by John Harris
He walked up to his masterpiece. “On this one, the man offers his seed to the world. It is his gift of life and both the source of a woman’s bane and delight. I called it the fountain of truth.” With those words, Ryan looked at Mason, who nodded back at him, showing his understanding. For everyone else, the paintings had something biblical about them, but only Mason and Ryan knew that they had to do with the lie they were living.
“Please give a hand for Ryan Mitchell.” Liam waited for the uproarious applause to finally die down. “At this juncture, we will start the auction. The opening price is $10,000.”
The response was instantaneous. In moments, the price shot up to $45,000. The main bidder was the man who had bought most of the other pictures in the series for less than a quarter of the current price. He smelled a bargain if he could get his hands on the most important piece.
“$150,000!” Mason shouted.
A stunned silence befell the room. This was soon followed by a hubbub of voices crying out their surprise. Amber and Juan couldn’t stop shaking Ryan’s arm.
“Any other bids, ladies and gentlemen?” Liam asked. He scanned the faces of the men and women standing before him until his gaze rested on the collector. After a moment of contemplation, he shook his head.
“Going once, twice…”
“I’ll throw in another five grand for a charity of the artist’s choosing, if he goes for dinner with me tomorrow,” said Mason, with a huge grin on his face. “I need to know everything there is to know about this magnificent piece.”
Liam gave Ryan a questioning look.
“I’d be delighted,” Ryan said confidently. All his prior nervousness had evaporated into thin air as he flashed Mason one of his most magnetic smiles.
Ryan entered Mélisse on Wiltshire Boulevard in Santa Monica through a rather nondescript door, his heart hammering inside of his chest. It was eight in the evening, and Ryan had started getting ready two hours before. Juan and Amber who were reportedly there to help him choose what to wear had only made things more difficult.
After he had been through his entire wardrobe twice, they had finally decided on a tight-fitting light-grey suit, white shirt, and a pair of Gucci loafers that Ryan had saved up for. Upon entering the chic restaurant, Ryan was pleased that he had worn a suit. The patrons were very well dressed and the establishment oozed elegance.
“Can I help you, sir?” asked a man once he was inside.
“Yes, I’m looking for Mr. Mason Whitelock.” Ryan’s eyes darted about. He had never seen such elegance in a restaurant in his life. The room boasted cream-colored chairs and tables with white tablecloths. The finely liveried waiters moved this way and that, carrying bottles of wine and plates with meticulously-presented food. Upon seeing the delicious fare, Ryan realized how hungry he was.
He followed the man into the heart of the gourmands’ and oenophiles’ paradise. In the back, he could make out Mason. Ryan ran his hand through his dark hair. Mason looked incredible in a perfectly-tailored blue suit and pink shirt. He gave Ryan a huge smile when he saw him.
“The world’s soon-to-be most famous artist,” he said, getting to his feet.
Ryan blushed.
“Come here, you.” Mason hugged Ryan and whispered in his ear, “You look great.”
The subterranean sound of his voice and the wafts of masculinity mixed with the same cologne he had smelled at the boutique that day they had met made Ryan dizzy. He was disappointed when the embrace ended, thinking he could have spent the entire evening in Mason’s arms. Despite his solitary pleasuring to the image of Mason, and the true significance of his paintings, he was still having trouble coming to terms with his newfound sexuality. Ryan couldn’t believe that he was gay yet. It made no sense at all.
“Come, sit down.” Mason indicated with his hand that Ryan should take the chair next to his. “I took the liberty of ordering some champagne. I hope that’s okay?”
“Yeah, I love champagne.”
Mason laughed as he gestured to the waiter to fill Ryan’s glass. When he was done, he looked at Ryan closely. “I hope you like caviar. I ordered us the caviar and truffle menu.”
“I don’t know. I never tasted it.” Ryan looked around. “Did you have to wait for me long?”
Mason arched his eyebrows. “You were right on time, if that’s what you’re implying. I always arrive early for a date.”
