by Matt Sorger
Just as a rider and a horse establish a relationship of trust, enabling the horse to be trained without breaking its spirit, in the same way our relationship with God enables Him to train us by His Spirit in the most productive and life-giving way. When we submit to God’s dealings in our lives, He gently breaks the areas of our stubborn wills that need to come under submission, and He empowers us to reach our maximum potential. As areas of self are broken, God’s power within us becomes harnessed to produce the greatest results through our lives.
In her book Brokenness , Nancy DeMoss states, “Brokenness is the shattering of my self-will—the absolute surrender of my will to the will of God. It is saying, ‘Yes, Lord!’—no resistance, no chafing, no stubbornness—simply submitting myself to His direction and will in my life.”5
The key is having a heart that can endure the test of extreme pressure and time. For many, they are born with God-given strengths and abilities. They are graced and gifted by God with certain capabilities. They start out strong. They are sprinters. They appear to be finishing first. But when the test of time sets in and the pressure builds up from a long-distance race, their hearts burst. Their triumph ends in tragedy, taking many other people out in the process. “Whether life grinds a man down or polishes him depends on what he’s made of,” said Kathryn Kuhlman.6
Harnessing God’s Power for the Long Haul
God doesn’t want us to just start strong. He doesn’t just want us to be champions at short races. He wants to create in us the ability to run fast and hard for the long haul. He wants to undergird His power in our lives so that it will carry us all the way through to the end. We can have the right trainer and the right rider, but only we can decide the condition of our heart. The heart that can endure pressure over the long haul is a heart of character and integrity. Integrity is what will keep your heart strong and enduring. Integrity is what will ultimately qualify you to be a thoroughbred champion. It’s what will empower you to run your race and win.
We have been created to be vessels of God’s power. Developing a life of integrity is crucial to harnessing, maintaining, and increasing God’s power in our lives. When we only focus on the gifts God gives us and neglect the process of cultivating a life of integrity, we can become disqualified in the process. Integrity will be our keeping grace! Integrity will enable us to carry God’s power for the long haul in our lives. Integrity is produced through brokenness.
Smith Wigglesworth, a man powerfully used by God in the healing ministry, testified, “Before God could bring me to this place, He has broken me a thousand times.”7
Brokenness Brings Complete Victory
Let’s look at how power is released through brokenness in a strategy the Lord gave to Gideon in Judges 7:16–22. In this portion of Scripture Gideon divides three hundred men into three companies. He puts into their hands trumpets and empty pitchers with torches of fire inside of them. When they get to the edge of the enemy’s camp, they blow the trumpets and shout, “The sword of the Lord and of Gideon!” (v. 18, NKJV). When they blow the trumpets, they also break the pitchers in their hands, releasing the fire that’s hidden inside. In their left hand they hold the fire; in their right hand they hold the trumpets. When the sound of the Lord is released through their shout, the Midianite army turns on itself and flees before Gideon and his men! The battle and victory are won.
It’s interesting to note that both hands were occupied with a torch and trumpet. There was no hand to hold a sword. Why? Because the sword was in God’s hand. The principle here is simple. When the vessel is broken, the fire is released. Combined with the sound of the trumpet, the enemy is sent into confusion and defeated. When we are broken and release a sound of praise to God, our enemy is defeated. God’s power is released on our behalf through this divine strategy.
True brokenness releases the power of God in our lives. It enables God to fight our battles for us, so the enemy is completely defeated. True heart integrity comes as a result of godly brokenness. There is a big difference between godly brokenness and worldly brokenness. There is a godly sorrow and a worldly sorrow. One leads to increase. The other leads to decrease. One produces power; the other causes us to lose God’s power. One leads to life. The other brings forth death. Ungodly cracks will leak the power of God. Godly brokenness will sustain and increase it. Godly brokenness releases the fire. Ungodly brokenness quenches it and puts it out.
There are two men in the Bible who clearly demonstrate the power of brokenness and integrity. They are Saul and David. Both men were imperfect. Both made mistakes. Both sinned. One had his power taken from him. The other was able to maintain it in his life. One had integrity. The other did not. What was the difference?
Saul made a lot of mistakes as king. He fell into insecurity, jealousy, anger, hatred, pride, rebellion, fear of man, and witchcraft. He was an imperfect vessel. Yet when he was first called by God, he was humble and lowly in his own eyes. But soon pride took over his heart.
When the prophet Samuel confronted his sin, Saul freely admitted it (1 Sam. 15:30). But in his next breath he asks to be honored before the people. Saul was not truly broken or repentant before God. He had a worldly sorrow. He was sorry that he got caught. He was sorry for the consequences he now had to face. But he still cared more about his own reputation than he did about hurting God’s heart. His heart was not pure. It was not truly broken or repentant. He was still seeking honor before men.
