“And you’re a fine one to talk. You’ve been gadding about between Deputy Goddard and Sheriff Bryant for years now, from what I’ve heard. I’ve heard, too, that you’ve been very free with your affections, Miss Munro. You just haven’t yet had to pay the price for your pleasures which is probably a good thing. At least I know who the father of my child is. If you were in my condition, I doubt you could say as much.”
Chapter Fourteen
Hattie turned to walk away, but not before Molly’s hand came up. The slap caught her on the cheek and sent her reeling.
“How dare you speak to me that way.”
“I’m only being honest. It’s never wrong to speak the truth, you know.” She lifted her chin.
Suddenly the sheriff was between them, pushing them apart. “What’s going on here, ladies?” he asked. With the two young women a safe distance from one another, he tipped his hat and addressed them both with his sternest look. “I won’t have this sort of behavior from either of you. I don’t know what it’s about, who’s right, who’s wrong, or who started this little cat fight. I could probably make a few good guesses, especially on the latter, but that’s beside the point.” He glared at Molly as he spoke. “It’s over and done with now. I want both of you to go home, and if I ever see either of you talking to the other, for any reason…” He stopped and pushed the hat back on his head as he drew in a long breath. “In fact,” he finally continued, “if I ever see either of you approaching the other, or one of you looking at the other, I’ll—”
“You’ll do what, Caleb? Arrest us? Throw us in jail?” Molly sidled up close to the sheriff. “You’d never do such a thing to either one of us. You’re all talk, you know.” She reached up, traced a finger along the edge of his jaw, and giggled. “Hattie Mae and I were just having a little chat, and yes, I suppose I let my emotions get the best of me, but like you said, it’s over and done with now, so how about you and I step down the street and have a bite to eat at the café?” She grabbed his arm and waved Hattie away.
Once again, Miss Munro was getting off scot-free. Hattie groaned. Suddenly somebody grabbed her arm. She whirled around, surprised to see Dr. Kellerman standing at her side.
“What are you doing here? You and your wife went visiting.”
“I was called back to tend to a sick child. I expected to find my nurse on duty at the hospital, not gallivanting around town, getting into trouble.”
As the sheriff marched off with Molly, her wide hips sashaying as she walked, the doctor tightened his grip on Hattie’s arm and led her toward home.
“It wasn’t my fault!”
“I’m sure she started it, but that’s no call to make a scene, Miss Richards, especially not in your condition.”
Her condition! How many times were the good folks of Sunset going to throw those words in her face?
She attempted to pull her arm away, but his grip remained firm.
“You don’t need to hold on to me as though I were a child.”
“All right,” he replied, letting go. “You were acting like one, you know. Now, it’s time to put a stop to all the nonsense. It’s time to grow up, accept your responsibilities, and do the right thing.”
Miffed by his remarks, Hattie almost spat out a few hateful words, but she knew that would only prove his point. She was, indeed, acting like a child. Yet how dare he accuse her of shirking responsibility!
Fuming, she walked alongside him, hurrying her pace to keep up with his long-legged strides.
“Go upstairs to your room,” he ordered when they reached the hospital. “We’ll talk later when Mrs. Kellerman returns.”
“Yes, sir.”
Still fuming, Hattie climbed the staircase and slammed the door to her room.
* * * *
It was late afternoon before Dr. Kellerman summoned her to the parlor. His wife looked up from her crewel work when Hattie stepped into the room.
“Sit down, Miss Richards.” The physician pointed to a comfortable chair, upholstered in a lovely floral pattern. Although the parlor always had a warm coziness about it, the man’s formal bearing indicated that this would be a serious meeting, not a pleasant social occasion. He cleared his throat. “We’ve put this off long enough,” he said, turning to Charlotte. “Do you want to handle it, dear, or are you going to leave it to me?”
“Handle what?” At once, all of Hattie’s senses came alive, flashing warning messages to her brain. She jumped to her feet, but the doctor stood before her, blocking any hope of escape. She pressed her lips together, gave the couple an uneasy look, and then slowly backed down into the upholstered chair once more. She crossed her arms over her chest and tucked in her chin, ready to protect herself, her child, and her uncertain future.
The doctor bore down upon her. “News travels, especially news of a scandalous nature. You knew your condition wouldn’t remain a secret for long.”
“I never said a word to anyone. I don’t know how the ladies in town found out.” She glared at Charlotte. “Did you tell them?”
“No, Hattie, I promised to keep your secret, and I did. Some secrets have a way of coming to light, though. Women are quick to notice even the slightest signs. It’s often easy to put two and two together.”
“I’m not ashamed—”
“You should be,” Dr. Kellerman pointed out. “You’ve dishonored the sacredness of young womanhood, and worse, you seem to enjoy flaunting your wantonness.”
“Flaunting?” Hattie’s ears burned. She’d done nothing to flaunt any wantonness. For that matter, she didn’t feel she possessed any wantonness. As usual, Dr. Kellerman was aggrandizing the whole situation, making her out to be the wickedest, most sinful woman who’d ever been put upon the earth. Not so. In fact, it was so far from the truth, she couldn’t help but laugh.
