Solving for Nic (Self Made Men...Southern Style Book 2)

by Lexxi Callahan

  “Run that by me again?”

  All the hairs at the back of her neck rose. She turned around and he was closer. This time, she didn’t care. “Did you think Angie wouldn’t tell me? Because the second you shut me up in the car with her, she threw Xia Chang at me.”

  “What?” The word escaped on a choked breath as he moved away from her like she’d burned him. “What did she say?”

  “What do you think? She was manic telling me about the woman you really love and how she’s the only long-term relationship you’ve ever had. You play around with other women when you aren’t in Hong Kong. Xia overlooks it because you always go back to her.” Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut. The words hurt so much she needed a minute. “You were going back to Hong Kong because you were done with me.”

  “And you believed her?” He wasn’t looking at her now. His fists were thrust in his jeans and his back was to her.

  “I didn’t want to but there are photographs all over the Internet. I can see why you would be in love with her. She’s perfect for you.”

  “Yes,” he agreed, cutting her to the bone. “She is. She trusts me and she doesn’t hide who she is from me but—”

  He stopped at her strangled gasp. She turned away before he could see her, and leaned against the door, willing herself to stay on her feet. He hadn’t denied any of it. Pain burned down her skin. The last spark of hope flicked out. She’d hoped maybe Angie had been lying to hurt her. The little spark had been the only thing anchoring her to the ground. Now it was gone.

  It was shockingly anticlimactic. The world didn’t have the decency to end. How could the earth keep spinning while she bled out?

  She could feel the doorknob under her fingers and wrenching it open was easier than she expected.

  Nic watched Lizzie stumble out of the room. Despite all his instincts telling him to stop her, he stayed rooted to the spot. Betrayal had blindsided him and he just couldn’t move. He should be used to it by now. Everyone eventually destroyed his trust in them. Maybe he expected too much from people.

  Coming from his sister, it was more than he could bear. He’d practically given Andreas Maretti two billion dollars because he didn’t want Angie’s family to lose everything. He’d invested money in Angie’s husband’s company. He’d let Angie work for his company although it meant employing additional people to make sure she didn’t make things worse.

  She was the one person in the world he considered family and what had she done? Minutes after he’d confided in her that Lizzie meant something to him so could she please make an effort to get along with her? She’d told Lizzie a pack of lies and destroyed something Nic was only beginning to appreciate. He imagined he could feel the knife Angie had plunged into his back when she told Lizzie all the lies.

  But the real gut wrenching betrayal was Lizzie believing them.

  She should’ve known better. She should have trusted him.

  She should have answered his phone calls. Instead she’d run away. Again. Like she was trying to do right now.

  “Stop!” He’d followed her into the hall without realizing that he’d moved.

  She froze in front of the door.

  He cleared his voice and softened his tone. “The pictures. Were they of the Black and White ball?”

  She nodded but kept her back to him.

  “It was business, Lizzie. A charity fundraiser. I’m on the board. I couldn’t get out of it.”

  “Oh.” Sarcasm drowned her usual sunny tone. She turned and leaned back against the door. She was pale and the pain in her eyes took his breath away. His first instinct was to kiss her and make all this go away but he was pretty sure if he touched her right now she would scratch his eyes out. “That makes it so much better.”

  He took a step toward her, trying not to let the smug satisfaction coursing through him show on his face. She was so jealous she was trembling. The hope it gave him was like a shot of adrenalin straight to his heart. “If you had answered my calls, I could’ve explained but you didn’t, did you? You grabbed hold of everything she said and used it as another excuse to run.”

  “That’s not true. I didn’t run.”

  “You always run, Lizzie. Look what you’re doing right now.”

  “I’m leaving because you’ve turned me into the person your sister accused me of being. How could you? How?”

  Her knees gave way and she started to slide down the door. It broke something in him watching her. “It’s not what you think, bella.”

  “No!” She waved her arms at him as if trying to ward him off. “I don’t want to hear it. I want you to go.”

  Nic wasn’t going anywhere. He took a few careful steps toward her. “You are so beautiful, Lizzie, it’s hard to look at you straight on.”

  “Don’t.” Her reply was muffled but he heard the sob.

  “The first time I saw you, you took my breath away. You were dancing with your father and I couldn’t believe innocence like that still existed. I asked you to dance to prove to myself it was an illusion, but you made me forget my own name. You have no idea what you did to me. What you still do to me. I lay awake at night and I can feel you all around me. Taste you, smell you. Then I open my eyes and none of it’s real. Because not once have you ever trusted me enough to be honest.”

  Lizzie gasped as his words hit home. “No.”

  “Angie lied to you.” The words were jagged as they ripped out of him. “You believed every word of it without giving me a chance to defend myself.”

  Had she hurt him? It hardly seemed possible. Annoy him? Maybe. But hurt him?

  Well, she had and the guilt hurt worse than anything.

  “We were in a relationship but it ended two years ago when she took over my Asian Division. But when we were together, it wasn’t exclusive. It was more business than anything else. She knows everyone who’s anyone.” His smile was bleak. “She’s about twelve years older than me, and marriage has never been on Xia’s agenda.”