A fellow minister whose ministry has substantially grown, now reaching the masses, shared with me about how his first pastor publicly shared from the pulpit that he was sorry for how he had been in the past. He shared that he wanted people to know that he had changed and was not the same person any more. Under his years of ministry there was a wake of wounded and hurt people left on the sidelines, including my friend. For years his pastor had used control, fear, and anger to manipulate the people he was called to serve. After losing a lot of people from his church, he came to a place of brokenness. He wanted people publicly to know he had changed.
Then my friend received a private e-mail from the pastor. In the e-mail he wanted to know why he hadn’t received more public recognition and honor from my friend. This e-mail came at the same time he was publicly sharing his supposed brokenness from the pulpit.
Like Saul, this leader had a type of brokenness, but he was still desiring public honor and recognition in his heart. It was not true, godly brokenness. We have to be careful we don’t deceive ourselves about the sorrow we feel. Are we sorry for the things we have lost? Or are we sorry because we have hurt God’s heart along with those of other people? Godly sorrow produces a change and transformation in our heart. Worldly sorrow does not. This carnal sorrow only feels bad for itself.
The sorrow of true repentance is sorrow for offense against a holy God, not simply regret over the personal consequences of our sin. Sorrow over being found out or over suffering hard ship or discipline because of our sin is not godly sorrow, and has nothing to do with repentance. That sort of sorrow is but selfish regret, concern for self rather than for God. It merely adds to the original sin.8
—JOHN MACARTHUR
Let’s look at David’s brokenness. Like Saul, David made mistakes when he was king—some pretty bad ones. He committed adultery as well as murder. Yet God called David a man after His own heart. How can this be? How can a man who commits such horrible things be after God’s heart? When David was confronted for his sin, we see his response in Psalm 51.
David was not concerned about his reputation before people. He was concerned about grieving God’s heart and losing God’s presence in his life. His relationship with God was the most important thing to him. It was because of his godly brokenness that he did not lose the kingdom, nor did he lose God’s power in his life. He sinned, but he received forgiveness through godly repentance. Even though he still faced consequences for his bad choices and actions, he didn’t lose his relationship with God or his authority and power. Godly brokenness brought restorati
on in his life. The integrity produced in David’s heart through his testings, including both the ones he passed and failed, caused God’s power to be harnessed, maintained, and sustained in his life, maintaining his kingship. David’s heart’s response meant everything to God. Even though he failed at times, he won in the end because he really had a heart after God. He allowed God to work integrity into his life.
Overcoming Hardness of Heart
He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained].
—MATTHEW 19:8
Modern-day marriage missionaries Clint and Penny went through a painful divorce with an overshadowing of adultery in the final stages of their marriage. After the breakup Clint buried his emotions and moved on. Their relationship, for all intents and purposes, seemed dead. After eleven years of not talking or seeing each other, one day a package arrived on Clint’s doorstep with a note from his ex-wife asking for forgiveness. Shortly after that they met for coffee, and Clint realized he still loved her. He asked her to remarry him, and their relationship and marriage covenant have been completely restored. The secret to their success is the fact that they got on their faces before God in a place of brokenness and sought Him for His divine assistance. They also intentionally set time aside to effectively communicate with one another on everything. Now they travel helping other married couples experience this same restoration.9
In a day where it seems that the marriage and family unit is disintegrating, even in the lives of Christians and ministers, God is calling us into a place of brokenness before Him so our hearts can be softened. Only through this place of brokenness can God truly restore what is being stolen. We must yield and surrender our hardness of heart to Him. This is the only answer. This is our hope.
Cultivating a repentant heart is the essential key to living a life of integrity. A broken and contrite heart will fully turn to God in weakness and receive God’s strength to change. Godly sorrow brings a deep change within us. It causes us to hate what God hates and love what He loves. It causes us to turn away from old patterns and behaviors that we know grieve God’s heart. It sets us free to truly live our lives by the power of the Holy Spirit within us. Integrity is an internal conviction that no one else can give you. It has to come from within your own heart. True repentance will produce great fruit in your life. John the Baptist proclaimed this in Luke 3:8: “Bear fruits that are deserving and consistent with [your] repentance [that is, conduct worthy of a heart changed, a heart abhorring sin].”
God uses broken things: broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.10
—VANCE HAVNER
Living by an Internal Standard
Integrity is an internal standard and conviction. It is having a sensitive conscience before God. The more sensitive your conscience is, the more in tune with the Holy Spirit you will be. You will know instantly when you are treading on dangerous ground. You will know when God’s heart is being grieved. As you follow your conscience, you will develop integrity in your life. True character and integrity are revealed in the choices you make when no one else is around. Integrity will cause you to live a fully transparent life. Oh, how wonderful that is! When people see you, they can look right through you and see the nature and character of God inside of you. Integrity will cause God’s purity and light to shine in and through you with no hindrances.
