Sunday – after last meal
I almost died of fear when Spicy spilled gravy on a guest’s dress, broke a plate and chipped a cup while servin’ dinner. I thought Miz Lilly was goin’ to kill her. Miz Lilly promised her guests: “She’s goin’ straight to the tobacco fields tomorrow.” I saw Spicy smile. She wanted to get sent to the fields – to get away from bein’ ’round Mas’ Henley and Miz Lilly. That was a silly way to go ’bout it, and I told her so, later on. Anyway, Spicy’s plan didn’t work. ’Cause just to spite his wife, Mas’ Henley took sides with Spicy. Say all Spicy needs is to be trained.
“Why do you care what happens to me?” Spicy asked me later.
“I saw your back and I wouldn’t want that to happen to you again – not to nobody! And I like you—” Spicy looked real surprised – like nobody had ever said that to her before.
So for now, Spicy stays with us in the kitchen. And I’m glad. I think she might be, too.
First Sunday in May
Cooked and served three meals. Two house guests. Toted waters for baths. Helped with the clean up. I am so tired. No spirit to write. I’ve still got to wash out my dress, so I’ll start the week clean.
Monday night
Aunt Tee sent me down to the Quarters to take a ointment to Aggie. Spicy went ’long. Wook tries to be nice. But for some reason, Missy done took a dislikin’ to Spicy. That Missy is really changin’. I showed her Little Bit, and she laughed at me ’bout still playin’ with dolls. Later, Spicy told me not to worry ’bout what Missy say. “People teases you sometimes ’cause they know it’ll make you mad.”
I asked her why she let Hince’s teasin’ make her so mad then?
“I hate my name,” she say. “Spicy! Whoever heared of such a silly name? My mama was all set to call me Rose. But our ol’ mistress say no, and named me Spicy. Mama had to do it – couldn’t say nothin’ ’bout it.”
The more I learn ’bout Spicy the more I like her, but the more I hurt deep down for her, too.
Day later
Hince hardly ever comes to the kitchen since he and Spicy had that bad fallin’ out. So, I been goin’ to the stables whenever I get a chance. “Is Spicy mean to you?” Hince asked me.
“Not at all.” I told him Spicy is just totin’ a lot of hurt from the way she been treated. He nodded a understandin’. I really do like her a lot. I think she might be my friend. I wrote F-R-I-E-N-D-S. This time I seen Hince, Wook and now Spicy. Missy aine even now in the picture.
Wednesday
Hince and Mas’ Henley been goin’ to horse races most every week. They rode off last night, on the way to Southampton. Hince is a mighty fine jockey – wins a heap of money for Mas’ Henley.
Wednesday evenin’
I can smell the word K-I-T-C-H-E-N and see it, too. It always smells good – herbs hangin’ from the eaves, dryin’. Hickory chips slow-burnin’ on the back fire. A pot bubblin’ or boilin’. Aunt Tee loves her big, four-hip fireplace where four grown women can stand side by side and cook together. She’s truly the mistress of Belmont’s kitchen.
Miz Lilly was in the kitchen today chatterin’ on ’bout what she wanted fixed for a special dinner. Aunt Tee just say, “Yes, Miz Lilly,” but in the end, Aunt Tee cooked what she always fixes on Wednesday.
I had to tell Spicy how Aunt Tee and Mas’ Henley get along. Mas’ Henley be real particular ’bout what goes in his mouth. He don’t trust nobody but Aunt Tee to fix his food. I once heared him say, he wouldn’t eat behind a cook he had to beat – scared of bein’ poisoned, I s’pose. Aunt Tee know just who she cooks for, and it aine Miz Lilly. “Mas’ ’spects to have fried chicken and whipped potatoes on Wednesdays and that’s what I fixed.” And that’s what we served to the guests tonight.
Next day
Tellin’ Spicy the way things work here at Belmont is fun. Last night I ’splained to her why Mas’ Henley favours Aunt Tee, but all the time ’gainst Uncle Heb. The best way for her to get an understandin’ was to start at the beginnin’ – back when Mas’ Henley first come to Belmont.
Uncle Heb was here at Belmont when Mas’ Henley married Miz Lilly who was a widow-woman with one child. Uncle Heb ran the place, keepin’ the orchards goin’ and all.
