“So you used me?”
“What?” Her attention snapped back up to him. “That’s ridiculous.”
“You were ready to get rid of your V card and I was convenient?”
Her jaw dropped. “Seriously?”
He shrugged. “Explain it to me then. Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t lie!” she exploded back at him. “Not telling you something so personal is not lying.”
“Lies by omission. Same thing.” He shoved his fists into his pockets and turned away from her. “How do you know I would’ve stopped?” he demanded, but most of his anger had drifted away. Now it was worse. He was disappointed.
“You would have stopped,” she said softly.
“I’d like to think I would’ve stopped, but the truth is I probably wouldn’t have. You’re not that easy to resist, bella.”
“Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“But I would’ve handled it differently.”
“It was perfect.”
“You ran the first chance you got.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets and gripped the railing.
“I told you what happened…”
“Yeah. You panicked.” He swung back around to face her. “Has it occurred to you if I’d known it was your first time, and I’d taken things slower, you wouldn’t have panicked? You would’ve stayed the night and things would be very different right now.”
“No, I still would’ve left. I had class on Monday.”
Genuine surprise, then doubt flickered across his face. “I could’ve flown you back to school and we could’ve spent Sunday together. Possibly the next weekend too.”
“Flown me? What do you mean you would have flown me?”
His expression closed down and Lizzie knew.
“You have a plane too? Of course you do.” She threw her arms up before he could respond. “Why not? You have a Ferrari, two helicopters, of course you have a plane.”
He crossed his arms again. “A jet.”
“What?”
“It’s a jet, not a plane. I need an aircraft capable of international flights.”
She nodded, hysterical laughter bubbling up her throat. “Oh sorry, my bad. A jet.”
“That’s right. The same jet that is flying you back to New Orleans tomorrow.”
She shook her head in disbelief. He couldn’t be real. None of this seemed real anymore. “You really do make Tony Stark look destitute, don’t you?”
If she’d thought he was shut down before, she’d been wrong. Now he was a fortress. A complete stranger stood in front of her and said, “I honestly don’t know what I’m worth but if it’s important to you, you can ask Pam.”
“Believe me,” she assured him, “I don’t want to know.”
“Can I believe you? I’m trying to decide.”
Her breath caught as the knife went deep into her chest. “Why wait until tomorrow? Let’s go back today. I can be ready in an hour.”
He was right behind her before she could move. Arms went around her and she fought him off, but he was bigger and stronger and he had her trapped tight against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he rasped.
She was stunned because from what she’d learned about Nic, he never apologized. “I don’t care. Let me go.”
“You think I can let you go now?” He loosened his hold when she stopped struggling. “There’s been no one else?”
“No.” She lowered her eyes in defeat, once again unable to lie to him.
“And you didn’t sleep with Adam because?”
Her fingers curled into fists. “Sometimes I really hate you.”
“Answer the question, Lizzie.”
She closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath. “Because I’d already met you. Okay? Are you satisfied?”
He turned her around, pressed her back against the wall. Dark eyes swirling with anger searched her face. “Say that again.”
“I didn’t want anyone else after I met you.”
His palm pressed against her cheek. The incredulous expression on his face breaking her apart and putting her back together at the same time. She was in so far over her head that she knew she would never make it back. This thing she had for him was insidious. An addiction. A weakness she couldn’t afford. A brass ring she knew better than to grab for.
But she was going for it anyway. She had no choice. The instinct was in her genetic code.
“We’re not done.” The words grated across her skin as his head dipped toward hers, hovering over her trapped lips. “We may never be done.”
“It won’t work,” she whispered, clinging to him so she wouldn’t fall off the earth.
“It’s working perfectly.” Nic smiled against her throat. Then he was kissing her again, stealing the last of her sanity before lifting his head. “Mine,” he whispered, brushing his lips across her cheek. “Mine.”
She wasn’t going to survive him. She should walk away now. She should go back to school and focus on convincing Hatton she deserved a spot in the doctoral program. Going back to the real world was the best choice. The choice that would make her family proud. The choice that wouldn’t leave her shattered and humiliated. The only choice.
Besides, the girl Nic liked was not her. She wasn’t the light-hearted party girl. She was a focused, academic with her future mapped out. She didn’t take risks. She didn’t like chaos unless it was on a quantum level. School and research had always been her focus. It was all planned out. She had to follow the path but the man licking fire across her skin was making it harder and harder to check off those boxes. Because she didn’t have a going-insane-over-a-dangerously- sexy Italian gazillionaire on her list of things to do. She didn’t fling herself knowingly against impossible dreams she knew would destroy her.
“I’m not yours,” she told him. “You don’t know me, Nic. Not really. The girl you think you know isn’t me.”
He frowned, his head snapping back. “What?”
“You’ve seen me at parties, or weddings, but that’s not me. You wouldn’t give me a second glance if you passed me on the street.”
“I wouldn’t pass you by.”
She swallowed hard again, clenching her fingers into fists so her hands would stop shaking as she stumbled back. “We wouldn’t be on the same street. I don’t live in your world.”
