“Oh…that’s what you were doing earlier, then.” There was a distinctly unimpressed tone to her voice and though she masked it with curved lips, it bothered me.
“I was giving him a massage,” I mumbled. “I know what it looked like, but that’s what it was.”
“Leila, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s none of my business.” Again with the strange tone. “Just sorry I interrupted you.”
“Leila!” Elise hoisted a long black dress up over wince-worthy heels to hurry over. She embraced me easily and blew an air kiss toward my cheek.
“You’ve met Poppy,” I said, standing back and nodding between the two.
“Oh, yes. Another of Joseph’s razor-sharp girls.” Elise patted a blushing Poppy on the arm. “I was impressed by your part in the pitch. You have the right kind of confidence about you–it’s clear but it isn’t threatening. That’s how a woman in this job has to be.”
“Just what I was going for.” Poppy laughed, relaxing. “You were pretty good yourself.”
“Thank you.” Elise took both of our arms and guided us toward the bar. “Let’s get some Champagne–they’ve rolled out the good stuff.”
We drank and laughed and danced. Elise introduced us to a couple of her colleagues–one, a long-haired guy named Ronnie, would not leave Poppy alone. She feigned disinterest for a good hour before letting him drag her out on to the dance floor, where he revealed an amusing array of moves.
“Look how he’s chucking her about.” I sighed into my Champagne flute. “I love that buzz when you meet somebody new.”
Elise clinked her glass to mine in agreement. “Oh yeah. Still. There’s something nice about a man who’s been there long enough to know his way around…stuff.”
“Stuff? Elise. You’re such a prude.”
“I am not!” She leaned in. “My swimsuit has cutout panels, you know.”
I giggled into her shoulder. “You rebel!”
“I’m a repressed rebel. My therapist says so.”
“D’you mind if I join you?” Matt hovered over us with a meek, little smile. He’d only just escaped the clutches of Yves at the bar.
“No, no.” I moved up the sofa. “You’ve met Elise, right?”
“Yeah.” He plonked his beer on the table and sank down beside me. “How’s it going?”
“We’re watching Ronnie seduce your Poppy,” said Elise, pointing to the almost-grinding couple.
Matt followed her finger. “Fucking hell. Didn’t know she had it in her.”
“He’s always like this.” Elise sipped her drink. “He dances round the office. Does salsa.”
“And he’s straight?” Matt asked.
“We have debated it!”
“Aidan would love him,” I whispered.
“Probably.” He was evidently uncomfortable with the notion.
“How’s the leg?”
“Better. Thank you.” He peeled a sliver of label off his beer bottle. “Not that I’m tempted by the pool at all.”
“You think you’ll ever get a chance to swim in the pitch-black again, staring out over New York? I’m going in.”
In the corner of the bar, Joseph was ensconced with Deacon, Kenji and what looked to be an obscenely expensive bottle of whiskey. When he noticed me watching, he threw a pouty smile and I raised an eyebrow in acknowledgment. It was nice, being able to swan off and do as I liked, knowing he’d be there at the end of the evening.
While Elise took me out to dance, Matt remained on the sofa. It never failed to surprise me how a man who took centre stage in a rock band or a rugby team could so easily staple himself to the sidelines at a party. I remembered how he’d held me to him at Will and Angus’s wedding, each breath he spilled over me a silent stamp of ownership. I’d relished the intimacy and resented the cage of limbs at the same time–like he feared to lose me if I went out of his sight.
Joseph didn’t have to worry about that because he’d written his name across my belly.
Poppy spun into me and gripped my wrist. “Oh God.” She panted. “I’m dizzy.”
“No such thing, lady!” Ronnie whooped.
She wriggled to escape him but her delight was evident.
And I was pleased for her. Take that, Charlotte.
A few songs later, we retired to the table for more drinks.
“I’m going in a bit,” Matt said. “Sharing a cab with Sadie. Do you want to come?” His voice was edgy; he wanted me to leave with him.
A week ago, I would have been obliged to.
