by Tania Crosse
‘Why don’t you try and nod off?’ I suggested sympathetically when I took the empty cup from him ten minutes later. ‘You look as though you need it.’
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t mind? To be honest, I’m shattered.’
‘Of course not. I’m here to look after you, remember?’
He smiled wryly. ‘And I am grateful, Lily, even if I don’t always show it. Why don’t you explore the house? Choose yourself a bedroom.’
‘Yes, I will. You have a good nap and don’t worry about me.’
His eyelids were already drooping and I crept out of the room, clicking my tongue at Trojan who eagerly scrambled up, ready for an adventure. Well, it was for me anyway. I knew the kitchen, the drawing room and the dining room, and had used the lavatory, not original and so squeezed in under the stairs. On the ground floor, I discovered another huge reception room, closed off with all the furniture hidden beneath dustsheets, giving it a ghostly appearance as if stepping back into another age which, I supposed, it was!
The final room, and one which I had glimpsed before, was a substantial study with book-lined walls and solid wood filing cabinets. On the worn carpet stood a fine polished desk, an antique now but probably new in Daniel’s great-grandmother’s day, I imagined. The leather-inlaid top was strewn with papers, and a blank sheet had been inserted into an old typewriter. It struck me that the study was larger than the entire kitchen that Sidney and I had more or less lived in at the cottage, and that, at one time, the Warrington side of Daniel’s family must have been very rich indeed.
I climbed the sweeping staircase, noticing that he kept the place clean and tidy. He had explained to me before which was his room so that I could fetch him some clothes, but now I explored them all, six altogether, each of a good size and the one at the end with a dressing room and a bathroom going off. There was another huge bathroom, which I guessed had originally been another bedroom. I wondered how the plumbing worked with no gas for hot water and only limited electricity, but there was obviously some sort of system in place.
I chose the room next to Daniel’s as I thought I might feel nervous at night in this huge, isolated house on the moor. The views from the window were breathtaking, though, and a contented peace wafted about me as if I had come home. I found some sheets in a linen cupboard on the landing and made up the bed, but before I unpacked, my curiosity took me up a narrow staircase to the top floor, the servants’ quarters in the attic space. And the nursery.
It was like entering a church, silent, dusty, sacred. There was a beautiful wooden crib, a larger cot, shelves of old toys, table and chairs and an old-fashioned highchair. Most wonderful of all was an exquisitely carved rocking horse the size of a small pony and almost as realistic. I pushed its nose and it swung smoothly. I wondered if it would take my weight. I would have to ask Daniel. I’d love to ride on it, and I wouldn’t care if he laughed at me.
I stood for some minutes, allowing the ghosts of the past to sink into my soul. I knew that there had been a son killed somewhere in the Somme during the First World War. He would have been brought up in this room, a little boy playing on the rug or the rocking horse, not knowing in his innocence that his life would be cruelly cut short on the battlefield. Ah, the darkness of war. Pray God it would never happen again.
I suddenly had the most overwhelming desire to see the nursery full of children once more, to hear its walls echo with laughter. But with Daniel the last of the line and not expecting to marry, it probably never would, and it made me want to cry.
I carefully shut the door and left the room to its memories.
Chapter Twenty-One
The following morning, the sun decided to show itself and so we sat out on the south-facing terrace to enjoy the last vestiges of the summer. There were a couple of old deckchairs in the boot room, one of which had a foot-rest so that Daniel could put his leg up, as it was still inclined to ache. I got him comfortable and then went to make some fresh coffee as he had shown me how to use the filters the night before.
‘Black, no sugar. That’s right, isn’t it?’ I asked as I set the tray down on the folding table I had found with the deckchairs.
‘It certainly is. Thank you.’ Daniel took the mug, squinting up at me. ‘Did you sleep all right, by the way? I forgot to ask.’
‘Yes, I did.’ I nodded as I added cream to my own coffee. ‘How about you?’
He shrugged. ‘I still can’t get comfortable, and my leg was itching. But it was good to be back in my own bed.’
