by Brie Paisley
Letting my eyes roam around the room, I say a little goodbye to the room and let out another sigh knowing it’s going to take me a while to pack up all my clothes. My head begins to pound, and I push myself off the door deciding to take a long and hot shower. My heart literally hurts knowing if I don’t have a job or a place to stay, I have to go back home. The thought of leaving without finding out who my birth mother is leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. Or that could be from last night’s fun gone wrong. My eyes begin to fill with tears, but I blink them away as I turn on the shower. There’s no one to blame but me, and I think that’s what makes it worse. I did this. I ended this trip with my stupid mistakes.
I just don’t know if I can go back home without knowing who Tammy Richards is and why she gave me away. This is probably for the best. Why would Tammy want to see me anyway? I’ve fallen so far into this hole of despair, and honestly I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t ever want to see me. I mean look at me. No job, no money, and I just got evicted. Way to go, Savannah.
Pushing my depressing thoughts out of my mind, I quickly shower. Once I’m finished, I step out and dry off. I don’t even bother with drying my hair and decide to just pile it on top of my head. After brushing the dirty taste in my mouth away, I find better and less dirty clothes to wear. Mom would be embarrassed if she saw how I’ve been living. It does make me smile knowing I’ll see her again. Even if this trip was pointless, I miss my parents a lot more than I thought I would. “At least I tried,” I say to myself as I grab my suitcase. Setting it on the bed, I begin to toss my clothes inside. Ignoring how much my head is pounding, I grab another handful of my things and right before I drop them inside the suitcase, I spot a note under two pills next to a glass of water on the bedside table. Letting the clothes fall out of my grasp, I quickly inspect the note because in a way, I already know who left it. And my stomach drops as I see the messy handwriting, and who signed it at the bottom.
Sassy Savannah,
You’re a wild child at heart. As much as I would love to stay all night and watch you sleep, I have a job to return to. Please take the pills. I’m sure you’ll have a killer of a hangover.
C.
P.S. We’re still havin’ that talk whether or not you remember what happened tonight.
Letting my head fall back for a moment, I curse out loud. This can only mean he was in my room last night, and I don’t remember what happened. It’s just bunch of blurry images and I really, really, really, hope I didn’t do something stupid like sleep with him. Having drunk sex with him would so be a bad idea. However sober sex with Caden … now that I can only dream about.
Wait.
I’ve already done that. Well sort of anyway.
Trying not to think too much of his promise of talking, I set the note back down and pick up the two white pills. Quickly washing them down with the water he left for me, I ignore the fact my stomach feels like it’s in knots. The thought of leaving Caden behind bothers me, and it’s something I don’t want to think about. So I do what I do best and lock it away in a box.
But the thing about boxes, they’re not really reliable. All it takes is one little thing, and it’s destroyed. Which is exactly what happens when someone knocks on the door again. Thinking it’s Mr. Chang again, I don’t hesitate to open the door.
When our gazes lock, that stupid box goes up in fucking flames.
“What are you doing here?” she asks quietly.
“I told you last night, small fry. I’m here to have that talk.”
Her eyes dart away as her cheeks turn to crimson. Does she remember how she tried to jump my bones last night? Not that I’m complaining. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“But I come bearin’ gifts and the cure for a hangover,” I claim before she can shut the door on me. Holding up the bag of greasy fast food and coffee, she glances at it for a moment. Shaking the bag of food, I grin widely. “You know you want this greasy biscuit and warm coffee.”
“Fine. You can come in.” Not taking a chance that she’ll change her mind, I don’t waste a second before getting my ass in her room.
Which by the way, looks a lot cleaner than last night. My eyes spot her suitcase on the bed, and I try to keep my voice neutral as I ask, “Goin’ somewhere, small fry?”
Handing her the breakfast I picked up, she takes a drink of the coffee before answering me. “Yeah. I got evicted earlier.”
“Mr. Miyagi kicked you out?” Pretending I’m fine isn’t as easy as people make it out to be. If she doesn’t have anywhere to stay, will she leave?
“Mr. Chang,” she clarifies, “stopped by a little while ago saying some bullshit about me making the other customers unhappy. Said I was too loud.”
Watching her as she sits down on the bed, she opens the bag of food and begins to eat. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you were disturbin’ the peace. Which is why I got called to the scene.”
She slowly chews then swallows as if she’s thinking about what happened last night. “Speaking of that, did we … um …” I do find it amusing how her blush returns, and the fact she can’t seem to get out what she wants to ask. I could be a nice guy and put her out of her misery, but I’m secretly enjoying this. She takes a deep breath and glances up at me. “Did we have sex?”
“Define sex.” Now I’m just fucking with her.
Her eyes widen as she snaps, “I believe you know what sex means, Caden. Did we or did we not have sex?”
Trying not let my grin show, I wait a few beats before answering her. “Why would you think we had sex?”