I patted his sore thigh as I sat down, and he stared at my hand mournfully. “No, I’m going to stay and swim. Aren’t you?”
“It’s not going to be swimming, Leila.” He sulked. “It’s just a cock parade with fewer clothes, and I’m really not in the mood.”
“Okay. Well. Suit yourself.”
He hobbled off a few minutes later, his jacket thrown over his arm. I felt utterly cruel for indulging in that massage earlier. It had swelled his hopes to something bigger than I intended–not just literally.
Kenji appeared at the table. “You girls coming to get undr…changed?” He grinned at his own slip up.
“You betcha.” Elise grabbed my hand and we headed for the little spiral staircase.
Up on the roof, the sky was ink blotted and the pool simmered beneath the pale glow of stars. Raffia sofas were dotted about, stacked with plush white towels. The night had teeth, a bite to the crisp shell of me, and…oh, yes. I could get used to this.
There were several little booths and Elise and I fell into one, rooting through our bags.
My swimsuit was something of a rushed job. I’d been packing that afternoon when I realized that my red bikini would reveal Joseph’s scratched handiwork, and had to dash out for a replacement. In the end, I chose a single-shouldered one-piece in bronze–nothing like what I’d normally wear, but expensive enough to lend me some confidence.
As we emerged, several of our fellow dancers plunged in, still clothed and yelping. Joseph already sat in one of the spa pools with Deacon and Kenji. I followed Elise into the bubbles.
Joseph caught my waist to bring me down beside him.
I beamed. “It’s gorgeous up here.”
“Isn’t it?” Deacon nodded. “No better view, in my opinion. Well.” He paused to smile graciously. “Except for you two ladies, of course.”
“Don’t be such a sleaze.” Elise wagged a mocking finger.
“He’s right.” Kenji smiled, pulling her in toward him. “You look stunning, babe.”
I saw her blush, even in the fading light. She tucked his hair behind his ears affectionately.
“We’re putting the offer in first thing tomorrow,” Joseph explained, looking at Deacon. “I’ll be emailing the paperwork before we fly.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Exciting.”
“He’s not kidding when he says you guys move fast,” said Deacon, resting his arms on the edge of the pool. “The ink’s barely dry on the contract and the work’s already done. I like you guys.”
Kenji nodded. “And since the work’s done…it’s time to play.”
“All work and no play makes Ken a very dull boy,” Elise murmured. There was that seductive tone again, the one that made me shiver.
Deacon prodded Kenji on the shoulder. “Excuse me? We’re having a respectable gathering here. You can get a room.”
“How much Champagne has she had?” Kenji asked me.
“Um…probably the best part of a bottle.”
He sighed heavily. “Nah. She’ll be asleep before we even get to the car.”
Joseph shook as he stifled a chuckle, and Elise gawped at Kenji, folding her arms.
“I will not!”
“It’s okay. You’re cute when you sleep,” he said.
I loved how he dug himself into these holes. A fellow masochist.
Joseph rose, white froth rushing away from him. “I’m going for a swim.” He nudged Kenji. “Want to join me?”
“Not if I want to keep my dick, I think.”
“I won’t be long.” Joseph stepped out and dove into the pool with a sharp, precise splash.
“Do you swim?” asked Deacon.
“I do. Just not right now.” Joseph was too distracting. I could just about see the muscles roving in his back as he surfaced. Oh.
“We’re going to go and…get some drinks,” Elise announced, slurring slightly. “Catch you later, okay?”
I smiled as Kenji hauled her out; she was so endearingly unsubtle. They stumbled into a pile of towels and then chased each other into a changing booth. Elise had related their issues to me, but they looked so comfortable together. Happy. Envy winked at me with its emerald eye.
“So. Leila.” Deacon folded his arms. “Tell me a little more about yourself.”
“I…” Champagne slowed the cogs in my brain. Deacon, meet Charlotte. When she’s not bloodthirsty, she’s thinking something rude about your shoes. “I’ve always been interested in tax and company law, even in high school. Erm. I like baked goods too much. And making sor–”
“You’ve got gorgeous hair.” He reached out. Wrapped a ringlet around his finger. As he released it, his hand dragged beneath the water and over my nipple. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that.”