‘Nothing quite like it, is there?’ I could hardly believe it. Daniel was being so pleasant that I was actually enjoying his company. It had been the same the previous evening when he had shown his appreciation over the simple meal I had cooked. I doubted it would last. Or perhaps I had always misjudged him. He certainly seemed a different person from the sullen brute who had rescued me three years ago. ‘It really is lovely here,’ I went on, feeling totally at ease. ‘Looking over the moor like this gives me a sense of peace. And freedom.’
I noticed his eyes deepen to sapphire as they narrowed. ‘That’s right,’ he muttered almost inaudibly. ‘That’s why I had to come back.’
I had the impression that he wasn’t only referring to the present as I recalled his words to Edwin all that time ago. It was thinking of this place that kept me alive, or something like that. I didn’t want him to change his mood, so I quickly commented, ‘You keep the garden looking nice.’
He gave a sardonic snort. ‘The grass needs cutting and there are weeds coming up everywhere. And I was trying to give the wooden outbuildings a coat of creosote while they were still dry. I’d been concentrating on the house and garden so I hadn’t got round to it before. Now I mightn’t get a chance until next summer.’
‘I can do a bit of weeding for you. But is that what you do all the time, look after the place?’ I asked lazily.
‘It’s my job.’
‘Really? I often wondered.’
‘Caretaker extraordinaire,’ he replied dryly. ‘Only I won’t be doing much caretaking for a while, will I? Knowing Gran, she’ll still pay me, mind.’
‘Oh, it’s a proper job, then?’ I said, my curiosity genuinely aroused. ‘I thought you were just… Well, I was never sure, to be honest.’
Daniel gave me a sideways glance. ‘Oh, she doesn’t pay me much. But what do I need money for? I’ve got the only roof over my head I’ve ever wanted, so it’s a perfect arrangement. It might not be a proper job as I believe you once put it, but it suits me down to the ground.’
‘Did I? Put it like that? Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sure I didn’t mean—’
‘Oh, I think you did at the time. But it doesn’t matter. The fact is that Gran and my great aunt inherited the house jointly soon after the Great War. But Grandad took Gran up to London to try and salvage what was left of her family fortune, and they rather took to city life.’
‘Yes, I vaguely remember Edwin saying something like that.’
‘Oh, yes? Well, then, I expect you know that Great Aunt Marianne’s husband had lost both his legs in the war. That’s actually how they met. She was driving the ambulance that rescued him. They lived here with the house only half belonging to her, but the only money they had to live on was a trust my grandfather set up for them. So they couldn’t afford to have any work done and the place was left to fall into ruin for thirty years until…’
His voice ended in a thin trail and he stared out over the moor for some seconds as if he had forgotten I was there. But then he shook his head as if focusing his thoughts. ‘So I’ve been renovating the house for a fraction of what it would have cost to pay someone properly. It’s the only way Gran could afford it. We may not be poverty-stricken, but we’re not that wealthy, either. Not after two world wars to ruin our investments. Most of our money’s in bricks and mortar. The house in London. And yes, everyone shares the same one. And here. And this isn’t worth as much as you might think,’ he went on, raising his hand as if to emphasise the poin
t. ‘It’s leasehold, you see, not freehold. And anyway, it would be hard to find a buyer, I reckon. I’d be devastated, mind, if Gran decided to try and sell it. I could never imagine myself following in my father’s footsteps, checking his investments in the Financial Times every day, keeping his ear to the ground, attending shareholders’ meetings almost daily. And I’d suffocate in London.’
He paused, chewing his bottom lip wistfully, and then surprised me by asking, ‘What about you, Lily? Would you go back? I really know so little about you, but Ed told me you’d lived in London all your life before you came here.’
I had found myself intrigued and feeling privileged that Daniel was, I supposed, confiding in me. I was taken aback, though, by his question and hesitated, remembering how Edwin had once asked me the very same thing. But before I could answer, Trojan heaved himself reluctantly from the warm flagstones, growling softly and hackles raised.
‘Oo-ee!’ we heard faintly from the side of the house. And then more loudly, ‘Oooo-eeee! Anyone there? It’s me, Gloria! And Kate’s with me!’
Daniel rolled his eyes. ‘Damn it. I was really enjoying the peace and quiet. Now I suppose I’ll have to be civil to them.’
‘I’m sure they mean well,’ I attempted to pacify him as I padded away. Trojan followed me, wagging his tail but moving guardedly, just the same. I held his collar as I let our visitors in the side-gate, and then he seemed quite happy when I greeted them as friends and not foes.