Word tell, Uncle Heb was once a tall, handsome man. Even now, all crippled from hard work and age, he still look good. First thing when he got here, Mas’ Henley wanted to sell Uncle Heb. Miz Lilly wouldn’t have it. Uncle Heb had been born here at Belmont. Him and Miz Lilly’s daddy, David Monroe, was boys together. Miz Lilly likes to brag that presidents and governors have ate here at Belmont.
Uncle Heb loves to brag, too. “Been all over this ’Merican land,” he say, callin’ up memories of when he travelled ’round with David Monroe. He say he been everywhere. “Take the time me and the Mas’er went to Richmond Norfolk … Jamestown … even been to Mount Vernon. Been everywhere, all over this big ’Merican country.” I would give anythin’ to see just one of them places.
Hince is the onlyest one of us who done travelled further than Uncle Heb. I remember once, William told me there were ghosts in the woods and a big snake lived there. It ate up all slaves who dared to leave Belmont. It was Uncle Heb who taught me better. Everybody young and old loves the old man – everybody ’cept’n Mas’ Henley – and that’s ’cause he’s part of Miz Lilly’s family. “Mas’ Henley aine nothin’ but white trash who married into a fine Virginia family,” say Uncle Heb. He’s never had no use for his new master.
Saturday
There was a gatherin’ down in the barn tonight, ’cause Wook jumped the broom with Lee – a man from the Teasdale Plantation – near ’bout twice Wook’s age. Mas’ Henley came down to the party and said a few words ’bout wantin’ them to have lots and lots of babies.
I cain’t believe Wook is married. She’s only a few years older than me – and I aine near ’bout ready to be married. And by the look on Wook’s face she aine ready neither. I didn’t even know she was lookin’ at boys. Now, she’s married – and I didn’t even know it. Why didn’t she tell me?
All of us from the kitchen were there. Spicy came, even though she didn’t want to. Uncle Heb cut roses for each one of us to put in our hair. I took the red one and Spicy liked the yellow one. She looks happier than when she came here, but her eyes still hold a lot of sorry.
Hince got back. He was there, dancin’ with all the girls. The only man that aine married here at Belmont is Hince. Everybody’s wonderin’ who will Hince jump the broom with? The way Missy been lookin’ at him, I think she’d say yes to him today. But Hince can do better than Missy. I sure hope so.
Hince does know how to have a good time. Ever since I can remember he’s danced with me first. Tonight, he passed right by and asked Spicy to dance first. I was surprised and a bit put-out. I ’spose it was his way of makin’ up to her. I didn’t think Spicy would dance with him – but I was wrong.
When she stood up, everybody started gigglin’. Everybody knows how clumbsy Spicy can be. But she fooled us all, kickin’ up her heels and pattin’ the juba better than anybody ’round here had seen before.
I saw a side of Spicy I didn’t know was there. She was happy, smilin’ big, light-footed, free as a bird. Spicy wasn’t clumbsy at all when she was dancin’. Lookin’ at Hince and her turnin’ together, made me forget that I was mad at Hince for not dancin’ with me first. It was all right.
After that dance, everybody was askin’ Spicy to cut a pigeon wing or shoo fly. Nobody asked me to dance. Even if they did, Aunt Tee wouldn’t let me, ’cause she say I’m not courtin’ age yet. Just Hince, ’cause he’s like a brother.
It was such a good party – but I don’t think Wook enjoyed one minute of it. She just sat with her arms folded, lookin’ sad. If she didn’t want to get married, why did she?
Sunday
Hince came to worship service for the first time this mornin’. Only ’cause Aunt Tee made him. He sat between Spicy and me and made faces, tryin’ to make us laugh. Aunt Tee pinched m
e on the arm to make me behave. All the time Missy rolled her eyes at us. Then afterwards, we all had to hurry back to get supper on the table. But Missy jumped in front of Spicy. “Jus’ ’cause you up in the Big House with the white folks, don’t mean you gon’ get to marry Hince. He gon’ jump the broom with me, so don’t you be lookin’ at him, you hear?” And she strutted away.
Hince aine thinkin’ ’bout jumpin’ the broom with nobody. Missy just wanted to say somethin’ mean to Spicy. But I cain’t help but think – Spicy and Hince? Now that’s a match I wouldn’t have put together. But the more I think ’bout it, and remember them dancin’ together – the better I like the idea. Spicy and Hince.
Monday
I been learnin’ a lot durin’ study time. I know the seasons, the days of the week, the months and the order they come in. Mostly, we tell time by the sun, the moon and what’s happenin’ on that day. The rains have set in and it’s hard to tell one day from the next – just grayness. No sun. Everythin’ I touch feels dampish.
