“Never?” Tricia asked, her eyes wide.
“I loved my husband very much.”
After darting a hesitant look at Ben, Emma said, “Now, I don’t know what to think. My family and Sanford’s family are very close. I suppose all of them thought I’d simply raise the girls on my own.”
“I used to think my father should stay alone,” Ben said. “But now I would feel bad if he did that. I would feel sorry for you, too, if you never considered courting again. Being alone forever is a mighty long time.”
Emma was pretty sure Ben had no idea how true his statement was. “Jah. It is.”
Tricia stood up. “Emma, I know you have been through a lot more than me, but I have recently learned that the Lord has put a whole lot of people on the earth and given us a whole lot of places to live and walk and explore. It would be a shame to ignore the chance for happiness because you were afraid you might like having a new man in your life.”
Well, Tricia’s words were certainly direct. “Danke,” she said slowly. Half of her was ready to disregard what the girl said. However, the other part was more than willing to accept Tricia’s advice. After all, hadn’t she been thinking just the same thing over the last few days? Clearing her throat, she changed the subject. “I should probably feed these kinner now. School gives one quite an appetite.”
“I’ll be back in two hours to get William,” Ben said.
Just as Emma was ready to nod, Tricia’s words reverberated in her head some more. She could either stew on them a little bit longer or do something.
Right then and there, she knew how Sanford would have reacted to such a statement. He would have grasped hold of it and held on tight. Furthermore, he would have convinced his parents to see his point of view. He would have not let anyone talk him out of doing something that was important to him.
And Jay was becoming important to her.
She knew what she had to do. “Wait. Ben, would your daed be upset if the girls and I brought William home?”
“Not at all.”
“You sure?”
“If we don’t need to stay around Pinecraft for William, I’ll take Tricia back to the farm and tell my daed you’re going to stop by. If it seems like he would be mad, I’ll simply come right back to retrieve William.”
“That’s a lot of trouble.”
“It’s no trouble. Besides, I’m almost positive my father is going to be really happy about your visit.”
“It’s going to be fun. I’ll make everyone supper,” Tricia added with a happy smile.
“Nee, you don’t need to do that,” Emma said quickly. “I’m not planning to stay there long.”
“Just long enough to say hello to Jay?”
Feeling like she was practically leaping off a cliff, she nodded. “Jah. I think, well, I think maybe I should give this courting idea a try. Just to see what might happen.” She darted a look at Ben and was relieved to see that he looked pleased.
Tricia’s green eyes sparkled. “Miss Emma, have you decided to be the one going courting?”
“Maybe. After all, the Lord doesn’t say anything about women having to wait for the men to always make the first move. I think I would like to see what it feels like.”
She only hoped Jay wouldn’t be too shocked.
Chapter 18
Danke for coming to the farm,” Jay said to a man about his age wearing a ball cap. “We appreciate your business.”
“Are you kidding? We’re glad y’all are open again. This is the best place in the county for fresh organic fruits and vegetables.” Looking around, he pointed to the new display cases Jay, Ben, and Mark had built in the evenings. “I had heard you had opened a stand on the road, but this place is terrific.”
“Thank you,” Jay said, glad that the old building on the edge of the property had turned into such a perfect place to sell all their produce. With its quaint features, it looked like a cross between a gingerbread house and a rustic barn. The boys had painted it brick red and ordered a sign from a local woodworker declaring it the Hilty Organic Market in black and gold. The building had turned out to be a far better stand than Jay could have imagined. And its unusual, charming quirkiness had caught the eye of many locals.
When the boys had wanted to give the roadside spot a try, seeing that it wouldn’t hurt anything to get people interested in the quality of their produce, Jay hadn’t been too hopeful about it being successful. Luckily he’d been wrong. Word of mouth had been strong and every few days their number of customers doubled. The Lord had been working with them for sure.
Holding up his basket practically filled to the brim, the customer continued. “Everything you’re carrying is top-notch. We’re telling everyone we know about you.”
“I am grateful for that. We’ll be adding handmade soaps and other items eventually. Maybe even fresh baked goods, too.”
“Sounds perfect. Thanks again,” the man said after handing Jay his money.
After the man walked out to his car, hands laden with two large sacks full of fruits and vegetables, Jay gave a sigh of relief. At last they could rest for a moment.
“How many customers was that for the day, Daed?” Mark called out from the back of the stand where he was wiping down shelves.
“Twenty-seven.”
Mark’s grin was a replica of how Jay himself was feeling inside. “That’s the best number yet and the day ain’t even over.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Jay admitted. “I hate to count my chickens before they’re hatched, but things are looking up, for sure and for certain.”
“They’re getting better every day, Daed,” Mark said as he walked to his side. “That man sounded like he loves your fruit and vegetables.”
“Nee, that isn’t right.” Jay reached out and playfully tipped his middle boy’s hat down low on his forehead. “The customer loves our fruit and vegetables, son. You’ve put as much effort into this stand as I have, and any success we have is because of your hard work and Ben’s, too. I’m right proud of both of you. I could have never done all of this on my own.”
Mark beamed, reminding Jay once again about how important it was to compliment his boys on jobs well done.