He tilted his head, watching her closely, seeing through her. Or was he seeing her.
“Do you think I care where you’re from?”
He sounded so sincere. He probably meant it. For now.
Who knew how long now would last. Because Nic wouldn’t stay. He never stayed.
“It’s not where I’m from. It’s where I’m going. I have plans, things I want to do and I can’t do them with you.”
“What things?” he demanded again.
“Graduate school things,” she shot back at him. “Research. You’re…distracting. I won’t be able to concentrate if you’re around.”
“Like now?” An arrogant smile transformed his features. He liked that he distracted her.
“Exactly like now.”
“Now you aren’t in school. I’ll distract you all I want.”
When he reached for her, her fingers slid into his hair and she kissed him first. His eyelids fluttered shut and his entire body turned to steel as he let her explore his mouth. His arm tightened around her back, pulling her up until Lizzie gave in and let him take her weight. She curled her legs around lean hips and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Because she no longer wanted to deal with tomorrow.
Then he took over, devouring her, invading her system and moving through her like a narcotic. There was something desperate in the way he touched her and the way she wanted more.
“You’re cheating.”
“I always get what I want.”
She tightened her body around him as he walked her down to the cabin below deck.
He bent over the bed and lowered her down to the mattress. She let go of him, pushing the shirt o
ff his shoulders so he had no choice but to pull it off, then her hands flattened on his chest then moved around to his back, stroking up and down, then down farther to a flat stomach that led to lean hips she wanted to sink her teeth into.
“Bella,” he whispered against her mouth, catching her roving hands. “Am I distracting you?” he rasped against her ear his hands running down her overheated skin, fingers sliding between her legs and sinking deep.
She couldn’t find the breath to answer. She endured the exquisite torture of his fingers. The intensity of it grew with each purposeful circle of his thumb, scorching away her sanity.
“You like being distracted, don’t you?”
Lizzie arched, moaning as he teased her. “Yes.” She hissed the word out.
“Do you want me to stop?” He nipped at her ear.
A harsh laugh escaped her. “Do you want me to kill you?”
“What makes you think you aren’t?”
Then hard fingers plundered even deeper, pushing her head first into the blaze.
She was burning alive and cried in relief when he ripped open the condom wrapper. He reached for her, wasting no time moving over her, positioning himself then teasing her with his fingers again until she whimpered. He pushed hard and deep and flattened one hand against her back when she bowed off the bed, keeping her body arched as he moved deeper into her.
With each push and pull of his body, he stole more of her. She could feel herself slipping away. Her mind struggled against the chaos of too much beauty and sensation. Too much emotion. Too much everything. For once the numbers she relied on to explain her reality no longer made any sense. Numbers, functions and formulas danced, rushing around in a fiery swirl, no longer making sense. They wanted to burst into light and blaze until they burned out.
Lizzie went up in flames so hot she couldn’t let go. The universe seemed to shrink down to the connection between their bodies. Nic went deeper, moved harder with each thrust until Lizzie could no longer feel where she started and Nic ended. Her eyes flew open again as her mind tried to make sense of what was happening. Her brain faltered. For the first time in her life her mind went blank. A cascade failure of heat, light, and chaos blew through her like a solar wind.
Then what used to be Lizzie understood it all.
It was all clear. She finally understood that she would never understand. They were too complicated. There was no solution. She and Nic were an uncountable set.
“Stay with me.” Gentle words pulled her back from the abyss spreading out in front of her. “Stay with me.”
How could she stay? There was no way to stay. Dark matter formed right in front of her. It wrapped around her, slid under her skin and into her veins like liquid lightning. She tried to hold on but the burn was reaching deep into her muscles. He whispered against her ear, holding her back with him as her whole body threatened to dissolve into light. His voice kept her solid while he drove in and out creating something new and dangerous inside her. She clung to him helpless as the dark matter went supernova hurling her in a million different directions and breathing life back into every fantasy she’d ever had about him.
Still he whispered to her, “Mine. Mine. Mine.”
“Mine. Ragazza pericolosa.” He groaned against her throat and the distant part of her brain still functioning knew he was lost. A second later, Nic blew apart, dragging them into an event horizon where everything stopped and the light turned inside out.
Oblivion, Lizzie decided, was perfect.
Later, draped across his chest, fighting sleep because she didn’t want the sun to rise, she said, “I should have told you. I’m sorry.”
His arm tightened around her and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She turned her face to his, smiling at the sated and tousled man smiling back at her. Her heart ached. How was she going to leave him tomorrow?
He kissed her again. “Don’t lie to me again, Lizzie. I can forgive a lot of things but not that.”
The drive to Miami was quiet but this time Lizzie was awake for all of it. She spent a lot of time watching the water pass by. It made her strangely homesick for New Orleans. She and Jen always tried to hold their breath when they crossed the Pontchartrain but the bridge out of the Keys was too long.
