Lorraine didn’t reach for it.
But Griffin wordlessly gestured, drawing his fingers toward himself, drawing Lorraine toward her. She reached out, gently putting her hand in his and letting him pull her out of the car, closing the door behind her.
“What are we doing here, Griffin?”
“We’re facing your past, Lorraine. We’re conquering your fears once and for all.” He put his strong hand around her forearm and guided her gently forward. “Where did it happen?”
“What? Where did what happen?” she knew why she was playing dumb, blotting out the whole matter. She’d been doing it for years, as she’d recently admitted.
But that time had to come to an end; she knew it as well as Griffin did.
“Over here,” Lorraine said, no longer needing to be led. She walked toward the rear exit of the club, only a few cars parked near to where he’d made his move. “He was pretending to be drunk, and he needed air. But once we were outside, he…he changed. He’d… Do we have to do this?”
“We do,” Griffin said, “you do.”
She nodded, knowing she couldn’t defy him even if she should, and she knew she shouldn’t. “Well, he just…he grabbed me and kissed me hard. Then he forced his hands down my pants and started grabbing me down there. I tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t stop. So I reached out, just to knock him away, wound up scratching him across the cheek. His eyes went wide, his whole face seemed to light up, and…he kind of went crazy.”
Lorraine’s voice fluttered with nervousness—residual fear.
“Okay,” Griffin said, a gentle hand on her back to soothe her, “that’s all right. He’s not here now. He’s long gone—miles away.”
Lorraine nodded, looking around the parking lot. Her imagination flashed with those crisp images—being in that place, recalling that moment, Lorraine’s legs began to tremble.
“You’re right, he’s gone.”
“That’s right,” Griffin said. “And this is just a shitty patch of concrete, behind some shitty dance club on some shitty corner in some shitty part of town. There’s no reason any of this should have a hold on you, right? Right?”
Lorraine wanted to agree; she hoped to agree.
So she did. “Right.”
“That’s all behind you now,” he said, setting his hands on her arms and pulling her close. “He was rough; he was a liar and a thief of your virtue, Lorraine.”
“Yes,” she agreed, very softly.
“But I’m not. I treasure your virtue, which you were saving just for me, all this time.”
“Yes.”
“So this place, this event has lost its hold on you; that man has no more control over you. And he never will again.” Lorraine quivered in his gentle grip, voice rolling in the deepest recesses of her inner ears. “This place, it’s not a bad place anymore.”
“No.”
“It’s a good place, Lorraine. Because this is the place where I kissed you just so…” And he did, his lips gently touching hers, their noses brushing against each other. “This is where a sweet thing happened, Lorraine, this beautiful moment between you and me, a moment of love and tenderness.”
“Yes…”
“Yes, Lorraine, yes. This is the time and the place, the very second, the very moment, that you release the past and embrace the present. Here is where fear runs from us. Here is where everything changes forever.”
Lorraine trembled in his grip, her eyes slowly closed before they locked onto his. “How?”
“You know how, Lorraine.”
They kissed again, a gentle touch exploding into an explosive contest of courage and fear, new and old, past and future. There could be no question of what, or who, would win Lorraine’s soul.
Chapter 9
Albert paced around Carmen’s little library office, wheezing with his increasing frustration.
Lorraine said, “I don’t understand. Griffin single-handedly saved this branch, and this campaign will probably save every public library in the country. I thought you’d be thrilled.”
Albert nodded, eyes shifting to Carmen and then back to Lorraine. “Your efforts have been…considerable, Lorraine, that’s true.”
“It’s not you,” Carmen said to Lorraine, “you’re such a sweetie, Lorraine.”
“Yeah,” Albert said, “that’s kind of the problem.”
Lorraine asked, “How do you mean that…Albert?” He recognized her use of his first name, the only time she’d ever done it. Their dynamic was changing fast, and none of the three were very ready for it. None of them could stop it, however.
“Lorraine…” He stopped and corrected himself with, “Miss Devonshire, the rumors of your…your relationship with Mr. Phoenix, they’ve become…unmanageable.”
“Rumors?”
