Beth sprang upright punching at her dad. “Stop it!”
Kevin let Liz go and pointed a finger at Beth. “You hit me again and so help me God I’ll smack you right back!”
“Go ahead!” Beth retorted, thrusting her chin forward. “You’ve wanted to ever since we got here.”
Kevin lunged at her but Liz threw herself between them, hands flying around her as each tried to get at the other. Hampton yelped.
With an effort, Liz pushed them apart. She saw an ugly scratch across Kevin’s cheek and he looked as angry as a hornet. Then she saw his right hand clasping the handle of the knife on his belt.
Some dark place in her own head exploded. The most intense rage she had ever known rolled through her in a rush like boiling hot water spilling into her lap. “What the fuck are you doing, Kevin?! Are you going to stab your own daughter? What the hell’s the matter with you? You pull that knife out and I swear I’ll tear your damn head off!”
She pushed him back with both hands. “You fucking bastard.”
Beth tried to lunge at him again but Liz caught her. “And you,” she said, holding both of Beth’s hands, “stop this. You’re just like him, for God’s sake! The only sane one in the whole damn family is the damn dog.”
Beth glared at her. “Don’t you dare say that!” she half screamed, half choked. “I thought you were my fucking friend! I’m not like that asshole at all!”
“Then stop acting like him!” shouted Liz. Before she had time to consider what she was doing, she slapped Beth in the face, she was so angry with the both of them.
Beth stuck her face out. “You talk about me? Well, go ahead and hit me again, bitch. I know you want to.”
It was true, Liz realized with horror; she did want to.
“No, no, no, no, no,” said Kevin behind them. Liz turned to see him lying on his back with his hands over his face. “No, no, no, no, no,” he moaned, “not again. Please God, not again.”
Liz stared at him, frightened. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He sat up, his face pale and his hands shaking. He threw himself at the screen door, fumbling with the zipper. “He’s here,” he said. “I know he’s here.”
He lunged from the tent and spun around outside, searching for something or someone.
Fear made Liz slide to the back of the tent and instinctively reach for Hampton. Still, the rage in her tickled her spine like an electric current. Kevin was insane. For some reason she could not understand, he had brought her here to die in these Godforsaken woods of his. Why, she screamed at herself in her mind, had she agreed to come? She hated camping. How could she have been so stupid?
Beth sobbed across from her, her head buried against her knees. Liz was amazed to find she despised her for it. Why couldn’t the little snot get a damn grip? One minute she was ready to kill her father, the next she was collapsed like a pile of dirty laundry feeling sorry for herself. She didn’t have an ounce of sense. If she wasn’t antagonizing her parents, she was acting like a child and wondering why no one liked her.
She heard Kevin run down to the water. “I know you’re here!” he screamed. In the damp air she heard the muffled echo of his words. “I know you’re both here! I feel him, Morgan! I know what you’re doing. Stop it or you’ll kill Beth as well as me. You don’t want that, do you? You can’t want that, Morgan!”
“Who’s he talking to?” said Liz, shocked.
Beth glanced up looking miserable. “I think Dad’s talking to my mother,” she said. “Or he thinks he is. Only, I think he’s just totally lost it.”
“Go away, Morgan!” Liz heard him scream again. “Leave us be.” He repeated the last, moaning like a condemned man begging for a pardon he knew he’d never get.
Another surge of anger hit her with a force like a punch in the stomach, nearly pushing her breath and her fear out of her. Nearly, but not quite. The fear hung on and she shrank back into the tent again, grabbing for Hampton, but the dog bolted from her. She reached after him but missed as he darted out the tent flap. Outside, she heard him immediately start barking, a menacing, growling cough.
Her mind reeled from the strength of the fear and anger competing within her. Yet dimly, through it all, she felt manipulated. Everything seemed so out of proportion, like being a very young kid and having a tantrum over a lost crayon. She had reason to be irritated, but this enraged? The desire to do violence to Kevin, to punish him, was almost like the intensity of sex. Her mind roared with the ferocity of it.
