21
Nandita – The Traitor
Nandita marched down the street toward her apartment, swinging her purse like a weapon and causing several pedestrians to scoot to the edge of the sidewalk to avoid getting whacked. What was happening to her? He was handsome, there was no denying that, but when he had taken her hand, a rush of feeling, nerves tingling as though they were on the edge of explosion, had rushed straight up her arm, filled her chest, and shot straight to her nether regions. That was a new one. She had never felt that before—not even with her sweet, high school “true love,” Sachin.
The entire conversation had made her so angry. How dare he carry on like that about her going back to India? What did he know about it? How could he know how it felt to be crushed under another person’s expectations—expectations so opposite from your own? He had touched her, then, and her anger had instantly dissipated. Suddenly, she had felt so connected to him. Why?
It was because he did know; he had the same breed of parents with the same expectations. He was undeniably struggling through a life that wasn’t his own. She could see it in the gentle touch when he treated his dog and the sadness just behind those intense, dark eyes. It was the reason he was trying to convince her to go back to India: it was too scary to confront what he secretly knew.
She slowed her aggressive pace and hesitated. Should she go back? What would it feel like to grab his hand and drag him from that coffee shop? They could find a nice, shady spot on the grassy campus and just talk. How would it feel to talk with someone that intimately—someone with an inherent understanding of their shared struggles and with whom she could share her fears and frustrations without the concerned parental lecture? She had rules, though, and Ravi unmistakably broke one of them. Her thoughts wandered to what else might happen on that grassy spot in the shade, and she felt that rush of nerves again. She needed to get him out of her head.
Her phone rang in her pocket and she paused on the street to answer it. It was Satish. She’d been waiting for this. She’d try one last time to beg him to sponsor her visa. It was probably hopeless, but she had to try.
“Hi, Satish.” She started walking again. The sooner she was on her snug balcony with a cup of tea, the better she would feel. This day had gotten out of her control.
“Are you running, Nandita?”
“No. Why?”
“You just sound as though you are out of breath. I didn’t think you were a runner.”
“Of course I’m not a runner. I’m just walking fast. How are you?”
“I’m sorry, Nandita, but I don’t think you’re going to like what I have to say.”
“You won’t do it.”
“It’s not the right thing to do. The right thing is for you to go back to India and make an effort to resolve the problems you have with our father. Mother also misses you—you should be spending time with her.”
“Why don’t you go and resolve your issues with Father, Satish, if you’re so keen on me doing it?”
He sucked in his breath and Nandita sensed he was trying to keep his temper. “I would if he wasn’t so angry with me for allowing my little sister to become an American girl. Don’t you think Claire would like for our family to be at the wedding? You’re not being fair, Nandita.”
She knew she wasn’t. Satish had changed his life for her, but she was still pissed. She was pissed at Ravi for suggesting she go back, and for being so damned attractive and distracting, and she was pissed at Satish for not extending a lifeline. What was it with these men who thought they knew better than she did? First her father, then Satish, and now this guy, Ravi. She knew what was best for her, and if anyone else told her to go back to India, she would scream.
Nandita ended the call after her brother finished a long and boring explanation of the reasoning behind his decision. She was just putting the phone back in her bag when it rang again. She went to hit the ignore button when she saw it was Sally. What timing.
“I’ll do it!” she said the minute the phone was to her ear.
“What?” Sally sounded confused and a bit out of breath herself.
“I’m taking you up on your offer. I’ll call the green card marriage people tomorrow.”
“Well, that wasn’t exactly what I…”
“Don’t say anything else, Sally, or I might change my mind.” She hung up the phone, shoved it back in her pocket, and started her aggressive march down Nassau Street once again. Now, she thought, I’m back in control.
22
Ravi – The Decision
Ravi’s mind was racing and he couldn’t slow it down. Thoughts of coffee with Nandita tore him apart. Who was he? Was he the man who had a job to do—a job he couldn’t refuse—or was he the man who lit up like a candle, and subsequently melted, every time his skin touched hers? Were they compatible? He knew they could be, but only if he told her the truth, which could blow up everything. He would fail at the job, and she would never want to see him again.
He had to forget the way she made him feel, focus on the anger, and get the job done. Ravi had no other choice right now. He opened his laptop and typed a quick message.
I had coffee with Nandita today. I brought up the necessity to return to India, but it didn’t go very well. I'll continue to work on it.
Ravi sent the email and leaned back in his office chair. He felt slimy and unclean. This wasn't who he was. The quicksand was sucking him under, and he didn’t know how to escape.
He got up to brush his teeth and put this stressful day behind him, but he stopped on his way to the bathroom when he heard a pounding on the downstairs door and a plaintive cry, “Raveeeeeeee.”
Tammy. She must have forgotten or lost her keys again. He headed out to the hallway and looked down the stairs toward the front door. When he saw the image in the small window next to it, he laughed. Tammy had pressed her face into the glass and the result was gruesome: all red lips smearing lipstick on the glass with her cute, smushed nose.