‘We knocked at the front door but I don’t suppose you could hear. Just wanted to see how you are!’ Gloria announced as she strode to where Daniel was disguising his resigned expression with a smile.
‘Glad to be home, and not in such discomfort as I was,’ he replied amiably. ‘Lily’s looking after me a treat. Please forgive me if I don’t get up. And take a seat.’
‘Have mine, Gloria,’ I offered, indicating the other deckchair. ‘I’ll get you both a drink. You must be gasping. I assume you walked all the way?’
‘We certainly did. It’s the only way as neither of us drive.’
‘Thank you for coming to visit me in hospital,’ Daniel said as Gloria sat down beside him. ‘I don’t remember, I’m afraid. The concussion, you see. But it was very good of you.’
‘Don’t mention it.’
‘I’d have come, too,’ Kate chipped in, ‘but I wasn’t sure if you’d be happy with that, bein’ in bed, like.’
She was standing by his feet, gazing down at him with wide, starry eyes. She was still going out with Pete but here she was, almost fluttering her eyelids at Daniel, though I was sure she’d have been mortified to realise it was so obvious. I had to admit he was strikingly handsome and I supposed that being in a vulnerable situation would bring out the mothering instinct in any female. The accident had brought that haunted look back to his face and, in an odd way, it suited him. And I experienced a pang of, dear Lord, it wasn’t jealousy, was it, as Kate eyed him coyly?
‘Did it hurt very much?’ she enquired now. ‘You must’ve been mortal brave.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ Daniel answered so sharply that I saw Kate recoil. ‘You need to ask Lily. I believe I was quite obnoxious at times.’
‘Oh, well,’ I stammered. ‘When you were still concussed, I don’t think you knew what you were saying most of the time. But after that, yes. I think you were very brave indeed.’
He glanced up, his mouth in a firm line and his eyes boring into mine. I wasn’t sure what was behind his expression and it unnerved me.
‘I’ll get that drink,’ I said quickly, glad to escape. ‘What would you like? Something hot, or there’s some lemonade in the fridge.’
‘Oh, lemonade, please.’
‘Me, too. I’ll come and help you.’
There was really no need, but Kate followed me anyway. The French doors to the drawing room were open, but I went in through the back door and along the passage to the kitchen. I noticed that Kate’s eyes were everywhere.
‘It’s a grand house, isn’t it? He must be very rich.’
‘Oh, Daniel doesn’t own it. He just looks after it for his grandmother.’
Kate shrugged. ‘Same difference. Mind you, he might be good-looking, but does he always have such a short fuse?’
I glanced at her warily. ‘No, not really. Not once you get to know him. He does keep things close to his chest, mind.’
‘Well, I don’t know how you stand him. I’d rather have my Pete any day.’
‘Isn’t he coming to see you with it being Sunday? It’s been his first week away at college, hasn’t it?’
‘Exactly. He’s got digs in Plymouth, but he says he’ll come home most weekends. Only there’s things on today so as they can get to know each other. So when I met Miss Luckett after chapel and she said she was comin’ here, I thought I’d come, too. I’d love to see the house proper, like,’ she hinted.
So I gave her a swift guided tour of the ground floor, not quite sure how Daniel would feel about my showing her upstairs. ‘How’s the job going?’ I asked as she admired the drawing room.
‘Oh, all right, I suppose. I’m still on the counters, though. You know I was hopin’ for your job when you left, but maybe I’m not so bright as I thought I was.’
‘Never mind,’ I encouraged her. ‘Perhaps you’ll get something else one day. I’ll just give Gloria her drink.’ And so saying, I left Kate gazing at the mesmerising portrait of Daniel’s great-grandmother.
‘There have been more sacrificed sheep while you were in hospital, you know,’ Gloria was saying as I handed her the glass of lemonade.
‘Really? Well, I’m determined to get to the bottom of it once I’m able to get around again.’
‘Oh, I do wish you wouldn’t. I mean, it could be dangerous, and I wouldn’t want to see you—’
I didn’t hear the rest as I caught the shrill ring of the telephone from the hall. I hurried inside to answer it, thinking how odd it was that Gloria almost seemed to be trying to put Daniel off.
