeymoon anxiety."
"We?" she asked uncertainly, having seen no evidence of anxiety from her partner.
"Sure," Ryan said easily. "I was a little freaked too, Hon. This is your first time with a woman, but it’s my first time with you." Glittering blue eyes that held just a little mirth looked down at Jamie, and for the thousandth time she thanked God for the precious gift of this wonderful woman.
A heavy, contented sigh left the small woman’s lips. She was feeling much better, but she wasn’t sure how to get past the confusion that had befuddled her. "How do…we…get through our discomfort, Honey?" She knew that Ryan was toying with her a little bit, but she was grateful for the note of levity.
"Don’t worry about it, Babe. It’s not a race. If we just act naturally, it will happen. Let’s not make it our destination," she offered. "If our bodies lead us there, it’s fine. Try not to put pressure on yourself to go there if you’re not ready."
"Okay." She lay her head back down on Ryan’s chest. "I’ll chill out a little." Looking at her watch she said, "It’s nearly two. Don’t you need some lunch?"
Ryan pursed her lips together, appearing to consider the idea. "I could eat," she finally conceded.
"There’s a news flash," her partner teased as she got up and pulled her perennially hungry partner with her. "Let’s get a little something in that tummy." As they walked back down the hall, Jamie suggested a division of tasks. "If you bring in the bags, I’ll make you a sandwich."
"Is there stuff here?" Ryan asked, wrinkling her brow.
"Yep. I’ll make some lunch, and we can eat on the patio."
When Ryan returned from lugging their bags upstairs, she noticed that the huge wooden doors in the living room were wide open, the ocean breeze causing the heavy drapes to flutter. She poked her head out and saw her lover sitting at a rectangular glass topped table that could easily seat ten. The table and the matching chairs were a natural wrought iron with tan and cream striped cushions covering the seats. Several lounge chairs and chaises were placed around the granite patio, all covered with the same fabric. The patio faced the ocean, but the three-foot-tall, dry-stacked stone wall that surrounded the space was topped by equally tall Plexiglas panels that effectively blocked the near-constant wind. Jamie had set the table with placemats and linen napkins and was sipping a glass of lemonade, looking out at the ocean, when Ryan arrived.
"You really look like you belong here," the dark woman mused, as she appraised her lover in her native habitat.
"Umm, is that a compliment?"
"No, but it’s not a criticism either," Ryan assured her as she pulled out a chair and sat down. "It’s just an observation. I just meant that you seem comfortable and self-assured in this setting."
"Well," she said thoughtfully. "I’ve spent a lot of time here, and I do feel comfortable. I actually feel more comfortable here than I do at my parents' home," she admitted. "When we were down here we acted more like a family, so it guess it feels more like home."
"What exactly do you mean?" Ryan asked, not sure why the change of locales would affect the family dynamics.
"Well, we were usually all together here. Daddy couldn’t go to the office, and he almost never brought clients down. Mother was away from her friends and activities, so they both paid some attention to me," she said softly. "We’d play golf or just hang out. It was nice."
Ryan felt the stab of anger that often overwhelmed her when her lover talked about her childhood. Jamie had such a sad and wistful expression on her face that she just wanted to hold her and make all of those lonely days disappear. Still, she knew that even though her wish was genuine, there was nothing that she could do to make the old pain go away. All that she could do was help prevent her lover from ever having another lonely day.
They ate their turkey sandwiches in a companionable silence. The brisk wind and the still warm sun made Ryan’s appetite greater than usual and, after a few puppy dog looks, her partner went back into the kitchen and emerged with another complete lunch. Jamie sat and watched her demolish the second sandwich, hands laced together with her chin resting upon them, grinning the entire time. "I gotta put that weight back on," Ryan smiled, as she gobbled down another forkful of creamy coleslaw.
"Umm-hmm," her lover agreed with a smirk.
When the second entrée was finished, Jamie went into the kitchen once again and returned with a plate of huge, dense cookies. "What are these?" Ryan asked as she took a big bite.
"Snickerdoodles," she informed her. "Chocolate chips, walnuts, and caramel in a Toll House base."
"Wow," she drawled, nearly swooning with pleasure. "These are fannnnn-tastic."
"Thought you might like them." Jamie smiled as she ate just one of the treats. Ryan didn’t disappoint, consuming the other three cookies in short order.
"Anything you wanna do this afternoon?" Jamie asked as Ryan leaned back in her chair, looking very satisfied.