Then, suddenly, it was silent except for the splatter of raindrops falling from the trees. Not a bird, insect or any living thing could be heard in the forest, not even the rustling of the trees in the wind.
Liz forced herself to crawl from the tent. Outside, she found Kevin sunk on his knees leaning against a tree. Hampton stood next to him, whining. Kevin looked dazed, his face drained of color.
She was afraid to get close to him. She tried to speak but found words would not come, as though her throat had closed. So she stood clutching herself, mute.
The forest, the lake, everything looked strange to her. The light was clear but shimmery, as though she was seeing through water. The colors of the rocks and leaves, the reddish-brown bark on the trees, all of it seemed more intense and brighter than it should have been in the gray light of the overcast sky.
Slowly, she seemed to be settling back down into what felt like her normal frame of mind, the panic and anger ebbing away.
Kevin jumped to his feet. Their eyes met and she cringed inwardly. “We’ve got to go,” he said. “We’ve got to go now.”
He walked quickly through the campsite picking up rain ponchos, food packs and a hatchet. He dumped them into the canoe. “Beth,” he called, “we’re going. Right now. We’ve got to leave right now!”
When Beth didn’t respond, Kevin walked quickly to the tent and threw back the flap, ducking his head to look in. “We’re going,” he said. “Isn’t that what you want? To leave, to get home? I’m doing it.” Liz could hear in his voice his struggle to stay calm.
Liz heard Beth slide back farther into the tent. Kevin lunged for her. This was followed by muffled curses and the sounds of a struggle.
Liz ran to the tent and grabbed Kevin by a leg, pulling him back as hard as she could.
He rolled over and kicked free of her. Then he sat for a moment breathing heavily, staring at his feet. He looked feverish.
“We are,” he finally said, “in danger. Real, bad danger.” He looked up at Liz. “If we don’t leave now I think we’ll all die.”
The panic rose in her again, coiling around her chest and squeezing the breath from her lungs. She believed him. They were in some kind of danger but she did not know how or why. “Why are we in danger?”
“I can’t explain but we’ve got to go. Now. Please help me convince Beth.” He looked at her, pleading. She was still afraid of him but he seemed more himself.
“Kevin, it’s raining. It’s late. It’ll be dark before we get very far.”
He shook his head. “We’ll go through the night. We have to. It’s better than staying here, trust me. We’ll get back as fast as we can and we’ll drive out. It’ll be better once we get out.”
He looked up at her. “Don’t you feel it? Can’t you feel how wrong it is? You want to leave, don’t you?”
“I don’t think I want to run into that bear again in the dark. It was bad enough in full daylight.”
He stood and seized her by the arm. “Liz, that bear is nothing compared to what’s waiting for us if we don’t leave.”
She pulled back from him. “You’re scaring me, Kevin.”
“You should be scared, Liz. We need to leave.”
She stared at him a moment. He was, she was sure, dead serious. “Go down to the boat,” she said. “I’ll get Beth and pack the tent.”
Kevin shook his head. “Leave it. Just bring your clothes and a few things to eat on the way. The rest will only slow us down.”
&nbs
p; She ducked into the tent. Beth sat huddled up in a corner staring at her suspiciously.
“Beth,” she said, “we’re going.”
Beth simply stared back at Liz as though at a threatening stranger.
“Beth, I think we’re in some kind of danger and we’ve got to leave. You want to go, don’t you, sweetie?”
“Don’t call me that,” Beth spat back. “I’m not your ‘sweetie.’ You hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. I don’t know what just happened. It’s all wrong here. You feel it, too, don’t you? Your dad won’t say what it is, but I think he knows and he says we’ve got to leave.”
“He’ll kill you, you know.” She said it dully, like saying that the weather was bad or the dog was hungry.
“No, he won’t. I’m sure he won’t.”
“Then why are you scared of him?”
Liz nearly protested she wasn’t, and then stopped. She was scared of him and Beth knew it. Beth was scared of him, too. In fact, they all seemed to be scared of each other.