Ryan gulped, “Is that what this is?”
“You tell me what you want it to be.” He lifted his glass. “You don’t have to do it yet. Let’s get to know one another some more first. Cheers to getting to know the other very well.” An impish smile flittered over Mason’s lips.
“I’ll drink to that,” Ryan said as he clinked his glass with Mason’s. He took a sip of the champagne. It tasted sublime. The bubbles danced on his tongue and tickled his nose. He felt the tension disappear the moment he swallowed.
“Good, huh?”
“Yeah, really good.” Ryan swallowed deeply. He spent a moment checking out his surroundings again. The waiters milled about the restaurant in an organized flurry of activity. Finally, he looked at Mason who was studying him closely. “This is a very nice place.”
“It is that… wait until you taste the food. It’s incredible.”
“I can’t wait.”
Mason moved his hand across the table. He took Ryan’s in his. “I had a great time at the exhibition yesterday. The painting looks spectacular in my bedroom. It took a lot of effort to persuade my wife, but I won out in the end.” He sniggered again briefly, adopting a serious mien shortly after. “You should come and see it someday.”
“I’d like that,” Ryan blushed. Mason’s innuendo wasn’t lost on him. He was in uncharted waters. He had never flirted with a man in his life. Despite this fact, Ryan couldn’t help batting his eyes at Mason far too often. The thought of being in his bedroom turned his brain to mush.
Mason grinned, “You painted it for me, right?”
Ryan nearly spat out his champagne. He quickly placed the flute back on the table, trying to act casual. “You think?”
“Yeah, I do.”
Ryan looked down. He smiled when he saw Mason’s hand covering his. “Yes, you were my inspiration.”
“I knew it.” Mason shook his head in wonderment. “I saw it the moment Liam unveiled it. Incredible! How did you manage to do it? I mean, how did you paint it so that only I could understand the true meaning?”
Ryan waited for the waiter to place their starters on the table. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure at first. Then as I progressed, I realized that it was you that I wanted to paint. You got me thinking.”
“About what?”
“Me and who I am.” Ryan looked at his plate. “What’s this?”
“Imperial caviar with blinis, onions, crème fraiche, and parsley. You’re going to love it.” To make his point, Mason heaped a generous portion of the small greyish black globules onto a blini and then added the accouterments. He groaned with pleasure when he popped a forkful into his mouth.
Ryan copied him. He, too, sighed with pleasure.
“Take a sip of the Champagne to complement the caviar.” Mason lifted his glass and waited for Ryan to follow suit. “Bottoms up.”
Again, Ryan was ecstatic with the effect of the beverage and food on his taste buds. “Wow. You live well, Mason.”
A shadow briefly crossed Mason’s face. “It’s just a shame we have to live under the cover of darkness.”
Thoughts of what he had felt when he saw Mason again the night before consumed him. He had been so confused, happy, yet worried, all at the same time. On the one hand, he had wanted to take Mason in his arms and inhale his masculine scent like he had done this evening. On the other hand, he had been so nervous. The new feelings he had recently discovered just two nights ago had made him dizzy. Was this what it was like for all men who did not have the strength of will to accept what they were?
“You okay?”
“What? Y
eah, I’m fine.” Ryan gave him a casual wave. “It’s nothing, really. I have a lot going on in my life at the moment.” He popped some more blini into his mouth, followed by some champagne. Ryan felt grateful that he didn’t have to speak, but after he swallowed, he suddenly started up again. “Mostly due to the exhibition yesterday. I still can’t believe that I sold all of my paintings. Liam gave me a call today telling me what I made. I’ve never had so much money in my life.” Even though this change in circumstance bewildered him, it was what he felt right now that confused him the most. He had never felt so connected to someone as he did with Mason.
“You deserve it, Ryan. But I somehow have the feeling that there’s more.”