“Because I woke up naked and I don’t remember, okay? I don’t remember.” She lets out a long sigh, and I start to feel like a real asshole. “It’s just,” she starts, and I walk over to her. Bending down in front of her, she says, “I don’t let myself get that out of control very often, and I don’t like when I can’t remember what happened the next day. I know it’s not a good idea to smoke weed and drink, but there haven’t been many times when I don’t remember what happens the next day. It makes me feel uneasy.” Her eyes penetrate mine as she adds, “I usually smoke just to relax and when I’m stressed, and I don’t do it all the time. Just to take my mind off things.”
Shocked she actually opened up so willingly, I place my hand over hers on the bed. Her eyes meet mine, and I decide maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to mess with her. “We didn’t have sex, Savannah.” The relief in her eyes hurts my ego more than I thought it would. “It wasn’t for your lack of tryin’ though.”
“You’re lying,” she quickly says, but I can see the smile trying to show.
“I never lie. Especially not about somethin’ like that. You couldn’t keep your hands off me. Practically molested me.”
“I did not! Now you’re just messing with me.”
“You did so. I mean who can blame you. I am hot.”
She rolls her eyes at me, but I’m glad her smile is back. “You’re so full of yourself aren’t you?”
“I can’t help that you wanted me, small fry.”
“Then explain how I ended up naked?”
“Well,” I begin as I raise my eyebrows. “You did that all on your own.” With her wide eyes staring at me, I quickly add, “I promise I didn’t see anything. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to take a peek at those curves, but I couldn’t do that to you.”
“That’s … kind of sweet of you.” Her eyes don’t leave mine as we sit in silence for a while, and I’m surprised she hasn’t moved away from my touch either. Not that I want her to. But just as soon as I begin to revel in our moment, she shakes her head and pulls away as she stands. “I should finish packing before Mr. Chang comes back and yells at me some more.”
“He can be a bit extreme.” She nods and goes back to packing, her breakfast long forgotten. The more I watch her pack her things, the more I wonder if she’s going to leave for good. The thought of never seeing her again makes my hands begin to sweat, and my heart starts thumping like a fr
eaking jackhammer in my chest. “Are you movin’ to another hotel?” I hope my question sounds casual like I’m just making polite conversation, when I really need to know what she plans to do.
She doesn’t stop tossing clothes in her overflowing suitcase as she says, “Well considering I don’t have a job anymore, I can’t exactly pay for a hotel. And there’s no reason for me to stay.”
Before even giving it a second thought, I blurt out, “Move in with me then.”
She snaps her head to me and narrows her eyes. “Move in with you? Why would I do that?”
Because you’re my one, and I can’t bear to see you leave. “Don’t think of it as movin’ in that was the wrong word.” I’m beginning to panic. Taking a deep breath, I run a hand down my face. “You can stay with me until you can find another job. That way you don’t have to worry about it.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think so, Caden.”
“Why not? I’ll let you have my room, and I’ll sleep on the couch.” I’m grasping at straws here.
“I couldn’t put you out like that.”
“You wouldn’t be.” I counter.
She looks away as she sighs and I hope like hell she’s at least considering it. “I don’t know. This is too weird.”
Knowing this is my only chance, I take a step forward and place each hand on her warm cheeks. Hearing her suck in a breath, I know she feels what I am. I can see her pulse beating in her neck, and the way her eyes hungrily glance to my lips lets me know she wants me. “You can’t just leave, Savannah.”
“Why not?” She whispers.
“Because whether or not you want to admit it yet, there’s somethin’ goin’ on between us, and I’m willin’ to do whatever it takes to make you stay.”
She tries to pull away, but I hold her still. “Caden, this is crazy. I barely know you.”
“Which is why you need to stay. And I don’t see you as the type to just give up on findin’ your birth mother.” It’s a low blow, and I know it. But fuck this is a dangerous game she’s playing. I’m handing her everything she needs to continue her search. She just needs reminding of it. “You can stay with me until you find somethin’ else. I’m not askin’ you to marry me. I’m not askin’ for anythin’ but a chance, Savannah.”
“You drive a hard bargain, Caden Harlow.”
“So is that a yes?” She slowly nods her head, and I grin widely. “Can I get that in writin’?”
“Don’t push your luck.”
Unable to resist, I lean in and quickly get a taste of her lips. It’s a fast kiss, but it’s still just as powerful as the last one we shared. “I promise you won’t regret it, small fry.”
Dropping my hands from her face, she takes a step back from me, and I know what she’s doing. She’s still trying to put distance between us. “You better not because I know people.”
Chuckling at her serious tone, I turn to pick up her half eaten biscuit and hand it to her. “Now that I don’t doubt.” She rolls her eyes at me once again, but she does finish her breakfast. “I do have one tiny condition before you actually move in,” I say softly. Her eyes lock with mine, and I hope she doesn’t take this the wrong way. “I would prefer if you wouldn’t use drugs anymore.” Her eyebrows raise, but I hold up a hand letting her know I’m not finished. “I know you’ve been usin’, and normally I wouldn’t mind. However, after what happened last night, I think it’ll be better if you just come to me if you’re needin’ a fix, or somethin’ to take your mind off things.”
