Jane’s hand begins to stroke my chest gently. Her fingertips trace my ribs, my solar plexus, the line of muscle from my ribs down my abdomen. The tickle of it relaxes me as I continue telling her about my shameful, horrible family.
“That night, dad didn’t drink. He sat in his room for hours, refusing to even come to dinner. We were all so tired of his abusive shit that we didn’t even attempt to go talk him out of his self-imposed misery.” Bile backs up my throat as I think of my part in everything.
I could have changed everything.
Jane clings to me, her heart thudding against my side. I sense she’s offering comfort, and love her for it.
“So he sat up there alone, likely thinking about how much we hated him. He put his shotgun barrel in his mouth and pulled the trigger.” The memory of the shot firing right above our heads as we sat at dinner, a chilling silence as we ate gives me a very real jolt now.
Jane’s fingertips leave as she hugs me with her arm.
As the quiet overtakes us, I wonder if I could have changed it at all. If I’d walked up there, would he have turned the gun on me instead? Would he have taken me to get even with Kieran’s cruel words? Would I have changed anything?
“He was sick,” I say, my words scraping my throat and leaving the sound hoarse. “We ignored him when we should have gotten help.”
Jane’s voice is one of reason and kindness. “He did what he thought he had to do to help. He thought he was beyond saving, and maybe he was.” She lifts her head to look at me. “But no matter what, it wasn’t your fault, or your brother’s. Your father made his choice with a clear head.”
“He wouldn’t have done it if Kieran hadn’t told him to. It’s where he got the idea.”
Jane is shaking her head, her eyes locked on mine. “No. He realized who he was and what he’d done. I’m sure the pain of that is what made him decide to do this, not your brother’s words. Honesty has a way of showing us when we’re the monster of our own stories.” Her expression is resolute, but I’m staring at her in awe.
She makes sense, and while I’m not totally sold, I’m absolutely, irrevocably in love with this woman.
Epilogue
Jane
“Daddy?” I say into the phone. It’s time to stop putting this off. Sure, he’d surprised me when I told him that Zac and I were over. He’d been relieved and told me that all he’d ever wanted was for me to be happy. He thought Zac made me happy. But this? I’m not so sure.
“Hi Jay!” He says, his voice full of warmth.
“I have a secret for you,” I say softly, hoping that Connor can’t hear me. Not that he’d be mad or anything, just that he’d tease me for not keeping my word like I’d said.
“You love Connor.” Dad sounds so sure I feel my mouth drop open.
“How did you know?” I ask, and he laughs, the rich sound of it filling my ears and heart with joy. “But that’s not it,” I say and he quiets down. “Put me on speaker phone,” I say, knowing mom is right there. I can hear her telling dad to tell me she misses me and loves me and we better come visit soon.
“Hi honey!” Mom says and I know I’m on speaker.
“Hi mom! Love you,” I say before hesitating. I know they’re both holding their breaths. “I’m…” my voice is a squeak of terror and joy. “Pregnant,” I whisper. The last six months with Connor have been incredible. He’s just a dream, but our mutual hatred of condoms and lack of being careful have resulted in a happy accident.
I regret nothing. I couldn’t be happier. Connor is a wonderful man for all his rough edges and imperfections. He’s fiercely protective, sexy as hell, and totally devoted to me.
I hear shock in them as mom squeals with joy and dad asks, “What?” as if he doesn’t understand.
“We’re so happy for you,” Mom says, and in mind’s eye I can see her glaring at dad as she speaks.
“We are,” Dad says, and I can’t help the joy bubbling within me.
“I have to go. Love you guys!” I say as I quickly get off the phone.
Connor steps into the room, startling me. “Who was that?” he asks, a playful smile on his lips as he arches an eyebrow at me.
“Nobody,” I say, knowing I’m not fooling him for an instant.
“They’re asking about you,” he says, nudging his chin toward the dining room. I take his arm as he walks me out. “Are they happy?” he asks and I nod.
“So happy. I think dad might have crapped his pants, though.” I can’t help the grin on my lips.
Connor seems just as amused. “I guess I should marry you to keep their delicate sensibilities intact.”
“Oh, shut up,” I say, rolling my eyes at him.
But he’s not done. “Plus, how else will I get my hands on all your family money?
“You’re not funny,” I say, glaring up at him. He’s quick to lean down and plant a kiss on my lips. Heat ignites my blood and I stop in place, my hand seeking his cheek as I deepen the kiss. There’s nothing I want more than him.
He's quick to remind me people are waiting.
We step into the dining room and I smile at everyone.
Emma, looking beautiful and tired, is balancing her new son on her lap. Beside her, Kieran is sitting close enough to touch her shoulder as he talks to an animated looking Olivia. On the other side of Olivia, Cami sits, her face peaceful as if she’s just happy to be present. I wave at her, loving how her eyes light up when she sees both Connor and I. She’s become a wonderful addition to our odd little family.
Victoria sits next to Emma, her eyes locked on Kyle, who’s over by his mother. Victoria is looking every minute of her six months of pregnancy, and there’s a glow to her that’s breathtaking.