"Hmm, not really. I feel like just lazing around a little bit. That chaise lounge looks pretty good right now." Ryan indicated a wide chaise resting under a big umbrella made of the same fabric as the chairs.
"Let’s do it," Jamie agreed, taking her hand.
Part 4
Both women were still emotionally and physically exhausted from their strenuous week and they were nearly unconscious by the time their heads hit the cushion of the chaise. Even though the breeze was brisk, the glass barrier kept most of the wind at bay, and the filtered sun streaming through the umbrella proved to be a very effective sedative.
Waves crashing on the shore and the snapping of the fabric on the umbrella were the only noises that serenaded them, and the stillness allowed them to sleep for nearly an hour. They had reclined the chaise fully so they could cuddle, and when Ryan’s eyes lazily blinked open, she had to crane her neck sharply to see what was going on under her shirt.
During their nap, Jamie’s hand had wandered beneath the black linen, and her delicate fingers were splayed across Ryan’s now firm nipple. Even though the larger woman had decided that she did not mind waiting for sex, she had not convinced her body of that fact, as a persistent throbbing between her legs reminded her.
She reached down and was about to remove her partner’s hand when a sleep-roughened voice protested. "I like it there," Jamie murmured, as she leaned a little harder against her partner’s warm side. "Do you mind?"
"I like it there, too." Ryan turned her head to kiss the golden locks.
"Kiss me," Jamie begged, her voice a little rough with desire.
Ryan complied, spending several minutes thoroughly tasting her partner’s mouth. She didn’t try to escalate the contact, though, deciding to let Jamie move on if she wanted to.
The next instruction was clearer, more demanding. "Kiss me like you want me," she breathed softly into Ryan’s ear.
"I do want you," Ryan murmured, her eyes half lidded with her own rising desire. "I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman." She slowly dipped her head and let her mouth and tongue communicate the rest of her thoughts. They kissed slowly and softly, unhurried in their passion. After endless minutes had passed, Ryan lifted her head and gazed deeply into Jamie’s eyes. A small smile curled just the corner of her mouth as she began her exploration once again. The response from her partner was immediate and unequivocal. Soft, breathless moans escaped from her throat, each one more erotic than the last. Few things turned Ryan on more than hearing the effect her touch had on her lover, but today the sounds were positively incendiary.
Trying to control herself, she paused again, pulling her head up just enough to be able to focus. The look of wanton desire on her partner’s face caused her to abandon her control and dive right back into the conflagration. This time her mouth started at her lover’s eyes. Her warm tongue delicately licked at the achingly soft skin of her lids, pausing to tickle the dark
blonde lashes. Her mouth followed the curve of her brow and slid up to her hairline, offering an incredibly soft touch all along the fine, nearly white blonde hairs. Perfectly shaped ears were next and they were treated to the same intense examination.
Ryan had learned that Jamie’s ears were incredibly sensitive, and that knowledge increased her enjoyment of the exploration. Her partner didn’t disappoint, gasping in delight as she felt the warmth of Ryan’s breath tickle the side of her neck. Ryan’s tongue languidly traced each indentation and depression, each ridge and hollow, breathing into the sensitive organ in time with her rapidly escalating pulse. Fine soft hairs covered the lobe, so tiny as to be nearly microscopic, but Ryan wanted—needed--to know each of them. She sucked the tender flesh into her mouth, running her tongue over it lovingly. Pausing to catch her breath, she lifted her head and again locked eyes with her lover. Matching smiles formed as each pair of eyes trailed down to gaze at soft, moist lips.
The beckoning of those lips proved too much for the dark haired woman, and she returned to them again, this time intent on exploring each millimeter of skin. She started at the corner of the mouth, licking at the juncture of her lips with just the tip of her tongue. Jamie sensed that Ryan needed to explore her without interruption, so she willed her own lips to be still. Savoring the sensation was harder than she would have thought, however. Her mouth desperately wanted to consume her partner, but she controlled her body, even though she had no control over her groans of pleasure or the wild beating of her heart. Those beautiful deep pink lips moved along her mouth at a painfully deliberate pace. Ryan's tongue and lips lovingly investigated each little portion of the coral tinted skin. As each segment was sucked into her mouth, Ryan greeted it with a warm, sensual tongue bath that was quickly driving Jamie absolutely mad.
Coalescence - SF3 Page 8