“This campaign of yours,” Albert said, “it’s put you into the spotlight, you and this…this fellow, this friend of yours…your patron.”
“My sugar daddy, you mean.” Lorraine rolled her eyes.
Carmen said, “Lo’, take it easy.”
“No, Carmen, I’m sorry, but this isn’t anybody’s business.”
“You’ve made it the whole country’s business! I’ve got Playboy magazine wanting to put you on their cover! Maxim is calling, TMZ is prowling around the library. I can’t have that.”
“No?”
“No. I’m trying to save the public library system, you’ve turned us…and yourself…into a laughing stock. This is a library, not The Dating Game.”
“I see.” Lorraine let a silent moment pass. She could feel the shift in their relationship, and she could sense her own inner strength rising, inspired by Griffin and filling her with a new confidence, a new sense of purpose. “You feel at liberty to judge Griffin and I, because for some reason the idea of any relationship between us is…it’s untoward.”
“Exactly, yes,” Albert said.
“Unprofessional,” Lorraine added.
“Entirely,” Albert said while Carmen looked nervously around the little office.
“Unlike the secret relationship you two have been having.” Both Carmen and Albert looked at Lorraine with round eyes, open with shock and fear. “You’d take me to task for going out with Griffin. But you’re just afraid I was going to wind up revealing your own secret affair. Does Mrs. Jenkins know about all this, I wonder?”
Albert stammered, “Well, I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Good,” Lorraine said, “then I won’t have anything to talk about, will I?”
“No,” Carmen was too quick to say, “you won’t, Lorraine, you totally won’t!”
“And there’s no reason not to go ahead with the rally,” Lorraine said, her smile completely natural and comfortable, even enjoyable. “Isn’t that right, Albert? Carmen?”
Both nodded. “Yes, Miss Devonshire,” Albert said, “that’s right, quite right.”
“Good, Albert,” Lorraine said, turning to leave her stunned superiors behind her. But she could sense the tension she left behind, and she knew she’d be revisiting it eventually, and by then it would be worse.
A video of Lorraine, Griffin, and Ashe walking through Larimer Square dominated Ashe’s computer screen, the TMZ logo splashing across the computer screen. The video clip was replaced by the show’s host and crew of writers, sitting around a writer’s room, the black-haired man in charge jotting down notes on a white wipe board.
One of the writers said, “Problem is, apparently single men are wandering into libraries all over the country. But not all librarians look like this one, I’m tellin’ ya. I don’t know how much good that’s gonna do for the libraries.”
“Won’t hurt ’em any,” a woman writer said. “But I really don’t get why this is news.”
“Hot librarian, billionaire philanthropist,” the man at the white board said, “charity events with world-class rock stars? That’s news. We gotta have crews at those rallies. I want one in L.A., one in New York, and our guy out in Denver.
”
Lorraine clicked the space bar, pausing the video. She turned to Ashe, sitting next to her at the couch in the suite’s living room. “Must be kind of weird, huh? All this stuff happening, being on TV.” Ashe nodded, but of course said nothing. “I’ll bet sometimes you wish you could just be a regular kid, huh? Going to school, maybe playing baseball or something afterward.” Ashe nodded, his posture slumping as he fell into Lorraine’s arms. He buried his face in her shoulder and she rocked him gently. “I know, I know,” she said very softly, “I wish I could make the hurt go away, Ashe, I really do. I’d do anything, you know that, right? Anything I could.”
Ashe looked up at Lorraine, their eyes locking, both tearful. Ashe nodded and Lorraine gently brushed a lock of his blond hair from in front of his face. Griffin stepped into the suite, the phone to his ear.
Lorraine asked Ashe, “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Griffin looked on with a smile, but Ashe just shook his head and then fell back into her shoulder. “I’ll go tell Mrs. B. we’re leaving.”
Lorraine stepped into one of the three hotel bedrooms, where Mrs. B. was sorting Ashe’s laundry. She seemed to feel Lorraine step into the room, and offered only a casual side-glance. “The boy won’t sort his laundry,” she said with her chipper little smile. “But even the Phoenix men have to separate out their whites from their brights.”