Connor ushers me to the table and I sit. He’s quick to kiss the top of my head before walking over to give his mother a hug and kiss. He and Kyle shake hands before doing an arm around the shoulder hug.
Things between the brothers have never been so good, and I’m happy they’ve been working so hard to patch up the rocky relationships they were suffering under.
“Can I hold Kent?” I ask Emma, who smiles and picks up the baby and hands him over to me. I look into his big blue green eyes, wondering if mine and Connor’s baby will be half as handsome as this little man.
“Hi!” I say to him and he gives me a big grin before drooling a bit. He’s only four months, but he’s a big boy. “Still breaking hearts?” I say, loving how he engages as I talk to him. Olivia walks up next to me and I pull her into a hug.
“Like this,” She says, adjusting her little brother on my knees so he’s straddling. “Now bounce a little,” She says, and I do. He lets out a gurgly laugh and I can’t help but giggle at him.
“Thanks for that,” I say as he spits up a little.
“You’re welcome,” She says, wiping his mouth with her sleeve.
I look around the room at my new family, realizing just how lucky I am to have all of them. And as Connor clears his throat, I know what’s happening.
“Jane is the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known,” he says, pausing to smile apologetically at the other women in the room, “she’s fair and kind, harsh when she needs to be, and she’s everything I’ve ever hoped to find in a partner.”
He pauses and I hear the hush in the room.
He zeros in on me, his intense blue eyes questioning. “I’m the luckiest man in the world to have your love,” he says, and my cheeks sting red. “I love you more than life.” He walks over to me and kneels beside my chair. “Will you marry me?” he asks so gently I know the words are meant just for me to hear.
I look into his eyes, loving the mixture of danger and fun I see there. He’s everything I want and need in a lover, in a partner, and for all the jokes we’ve made, I think he’ll be the perfect husband.
“Hell no,” I say and I hear the men laugh. I gently hand baby Kent to Olivia and get on one knee before Connor, who looks confused. “You don’t get all the glory here,” I say, watching a grin
begin to form on his lips.
“I’ve put up with you for long enough to not have a ring on my finger,” I say, hearing the laughter around the table. But it’s Connor I’m focused on. “You’re everything I need and want in a lover, in a partner, in a husband,” I say, bringing his hands up to kiss his knuckles. Heat flares in his eyes. “Will you marry me?” I ask.
His eyes sparkle, “Let me see the ring first,” he says jokingly, and I pat my pockets like I’ve lost it. But I haven’t. I knew this would happen at some point. So I take out the onyx band I bought for him after a moment of fumbling.
Through the flash of surprise in his features, he’s still quick to tease me. “No diamonds?”
I roll my eyes at him and he’s quick to kiss me. “Yes,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Yes,” I say back, slipping the ring on his finger even as he takes my hand. I feel the cool band on my skin, but I’m lost in the kiss, forgetting for a moment that the family is here with us.
Until they start clapping.
I glance around, feeling self-conscious as Connor helps me up and back into my chair. None of them will let me live it down.
“Finally making an honest man of him after he knocked you up, huh?” Kyle asks, and I glare at Connor in mock rage.
“What happened to not telling anyone?” I ask and he shrugs.
“I don’t know. Let’s ask your parents,” he shoots back and I place a hand on my chest as if I’ve been mortally wounded.
“Wait,” Emma says, looking at us. “She’s pregnant?” I see her eyes light up with joy and I nod. “Am I the only one who didn’t know?” she asks, looking around the table before glaring at Kieran.
“Sorry honey,” he says, and I see her smack his shoulder.
I laugh, loving my family. But what I love more is the way Connor puts an arm around me as the family all congratulate us on the news that Connor must have told them. When he pulls me close and kisses me, I see Olivia roll her eyes even as the adults all seem to beam with pride and joy.
I can’t help but tease my lovely niece. “So, Olivia, when are you getting married?” I ask and she glares at me in good spirits.
“Never,” she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “You guys are disgusting.”
We laugh as the guys get up and head toward the kitchen as the oven goes off, announcing the food is ready. As they leave, I’m caught up in the love of my family, but Connor’s warmth and love remain on my mind even when he’s gone. I place a hand on the indiscernible lump between my hips.
Our pasts don’t matter. Who we are and how we handle ourselves is what defines us as people. And I’d say we’re handling everything that comes our way with grace and fortitude.
THE END
About the Author
Thank you so much for reading!
So who is Natalia Banks?
I’m a free spirit living in the gorgeous Rocky Mountains.
Growing up I spent summers at the cottage swimming, getting sun kissed and watching the sun set over the calm and serene water. This was where my real appreciation for nature was inspired from.
I have a lust for experiencing the beauty of the world and an insatiable appetite for indulging in all the delicacies along the way.
Whether I'm writing fireside in a cozy chalet overlooking the Rocky Mountains, or drinking from a coconut on the serene beaches of Southern California- I’m happiest when i'm feverishly penning a steamy novel and am honoured and grateful to share my sexy and tantalizing stories with you!
With Love,
Natalia
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Steal Me (Longshadows Book 1) Page 77