“Before we know it we’ll be running the store full-time,” he said.
“Maybe so.” Jay wasn’t willing to sound any more optimistic than that, but he was beginning to feel cautiously eager about their plans.
Almost since the moment they’d moved into the house, he, Ben, and Mark had gotten up every morning before dawn and spent practically every waking hour on the business. Each day either he or Ben would return to the house at half past six and wake up William. After the four of them had a big breakfast together, one of them would take William to school, then head back to the farm to put in a full day’s work.
It had been a hard schedule. And Jay would be lying if he didn’t admit that he’d spent at least a few minutes a day fighting the guilt that ate at him for spending so much of his energy and time on the business. He hoped the boys, especially William, weren’t feeling as if he didn’t care as much about their needs.
But neither Ben nor Mark had taken nearly as much time for himself as Jay had tried to give them. Instead, they threw themselves wholeheartedly into the business. Little by little Jay had come to realize that this organic farm wasn’t just his dream; it was his sons’ dream, too.
Together, they’d decided to start small with the sales part of the business. Eventually, Jay would concentrate more on expanding the farm, but for now they had decided to take advantage of the fruit and crops that had already been planted.
“What do you think we should do? Wait another hour or celebrate by taking off an hour early?”
Mark pointed past Jay to the couple walking toward them. “Stay and hear what Ben and Tricia have to say.”
“They’re here already?” Concerned, he walked over to them. “Ben, why isn’t William with you?”
“Because Emma said she wanted to bring him home
.”
“Why?” Automatically, he feared the worst. “Did something happen? Should you have left him?”
“William is fine.” Looking a bit mischievous, Ben stuffed his hands in his pockets. “What’s more, he ain’t the reason Emma wants to come over tonight.”
“What is the reason?” He held up a basket of berries. “Does she need some fruit? We can get that ready for her.”
“She isn’t coming over for fruit,” Tricia said.
Jay thought Tricia looked like she was hiding a special secret, too. “What does she want?”
Ben and Tricia exchanged small smiles, then Ben spoke. “She, ah, wants to come courting.”
He froze. “What?”
Behind him, Mark stifled a chuckle. Barely.
Jay decided to ignore his son’s amusement. “Tell me what you mean, son,” he bit out as he tried to ignore the flush of embarrassment that was surely staining his cheeks.
“We were talking to her about our engagement,” Tricia began. “Then we started talking about courting . . .”
“And then I asked her if she was ever going to date again,” Ben continued. “And, well, I might have also asked about you and her.”
“You did not.”
Ben nodded. “It wasn’t any big deal, Daed.”
“You and I will speak about keeping my business private later, son.”
“We can talk about that all you want, but I wasn’t wrong. She knows you are becoming a friend and I think she admires you, too.”
Jay’s next gripe got stuck in his throat as his son’s words registered. “She said all that?”
“More or less.” Ben shrugged. “We didn’t talk about you all that much. But she is going to come over.” Giving him a look, Ben added, “And before you start getting upset with me for sticking my nose in your business, I need to point out that this visit was her idea, not mine.”
“Really?” he asked before he remembered to stop sounding like a lovesick fool.
Tricia nodded. “Really.”
“You ought to be nice to her, Daed,” Mark said.
“I’m always nice to her.”
“You ought to take her out walking or something, then. Girls like that.”
He was completely taken off guard, both by his middle boy’s dating advice . . . and what his words meant. “Mark,” he ventured hesitantly, “do you want me to see Emma?”
“Maybe.” He paused, then added, “I hate seeing you alone.”
“I haven’t been alone. I have all of you.”
“It ain’t the same, Daed.” Mark looked down at his boots, as if he was wary about revealing his thoughts.
Jay could understand that. He didn’t want to reveal just how much he was starting to care for Emma. “We’ll see what happens,” he murmured, attempting to keep his voice and expression neutral. “After all, it hasn’t been that long since your mamm passed away.”
Raising his chin again, Mark said, “I know, Daed. But Mamm was sick for a long time before then.” He held up a hand. “I know I’m not supposed to ever speak of that. Or talk about how I feel. I’ll stop.”
“You can always tell me how you feel, Mark. Always.” When his son looked at him like he couldn’t quite believe that, he added, “I know your heart is in the right place. I know you loved your mamm, and just as importantly, she knew it, too. Because of that, you can be as honest as you would like about your feelings.”
He looked back down at the floor. “I only meant that when she was so sick, it was like we’d already lost her,” he mumbled.
Mark’s words hit him hard. Not because they weren’t true or he was surprised. It was because Mark was brave enough to voice how long and difficult Evelyn’s illness had been for everyone. Jay had always felt disloyal whenever he dared to be so honest. “I know,” he said at last. “I know what you meant. But that doesn’t mean I need to start getting serious about another woman.”
Ben groaned impatiently. “You don’t have to be like Tricia and me and fall in love right away, Daed. But anything is better than sitting home alone all the time. Ain’t so?”
He privately agreed, but he didn’t know how to handle both his feelings and his sons’ feelings. Or how much his eldest sounded like a love and romance expert.