I found myself staring very hard at the water. “No.”
“Tell me some more.”
Was it was possible to edge away from him without being obvious? This man was our new client–I really shouldn’t piss him off.
“I visited New York a couple of years ago, on a shopping trip,” I mumbled. “Stayed near Bloomingdale’s.”
“What is that, some kind of female Mecca?” He found my thigh and ran his hand over it.
“I suppose.”
“Joseph tells me you’re going to work with him, so we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.” He paused, and his hand roved higher, right to the crease of the top of my thigh. “I have a room here, you know.”
“I didn’t know they had rooms here.” I feigned being impressed, but I’m not sure it worked. I’m also not sure he was bothered. God, I wanted a pencil, sharpened enough to skewer each of his fingers. Bang! Splat. Sssever. Hiss–
“They’ve got all kinds of things here. Beautiful suites. The bathroom is mirrored.”
I should have got out. Gone for a swim. But he was being so brazen, I had a horrible feeling that Joseph might have planned this. Was this my third job?
“Would you like to see it?” he asked.
“Um…”
Joseph landed beside me with another controlled splash. “See what?”
“The view.” Deacon gazed out across the melting skyline, where low clouds hugged skyscrapers and stars bent to kiss them. He still groped me beneath the water.
“Ah. You said.” Joseph smoothed flashing droplets from his hair. “I scared most of your colleagues out of the pool, by the looks of it.”
“They were probably confused by someone actually swimming, in actual swim clothes.” Deacon glanced around at the quiet rooftop. “Still. Nice to have some peace up here.”
The water might have been warm as ever, but the atmosphere went cold. I couldn’t look at Joseph, couldn’t look at Deacon. Couldn’t even stare into my lap because of the paw that probed me.
Joseph nodded. “Yeah. Always amused me how you work your way to the top, and suddenl–What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I don’t know who jumped furthest out of their skin–Deacon or me–but he jerked his hand away so quickly that my thigh burned with the friction. I clasped myself with a wince.
“I’m sorry, Joe,” Deacon muttered. “I didn’t know she was yours.”
Joseph’s voice turned staccato with smothered rage. “Whether she is or she isn’t, you don’t touch my staff. Do you understand me?”
“I didn’t realize. I hope I haven’t caused any offense. Eh…have a good night.” He swaggered off to snatch a towel, each step on the tiles a wet slap. The stairs creaked beneath his bulk.
Slowly, I rubbed my sore leg. Waited for Joseph to speak. In the background, Elise giggled in the changing booth, and as Deacon opened the door to the bar, a moment of drunk white noise shot up to shake the air.
“Did you encourage that?” Joseph said eventually.
“No.” I bit my lip. “I thought you might have.”
“What?”
“He was just being so forward, I thought…I thought maybe you’d hired me out to him or something.” I felt ashamed, saying the words. They were sordid, but then so was I, and so were we.
“Why the hell would I do that? Even if I did, do you not think I’d mention it first?”
“You didn’t with Matt,” I said quietly.
“That was different. That was completely different.”
“How, exactly?”
“I…didn’t know what you were made of back then. I wasn’t sure what to do with you.” He stroked my hair. Deacon had touched me that way–funny how the same thing could mean the opposite, coming from another hand. “I’m sorry. If I’d have known he was after that, I wouldn’t have left you alone with him.”
“Have I just screwed the contract?”
“Oh, fuck, no.” He gave a little laugh. “If anything, we’ve got a bit more power–he’ll be too embarrassed. Are you okay?”
Maybe. “Of course.”
He knew I was lying, looked almost sad about it. “Leila?”
“Mmm?”
“I know this is a bit hypocritical, but you shouldn’t feel like you’re obliged to see to every man who touches you.”
I wanted to cry when he said that, though the tears froze in the ducts. Usually, I had no problem saying no, but there was always a disturbing hypocrisy on my part too, and that was what upset me.