‘Hello, Lily. It’s Edwin,’ the voice at the other end of the line announced when I picked up the phone. ‘Just ringing to see how Daniel is. Behaving himself, I hope?’
‘I think coming home yesterday was a bit much for him, but he’s fine today,’ I reported. ‘Grumbling because he can’t do anything, as you might imagine, but just now he’s sitting on the terrace with his leg up.’
‘Good to hear it! Would you like Sadie and me to come up? She’s got a few hours off duty this afternoon.’
I felt my heart sink to my feet. My main reason for offering to look after Daniel had been to escape seeing Edwin and Sadie together, hadn’t it?
‘Oh, no. Really,’ I replied adamantly. ‘He’s already had some visitors today, and I think he’d rather just be quiet, to be honest. And I’m sure you and Sadie would rather be on your own.’
‘Well, if you’re sure. Just give me a ring if he becomes too hard to handle and I’ll come and give him a lecture. Or if he has any problems at all.’
‘Yes, I will. Thanks, Edwin. I’ll tell him you rang.’
I replaced the receiver in its cradle with relief. I really did think Daniel would be better off with only myself for company, and I hoped I could think of a polite way to get Gloria and Kate to leave.
‘I’ll just get the roast in the oven and then I’ll give you both a lift back, if you like,’ I suggested with a smile as I went back outside where I found Kate perched on the stone balustrade to the terrace. ‘I’m sure you don’t want to walk all that way again.’
‘Thank you, Lily. That would be very kind.’
And the grateful light in Daniel’s eyes warmed my heart.
The weather broke the next day, plunging us into a typical Dartmoor autumn with a dense, impenetrable fog that blotted out the garden, let alone the moor beyond. We kept indoors, Trojan eyeing us both in turn and quite disgruntled that his only outing was to the garden. Daniel was concerned that either the dog or I would get lost on the moor, and I ha
d to agree with him.
After a light lunch, we had both been reading in the drawing room when Daniel struggled to his feet – or rather to one foot and his crutches – and I heard the now familiar plonk, thud as he made his way out into the hall, presumably to use the lavatory. Indeed I heard it flush and a minute later, the plonk, thud again. But he must have gone into the study to get a different book from the shelves or maybe look at some accounts or bills, or some such. The dull tap on the typewriter reached my ears faintly. It was painfully slow, distracting my concentration from the bland novel Wendy had given me and which I didn’t think much of. After half an hour, I couldn’t stand it any longer and sauntered into the study to see if I could be of assistance.
Daniel lifted his gaze from beneath furrowed eyebrows. ‘Help yourself,’ he said, gesticulating towards the shelves. ‘Sorry. Was I disturbing you? I’m a lousy typist, I’m afraid.’
‘So I see,’ I grinned. ‘Can I help? Is it a letter or something that needs tabulating? I’ll do it for you. Unless it’s personal, of course,’ I concluded in a fluster.
‘Ah, well, it’s rather longer than a letter. And it is somewhat personal. I’m writing, well, a book,’ he confessed. ‘I write it in longhand and then attempt to type it up.’
‘A book?’ I was genuinely surprised. But on swift reflection, I supposed I shouldn’t have been. Daniel was highly intelligent, had a First from Oxford, and yet here he was, an odd-job man when all was said and done, even if he was excellent at it. ‘How fascinating! What about?’ I asked with intrigued eagerness.
To my dismay, he looked almost ashamed. ‘It was Edwin’s idea. He suggested that if I wrote down some of what happened in Korea, it would be a sort of release. I was pretty wound up when I came home, and then to find… Well, you know all that. I just…’ He paused, spreading his hands. ‘I just found myself taking it out on anyone and everyone. Including an innocent young girl who’d twisted her ankle out on the moor.’ He looked up with a guilty half smile. ‘Ed didn’t like what he saw when we met up again, and he said so. That’s a true friend for you. He rang me nearly every week from London, just to argue sometimes when I was being particularly awkward. I don’t think I’d have got through it without him. There were times when I really did feel suicidal. But I kept bumping into…’ He broke off abruptly. ‘So you could say Ed saved my life on two occasions. I know how dreadfully he upset you, but—’