Tuesday
Wook waved at me from the fields. I waved back. Aunt Tee say I cain’t keep company with Wook any more, ’cause she’s a married woman. “Girls and women ought not to mingle.”
When I write Wook’s name, I sees her bein’ a growed-up woman with a husband. A part of me wants to be round and full like Wook, or maybe a little bit wild and pretty like Missy, or even tall and strong-lookin’ like Spicy. But I aine none of those things. But if I could be – I’d like to be just a little bit pretty.
I’ve looked at myself in Miz Lilly’s mirror before. I aine what you call homely, but I’d like for my teeth not to be so big. My head sits square on my shoulders, but I’d like to be taller – stronger. I guess I’m all right, but I don’t feel all right.
Wednesday
It was durin’ the dark of night when Rufus came knockin’ at the kitchen door, hollerin’ and all in a sweat. Aggie was ’bout to give birth. I begged Aunt Tee to let me go with her durin’ the birthin’, but she aine never let me go and she didn’t this time neither. She took Spicy. I was mad and sat in a huff. Big girls got to do all kinds of things. I wasn’t little any more and I wasn’t a growed up woman. I was somethin’ in between.
I fumed and fussed until they got back, and I made Spicy tell me everythin’ – everythin’. Aunt Tee was right. Mid-wifein’ aine for me. I don’t think I ever want to see a baby bein’ birthed – not after what Spicy say went on. But I looked close at the smile on Spicy’s face while she was tellin’ me that Rufus and Aggie had a big, healthy boy. “And I helped to get him here,” she say real excited-like. Spicy had light in her eyes. I heard happy in her voice, and I knew Aunt Tee was right to take Spicy along.
Next day
All I can think ’bout today is that Aggie and Rufus have now made Mas’ Henley the owner of 28 slaves. Their little baby don’t belong to them – he belongs to Mas’ Henley.
Followin’ day
I went to see the new baby today. I picked a bunch of wildflowers to take to Aggie. Aunt Tee sent a basket of good things she had been holdin’ back for Aggie to eat ’cause she’s nursin’ and needs the nourishmentation.
Wook showed me her new baby brother. It felt so good to hold him – so soft. Aggie and Rufus be so proud. I see why. Their baby boy is so beautiful. Aunt Tee seen to it that Mas’ Henley ’llows new mothers a week free from the fields after havin’ a baby. Aggie will get to be with her son for a whole week – just him and her.
I finally got a chance to talk to Wook and I found out about her gettin’ married. Like I suspicioned, Wook hates bein’ married. But Mas’ Henley made her marry Lee. See, Miz Lilly keeps up with the girls who come of age, and she tells Mas’ Henley. When Wook turned fifteen, he told her to choose a husband. When she didn’t, he picked out Lee – said they’d make strong babies. “Lee don’t love me,” she said. “And I don’t love him. This aine no marriage.”
“Aunt Tee and Uncle Heb didn’t love each other when they got married, but they grew to, later on. Maybe you and Lee will come to care ’bout each other.” I didn’t believe what I was sayin’ and neither did Wook. How can they, when they don’t even-now live together? Lee can only get passes once in a while.
Is that goin’ to happen to me? When I come of age, is Mas’ Henley gon’ make me marry somebody just so I can have babies for him to own? I won’t let that happen to me. I won’t.
Saturday
All week we been busy cleanin’ the Big House. Winter dirt been scrubbed away to make room for summer dust. We’ve all worked until our hands be raw and our backs ache. Aunt Tee made a salve to help the soreness. She makes me watch when she’s makin’ up stuff. I know the recipes to all kinds of salves and potions, but she done forbidden me to tell anyone her secrets. It makes me feel bad sometimes that Aunt Tee tells me her secrets, ’cause I’m scared to tell her mine.
Later on
An old gamblin’ friend of Mas’ Henley’s, Stanley Graves, been here for a day or so. Miz Lilly been takin’ her meals with William. Not that she wanted to, but to spite Mas’ Henley. She don’t ’prove of his gamblin’.
While Spicy and me was a-servin’ dessert, we overheard Graves and Mas’ talkin’ about abolistines. I listened to as much as I dared. Graves say they think the abolistines might run a man for president of the United States. I know ’bout the president from study time. He’s the mas’er of all the other mas’ers. If the president is a abolistine, then he can do ’way with slavery and the mas’ers can’t stop him.
