by Irene Hannon
Anna carefully set her iced-tea glass on a coaster and looked at Kate, her face concerned. “I’d like to help you, my dear. But you do understand that I’m not experienced in day care, don’t you?”
Kate smiled. “You’re a mother. And you raised a fine son, from what I can see. You seem kind and caring. And Sarah seems to have taken to you. Those are good enough credentials for me.” Kate had decided after five minutes in her presence that Anna was the answer to her prayer.
“Well, as Eric told me, this might be my one and only chance to play grandmother,” the older woman reflected. “And I would enjoy that.”
Kate looked at her curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Eric’s divorced. Has been for almost five years. He and Cindy never had any children. Pity, too, when he loves children so much.”
“But he might remarry.”
Anna shook her head sadly. “Not Eric. So perhaps I’d best take my opportunity.”
Kate was curious about Anna’s enigmatic comment regarding Eric, but her attention was focused on the woman’s second statement. She looked at her hopefully, her own heart banging painfully in her chest. “Does that mean you’ll watch Sarah?”
Anna nodded. “At least for a while. Just tell me what kind of schedule you’re thinking about.”
Within ten minutes the details were settled, and Kate looked across at Anna. “I can’t ever thank you enough for this, Mrs. Carlson. I feel like such a great burden has been lifted from my mind.”
“First of all, it’s Anna. And I’m glad I can help you with this. It seems like you’ve had far too many trials for someone so young.”
“I don’t feel very young these days,” Kate admitted wearily. “I may only be thirty-six, but sometimes I feel ancient.”
Suddenly Sarah burst into the room to proudly show off her drawings of George. As Anna exclaimed over them, Kate settled back with her iced tea. Once upon a time, Eric had saved her husband’s life. In many ways, Kate felt he had just now saved hers. And in her heart she knew that she owed him a debt of gratitude she could never even begin to repay.
“So what happened?”
“I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” Anna’s amused voice came over the wire.
“Sorry,” Eric apologized sheepishly. “It’s just that I’ve had your meeting with Mrs. Nolan on my mind all afternoon, and this is the first chance I’ve had to call.”
“It’s seven-thirty. It must have been a busy day.”
“It was. I had an emergency at the hospital that delayed me.”
He heard her exasperated sigh. “You work too hard, Eric. Especially since the divorce. I admire your dedication, but you need to have a life, too.”
They’d been over this before—countless times. After Cindy had left and he’d decided that marriage and medicine didn’t mix, he’d immersed himself in his work to the exclusion of just about everything else. He knew it wasn’t healthy. He knew he needed to back off from some of his commitments, resign from a couple of the boards he was on, give some serious thought to his partner’s suggestion that they bring another doctor into their practice. And he’d get around to all those things one of these days. In the meantime, he was more worried about the stress level of one beautiful-but-sad mother and her little girl.
“You’re changing the subject, Mom.”
“Well, I worry about you.”
“Worry about Mrs. Nolan and Sarah instead. They need it more than I do.”
She sighed again. “Yes, I think you’re right. Oh, Eric, the minute I opened the door and looked at them, my heart just about broke. Sarah is such a precious, sensitive child. I can see where she’d feel lost in one of those big day-care centers. And Kate… Oh, dear, that poor woman. What a tragic story! And to have that accident happen on her wedding anniversary—I can’t even imagine the horror. Anyway, she looked so lost and alone, standing there on the porch. And so tired and anxious. I just wanted to hug her.”
Eric could relate to that. He’d felt exactly the same way. “So you agreed to watch Sarah?”
“How could I refuse? As you said, it just seemed like the Christian thing to do. Besides, I liked them both. It won’t be a hardship.”
“When do you start?”
“Tomorrow.”
Eric’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Pretty fast action.”
“Why wait? I don’t have anything planned, and Kate can’t get her daughter out of that place fast enough. Of course, I had to run to the store and pick up a few things. Peanut butter and jelly, ingredients for my sugar cookies, some coloring books and Play-Doh. You know, that kind of thing. I’m not used to entertaining a child.”
There was a new energy in his mother’s voice, an enthusiasm that Eric hadn’t heard in months. Apparently his instinct that this arrangement would be good for everyone had been right on target, he thought with satisfaction.
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“No. I have it all under control, thanks.”
“Well, I’ll see you Sunday, then. And good luck.”
“Thanks. I think things will work out just fine.”
So did Eric. He was happy for his mother and Kate and Sarah—and strangely enough, for himself, as well. He wasn’t quite sure why. Perhaps because now he could stop worrying so much about his mother. He could use some peace of mind on that score.
But there were other things about this arrangement that weren’t conducive to peace of mind, he suddenly realized. Such as the link it provided with Kate Nolan. For reasons he preferred to leave unexplored, he didn’t think that would necessarily lead to mental serenity.
“You know, one of these days I’m going to stop inviting you, since you never come, but Mary said I should try one more time. So…barbecue, Labor Day, five o’clock. What’s your excuse this time?”