Ryan smiled, but seemed to be hiding something behind the expression. He couldn’t put what he thought and felt into words. It had already been difficult when he was around women, but this was worse. This time, he would have to express what he actually felt and not some fabrication he had always made himself believe. Ryan once more sought refuge in the champagne.
Mason let the silence between them continue until they finished their plates and the waiter removed them. “Come on, Ryan. What’s really going on?”
Ryan looked up. He opened his mouth a fraction, only to find that he didn’t have the words. He pressed his lips together in one last effort. “It’s complicated.” He wrung his hands together for a moment., “Okay, this is the deal…”
Mason watched expectantly.
“I hope I’m not wrong and about to make a total fool out of myself.” Ryan was in pain. This was one of the hardest things he had ever done, but he needed to come clean. He so wanted to come out into the open and be his true self. He had denied himself for too long. “We have feelings for each other, right?” he blurted.
Mason smiled warmly. He took Ryan’s right hand. “Yeah, it seems that there’s something going on.”
Ryan sighed with relief. “I’m just so new to all this. I don’t know where to begin…”
“I guess the best place to start is exactly here, at the beginning.”
Ryan took a deep breath. “Here goes nothing. I’ve never been lucky with relationships before. They simply didn’t work out. I’ve had girlfriends—they were nice, but I never loved them. I couldn’t build up that connection everybody talks about when they think they’ve found the right person, you know?”
“I know what you mean.”
“You do… but how could you, Mason. You’re married and have kids. You found love, right?”
Mason laughed like a condemned man ascending the gallows. He took a hearty swig of champagne. “Sure, I love my wife, but it’s more of a sisterly love. She’s my partner and all, but apart from being married on paper, we’re nothing more than that, in relationship terms.”
Ryan felt both relief and sadness at what he was hearing.
“My wife and I haven’t slept with each other in more than a year. I can’t—I don’t want to.”
“Wow, that’s a long time.”
Mason nodded, “I just prefer guys.” For the first time, he displayed his nervousness. He looked at Ryan in the hope that the other man would respond in kind.
“I think I do, too. Like guys, that is.” The words shot out of Ryan’s mouth just as the main courses were brought to the table.
“You’ve never been with a man before?” Mason was incredulous.
“No, I haven’t. I never had any sort of attraction to men before…” He swallowed nervously. “Not until I met you, that is.” He looked into Mason’s eyes, for the first time allowing himself to display his attraction for the other man in full force.
For a moment, Mason was at a complete loss for words.
Ryan made to get up, “I’m sorry, Mason. I don’t know what came over me. I think it’s best if I go now.”
“No, sit down.” The deep sound of Mason’s voice made some of the other guests turn around. “I feel the same. I—I’m just so surprised that somebody as cute as you has never had a guy before.”
Ryan blushed crimson. He felt himself stir in his underwear. The idea that Mason thought he was cute turned him on big time. “Go on. You’re doing a splendid job of convincing me to stay so far.”
Mason guffawed. “I’m going to help you explore this new path, Ryan.”
“Yeah? So how are you going to show me?” he asked, suggestively.
“I’m not going to put you through this whole discovery phase. We’re just going to let things happen as they do. Be all natural, you know?”
Ryan frowned.
Mason sniggered, “I’ve gone through my whole life thinking I was one way…”
Ryan nodded, “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s bad enough when others don’t get who you are, but when it’s you who doesn’t get it, it’s a lot worse.”
“It’s going to take time for you to get used to this. Only you can know yourself, only you know what you want, and you don’t need somebody trying to push you in any direction.”
“Somehow, I always knew that I was attracted to…” Ryan trailed off when the waiter came to their table to refill their champagne flutes. Then Ryan devoted his attention to the truffle risotto, leaving his words unspoken. The silence lasted quite a while as both men ate. After another moment, Ryan asked, “Why did you get married, Mason?”
Mason appeared surprised. “I guess it was just the thing to do at the time.”