Lorraine wasn’t sure how to take the aging woman’s remarks, so she decided to ignore them. “Right, well, we’re off for a bit, Griffin and I. Can we bring you back anything?”
Mrs. B. stopped folding and turned to Lorraine, looking directly at her for the first time. “Oh my dear child, Mr. Phoenix is the man of the household, and he takes perfect care of me as it is.”
Lorraine tried to smile her way through the increasing tension. “I’m not surprised to hear that.”
“And I suppose your Griffin is treating you well too…as his guest, I mean, and, in a way, as his host.” Lorraine could sense the antagonism in her little voice. So she chose to let her go on. She clearly had a point to make and Lorraine was keen to hear it, thought she didn’t have to guess. “But I hope that, as much as you enjoy your little holiday with us, that you’ll remember that there is a boy involved, a very sensitive little boy.”
“I’m well aware of it,” Lorraine said. “How can you think I wouldn’t be? I’m very fond of Ashe.”
“Then you should consider his feelings and Mr. Phoenix’s, and prepare yourself for the inevitable.”
“And what’s that?”
But Mrs. B. just smiled. “Oh, you poor deluded thing. Do you really think this tryst is going to go anywhere? In a week, you’ll have had your little fling and we’ll go back to New York.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Don’t I? I’ve worked for the Phoenix men for almost two years, Miss Devonshire, two very sad, complicated years. Do you really think it’s fair to make their lives even sadder and more complicated?”
Lorraine wasn’t sure what to say. She was offended, but she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t unreasonable to assume these things, and that she only had the boy’s well-being at heart, probably Griffin’s too.
Am I wrong? Am I being childish and selfish and risking another big heartbreak for that poor kid when they leave, not to mention for myself?
Strolling through Union Station was like stepping back in time, the turn-of-the-century architecture and huge terminal stately and elegant. Lorraine and Griffin strolled past the new little boutiques and craft carts, footsteps echoing off the high ceiling.
Lorraine was distracted by her confrontation with Mrs. B., but she wasn’t ready to discuss it. And there were other things on her mind anyway.
She asked inquisitively, “We don’t know very much about each other, do we?”
“What would you like to know?”
Lorraine gave it some thought, heels clacking beneath her. “How’d you make your fortune?”
“My father worked his whole life, as a cook at restaurants around Los Angeles, coffee shops mostly—Norms, Ships, like that. Then he went into catering, craft service for TV shows, movies. He left a meager amount to me, and I had a good run. Between the stock market and real estate, I made a series of fortunate choices.” Griffin looked her over. “But I’ve done better since.” She smiled and nodded, but Griffin went on, “My turn: did you always want to be a librarian?”
Lorraine broke out in a little chuckle, but it didn’t last. “No, I-I wanted to be a million things when I was young, I guess: princess, astronaut, tomb raider, the usual thing. But I actually could be a librarian, y’know?”
“No, Lorraine, I don’t know. I see you, I don’t see a librarian. I see a princess, an astronaut, a tomb raider. Actually, you’d look pretty amazing in a Lara Croft outfit.”
Lorraine laughed, slapping his chest and looking away, but only to hide her blushing.
“Okay, my turn. You, um, you don’t have any…or rather, you must have had some women since, well—”
“One or two,” Griffin said. “But they were empty experiences. Not flings, I’m not saying that; I don’t do that. But I just didn’t connect with them, not the way you and I do. And I need that, Lorraine. Believe me, I’ve got everything money can buy, and I could have anybody that money could by. That’s why that all means so little to me. I’ve already lost the most important thing in life. I know what truly matters, the only thing that matters.”
“Love,” Lorraine whispered.
“That’s right, Lorraine, love…true love.”
They kissed again, long but slow and tender, their lips barely touching. They turned and walked on, but Lorraine couldn’t ignore the lingering sense of doubt, Mrs. B.’s angry assault, and all the numerous things that always seemed to be hiding in the shadows, waiting and ready to pounce.
No, Lorraine, she told herself, you’re better than that; you deserve better than that. It’s all in your mind, all in your past!