Ravi opened the door and Tammy tumbled in, almost knocking him over. She was drunk. He grabbed her under the arms so she didn’t slide to the floor and tried to navigate them both to the stairwell. She was as floppy as a rag doll, and he hitched her higher, so he wouldn't drop her, with the top of her head just beneath his chin. She turned her face up to him, and he smiled down at her, amused by the mess of her usually meticulous makeup job. Tammy didn’t often drink, so he found her current state more amusing than a cause for concern.
“I missed you tonight, Raveeee. There were all these guys there, and they were all drunk and whatever, and they all wanted my number, and I just wanted to come home to my Ravi.” She wiped her hand across her face and blew air from her lips, trying to move the hair out her eyes. She only managed to smear more makeup. “You are my Ravi, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am, Tammy.” He juggled her in his arms and finally managed to throw her over his shoulder, fireman style, before moving to the stairs as quickly as he could without jostling her too much. He wasn’t sure how much she'd consumed, but he wanted to get her to her room quickly, in case she puked down his back.
Tammy reached down as they began to climb the stairs, and with every step he took, she slapped his butt hard. She was smashed. “You have such a nice behind. Has anyone ever told you that, Ravi? Has any boy ever told you that you have a nice behind?” He felt the blood rush to his face and was glad Tammy couldn’t see it. In this state, her teasing would be merciless.
“Where were you tonight, Tammy?” he puffed out the words.
“Oh, with the gang, you know, the same old, boring, stuck-up bunch of losers with their stupid conversations about the stupid country club and their stupid cars and their stupid investments.”
She had let her arms flop straight down now, and Ravi could feel them hitting the back of his legs as he reached the landing outside their door. Tammy was heavier than he'd imagined, and he was out of breath. He lifted her from his shoulder gingerly and stood her next to him, throwing her
arm around his shoulders to steady her as he opened the door.
“You’re not stupid, are you, Ravi? You’re a real person—not a fake, pretend person like that bunch of duds. You care about something other than yourself. You look after people. You look after me.” She leaned into him as he dragged her into the room, her nose almost touching his. For a scary moment, he thought she was going to kiss him, but her eyes closed and she swayed dangerously. “I think you should put me in my bed. Take me to my bed, Ravi.”
He headed toward Tammy’s bedroom, but then hesitated. Maybe he should just leave her right here on the couch and bring her a pillow. Was that mean? Yeah, that was mean.
“Okay, Tammy, I’m going to take you in your room. You can get undressed while I get you a glass of water and some Tylenol. You’re going to feel this tomorrow.”
“How about I feel you before tomorrow, Ravi? How about that? You know all my girlfriends already think we’re secret lovers. Maybe we should just go for it! I know you’re gay, but it doesn’t hurt to try something new.” He ignored her—it was the drink talking—and moved into her room, trying to lower her to the bed. She lost her balance, but kept her firm grip on his shoulders, and he went tumbling down with her. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him directly on top of her to whisper in his ear, “You see, isn’t this nice?”
“You’re drunk, Tammy,” he said. “You need to rest. Stay here and I’ll get you water.”
He extricated himself from her embrace, a position more intimate than he'd ever found himself in before now. He had felt nothing, though. His entire body had been splayed across one of the most beautiful women he knew and he felt nothing yet the slightest contact of Nandita’s fingers had been the most erotic experience of his life so far. How could he ignore that?
Tammy rolled onto her side toward the wall and murmured sleepily, “I can’t wait until we go to Penn. When we go to Penn, I'll have you to myself and convince you I'd be better for you than any guy could ever be. You just wait and see.”
Suddenly, Ravi was terrified. His heart started to race, and he brought a hand up to press onto his chest, feeling the need to try to slow it down. It wasn’t because of Tammy—he could handle her—but at her mention of the University of Pennsylvania. What was he doing? Since the arrival of the acceptance letter, he had pushed aside the thought of what was next for him. He’d told himself it was because he needed to focus on the job at hand, but that was a lie. Standing here, gripping his chest, he realized the letter terrified him. The thought of medical school made him want to throw up. He needed a drink.
“I’ll get you water, Tammy. I’ll be right back,” he said. As he rushed into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and shake two Tylenol out of the bottle, his hands shook. His heart still raced, and he flashed back to what Nandita had said when he asked her why she wouldn’t go back to India. She’d said there was a chance she’d never come back. If Ravi went to the University of Pennsylvania, he would never come back, either. Physically, he would return, but in every other way—his life, his choices, his very soul—he would disappear, sucked down into the dreams of others.
Nandita wouldn’t go back to India, because she had the fortitude to take her life into her own hands. She didn’t bow to pressure and expectations. She knew what she wanted, and she went out and got it. His directive to persuade her to return to India was useless. No one could sway Nandita. She was a palm tree in a hurricane—a person unlike any he had met before.
He returned to Tammy’s room to find her passed out on the bed. He put the pills on her bedside table, drank down the glass of water, and made a decision. There was only one thing that could calm his racing heart. There was only one person he wanted to be with right now—so much that the thought of her made his already-racing heart speed up. He needed to see Nandita.
