by Matt Sorger
To a degree, joy is a choice just like anything else. You may say, “Well, I want to be happy, but I just can’t be. I’m miserable, and I can’t help it!” That may be true. You may have gotten into such a low place and are so under the pressure that you just don’t see a way out. You may even have a serious medical condition that causes depression in your life, or maybe there is a tendency or weakness toward depression in your family line. There are times people may need to seek medical help if they have a genuine chemical imbalance in their body. This is an extreme case. If you think you may fit into the category of having a medical condition, you should seek out help. Even if it is a medical condition, God has the desire and power to heal anything that may be off in your brain or body.
For others, it’s not a medical condition. It’s a choice. There will always be circumstances that can upset you and discourage you. It’s up to you whether you let them drag you down or not. No matter how hard it may seem, when discouragement wants to paralyze you and drain all the life and motivation out of you, you will need to make the choice to get up and live your life. You must start by refusing to come into agreement with your feelings. You can’t let your feelings control you. This is where you mature in your faith. You don’t have to live out of your fleeting emotions. You can live out of your spirit and bring your emotions into check, but it starts by making the decision to do so. God will empower your free will to stand up, shake the dust off of yourself, and get a grip. Once you make the decision to not let an emotion rule you, God’s power in you goes into action to enable you to then shake depression off and rise above it.
It’s like the snake that tried to attach itself to Paul in Act 28:3. He shook it off into the fire. That’s exactly what you have to do. You have to shake it off! It goes back to knowing the power of truth and agreement. No matter what you feel, you have to come into agreement with God’s power in you, choose to speak God’s Word over yourself and to yourself, and refuse to let anything dominate you.
One of the hardest things can be living with a miserable person. An even harder thing is if you are that person. You can at least escape and get away from miserable people, but you cannot escape yourself. No matter where you go, you are always there. Life can be very difficult when you are riding on the coattails of someone else’s emotions, especially if they are bipolar or emotionally unstable. You cannot let the emotions of others get onto you. You don’t have to live that way. This is why you have to be very careful whom you yoke yourself with. If you are in a situation where it’s a close family member, God will give you the grace and strength you need to overcome and not be dragged down.
This is a good rule for us all to live by. Mother Teresa said, “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”2
Grappling With Depression and Anxiety
I’m sure you have found out by now that there are a lot of things that happen in life that are beyond your control. At times it may feel like your circumstances are swirling like a whirlwind around you. If you sit and watch the news long enough, you’ll want to pull the covers over your head and not come out.
Many people are grappling with circumstances that seem to have them running in circles. They are being driven by their environment and knocked around by their emotional reactions. They’re earthbound. Their minds are gripped with fear, worry, concern, and anxiety. Just in the last decade the number of Americans using antidepressant drugs has doubled.3
In 2006, Americans, who make up approximately 6 percent of the world’s population, consumed 66 percent of the world’s supply of antidepressants. In 2002, more than 13 percent of Americans were taking Prozac alone. Prozac is one of thirty available antidepressants. Anti-anxiety drugs, such as Zoloft, are so widely prescribed that in the year 2005, the $3.1 billion sales of Zoloft exceeded the sales for Tide detergent.4
USA Today reports:
About 10% of Americans—or 27 million people—were taking antidepressants in 2005, the last year for which data were available at the time the study was written. That’s about twice the number in 1996, according to the study of nearly 50,000 children and adults in today’s Archives of General Psychiatry .5
In another article posted in August 2009, it was reported that:
. . . one in 10 Americans is now taking antidepressants within the course of a year, making antidepressants the most prescribed kind of medication in the country. The number of 2005, and the number of prescriptions written for these drugs has increased each year between 2005 and 2008..6
People are consumed with thoughts of terrorism, global warming, nuclear war, poor government decisions, swine flu, the economy, not to mention strife in their families, rebellious teenagers, struggles in marriage, financial pressures, as well as their own inner struggles with things like discouragement, negative thought patterns, poor self-image, weight struggles, identity crises, and so much more. No wonder so many are living far below the abundant life Jesus came to give us!
The Divine Exchange
When I sense discouragement coming upon me, sometimes it helps to share it with someone else, but often times this just magnifies what I am feeling. It doesn’t remove it. I have learned about the divine exchange. Prayer really works! When I feel my soul starting to dominate my spirit, I get into a place of prayer, and sometimes fasting, where I can talk to God. I tell Him everything I am feeling; I give it all to Him. I ask Him to help me overcome it. I just keep praying until I start to feel a release. I choose to give it to God and focus on the good things in my life.
You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy.
—PSALM I6:II
When you learn to practice God’s presence in your life through daily prayer, worship, and spending time in His Word, you will experience the fullness of God’s joy in your life. This is one of the reasons I spend so much time in prayer! It keeps me in His presence, which keeps me in the Spirit.