  She believed him. Every word. Even though it made her feel worse. So much for being a grown up. She should have answered her phone. She should have given him a chance to explain. Her eyes closed and she dragged in a jagged breath. She didn’t know what else to do. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, hit the call back button and held it up to her ear.

  When his smart phone rang a second later, the shocked expression on his face made it difficult not to laugh. But she knew she’d just end up crying. “You might want to get that.” Her throat was so sore she could hardly speak. “I’m calling you back. I’m an idiot.”

  “No.” He closed the distance between them as he said, “It’s my fault. We should never have left the Keys.” Then his hands were on her face, his thumbs sweeping away escaping tears. “We should go back there now.”

  She leaned her face into his touch.

  “Next time you run, bella.” He cleared his throat, his voice sounding as raspy as hers. “You run to me, not away from me.”

  “Okay.” She took another deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to believe her. It’s just that we don’t add up.”

  “That’s not true.” His other hand moved into her hair, soothing around to her neck.

  She tried to smile at him, but failed miserably. “Do you know anything about set theory?”

  His thumb stroked her cheekbone. “Not a thing.”

  “Some sets are too complicated to count.” She tried to explain, knowing he wasn’t going to get it. No one ever got her. “We’re like that. We’re uncountable. Your sister hates me. Your father hates my family. My father hates your father. Your sister thinks Rogan and I are cheating and on and on. It’s too much, too complicated.”

  “None of that has anything to do with us.”

  “You don’t understand. If we were just irrational numbers I think we’d be okay but the uncountable thing is hard to overcome. We don’t make sense together.”

  His smile caught her off guard. “Who cares if we don’t make sense?”


  “I care.” She moved her face away from his hand. “I don’t like when things don’t make sense. I need for them to make sense.”

  “I get that, but this…us…” He waved his hand back and forth between them. “It may never make sense.”

  “You still don’t understand. I was playing dress up.”

  “Dress up?”

  “Decorative girl. Ditzy fun Lizzie. All about shoes, toenail polish and achieving the perfect tan. That’s not me.”

  “You don’t like to paint your toenails?” He stared down at the green polish on her toes.

  She covered up the toes, one foot with her other foot. “No, yes—”

  “You pretended to like diving?” He was watching her for any sign of weakness.

  “No.” Her voice shook as hope threatened to destroy her all over again. “I loved diving. It was one of the best experiences of my life.”

  “The orgasms?” His voice rolled over her like silk as one hand moved down her back. “Were you faking those too?”

  “No.” Her eyes fluttered shut and she swallowed. The wall was at her back and he blocked out the world from the front.

  “You know what I think?”

  Lethargy stole through her as one hand went to her waist and the other around her neck.

  “No.” The world would be so much easier if she could tell what he was thinking?

  “I think you can be a genius and wear great shoes. You can be whatever girl you want to be as long as we’re together and you said it, Lizzie, you can’t take it back now. We’re a set.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. Hope flickered inside her. Was it possible? “You don’t mind?”

  “Mind what?” He tilted his head in confusion.

  “My math problem?”

  He straightened, his mouth opening and closing on a silent Oh. Then a slow, sexy smile transformed his face into an unearthly beauty and Lizzie stopped breathing. The world stopped turning. Everything ceased to exist but them.

  “Are you asking me if I mind—” he paused, his expression serious, “—that you make Tony Stark look stupid?”

  Time stopped. Shock coursed through her as he turned her joke around on her. Her jaw parted and laughter started to escape. He got her. He really did. Joy sparked inside her as he leaned to kiss her but before he could she pushed to her tiptoes threw her arms around his neck and kissed him first.

  Hard.

  Pushing into his mouth, devouring him, clawing his shirt up and over his head. Her mouth was on his throat, kissing and licking him. Nic groaned, his head falling back. She breathed his name against his skin. When he tried to take back control, she fought back with her mouth and tongue. “My turn.”

  She levered up forcing him to catch her weight. She curled her legs around his hips. He’d given up control and it went straight to Lizzie’s head. His taste streamed through her, slowed everything down and turned her to honey inside. She needed to punish him and make up for everything. She needed to stake her claim. She used her mouth to brand hot kisses at the base of his throat anywhere she could get to while he walked them into the great room and sat down on one of the large club chairs.

  She straddled him, her knees going to either side of him, but didn’t stop kissing him. His hands were free so he tried to slide them under her shirt. She batted them away. “Stop it,” she warned him without removing her lips from his skin. “You’re distracting me and it’s my turn.”

  “I like distracting you.” He gasped.

  She nipped him then.

  “Okay.” He groaned in surrender and his head fell back on the chair. “You can have my next turn too.”

  Lizzie raised her head and smiled down at him. She kissed his forehead and the tip of his nose, then indulged herself by letting her fingers drift down to those classical cheekbones. He didn’t try to stop her as she explored every chiseled hollow, touched every angle before rubbing the backs of her hand against the shadowy scruff.

  “I need to shave,” he muttered, his eyelids heavy as he relaxed into her touch.