“That’s true,” Liz said cautiously, “but I don’t know why.”
“Because he’s going to kill you,” Beth shot back, her mouth a grimace. “If we don’t do something he’s going to kill us both. That’s why he brought us here.”
Liz shook her head. “I know I’m scared but he is, too. He wants us to leave and I think we should go.”
“Then go. But I won’t.”
“Beth, you can’t stay here by yourself.”
“It’s safer than being with him or you!”
“I’m not going to hurt you, I swear it,” said Liz. “Look, you sit in the front of the boat and I’ll sit in the middle. If your dad does anything you’ll have time to jump out or something. I’m sure Hampton wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”
Liz turned and called for the dog. He immediately came bounding into the tent, greeting them both. He licked at Beth, whining. Beth gave the dog a hug.
“See,” said Liz, “Hampton is worried about you, too. He won’t let anything happen to you.”
“He can sit next to me in the boat?” said Beth.
Liz nodded. “Up in the front. Come on.” She held out her hand. Beth stared at it a moment, hesitating, and then took it.
They crawled out of the tent and looked around.
“Everything looks different,” said Beth. “Kind of weird, like the light is funny.”
Liz nodded. “I thought so, too, but I wasn’t sure. It’s shimmery, like being underwater. It must be the way the sunlight is filtering through the mist.”
They walked to the water where Kevin waited, holding the boat. Beth climbed in glaring at her father and keeping as far from him as she could. She called in Hampton after her. He sprang into the canoe and settled down next to her in the front. Liz could see that it was only with an effort that Kevin kept quiet.
Liz scrambled into the boat and Kevin pushed them off. The mist was heavy now, a bright grayish white, and Liz could only see about twenty feet ahead.
“Will you be able to see where we’re going?” she asked Kevin.
“We’ll cut straight across this channel and follow the far shore, keeping it to our right until we reach the portage. It won’t be a problem.”
They canoed in silence, completely surrounded by fog. The lake was flat and still, and again Liz was struck by the absence of any sound except for their paddles striking the water. In this fog they were completely cut off from the world, even the forest. There was just the mist, the small circle of the lake she could see, and themselves. She felt a moment of panic at being so disconnected and isolated.
She looked into the dark black water. She wondered just how deep the lake was here, and was seized by an irrational fear of what might be below them. She had seen plenty of late-night movies featuring awful things hidden in the deep, and she wondered just how big the fish here grew to be? She had heard of catfish in the Mississippi River sometimes weighing a hundred pounds or more. She had never cared for swimming except in a swimming pool and never went into the ocean deeper than she could wade. Things lived there, things that might resent an intruder in their space.
She realized that was the same reason she felt uncomfortable in the woods. It was not her element, her habitat. She didn’t know what was in the forest, but whatever was there could not possibly want to share it with her. At best, she was a competitor. At worst, just food. She had been both to the bear.
Had her encounter with the bear been today? It seemed as though it had happened weeks ago. That, she thought, was when this whole trip had really gone bad. She had been in mortal danger. She was sure of it.
She stared down again into the water, as shiny, dark and alien as the eyes of the bear and every bit as threatening. She could die here, her body lost in the lake to be forgotten forever.
They reached the opposite shore and Liz breathed a sigh of relief. It added another element to her world, which made her feel that much less isolated. They still could not see far, but at least there was more than the fog, the water and them. More was definitely better. She looked forward to adding things like cars and music.
She began to relax just a bit, and even anticipated getting home and free of Kevin and this Godforsaken wilderness, when they drew up alongside another campsite. Camping gear lay scattered around an apparently abandoned tent.
With a start, she realized it was their campsite. They were back.
Chapter 5
Africa
With the murder of Mosquito, Kevin’s orgasm of fury drained away, leaving him exhausted. Something told him he should walk away, and he disappeared between the buildings. He didn’t know where he was going, but he went. He walked for hours that night, hardly aware of what he was doing. The gunfire slowly grew distant. At some point he looked up at the night sky and saw ribbons of bright light flickering across the stars. It looked like the aurora borealis, but Kevin knew it couldn’t be so close to the equator.