It’s obvious St. Augustine knew this secret. He said, “There is a joy which is not given to the ungodly, but to those who love Thee for Thine own sake, whose joy Thou Thyself art. And this is the happy life, to rejoice to Thee, of Thee, for Thee; this is it, and there is no other.”7
There is nothing that will discourage you more quickly and make you a miserable person than by focusing on the negative. If you focus on the negative things in your circumstances and in other people around you, of course you are going to be miserable. If the only things coming out of your mouth are negative things, you are not even going to like hanging around yourself—and no one else will either.
Some of you reading this need a major overhaul in this area. You need the negative thought patterns in your mind renewed with the positive things in God’s Word, and you need to learn how to just close your mouth if you have nothing positive to say. You need someone to tell you these things. Stop speaking negatively. Stop complaining and being miserable. Stop gossiping. Stop focusing on everything that’s wrong and start focusing on what’s right—even if the only thing you can find positive is the fact that God loves you and your sins are forgiven and you are not going to hell. Thank God for that. Making the choice to be thankful will really help you get over being negative and depressed. No one can do that for you. You just have to make the choice.
Get Your Mind Off Yourself
I was flying on an airplane going to speak at a conference when I pulled out the magazine in the seat pocket in front of me. As I began to peruse it, my eye was caught by an article, “Buying Happiness.” In the article the author shares that “grateful people report feeling 25 percent more happiness and energy and 20 percent less envy and resentment in several recent studies at the University of California. They also slept 10 percent longer each night and exercised 33 percent more if they wrote down what they felt thankful for.” The author shares the truth that “gratitude is an antidote to negative emotions.”8
Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always); be unceasing in
prayer [praying perse veringly]; thank [God] in everything [no matter what the cir cumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will]. Do not quench (suppress or subdue) the [Holy] Spirit.
—I THESSALONIANS 5:16–19
When you choose to be a thankful person no matter what is happening, you will be a continually happy person. Your joy will not end.
Sometimes you just have to get your mind off yourself and your problems. One of the best ways to do this is by making the choice to help someone else. Get your mind off yourself and onto someone else. Find ways to be a blessing to someone. Find ways to help other people. It will really turn things around in your own life. Perspective is so important. When you realize there are people who are way worse off than you are, it makes your own problems seem smaller.
In that same article I read on the airplane, the author was sharing how you could put a smile on your face with the pennies in your pocket. I was intrigued. The article shared that “people who give charitably rank themselves as happier people than people who don’t, according to a 2008 study by the University of British Columbia.” She writes that anonymous acts of kindness make us feel like a better person creating feelings of happiness. Being generous boosts positive emotions, making you feel better about yourself and those around you. She encourages people to “drop change into an expired parking meter. Pick up a friend’s lunch check. And give a generous charitable donation.”9 You see, God was right. He loves a cheerful giver! He knows that thinking about others above yourself and that giving generously make us happier people! If you want to be happy, start doing something for someone else.
Paul shares in Acts 20:33–35, “I coveted no man’s silver or gold or [costly] garments. You yourselves know personally that these hands ministered to my own needs and those [of the persons] who were with me. In everything I have pointed out to you [by example] that, by working diligently in this manner, we ought to assist the weak, being mindful of the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, It is more blessed (makes one happier and more to be envied) to give than to receive.”
When we think about and give to others, we are more blessed. We become happier people when we give.
The Duct-Tape Anointing
The enemy always likes to magnify a negative situation. He will make something so big in your own mind that it just makes you distraught until all you can think about and talk about is that problem. When you only focus on your problem, it makes it bigger and worse, until you are so worked up about it you end up doing something you regret later on. Some of you need to apply the “ducttape anointing.” What is that? Well, the next time you are tempted to talk negative and just focus on what’s wrong in your conversation, pull out a piece of duct tape and put it over your mouth! It’s the key to your breakthrough.
One woman kept calling our office every day with the same problem and prayer request. She would go over it again and again. Eventually we had to use tough love with her. We encouraged her to simply get her mind off herself and do something to help someone else. People who enjoy their pity party don’t want to hear this. They want you to join in the party with them. And at times I have fallen into this trap. Sometimes out of sympathy you want to just stroke someone’s wounds while they sit in their miserable state. You can do that for a while for someone, but that person can’t stay there forever. Eventually they have to get up, forgive the person who hurt them, and move on with their life.
If you find people trying to avoid you or you feel rejection coming from others around you, it may be that you are living in such a negative state and are exuding this onto everyone around you that they simply can’t take any more of it. You need to make adjustments, and fast, before you drive everyone away. It starts with the small things. Make the choice to get out of bed in the morning. Don’t keep hitting the snooze button. Some people live their life hitting the snooze button. It’s time to wake up and really live the life God has for you, a life of joy. Develop a pattern where you spend time in worship and meditating on God’s promises in His Word. Choose to speak positive, uplifting things, and focus on the good in your life and in the lives of those around you. Just by making those few changes you will find your entire outlook on life changing, and soon your soul will line up with your spirit and you will begin to experience God’s joy and exude it.