“Did you ever love your wife? I mean love her like a man who loves a woman, and not like the sister you said before.”
“I sure tried to. I became so good at lying to myself that I truly believed that I was totally turned on by women,” he sighed.
“I know the feeling,” Ryan nodded.
“When my wife and I had sex, I always insisted on doing it in the dark. It was the only way I could… you know.”
Ryan smiled encouragingly, “Does she know?”
“Know that I like guys?”
“Yeah.”
“I think by the time I insisted on anal and then lost interest in sex with her, she started to have her suspicions.”
“What do you do when you have to?”
“I just go through with it, I guess. It’s just so different to what I feel when I’m with a guy.” Mason took a big gulp of the champagne, steeling himself for what he was about to say. Deep in thought, he refilled both of their glasses. “I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you back at the boutique.”
Ryan felt the heat rise up to his head and assault his cheeks with a vengeance, making Mason laugh.
“What?” he croaked.
“That you’re the one for me. As I already said, I had sex with men, but it was only to satisfy my bodily needs. I know that it will be far more with you, if you’d let me.”
“When did you first know that you like… um…” Ryan wasn’t ready to reply to Mason’s offer.
“Guys…” Mason frowned. “I had my first inkling when I was at high school, but I never took any notice. I was on the football team… It was a long road coming to accept it. Before that, I followed the typical path of dating cheerleaders until I finally decided to marry one of them.”
Ryan pursed his lips. “Have you had any relationships with guys since you got married?”
“No, not actual relationships, if you get my meaning. It’s quite difficult for a guy like me. With all the fame and all. If it ever got out, I’d be in deep shit.”
Ryan frowned. “So, you stay married as a pretense?”
“I used to, but now I just hang around for the sake of the kids.” Mason’s gaze flitted to one side to avoid Ryan’s stare.
“Mason…”
“Yeah.” With his short spell of nervousness gone, Mason looked at Ryan again.
“I’d like you to be the one to show me, and give you what you always lacked before.” Ryan’s lower lip quivered.
Mason gulped, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, surer than I’ve ever been before.” He grinned, “Do we like go to a hotel now, or what?”
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Mason laughed, “Not so fast, man.” He moved so close to Ryan that he could feel his breath on his cheek. “I want your first time to be really special.”
“Mason, this is incredible.” Ryan hadn’t stopped talking since he and Mason had arrived at the airport in French Polynesia.
“This is heaven on earth.” Mason smiled at the younger man. It had been his idea at the restaurant for them to get to know one another in a tropical surrounding. At first, Ryan had been reluctant to drop everything and leave with a guy he had just met. Mason’s tactful persuasion combined with Amber’s and Juan’s more persistent convincing had finally swayed Ryan to say yes. Mason had also implied that a private villa on the island of Bora Bora would give them the required privacy and freedom from the press that always hounded Mason.
The newly-built villa, aptly named Paradise One, sat privately and proudly within thirty thousand square meters of tropical foliage. It overlooked the Pacific Ocean on one side and a lagoon offering views of the neighboring islands and the towering Mount Otemanu on the other.
Ryan looked at Mason quizzically. “Have you been here before?”
“Yeah, with my wife and the kids.” He flashed Ryan a smile. “When I was with you at Mélisse, I knew you’d love it here.”
Ryan laughed, spread his arms and pirouetted. “It’s not that difficult when you check out this place. Who wouldn’t love it?”
“It’s got direct private beach access on the lagoon side. The water is so clear that you can literally see the fish swimming in it. Further out, we can go snorkeling among the offshore reefs. Over there is a lighted path through the jungle that leads to a private spot on the ocean side. There is also a boat and a captain for exploring Bora Bora and the surrounding islands.”
Ryan was so excited. He had never been farther than Las Vegas, let alone outside the US. “Gosh, the sand is practically white.” He bent over to pick up a handful, and let it run through his fingers. “Thanks, Mason.”
“Sure. There’s no person I’d rather share it with.”