  “I like the scruff.” She continued her exploration, smoothing his eyebrows with her thumbs. Her thumbs moved up to make a small arc on his forehead, then massaged from the bridge of his nose to his hairline, then down his temples, lingering when a small sigh of pleasure escaped him. Her fingers moved down the sides of his face, skimming over his cheekbones, his jaw and across the slight dent of his bottom lip. “Leave the scruff.”

  His hand covered her fingers and pressed them against his mouth as he spoke. “Yes, ma’am. No shaving.”

  She captured some of his beard between her fingers and tugged. “Maybe a trim.”

  He opened his eyes, his face more relaxed than she’d ever seen him. His eyes were warm and open and she could see Nic. The real Nic. The human being who needed affection as much as he needed oxygen. He hadn’t had much, she realized. The elegant women he’d dated until now didn’t want to mess up their makeup. She couldn’t imagine Xia Chang ruffling her fingers through his hair.

  She pressed a leisurely kiss to the middle of his forehead, emotion burning her throat as she blinked back tears.

  “I missed you.” His whisper was more of a rumble.

  Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut because she knew he wouldn’t appreciate knowing her heart was breaking for the isolated little boy who, through no help from the family who had failed him on every level, had grown into a good man.

  She couldn’t leave him now, not until he asked her to go. She knew it was the height of stupidity to think she was different from the women who had passed through his life. They had all wanted to be different too.

  Except, she suspected Nic might actually need her. As astonishing as that might be, she knew on an instinctive level it was true and that he likely did not understand it yet. She, on the other hand, didn’t need anything from Nic. She wanted him. She was choosing him and her family would understand and support her. Maybe her family could be the family Nic deserved.

  “You’re so serious all of a sudden,” he teased her.

  “I’m usually serious.” She sat back so she could see his face. “I hope you’re not too disappointed?”

  “Disappointed? With what?”

  “Me.” Her chin dropped. “Boring math geek Lizzie.”

  “Boring?” His hands landed on her hips and he moved her until the hard ridge in his jeans had her hissing in response. “Do I feel bored to you?”

  Her head fell back as she said, “No, you definitely don’t feel bored.”

  “How do I feel?” The rasp in his voice made her smile wicked.

  She rocked against him. “Impressive.”

  He sat up, and steadied her when she lost balance. “You didn’t make anything up,” he said against her mouth. “You feel the same. You taste the same. Same girl. My girl.”

  She blinked back more stupid tears. She was going to see about having her tear ducts removed. His fingertips brushed the moisture off her cheeks and she gave him a helpless smile.

  “I can’t help it. I cry when I see old people in coffee shops, cute puppy pictures…”

  “You feel things so deeply.” He smoothed the stray tears back. “Everything will be okay, Lizzie. Trust me.”

  She did trust him, she realized. She absolutely did.

  His cell phone rang dragging them back to reality. He kept her in his lap while he talked to Pam. She had to bat away grabby hands more than once but the tone of his voice never changed. “We’ve got a flight time in two hours. How quickly can you be ready to go?”

  “Go where?”

  “Houston. I’ve got a few things to sort out then we can go wherever you want.”

  “Key Largo. I want to go diving again.”

  “Or Italy. I’ve always wanted to go diving in Portofino.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “I don’t have a passport.”

  “I’ll get Pam on it.”

  “What would we do without Pam?”

  As soon as the plane was in the air, Lizzi
e found take out from her favorite Thai restaurant. Pam again. Lizzie couldn’t wait to finally meet wonder woman in person.

  While the food warmed in the microwave, she searched for paper plates but found fine china instead. She sighed. She was going to have to get used to things like this. She traced the dark blue and gold Maretti logo in the center of the gold-rimmed plate. Nic had probably never eaten off a paper plate. The microwave dinged. She arranged the food on the plates and took them back to the main cabin.

  Nic had opened a bottle of wine and had two glasses waiting. “Ah, you made dinner. Looks good.”

  “I love Pam.” Lizzie grinned.

  She squeezed lime quarters on the noodles while he tried to steal the eggplant out of her curry. She pretended to get upset, even though she hated eggplant. She’d missed these silly moments. She dreaded losing the comfortable silences. The filled holes in her life numbers couldn’t reach. Numbers weren’t enough. She needed Nic too.

  “This does not count as a date,” she warned him as she headed to the galley. “Do you want coffee? I can manage coffee.”

  “Sounds great.”

  She joined him a few minutes later with two steaming cups.

  “What a good flight attendant you are,” he said when she handed him the cup.

  She couldn’t help the giggle bubbling out of her. “I need a uniform. Something short and made from the early sixties. Oh, and a pillbox hat.”

  “And go-go boots?”

  “Definitely go-go boots.”

  “What color?” He set his coffee down and held his hand out for her.

  “Hot pink.”

  “Come here,” he growled.

  She shook her head. “We’re not supposed to fraternize, you know. I’m not allowed to flirt with anyone but the captain.”

  His arm snaked around her waist. He caught her coffee cup before it went flying and she fell back in his lap.

  “What color panties would you wear under this super short mod dress?”

  “Oh.” She pouted, looking over her shoulder at him with a sly, wicked smile. “The boss won’t allow us to wear panties. He hates panty lines.”