At dawn he crawled into jungle undergrowth and slept, not moving until the following evening, and then he walked again.
All that night Kevin felt Agbado. He was there, close by. He could even hear him, what started as a low clicking sound that increased in speed and intensity until it was like the deep growl of a lion. Kevin seemed to hear the demon voice in his head urging him to call his name. But he didn’t. The depth of the rage he’d felt frightened him, and somehow he was sure that it had been released by Agbado.
This strange, echoing voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere said Kevin was safe because he, Agbado, could punish his enemies as he had punished Mosquito for him. All Kevin had to do was ask, and those who opposed him, and those who wished him harm, would suffer for it. Never again would he be humiliated. Nothing could stand in his way.
But oddly, Kevin saw Bill. He felt he really saw him. He knew he was half out of his mind, but there Bill was walking with Kevin. He was silent but he watched Kevin, and Kevin spoke to him. He told Bill about the keystone, about Mosquito and Diallo and about how Mosquito had killed him. Kevin raved at him for antagonizing Mosquito, cursed him for bringing him there and wept for having let Bill down.
His only answer was to walk with Kevin, still silent and watching. But somehow Kevin knew he was telling him not to call Agbado.
He walked like that for two nights. He might have had a fever. He wasn’t sure. It all felt like a hallucination. He met no one until dawn of the third day when a United Nations patrol picked him up. He was in a hospital for a week with malaria and exposure, and then he went home.
Chapter 6
Minnesota
Five more times they tried to reach the portage, and five more times they ended up back where they had begun.
Beth accused her father of intentionally turning them around in the fog and Liz had to come between them again, suppressing her own rising sense of frustration and terror.
Kevin gave Beth his compass and followed her course. When they came back to the campsite, Beth ga
ve it to Liz and she directed the course.
And still they came back.
They got out of the boat. It was raining again and even covered by their rubber ponchos they were wet.
Kevin looked grim. “I know you both think I’m doing this but I’m not. Tomorrow, one of you can sit in the back and guide the boat. It’ll be the same.” He didn’t look at them; he just stared off into the darkening haze.
“Maybe the storm will pass tomorrow and we’ll be able to see,” said Liz.
Kevin looked at her. “No, it won’t.”
“How do you know that?” said Beth, her voice torn between accusation and panic.
He shrugged. He looked into the woods, searching. “Because he’s here, Beth. I can feel him. I can see it, too. It’s the light. I’ve seen it before and I know it’s him.”
Liz felt ice water run down her back. “Who’s here?” she said. “You called for Morgan earlier. Now you’re talking about a him.”
Kevin sighed, biting his lower lip. “They’re both here. Morgan brought him. That other canoe we kept getting a glimpse of, I think that was Morgan. I think she’s been following us.”
“You mean Mom?” said Beth. “Why would she do that? That’s crazy. You’re crazy.”
He looked at her evenly. “I’m sure of it.”
“Who did she bring?” said Liz. “And what does that have to do with us getting lost in the fog?”
“We’re not getting lost in the fog,” Kevin snapped. He took a step away and then seemed to realize he had nowhere to go. Turning back to them he said, “He won’t let us leave because she doesn’t want us to go. She wants us right here and so he’ll keep us here.”
“Do you know how nuts that sounds, Kevin?” said Liz. “You’re scaring the hell out of the both of us.”
Kevin ignored her and pulled the boat up out of the water. He fumbled among the things they’d thrown into the canoe and pulled out the hatchet. Beth took Liz’s arm.
Kevin turned and saw them. “Relax,” he said, and he sounded tired and resigned but not angry. “I’ll try to get a fire going. We’re going to need it. I’ll get some wood.” He walked to the edge of the campsite but then stopped, looking into the darkening forest. Liz realized with a start that he was afraid to go any farther. Kevin, afraid of the forest? she thought. That was not good. If bears did not scare him then what the hell did?
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