I heared a new word. Cecession. I’m gon’ add it to my list of words to know.
Third Sunday in May
I read the calendar on Mas’ Henley’s desk. It is Sunday, May 22, 1859. Rufus talked ’bout the Garden of Eden this mornin’. God’s garden, filled with peace, love, no hurt, no sufferin’ and no slavery. There aine no such place ’round here and that’s for sure. All through service we could hear Mas’ Henley and Miz Lilly fightin’ again – shoutin’ mean words, flyin’ every which way. That means it’s gon’ be hard on Spicy and me when we have to ’tend her. She just as soon slap us for bein’ in the room as to not.
After Sunday late meal, I came here to write in my special spot. I just wrote B-O-A-T, and I sees a boat full of people sailin’ past Belmont on their way somewhere. I wave at them. They wave back. Wonder are they thinkin’ ’bout me the way I’m thinkin’ ’bout them? Wonder are there any abolistines on that boat?
Days later
Rained all yesterday and today – no scary thunder and lightnin’ – just a steady drip, drip, drop. Been so damp, mould is creepin’ up the side of the kitchen walls. We spent the mornin’ scrubbin’ the walls down with vinegar water.
After last meal, Aunt Tee sent Spicy down to the stables with Hince’s dinner. She come back just a-smilin’. “Well, I do declare,” say Aunt Tee, lookin’ real surprised. “I b’lieve Spicy is sweet on Hince.”
Aunt Tee is ’bout the last one to catch on. Everybody’s talkin’ ’bout how the two of them been lookin’ at each other in that special way. I knew it since the party. Spicy and Hince. Spicy is a different person from when she come here. Different in a good way. Spicy and Hince. That Missy is ’bout to have a cat fit. Good.
Next afternoon
It’s Thursday. I shall never forget this day. William almost caught me readin’. Lordy, I got to be more careful. I was dustin’ Mas’ Henley’s study where there are all manner of books. I found one called an Atlas. I was so excited to find out it was a book filled with maps. I was lookin’ for Virginia, when, all at once, the door flew open, and William walked in.
William laughed real wicked-like. “I know what you were doin’,” he said. “You was readin’ that book!”
I thought I would die when he called his mama. My tongue got thick and my throat felt dry when I thought ’bout what was goin’ to happen to me. Miz Lilly came runnin’ from the large parlour, answerin’ William’s call. “Mother, Clotee was readin’,” William said. “She was in here
with the door shut. I caught her readin’,” and he laughed and laughed.
I stood there with my head down, lookin’ as blank-faced as I could. Miz Lilly made William stop tormentin’ me. “I thought you called me about somethin’ serious. Where would Clotee learn how to read?” she said. Her petticoats swished as she walked away. “Keep the door open, Clotee,” say Miz Lilly, turnin’ to look back at me, real curious-like. William had been just funnin’. He went on laughin’, but my knees was still shakin’.
Saturday
Aunt Tee said her elbow hurt all night, so it was goin’ to rain ’fore nightfall. I don’t know why it should surprise me. Aunt Tee’s elbow is good at callin’ the weather. But, the almanack I seen in Mas’ Henleys study said the May of 1859 was goin’ to be wet.
I found out ’bout an almanack the same way I found out ’bout the atlas, just by dustin’ the bookshelves in Mas’ Henley’s study.
At first, I couldn’t believe that somebody could know ahead when the moon was goin’ to be full. But, sure enough, the moon was full on the very day the almanack say it would be.
Now, I’ve got to be very careful lookin’ through Mas’ Henley’s books, gettin’ answers to my questions. After almost gettin’ caught, I’m real nervous-like.
Monday
The sun is still up, even though the time of day is late. Miz Lilly has changed the study time to early in the mornin’ when it’s cool. I’m still s’posed to fan.
Hince and William went for a mornin’ ride, makin’ William late. Miz Lilly pitched a fit. Sooner or later all of us gets on the bad side of Miz Lilly, but Hince can’t do nothin’ to please her. Good thing Hince comes under Mas’ Henley’s say so. Hince would have it hard if he had to work with Miz Lilly. He knows it and stays ’way from her most of the time, too. Word tell, Miz Lilly hates Hince on account of his mama Ola and the talk that goes on ’bout Mas’ Henley bein’ the boy’s father.
Slave Girl Page 3