I remember the day I entered an arena for a healing meeting. I was standing near the altar area, and a man came walking over to me with his eyes wide in wonder. He stood in front of me, lip quivering and tears running down his face, and told me he could see the glory and presence of God on me. I will never forget that moment, a moment when someone was impacted through God’s life in me, shining through me.
Dave, an Arizona homeless man, came across a bag with more than three thousand dollars in it. He had a decision to make. Would he keep it for his own needs or return it to the owner? His sense of conviction told him he had to return it. The owner of the bag was amazed when the bag filled with money showed up five days after he lost it. He never thought he would see it again.11
This story illustrates that you can exercise character no matter what the circumstances are. It’s these unforeseen moments of decision that really mark the kind of person you are.
I love what Dwight L. Moody said about character: “Character is what a man is in the dark. God doesn’t seek for golden vessels, and does not ask for silver ones, but He must have clean ones. A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian and most of all, his family ought to know.”12
My own personal goal in life is to be as transparent as possible so that the person I am in front of people is the same person I am in private. When I was a child, I had a very sensitive conscience. I couldn’t do anything wrong without telling on myself! This may sound funny to some, but it’s true. If I felt I did something wrong, I had to confess. I am the same today. I can keep no secrets. My life is an open book. If I ever feel I have grieved God’s heart in some way, I have to get before God and pray until I feel my heart is clean. This constant sense of repentance and brokenness before God keeps me in His presence. It’s how I cultivate His presence and power in my life. If I feel something has come into my heart that is separating me from His presence, I have to pray it through until I feel restored. I believe this is a mark of true repentance.
Repentance is not a merely intellectual change of mind or mere grief, still less doing penance, but a radical transformation of the entire person, a fundamental turnaround involving mind and action and including overtones of grief, which result in [spiritual] fruit.13
—D. A. CARSON
The Little Things Count
The little things in life really do count. It’s usually the small decisions we make that can have the biggest impact. God wants us to have integrity in every area of our lives.
Genesis 1 logs God’s commitment to excellence when it says, “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (v. 31). Christians should always do good work. Christians ought to be the best workers wherever they are. They ought to have the best attitude, the best integrity, and be the best in depend ability. Integrity characterizes the entire person, not just part of him. He is righteous and honest through and through. He is not only that inside, but also in outer action.14
—R. KENT HUGHES
If you want to live in God’s extraordinary power, taking responsibility for personal integrity in your daily life really makes a big difference. This comes down to the little things like cleaning the house, taking out the trash, and having good personal hygiene. Or being on time for work, going the extra mile for your boss, being honest in your relationships, treating people with kindness and respect. Or having a humble attitude of yourself, not stealing things from your workplace that you know aren’t yours, such as paper and pens. Not abusing your lunch break at work when you know you have a certain allotted time. All of these things might seem like small things to you, but it’s the small things that, when added up, make us who we are as people. You would be surprised who is watching you. If you are caught not telling the truth, not following your employer’s guidelines, not submitting to company policies, you will gain a reputation for being a person without honor. People won’t trust you, and you will never advance forward in life.
This even affects things like our personal health. Diane was struggling with being 305 pounds and couldn’t see the value or the danger of those little decisions she made all day long. For example, she didn’t really consider that every time she ate an extra brownie, she was pushing herself further into obesity. All she saw was the “whole” problem. She thought she was fat, unhappy, and powerless. But she wasn’t powerless at all. It was with
in her power to make those little decisions that would put her on the right path. For example, if she had not eaten a 200-calorie candy bar every day, she would have saved 6,000 calories in a month, enough to lose about a pound. If she had taken a short walk, she would have burned a few calories—and probably felt better about herself.15
I have found this to be true in my own life. I know that just by removing a few unhealthy things from my eating habits, such as french fries and soda, I was able to lose enough weight to fit into my clothes again. I was healthier inside and out just by making a few adjustments. These small choices are part of my overall integrity as a person.
According to blogger Diane:
The decisions you make now can have a huge impact on your health. According to the CDC, losing 10 percent of your body weight reduces your risk of heart disease and can help bring your blood pressure lower. If you weigh 200 pounds, 10 percent is just 20 pounds. Definitely possible—especially when you think about making one small decision after another until you reach your goals. Losing weight, just like other things in life, is about decisions. We don’t always make perfect decisions, but if you make more good ones than not, you can reach your goals. Having integrity in the small things impacts your overall life.16
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Part of living a life of integrity is setting healthy boundaries. As I have learned to walk in God’s power, I have found it a very necessary thing to choose to set right boundaries. I will be honest. This is not always an easy thing to do. Sure, God gives us the grace to make right choices, but that doesn’t mean your old nature is not going to want to fight. Living a powerful Christian life is not always easy, but Jesus never said it would be easy. In fact, He told us that we would need to crucify our flesh with its passions and desires. This can be a painful process as we fight against our old nature to allow God’s new nature to reign in us (1 Pet. 4:1). But the benefits of living with integrity are amazing.