Are You Happy or Joyful?
There is a big difference between happiness and joy. Joy goes much deeper than happiness. Temporal things can make you happy for a while. Your emotions can get a temporary boost from things like shopping, going to a movie, or playing or watching sports. But when those activities are over, your soul goes back down again.
They’re really just temporary escapes. You don’t want a temporary escape or a quick fix. You want a lasting state of joy. Joy doesn’t come from your soul. It comes from your spirit by the Holy Spirit. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit that is not dependent on your outward circumstances. It really comes from the presence of God inside of you. This is why prayer, worship, and spending time in the Word are so important in cultivating joy in your life. The more you focus on God’s perspective and His truth, the more you will emanate the spirit of joy.
The Kingdom of God Is Within You
Joy is actually the result of God’s kingdom within you. Joy at times may involve an extreme emotion, but in your day-to-day life, it can manifest as a calm, peaceful resolve. Joy and peace are very much related to one another. Let’s see how this works.
Romans 14:17 defines God’s kingdom as “righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (NKJV). There is a very specific order here that cannot be ignored. First comes righteousness, then peace, and then joy. If you are missing joy, then you need to check in on the first two, righteousness and peace. It all starts with righteousness.
Righteousness is the state of being right with God. It’s knowing you have a clean conscience. When your heart is right with God, you will be right with yourself and with others. A clean heart before God that is free from sin then experiences peace. Peace with God leads to peace with yourself and then peace with others around you. When you enter into this place of peace, the natural result and overflow will be God’s joy. You will be filled with joy when you know you have turned away from all sin, gotten things completely right between you and God, entered into His peace within yourself, and are walking in a way that pleases God. This is really the ultimate source of our joy. Everything else comes and goes. Joy that comes out of being right with God and at peace with yourself and others does not fade. It can be a constant in our lives, depending on how close we are walking with God. The more the Holy Spirit fills every area of your life, the more righteousness, peace, and joy you will have.
There’s an old saying: “If momma’s not happy, no one’s happy.” How true that is. Well, the same is true for the Holy Spirit. If the Holy Spirit is not happy, you will not be happy. If there is something in your life grieving God, He will not be happy inside of you. The most miserable people on the face of the earth are Christians living in compromise. They know the right thing to do, but they are doing the wrong thing, and the Holy Spirit is grieved on the inside of them. God will allow you to be miserable until you get it right with Him. This is part of His loving discipline.
Sin may be enjoyable for a moment, but that soon turns to misery, especially in the life of a believer because God does not want you going down a road that will eventually hurt you. He will make you miserable as quickly as possible so that you turn away from negative things and back to God’s best for your life. Some people find this out too late, and their lives are destroyed by the momentary pleasure they once found in sin. But in the end it leads to death. True joy is found when living in a right place with God. That is why fame, fortune, and all the sin in the world cannot fulfill the vacuum inside. It’s like a black hole. The only thing that can fully fill that place is God.
Dealing With the Roots
The fruit of constant depression is a sign that there are deeper roots that need to be dealt with. These roots can range from negative thinking patterns, to wounded emotions, to deep inner struggles with sin and addiction, to undealt-with anger, offense, and unforgiveness. These things can be open doors to spiritual oppression. There will be times the ministry of both inner healing and deliverance is needed. But as we apply the Word of God to our lives and walk it out on a daily basis, God heals us everywhere we hurt and brings us through a process of self-deliverance known as sanctification.
In order to maintain our joy, we must follow the advice found on a sign that hangs in my living room: “Love deeply, listen patiently, forgive freely.” We must love unconditionally, forgive quickly, maintain our peace, and refuse to let offense and anger take root in our hearts. This is where the power of choice comes in. Deal with stuff quickly to keep your heart free and your life filled with joy. The truth is, you can’t afford to allow a moment of offense in your heart. The joy of the Lord is our strength. Without joy, we get weak: “And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold” (Neh. 8:10).
Joy in Unexpected Places
S. D. Gordon once shared, “Happiness is the result of what happens of an agreeable sort. Joy has its springs deep down inside. And that spring never runs dry, no matter what happens. Only Jesus gives that joy. He had joy, singing its music within, even under the shadow of the cross.”10
Every time I travel to a third-world country, I am amazed at the little children. Whether it’s Africa, India, China, or somewhere else, I have seen a common thread. It’s no wonder Jesus said we need to become like little children. I watch little African children running around barefoot in the dirt, no earthly possessions, not much food, not even shoes for their feet. Yet there they are, running all around me with big smiles on their faces, seemingly oblivious to the poverty that surrounds them. This is life for them. Yet in the midst of great lack there is the joy of life that can be seen in their smiling eyes and in the sounds of laughter.