23
Nandita – The Gamechanger
Earlier that day, when Nandita had stormed up the stairs into the oasis of calm that was her apartment, she had headed straight to the coffee table and picked up the brochure. Could it have come to this? Satish refused to sponsor her green card; it seemed everyone in the world was of the opinion that a job was out of the question. Yes, it had come to this. She had to be in control of her future. She would not go back under the thumb of her father, no matter how much the thought of seeing her mother again made her vacillate.
Now she was in her pajamas, cuddled on her couch with her feet tucked under her and a cup of tea in her hands, thinking about Ravi.
What about him? She had only just met him. Sure, their instant connection was thrilling, but even he pushed her to give up her dreams. He was as afraid for her as he was for himself. When you took life into your own hands and started making big, scary choices, if something went wrong, you had no one to blame but yourself. Right now, Ravi could secretly blame his unhappiness on his parents. If he only lived the life they told him to live instead of his own, how could his unhappiness be his fault? Would she still see him, given the glossy brochure on the table and what it meant for her future? Yes, she would. She would still see him, because even though he made her angry, he also intrigued her. Why had he been following her all this time? What did he want from her? She wanted to find out, and if she enjoyed his company in the meantime, there was no harm done. He would be leaving at the end of the summer anyway.
She had just decided she didn’t want the tea and was halfway out of her seat to dump it in the sink when there was a furious banging at the downstairs door. She froze in surprise; what a racket! When she jumped, boiling water spilled from her cup, and she squealed when it burned her hand.
“Hold on, hold on,” she called, “I’m coming!” She dumped the mug of tea on the coffee table and ran. Her heart was racing as she scrambled down the stairwell. The banging didn’t cease, and it scared her. Was it Satish, Claire, or another of the gang with terrible news? She was so frantic that she didn’t even check the peephole to see who it was.
When she threw open the door, she found Ravi standing on the doorstep. His eyes bore into her, his gaze filled with fear or desperation. Her racing heart picked up its pace as she took in his mess of dark curls, shiny with sweat, and his bare, sculpted biceps bulging from the sleeves of his thin cotton t-shirt. He was a beautiful man—there was no denying it. He stopped banging and leaned heavily forward, seemingly exhausted, his hands gripping either side of the door frame. He dropped his head, breaking their connection, and tried to catch his breath.
She waited. When he looked up again, his curls flopped into his face, blocking his eyes. Nandita couldn’t stop the urge, and she reached forward and tucked the curls behind his ear. He shivered at her gentle touch, and as she was pulling her hand away, he hurriedly grabbed her wrist. There it was again, that shot of electricity activating her body, as though his touch was an ignition switch. She gasped.
“I want to be a vet,” Ravi said. “I want to be a vet, not a doctor. I want to be a vet, and I want to be as brave as you are. I want to go after what I want, but I’m too scared to let people down. Also, I don’t think you should go to India. I think you should stay here, with me.” He stepped toward her, his face only inches from hers, his breath hot and sweetly scented. His grabbed her other wrist and pulled her hands between them, so her knuckles rested on his muscular chest. “You are the most beautiful and fascinating woman I have ever met.”
Nandita’s heart stuttered as he pressed his lips against hers. Should she stop him? This was against her rules, and once again she felt out of control, but his kiss deepened with an urgency and passion that surprised her, and she found herself responding in kind. She pressed her fists against his chest and stepped forward into the kiss. He lowered her hands to her sides, released them, and wrapped his arms firmly around her, pulling her hard against him. She let out a tiny groan of pleasure, and he responded by plunging his hands into her hair and cupping her head in his hands.
When the kiss finally broke, they stood there, chests heaving, staring at each other
.
“I’m sorry,” Ravi said. “I should have asked first.”
Control be damned! She stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck to kiss him again. Yeah, yeah, no men, she knew that, but when a man like Ravi showed up on your doorstep and kissed you that way, it was time for a little rule bending. A groan of surprise and pleasure escaped him, and she smiled against his lips. She felt his smile in return and gave his bottom lip a tiny bite. He gasped and pulled her closer.
She stepped backward, blushing under the intense gaze of his ebony eyes. It was time to slow this down. “Would you like a cup of tea? You could come up.”
Ravi surprised her by stepping back from her, as though she'd just told him to get lost. She could still see the desire in his eyes, but he shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
“Go?” Nandita said. “You just got here.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for doing this, but I have to go back to the apartment. Tammy came home overly lubricated, and I need to make sure she’s alright.” Nandita felt a stab of disappointment, but she was impressed. He was a good guy. “Will you come with me somewhere on Saturday, though? I need to talk to you, and I have somewhere I’d like to take you. I can pick you up here around 10am?”
Ravi’s body language made it very clear to her that he was uncomfortable and wanting to go, but her own body was telling her to make him stay! Tomorrow was only Friday, and her body rebelled at the idea of waiting an entire day before she could see him again. She wanted to figure out what this thing was between them—it was something different and special. She had been surprised by his appearance tonight on her doorstep, but she wasn’t surprised by her reaction.
Uncharted (Jersey Girls Book 3) Page 10