But because William was not there—and he’d always been sure that William was suffering the most from the loss of Evelyn—he admitted, “I don’t know how to do all of this correctly. I don’t want either of you to feel like I’m replacing your mother.”
“You could never replace Mamm,” Mark said. “But I don’t think she would be happy to know you were home by yourself and sad.”
He’d never thought about it like that. He’d only concentrated on his promises to her . . . not what she might have wanted him to do. Evelyn was the most generous woman he’d ever met, and though her body had always been weak, she’d had innate strength about her. A backbone. “I think you’re right.”
Ben smiled. “If we’re right, then that means you ought to go home and wash up, Daed. We’ll finish up here.”
He looked down at his clothes. He supposed he was a bit muddy. “You think I need to clean up a bit?”
Tricia nodded. “It couldn’t hurt, Jay.”
As he went inside the house to take that shower, he felt lighter. As if the weight of guilt and worry he’d been carrying around had finally been lifted. To his surprise, he also felt a little nervous. He was going courting again. And as he thought of Emma, with her perfect skin, dark blue eyes, and heart of gold, he knew he wanted to be worthy of her.
Actually, he wanted to eventually mean as much to her as she already meant to him.
That was something to truly aspire to.
JAY HAD JUST MADE a pitcher of fresh-squeezed lemonade when the kitchen door opened and William came in with Lena, Mandy, and Annie right behind. Emma brought up the rear, looking a bit like she was herding sheep.
After greeting them all, he couldn’t resist teasing Emma. “What, no matching dresses today?”
“Mamm changed,” Mandy said, her mouth in a tiny pout. “She said she needed a fresh dress. I don’t know why.”
It took everything Jay had not to smile when Emma flushed. “I gardened today,” she said. “It’s always a very warm job.”
“I had to change, too. I was out selling produce.”
William looked around and frowned. “Where are Mark and Ben?”
“They are finishing up business this afternoon at the stand. They’ll be here within the hour.”
“Oh.”
Jay noticed the three girls were staring at him like they were just waiting to be visited with. Pulling up a kitchen chair, he sat down on it so he wouldn’t be towering over them. Gentling his voice, he asked, “What did you three do today?”
Annie walked right up and showed him her finger. “I got a Band-Aid.”
He held her little palm in his and examined her finger closely. “My goodness! What happened?”
“I don’t remember.”
Jay couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “You don’t?”
“Annie likes bandages, I’m afraid,” Emma said. “To her, it’s a cure for most anything.”
Jay was about to nod when Annie surprised him and crawled onto his lap. Immediately, a feeling of warm protectiveness settled deep inside him. William had recently informed Jay that he was too old to be cuddled. Jay supposed it was true. But as Annie rested her head against his chest, Jay felt a warm surge of affection flow through him. Having Annie be so trusting of him made him want to shield her from the rest of the world and make her happy all the time. He wrapped an arm around her so she wouldn’t fall.
Annie turned her head and gazed up at him, her blue eyes seeming to take in every line and wrinkle on his face.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded, then said, “Your beard is short.”
Her statement was so blunt—and so out of the blue—he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Annie!”
Emma cried. “You mustn’t be rude.”
“It’s not rude if it’s true,” Jay replied as both Mandy and Lena stepped closer. “I trimmed most of it six months ago. I, uh, needed that symbolism, I think,” he said quietly as he met Emma’s eye. Men grew beards after they married. Most never trimmed them. But in the days after Evelyn’s death, he’d felt it was a symbol of something he’d lost. In a moment of weakness he’d trimmed it close. Now, in the Florida heat, he’d elected to keep it short. It was too hot otherwise.
“I understand,” Emma murmured.
“Do you like peanut butter?” Mandy asked.
He blinked. “Yes?”
“Oh.” She frowned as Annie crawled off his lap.
Confused, Jay looked at Emma. “Did I say the wrong thing?”
“Not at all.” Emma shook her head. “Mandy is allergic to peanuts and peanut butter so she doesn’t like to be around it.”
“I’ll make sure I don’t keep any around.”
“That’s not necessary,” Emma said.
“How about I’ll make sure none of us eat it when you are around?” he said to Mandy.
Emma smiled. “Danke.”
“Daed, can we go out and wait for Mark and Ben?” William asked, obviously bored with the concerns of little girls.
“As long as you stay near the front porch,” he said just as the kids ran out.
And then he and Emma were alone.
Suddenly, he was tongue-tied. Should he say anything about how he’d heard from Ben and Tricia that she was going courting? He ached to have it out in the open so they could both laugh at the idea of such a thing . . . and so she wouldn’t discover somehow that he’d known her intentions but never let on.
But for the life of him, he couldn’t think of a way to tell her without embarrassing her. Getting to his feet, he said, “I squeezed some lemons and made lemonade. Would you care for some?”
“Please,” she said. “I guess you had to learn to make all kinds of things after Evelyn passed on to heaven.”
“I did. But she was ill for a long time before that, too.” He pulled out the ice tray from his freezer and put several cubes in each glass. “Growing boys need to eat.”
A Wedding at the Orange Blossom Inn Page 14