“I don’t. Really,” I insisted.
“I’d hate to think that was how you felt about me.”
“I am obliged, Joe. When you’ve paid me.” I shifted about, moving away from him.
“But it’s more than that, isn’t it? I’ve been trying to tell you all week and you keep avoiding the issue.” His hands came to twist in his lap. Was he actually nervous?
“Force of habit,” I muttered.
“I don’t want all this to end tomorrow because we get back on a plane.”
A beat. A flood of hope and realization, thundering down from the placid sky and making the air hiss.
“What are you suggesting?”
“We could date. If you wanted.” He smiled faintly. “You’re free, I’m free. We wouldn’t have to play any more games.”
“We’re hopeless enough in relationships with other people, let alone each other.”
“Maybe none of those people were ever right for us. Maybe we ought to make our own rules.”
I watched him gaze awkwardly ahead of me, and saw, for the first time, that the man was an island. Originally, I thought Joseph was nothing like my other clients. Wrong. He’d come to me to sate the more forbidden desires, from carving his name on my skin to not bothering with chivalry, and had ended up wanting something on another level.
Only two things really separated him from the other men I’d fucked for money: I hadn’t expected him to ask for anything else, and I longed to give it to him all the same.
He called himself a hypocrite. So was I. In order to have the sex I wanted, I had to be paid. Women are not meant to crave brutal lovers or indeed, lovers in plural at all, but if these things were just services I offered, it sanitized them somewhat. No wonder Joseph had grown jealous of Matt–he thought I only accepted one particular currency. Now here he was, offering the other one–it wasn’t US dollars–and I still couldn’t find the words to bring down the wall.
I took his hand. “Come and swim with me.”
We dived in beside each other, our arms brushing as we made for the other end. The smell of chlorine was sharp and cloying, the night air cool above the gentle waves we made. I thrust my face beneath the water as if it m
ight bleach his offer away, wash the complications out, do something, because the last time I’d agreed to belong to someone…Matt happened. I was still picking up the pieces and they weren’t all of him.
We were on our third lap when he caught me. As he eased me up, pinned my body between the poolside and his own, I was breathless. His chest heaved with mine, his skin cold and clammy. I moaned into the warmth of his mouth.
“We’re all alone up here, you know,” he said.
Elise’s laughter echoed around the rooftop again.
“Liar.”
“They can’t see us, can they?” He slid a finger beneath the strap of my swimsuit. “Besides, if anyone comes up the stairs, they’ll hear them first and be mortified.”
“I like the way you think, Mr Merchant.”
“I know.” He traced my nipple, pressed in hard. “You’re only interested in my brain. I shouldn’t complain, really.”
“Yeah. I’m absolutely not interested in this.” I ran my hands down his torso, “or this, or this.” I avoided his straining cock and stroked the flat section above his shorts. “You’re kind of revolting, actually.”
“And you’re rude, too.” Another kiss–deeper this time, intrepid. “Take this off.” He tugged at my suit, but the strap snapped back as I ducked.
“Not up here, Joe.”
“I said, take it off.” He pulled on it again. “Trust me, okay?”
I let him peel the sodden fabric off, and then he tossed his own shorts up on the tiles. I licked along the firm lines of tendons at his throat. Nipped at the junctions.
“See, now I’ve got the view Deacon didn’t get,” he murmured. “I think I prefer it to a few skyscrapers.”
A moan punctuated our sanctuary. Elise’s voice wavered as it died.
“Are they…”
“Yep.” Joseph shot me a drunk schoolboy’s grin. “Just like the old days.”
“Oh, be quiet.” I tweaked a handful of his hair and he moaned against my mouth.
“Don’t you like it? She’s going to come soon. Do you want to come with her, sweetheart?”
I mewed into his shoulder. These quick drops into dirty talk, that he was good at it at all…oh.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
He raised me by the hips to drag his tongue over my nipples, and he was slow and teasing before his usual savagery prevailed.
Breaking Joseph Page 8