She seems to think about it for a few moments as she glances away. I really hope I didn’t just overstep my boundaries, but I can’t have her lighting up joints in my apartment. The last thing I need is for one of the neighbors calling the cops. That’ll just lead to more problems for the both of us. “Maybe you’re right,” she finally huffs out, and I relax instantly.
Walking toward her, I lightly run a finger down her arm as I say, “You can trust me, Savannah.”
Those blue-green eyes gaze into mine, and I hope she’s starting to understand why I’m here, and what my ultimate goal is. “I’ll do better. Just because you asked so nicely.”
Chuckling once more, she takes a drink of her coffee, and I help her pack up the rest of her things. It doesn’t take as long as I thought considering she has more clothes than any woman I’ve known. “Ready to blow this popsicle?” I ask once we’re standing by the door.
“Yeah, I am.” She whips her head toward me and adds, “I’m ready to leave. Not actually blow something.”
Taking her hand in mine, and I’m surprised yet again that she doesn’t pull away, I claim, “The fact you had to clarify that just means you need more lessons on hearin’ southern slang.”
“And I’m sure you’ll be my teacher,” she says sarcastically.
“Well who else is goin’ to teach you? No one else is qualified.”
Savannah pulls the door shut with her free hand, and I feel a surge of pride flow through me knowing she still hasn’t let go of my hand. “Are you always like this?”
“What? Charmin’? Awesome? Oh wait, you mean devilishly handsome.”
She laughs loudly, and I love the fact I made her do it. The sound alone is unlike anything I’ve heard before. It’s like music to my ears. “You keep telling yourself that.”
Pulling her to me, I set her suitcase to the side. Leaning in close, I whisper, “You haven’t seen anythin’ yet, small fry.” It’s a promise more than anything. Yes, I’m playful I’m not known to be serious, but with her there’s more of me wanting to surface. She might not know it, but she’s already changing me in ways I never thought possible, and it’s all for the better. Before and I’m not proud of this, I used women and I’m starting to realize, even if I had a reason for not opening up more to them, it was wrong. But as I gaze into her blue and green eyes, I know I won’t be that guy anymore. Not to her. “Come on, small fry. Let’s go home.”
“You did what? Because I swear you just said you asked her to move in with us.”
“I did say that. I don’t remember you bein’ deaf, Cas.”
“What is wrong with you? Why would you ask her to move in with us when you know nothin’ about this girl?”
Okay this wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for when I came home to tell Cason the good news. Savannah wanted to take separate vehicles since she said she had some errands to run, and I came straight home to spread the word. “I don’t see why you’re getting’ your panties in a wad. And.” I point a finger to him. “She’s not just some girl.”
Cason blinks a few times and being his twin, I know what he’s thinking. “You’re actin’ like a complete fucktard, you know that right?”
“Well geez, tell me how you really feel.” Propping a hand on the counter in the kitchen, I ask, “What’s really on our mind, honey?”
“I can’t talk to you when you’re actin’ this way.” He turns to walk away but thinks better of it. “There’s no way this will end well for either of you. It’s too fast and I know I’m bein’ a dick about it, but you know why. The last time you went in head first, what happened, Caden?”
Remembering all too well what he’s talking about, I can’t fault him for being over protective. “That was a long time ago, Cas. Savannah is different. You’ll see.”
“Yeah, I really hope so. And if not, then she’ll just be just like the rest of them.”
Watching him walk out of the kitchen, I quickly follow behind him. “Cas.” He stands still with his back facing me when I confess, “I need you behind me on this.”
He turns back to me, and I can’t help but notice the one big difference between us. It’s his eyes. While mine are a bright blue, his seem darker. Those dark eyes cut to me, but I know he’ll have my back no matter what. He always has. “You’re my brother, Caden. I’ll always have your back. Even when you’re doin’ stupid shit.”
“See I knew you loved me.”
“Don’t push it.”
“Can I have
a hug before you storm out and slam the door?”
“No.” Is all he says, and then he’s out the door.
He does slam it behind him too. “Such a drama queen.” Turning away from the door, I walk into my room. I wasn’t lying to Savannah about staying with me, and I want her to feel at home here. Which is why I begin to move some of my stuff out of my dresser to make some room for her. I even do the same in the closet just in case she needs the extra space.
Am I going overboard?
Probably. But none of it really matters because now I have a chance with her. Now I have something to work for, and I hope Savannah is ready.
I don’t back down from something I want.
“Am I being crazy for doing this?” I ask Kelsey. The minute Caden and I parted ways, I picked up the phone to call my bestie. “I mean I barely know him. Tell me this is insane.”
Kelsey sighs heavily over the line, and for a moment I fear what she’ll say. Calling her for advice has never been a bad thing, but for some reason, I want her to like Caden too. Wait … Did I just admit I liked him? “Savvy, I’ll be honest with you.” Swallowing hard, I wait for the hard truth. “This isn’t conventional at all. Like by any means. But.” She stops, and I hold onto the phone like a lifeline. “I have to ask. Are there feelings involved? Because I can understand why you would say yes knowing there’s something there, and also because I know you don’t want to give up on finding your mom.”