Eric slid the chart back into the folder and grinned at his partner. Frank Shapiro seemed the complete opposite of his colleague. Six inches shorter, with close-cropped, thinning brown hair and a wiry build, Frank exuded high energy in contrast to Eric’s calm demeanor. While Frank was an outgoing extrovert, Eric stayed more to himself. But as they’d discovered during their residency together, in every other way—philosophical, ethical, political, religious—they were a good match. Their partnership had flourished, and Eric had only one complaint. Since his divorce, Frank had been unrelenting in his attempts to spice up Eric’s practically nonexistent social life. Eric had always deflected his efforts, but he suddenly decided to throw his friend a curve.
“No excuse. I’ll be there.”
Frank stared at him. “What?”
“I said I’ll come.”
Frank tilted his head and looked at Eric suspiciously. “Are you serious?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well…gosh, that’s great! Wait till I tell Mary our persistence finally paid off.”
“Can I bring anything?”
“No, thanks. Except a date, that is.” Frank grinned.
Eric grinned back. His friend was joking, of course. Frank knew he never dated. But suddenly Eric thought of Kate Nolan, and his expression grew thoughtful. He suspected she had even less of a social life than he did; that she rarely, if ever, allowed herself a night out, and that there was very little laughter and lightheartedness in her world. Not much of a life for a young, vital woman. Maybe he ought to ask her.
Eric frowned. Now where had that idea come from? What about his rule of keeping personal involvements at arm’s length? Exceptions weren’t a good idea, he told himself firmly. And yet, for some reason, ever since Kate had walked into his office he’d felt a sense of…responsibility—that was the word—for her. He couldn’t explain it. Didn’t even try. It was just there. And it nudged him to invite her. Just as a friend, of course. It would be an act of charity. Nothing more.
He laid the folder on the counter and purposely kept his tone casual. “I just might do that.”
The look of surprise on Frank’s face was almost comical. He stared at hi
s partner for several seconds before he found his voice.
“Well…that’s great!” He clearly wanted to ask more, but for once he seemed momentarily at a loss for words. And Eric didn’t give him a chance to recover.
“On to the next patient,” he declared, picking up a chart. As he walked away he could sense Frank staring after him, the dumbfounded look still on his face. And Eric couldn’t help grinning. Everyone figured he was so predictable. Well, maybe it was time he started surprising a few people.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t, Eric ruminated glumly as he stared at the phone in his office on Friday evening. The party was only three days away, and he still hadn’t summoned up the courage to call Kate Nolan. What on earth had prompted him to make that impetuous remark to Frank? He should have been content with Frank’s initial surprise when he’d accepted the invitation. There had been no need for overkill, he chastised himself.
And now he was stuck. Frank expected him to show up with a date in tow, and he’d never hear the end of it if he didn’t. His partner would badger him about the “mystery” woman he’d “almost” brought. Even worse, thinking he was now willing to date, Frank would renew his efforts to set his friend up, much as he had—relentlessly—for a year or two after the divorce. Eric closed his eyes and groaned. He loved Frank. Like a brother. But not when he played matchmaker. No, he had to show up with someone. And Kate Nolan was the only option.
Besides, there were altruistic reasons for this invitation, he rationalized. Kate seemed to lead far too solitary a life. As far as he could see, she only had Sarah. The little girl was a charmer, he acknowledged, and she seemed to adequately fulfill her mother’s nurturing needs. But what about Kate’s other needs? Despite the tragedy that had taken the man she loved, she still needed adult companionship. And adult conversation. And someone who cared when she had a cold or a taxing day, who worried when she worked too hard or didn’t eat right. He was certain those needs weren’t being met. Inviting her to go with him to Frank’s party wasn’t a solution—but it might be a step toward a more normal, balanced life for her.
Feeling more confident, he picked up the phone and dialed her number, tapping his pen restlessly against the desk as he waited. When she answered, three rings later and out of breath, his hand stilled.
“Mrs. Nolan? It’s Eric Carlson.” That was odd. He sounded as breathless as she did.
There was a momentary pause, and he could sense her surprise, could imagine the look of astonishment on her face. His assessment of her reaction was confirmed by her tone of voice when she spoke.
“Hello, Doctor.” He heard her draw a deep breath. “I was just opening the door when the phone rang. I had to run to answer it.” And why are you calling me? The question, though unasked, hung in the air.
“I wanted to thank you for the note you sent me.” She’d written him a warm, heartfelt letter after Anna had agreed to watch Sarah, and it suddenly seemed like a good way to open the conversation.
“Oh. You’re welcome. I was very grateful for everything you did.”
“I’m just glad it worked out. Mom seems much more like her old self, even though it’s only been a week.”
“Well, speaking for Sarah, this seems like a match made in heaven. She and your mom hit it off right from the beginning. Her morning tune has changed from ‘Do I have to go?’ to ‘Hurry up, Mom. We’ll be late for Aunt Anna’s.’ In fact, I’m not sure how she’ll manage away from your mom for three whole days over the Labor Day holiday.”
That gave him the opening he needed. “Maybe she doesn’t have to.”
He could hear the frown in Kate’s voice. “What do you mean?”
Eric took a deep breath and willed his racing pulse to slow down. You’d think he’d never asked a woman out before, he thought with chagrin. And this wasn’t even a real date, anyway.