“Do you find this amusing?” Charlotte asked, her voice uncharacteristically gentle.
Dr. Kellerman gave her no opportunity to reply. “It’s no laughing matter.”
“Sir, I think—”
Again, he cut her off quickly. “I’d hoped you would see the light sooner. It would have been much easier had this been taken care of before the truth got out. Now, there’s no way to salvage your reputation. The best that you can do now is to remove yourself as quickly and quietly as possible. Once the baby has come and you’ve regained your strength…” He let out a heavy sigh. “This is hard for me, Hattie.” He now reverted to her given name. It added an emotional urgency to his words. “In so many ways, you’ve become like a daughter to us.” Abner lowered his head.
Hattie’s heart ached. “I know you’re disappointed in me.”
“You made a mistake. A dreadful mistake.” Charlotte came to her. “That doesn’t mean we don’t care about you. We promised to help you, and we will.”
“I’m not asking for help.” Hattie squared her shoulders. “I’ll be all right. I can deal with whatever happens.”
“No, you can’t.” Abner shook his head. “We won’t let you deal with this alone.” He crossed the room, opened the drawer of a small desk in the corner, and drew out a thick envelope. “All the arrangements have been made. Tomorrow morning, we’re taking you to Sunshine Women’s—”
“A maternity home? No.” Hattie stiffened. “I won’t go. I’ve already told you that I’m not giving up my child.”
“It’s the only choice you have.” Charlotte stared down at her hands. “You can’t stay here any longer, Hattie. We can’t allow you to work here now. You need to listen to reason. Take it from one who knows. You can’t keep your child. You can’t raise your child alone.”
Tears welled in Hattie’s eyes. “How can you do this to me?”
“We’re doing it because we want the best for you.”
Dr. Kellerman looked old and tired. “I’ve got some money for you.” He tapped the envelope. “It will be enough to take care of all your expenses, and then some. When the baby comes, you’ll be able to make a new start, and I can write a letter of recommenda
tion for you, help you get enrolled in a nursing school. Isn’t that what you were wanting to do with your life?”
Confused, Hattie barely managed to nod. “Yes, but that was before…” Before she became an expectant mother. Before she realized how much having a child would mean to her. “Everything’s different now.”
“It’s going to be all right. You don’t have to sacrifice your dreams.” Charlotte walked to the desk, picked up the envelope, and carried it to Hattie. “You’ll need to sign these papers.”
“What do they say?” Hattie could guess the contents. She didn’t want to touch the hated envelope.
“This will give you information about the home where you’ll be staying.” Charlotte sighed, pulled out the packet, and glanced at it. “You’ll be identified only as Miss HMR, so do be certain you take nothing with you that has your full name.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s for your benefit.” Charlotte continued perusing the document. “You won’t be allowed to have any personal items of clothing, but suitable garments will be provided for you. No money is allowed, either, so what we’re giving you will be turned over to the director of the home. She will place it in safe-keeping for you and give it to you when you’re released. As Abner has already told you, the medical expenses have been covered.”
“I don’t want to go. I don’t want to give my baby away.”
“No, of course, you don’t want to do it, but that’s precisely the point. Hattie, don’t you see how out of touch you are with the reality of the situation? You’re living in this make-believe world, thinking that you can somehow manage on your own. You’ve got these crazy notions in your head but you don’t realize how selfish you’re being.” She made disapproving tut-tuts as she peered down at Hattie’s belly. “Look at what you’ve done. You’re pregnant. You’ve engaged in socially-unacceptable behaviors. That, in itself, proves you’re unfit to raise a child.”
“You raised your children on your own.”
Since learning the truth about the doctor and his wife, she’d come to see the couple in a much different light than before. Hattie found it disconcerting when they chose to counsel her on proper behavior as though they, themselves, were paragons of virtue.
Even though she showed due respect to the physician, she no longer held him in the same high esteem as before. He was a good man, and he deserved recognition for his ability to treat sickness, but she could not revere him as she’d once done. As for his wife, Hattie felt more disgust than pity. She knew Charlotte’s life had been difficult, yet she could have made better choices, in Hattie’s opinion.
“Yes, I raised Tom and Sally, and I did a piss-poor job of it. I gave them a life of poverty and hardship. I burdened them with the stigma of my sins. I beg of you, Hattie, don’t do that to your child.”
Hattie’s head pounded. Some of what Charlotte said made sense…didn’t it? Or had she become so lost, so out of touch, as the woman put it, that she could no longer distinguish between right and wrong?
“Get some rest tonight,” Dr. Kellerman advised, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll leave at dawn tomorrow.”
“Abner, help Hattie to the desk, please. The inkwell’s filled. Show her where she needs to sign. It’s best,” she suggested, “that we get this all taken care of now. Less to deal with tomorrow that way.”
Hattie drew in a breath. With one simple stroke of a pen, the child she carried would no longer belong to her. She felt helpless. As a little girl, she’d been surrounded by caretakers at the home, adults who knew all the answers to all of life’s problems. She’d listened carefully and had always taken their advice to heart.