Griffin asked her, “Are you okay? You seem…preoccupied.”
She wasn’t sure how far into it she was willing to get with Griffin. But there was truth nearby, and it was easy to recognize. “No, I’m…I’m really worried about Ashe. I mean, I know you’ve done everything possible, but…I don’t know if he’s just gonna grow out of this. God, I hope so.”
“I’ve tried everything. These days, I’ve decided he’s got to come out on his own; I can’t pressure him.”
“No, of course not, you’re right. I just feel so…so helpless, y’know? Like there should be something I could say or do, but…it’s just not there.”
“I do know, believe me. All this money? I’ve got a Beatle’s personal phone number. But there’s nothing I can do for my little boy, my poor little son.”
Lorraine slipped her arm into Griffin’s and leaned against him, a reassuring nuzzle to tell him that she understood, that she felt the same way, and that somehow they’d find a way to release Ashe from his prison of silent sorrow.
And they’d find that together; it would be the only way they could.
But suddenly Lorraine’s legs stopped in her tracks, freezing her in her place. Griffin took an extra step and turned, reading Lorraine’s horrified expression. “Lorraine, what is it? What’s wrong?” The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, her mouth going dry. “Lorraine?”
Tony Gardner had hardly changed in the three years since she’d met him. He wore the same cocky smile, walked with the same loping strut. He was walking directly toward them, completely oblivious to her.
Lorraine turned, instinctively hiding her face from him. “That’s the man who attacked me that night; Jeremy chased him off. Gardner, Tony Gardner.”
“Are you sure?”
Lorraine nodded.
“I mean, are you absolutely certain?”
Tony walked past them, paying Lorraine no mind at all. “I am, Griffin, I’m certain it’s him.”
“Okay, stand back.” Griffin handed Lorraine his smartphon
e and said, “Call the police.”
“Griffin?” she barely had time to process his request.
Griffin walked up to the man from behind and tapped him on the shoulder. Tony turned, but Griffin gave him no time to react. He grabbed Tony’s hand and gave it a good, sharp twist. In a single, swift motion the guy was on his knees, yelping in pain.
“Hey, man, what the hell’re you doin’?”
“You’re Tony Gardner?”
“Who wants to know?”
“I’m making a citizen’s arrest,” Griffin declared in a calm but serious tone.
“For what, man? I didn’t do nothin’ to you!”
“Not me,” Griffin said. “Her.”
Tony looked over at Lorraine. “Oh shit,” he muttered.
“Yeah,” Griffin said, “those are my thoughts exactly.”
Another hard wrench had Tony squirming on the floor. “You’re breakin’ my fucking arm, man!”
“No, I’m not,” Griffin said. “I’m snapping the tendons.” Another hard twist and Tony screamed out in pain, and yet another produced a loud crack. “Now I’ve broken your arm.”
Two uniformed police officers rushed up, backed by blue-suited transit security officers. “What’s going on here?”
Lorraine rushed up behind them. “This man on the floor attacked me three years ago in the parking lot of Sables dance club. His name’s Tony Gardner.”
“That ain’t true, man!”
One officer asked him, “That’s not your name?”
“No, I mean, it is, yeah, I’m Tony Gardner. But I never seen this chick before in my life!” They cuffed him and he shouted in agony. “Stop it, that hurts! Jesus Christ!”
They dragged him to his feet and pushed him toward the exit, one officer turning to Griffin and Lorraine. “We’re gonna need to get a statement.”
“Of course,” Griffin said, turning to Lorraine. “You are going to press charges, right? Guy like that can’t be left to run around the streets attacking women.”
“No, you’re right, of course.” The old fear had returned, a feeling of helplessness that sickened her stomach and made her fingers tremble on her hands. But things had changed; Lorraine had changed. Griffin had changed her. She felt strong in his presence—capable. She’d stood up to Albert and Carmen, and she was finally ready to stand up to the man who had done her so much damage, and could have done so much worse. She took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and said, “Let’s do this.”
Steal Me (Longshadows Book 1) Page 23