“Well, I know this is a bit last-minute, but I was wondering if you were free Monday. My partner is having a barbecue, and I thought it might be a nice change of pace for you, after the stress of the last few weeks. And I could use a break myself.”
Her stunned silence conveyed her reaction more eloquently than words. Well, what did he expect? he asked himself wryly. After all, they barely knew each other. In her position he’d probably react the same way. And he’d likely decline. So before she could do so, he spoke again, playing his trump card.
“I’m sure you’re surprised by the invitation, but to be honest, you’d do me a real favor if you’d accept. Frank is a great guy, but he’s always trying to fix me up and I’d like to avoid that. I’m just not interested in dating, and I can’t seem to convince him of that. I usually turn down his invitations, but I figured if I came to one of his parties with a date, he might decide I could take care of my own social life after all and would lay off.”
Kate stared at the phone, a frown marring her brow, her refusal dying on her lips. She wasn’t in the dating mode and never would be again. What was the point, when she’d already had the best? That kind of love only came around once in a lifetime. Though Jack might be gone in body, she’d never let him go in her heart. He was her husband. He was Sarah’s father. And no one could take his place. Ever. Period. She’d never even looked at another man since his death, let alone dated one. And she saw no reason to start now.
But then Eric had added that caveat:
that she’d be doing him a favor by saving him from the well-meaning-but-unwanted matchmaking efforts of his friend. Then he’d gone on to say that he wasn’t interested in dating, either. His mother had implied the same thing at their first meeting, Kate recalled. And she owed him—big time, after what he’d done to help her resolve her day-care dilemma. So what would be the harm in accepting his invitation? Nothing that she could articulate. Yet somehow it didn’t feel quite right. The notion of spending an evening in Eric’s company made her…uneasy.
As the silence lengthened, Kate realized she had to say something. And honesty seemed the best approach. “I don’t know, Doctor,” she replied frankly, toying with the phone cord as she spoke. “I try to spend all my free time with Sarah. And I’d have to find someone to watch her.”
“That’s where Mom comes in. She’d be happy to look after Sarah.”
“You mean…you already asked your mother?” She was clearly taken aback.
“Uh-huh.” He’d checked with her before he’d called Kate, wanting to remove any potential stumbling blocks in advance.
“Oh. Well, wasn’t she…surprised?”
“Actually, no.” Which had surprised him. He’d expected to be plied with questions when he’d made the request. Instead, his mother had simply said, “No problem.” And frankly, that had made him a little nervous. It wasn’t like her. But instead of pressing his luck, he’d simply said thanks and ended the conversation as soon as possible, before she slipped back into character and launched into the third degree.
“Oh.” Kate was starting to sound like George, who had a tendency to repeat the same words over and over again, she realized. “Well, I do have school the next day.”
“We can make it an early night.”
It was getting harder and harder to think of excuses. Eric was being absolutely cooperative and understanding. How could she say no? With a sigh, Kate capitulated. “All right, Doctor. If it will help you out.”
He closed his eyes and let out a long, slow breath. When he spoke again, she heard the teasing tone in his voice.
“There’s just one thing.”
“What?”
“I don’t think this is going to work too well if you call me ‘Doctor.’ Frank might smell a rat, don’t you think?”
Kate found herself smiling. “You could be right.”
“So…how about if we switch to Eric and Kate?”
“I just hope I don’t forget. I’m used to thinking of you as ‘Doctor.’”
“I may have the same problem. Be sure to elbow me if I call you Mrs. Nolan.”
But he wouldn’t. Because oddly enough
, since the moment she’d walked into his office she’d been “Kate” to him. In fact, he’d had to remind himself to call her “Mrs. Nolan.” So this switch would be no problem at all.
“All right, Doct— Eric,” she corrected herself.
They settled on a time, and as Eric replaced the receiver and leaned back in his chair, he experienced an odd combination of emotions. Relief. Satisfaction. Anticipation. Uncertainty. And last, but certainly not least, guilt.
He frowned over that last one. Why did he suddenly have this niggling sensation of guilt? He wasn’t doing anything wrong. Professional ethics kept doctors from dating patients, but he knew of no such sanction against mommies of patients. And he hadn’t exerted too much pressure on Kate. If she’d resisted too much, he would have backed off. The last thing she needed in her life was more stress. Finally, while it was true that he refrained from dating because he believed that in the eyes of the Lord he was still married, this wasn’t a real date.
So why did he feel guilty? After all, he was doing this for her. Out of compassion. As a friend. He felt sorry for her. It was as simple as that.
Or was it? he asked himself. Because if his motives were so noble and unselfish, if he was only thinking of her, why was he looking forward to the barbecue so much?
Chapter Three
Kate glanced in the mirror behind her bedroom door and absently adjusted the strap on her sundress. She’d been so taken aback by Dr. Carlson’s—Eric’s, she reminded herself—invitation that she hadn’t thought to ask about attire. Was she too dressed up? What did people wear to a barbecue these days? It had been years since she’d been to one. To any purely social function, in fact. It actually felt odd to be dressing up for a night out. Odd—and a little uncomfortable.