When they hit the turnpike, Nic’s phone rang. The sound was so alien it took Lizzie a minute to realize what it was. She froze. She’d forgotten about her phone. She hadn’t checked it once since talking to Jen. She hadn’t gone this long without a cell phone since Katrina.
“Rogan and Angie are flying back with us.” He darted another glance at her as he ended the call. He dropped the phone on the console caught her hand, pulling it to rest on his thigh.
“Is she going to be upset if I’m on the plane?”
He squeezed her hand. “My jet. My rules.”
“Jet,” Lizzie corrected herself. The water was so clear.
He lifted her fingers to his mouth for a gentle kiss.
He believed everything was settled. He thought because he wanted something the universe would change direction to make sure it happened. Lizzie knew better. If the universe suspected you needed or wanted something too much, it would take it away. Because anything that good, the universe wanted for itself.
When they pulled up at the airstrip, Lizzie wasn’t sure why she was so shocked. Had she expected a single engine plane? Really? She should know better by now. No, the private jet was huge, but then it would need to be if he was flying around the world checking his five-star resorts and casinos.
She stepped out of the luxury SUV. It probably cost a year’s tuition. She took a deep breath and reminded herself to stop forgetting who and what Nic was. It was so hard to remember he had more money than some small countries. She just saw a beautiful man, who smiled more often and looked years younger than he had a week ago.
She followed him up the steps and into the interior of the jet. It redefined luxury for her in a way she hadn’t dreamed of. The plane was a masterpiece of understated elegance. It screamed money that didn’t care it was money. It didn’t have the traditional rows of seats. It had captain-style chairs gathered around a huge flat screen TV. Nothing felt like the inside of an airplane.
Nic steered her into one of the butter-soft captain chairs. “I’ll be right back.”
A quick kiss on the forehead and he left her to meet with his pilot. She was surfing through movie options when he returned a few minutes later.
“You finding everything you need?”
She set the remote control down and leaned back in the comfortable chair. “I guess. You live in a different stratosphere.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
“I don't see how. I’ve never seen anything like this plane.
“You aren’t exactly impoverished, Lizzie.”
“Me? I own a car, a smart phone and some really great shoes. This—” she waved her arm around, “—different planet.”
He sat down on the low table in front of her. “Your father owns the tallest building in New Orleans and just signed an eight-figure deal with Alexander Volikov to supply parts for Volikovneft’s deep water drilling platforms.”
Lizzie shrugged. “He doesn’t have a private jet.”
“He does have a mansion on Lake Pontchartrain.”
“He built it after Katrina because my mother didn’t want to live in the city anymore. We're new money. There’s no way I’m at home here in your luxury jet after spending the week on your yacht.”
“Fishing trawler,” he corrected. “My yacht’s at Lake Como.”
“See? That’s exactly what I mean.” She bit her lip and tried not to laugh at him. She wasn’t trying to be funny. “I bet you have a house there too.”
He shrugged, then gave her his slow sexy smile. Spellbound, she couldn’t look away.
“A little place in Bellagio. We’ll visit when we go to Italy.”
“I have one question.”
“I’m afraid.” He caught her hands, pulling her
forward until she had no choice but to stand with him. Then he switched places and she was in his lap.
She laughed, trying to get comfortable and moving around more than necessary. He hissed in reaction then settled her across his legs. She pouted a little and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Ask your question.”
Her fingers played with the top button of the linen shirt he wore. “Do you have flight attendants who double as strippers?”
His eyebrows rose. “No, but if you're offering to dance for me, I’ll have a pole installed straight away.”
“I have two left feet.”
“Liar, I have danced with you on more than one occasion.”
“All of which led to serious trouble.”
He lifted his head. “I love trouble, Lizzie. Haven’t you figured that out yet? Now open your mouth, bella, and let me kiss you properly before we’re interrupted.”
She smiled at his unearthly beautiful face and wished on every shooting star she’d ever seen. Then he kissed her properly.
Lizzie hadn’t expected Angie to be nice to her, but she also hadn’t expected her to act like she didn’t exist. Granted, she had Zachary with her and spent most of her time entertaining the little boy while Rogan installed his travel seat.
Lizzie took her cue from her and pretended everything was fine. It was easy to do since the strain lining Rogan’s face was gone. He was happy, so Lizzie was happy for him.
He gave her a questioning look when he set Zachary down. Zachary threw himself at Nic. Lizzie smiled when Nic swung him up high and spoke to him in Italian. Zachary laughed and tried to answer in English. Nic raised an eyebrow and the little boy giggled out a few words back in stilted Italian as he patted Nic’s face with his hands.
“You okay, cher?” Rogan dragged her attention away from the exchange when he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
“I’m tired.”
“I’m not going to ask any more questions, because it would be wrong to beat the shit out of him before the plane takes off.”
“Don’t you dare.”
Rogan tapped her nose with his index finger. Something he’d done since she was a kid. It always made her smile. “You say the word and he’s toast.”
Solving for Nic (Self Made Men...Southern Style Book 2) Page 15