“Necessity never makes a good bargain,” she muttered. But, then again, what would Benjamin Franklin know about having babies…or giving them away. Her hand trembled as she took the pen.
* * * *
She woke early the next morning, long before the sun was up. The Kellermans were still sleeping, as well. Alone in her upstairs room, Hattie walked slowly about, taking it all in and committing it to memory. This room had given her happiness with its wide windows that let in the bright sunlight, its gleaming white walls, and its cheery polished floors and colorful braided rugs.
Yes, she had been happy there, and she’d found meaning and purpose to life while working for the Kellermans. Her true joy, however, had come with Willie. He’d taught her to believe in herself, to speak her mind, and to do what she knew in her heart was right.
She had no regrets about their liaison.
Neither would she make apologies. Up to that time, her life had held few pleasures. She would never begrudge the joys she’d found in Willie’s embrace, the delights she’d known in his touch. Let the women of Sunset speak ill of her. She would forever cherish the memories of the desires Willie had sparked within her. All the while she’d thought it her duty to restore him, he’d been the one who’d truly brought her to life, the one who had shown her a world she’d never known existed.
She would not be sorry.
Placing a hand to her belly, Hattie Mae sniffled back uncertain tears. No reason to cry, she told herself. No reason other than being a woman, having a new life growing inside of her, being wholly at the mercy of her body and its crazy new demands upon her.
Would her new home—wherever it might be—offer her the same solace, the same cheeriness, the same belief that each new dawn held promise, that each new day gave reason to expect the best?
Yes, of course. For those things came from within her. Hope arose not from a ray of morning sunshine streaming through a curtained window, but from the joy that lived in her own heart. A positive outlook on life didn’t require colorful rugs underfoot or charming pictures on the wall.
Her doubts receded. She was leaving behind nothing of value.
Except Willie.
Hattie sighed and wondered again if she were making the right choice. He had proposed. Why had she turned him down? She loved him, after all. She was carrying his child.
But he wasn’t ready for marriage. His heart held too much anger, too much bitterness, and far too little forgiveness.
With valise in hand, Hattie closed the door behind her.
* * * *
The wintry winds of December nearly knocked Willie off his feet as he stepped out from the law office onto the street. Since returning to Sunset with his mother, he’d resumed clerking for George Whitmore. It was impossible, though, to concentrate on either work or study.
The cat was out of the bag, so to speak, and damn it! He was talking in adages same as Hattie Mae had done, and where in the hell was she?
He limped along the icy walk, clutching at the cane his mother insisted he use. He hated it. It made him feel like a feeble old man, but if it saved him from slipping and falling, it was worth the humiliation, he supposed. Another of the prices he had to pay for all his misdeeds.
As he’d done each evening for the past week, he headed toward Abner Kellerman’s hospital, not for any medical advice or treatment, but for yet another attempt to see Hattie. He understood her reasons for remaining hidden, but to his mind, he had every right to see her, to check on her condition, to share this event with her.
Abner and Charlotte Kellerman were wrong to deny him.
But…supposing he did need medical help? Willie grinned, pleased with his own cleverness.
Instead of going around to the residence as he usually did, that evening he rang the bell at the hospital entry. He couldn’t be turned away there…at least, not without giving him grounds to stir up a hell of a lot of trouble. Folks around Sunset were reluctant enough to visit the hospital. Let word get out that the doctor was picking and choosing whom to treat, and Dr. Kellerman could close the doors and board up the windows.
Mrs. Kellerman eyed him with disdain when she saw him. “We’ve told you, Willie—”
“My leg’s been hurting me. Thought it would be good to have the doctor take a look at it." He lifted the cane and rapped it on the fl
oor. “Can’t get around too well, I’m afraid.”
“The hell you say.” Charlotte might behave like a proper lady around others in town, but she didn’t bother putting on the act with him. He knew too much about her. Or maybe she just didn’t consider his opinion of her to matter. “I know why you’re here, Willie.”
“Of course you know. I just told you. The leg.” He pointed to it. “Are you going to call the doctor, or do you plan to look at it yourself? Should I take off my pants?”
“Have a seat. I’ll get Dr. Kellerman.”
“Maybe you could send a nurse in to help me get settled.”
“We no longer have a nurse. Excuse me. I’ll be back with the doctor.”
Willie had just taken his seat when Charlotte spoke. Never mind his bad leg. He flew off the chair and grabbed the woman by the arm.
“What do you mean? Hattie’s not working here now?” Rational thought took over. “No, of course she isn’t still working. It’s good for her to rest.”
Charlotte stared down at his hand. “Let go of me, Willie.”
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry.”
“And the leg’s still bothering you? You didn’t have much trouble getting up.”
“Mrs. Kellerman, please. Sure, the leg does bother me, but you’re right, of course. That’s not why I’m here. I want to see Hattie. Is that too much to ask?” He dropped his hand from her arm.
She must have taken pity on him. “You know, Willie, I did put in a word for you. I tried to persuade her to do the right thing and marry you. She wouldn’t listen.”
“Maybe if I keep asking enough times, she’ll finally consent. Please, may I see her?”
Charlotte shook her head. “No, you can’t. She’s not here.”
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